Speccie Party: No Canapes, Plenty of Sardines

It was not quite politics babylon on St James - Diane Abbott cosying up to Jonathan Aitken, Andrew Neil cosying up to a bevy of dusky maidens (really), Matthew d'Ancona cosying up to no one in particular. Guido dropped in on the Speccie party. They had heavies in the undergrowth, yet still Guido squeezed in.

Dave apparently did his usual 15 minutes of smiling, showing his face to friends thing, before heading back to Notting Hill (Guido arrived late, so that is second hand, possibly even completely untrue). Coulson was chatting cheerfully to some totty. The co-conspirator's sweetheart - little Jenny of the Bank of England - was inquiring as to her permanent successor on the Daily Politics - still no news. Melanie Philips actually looked jolly, Simon Hoggart looked lost, Katy Taylor-Richards was wearing a short skirt.

It was as packed as the proverbial tin of sardines. Guido experimented with the cocktail of the night - sponsored by the Ardbeg whisky firm - it was a very strong sort of a whisky sour with Grand Marnier. Guido thinks he will be snoring on the sofa through Diane and Brillo tonight...

Howard's End

Friday night saw a surprise party for Michael Howard, the well attended party in the constituency saw warm video tributes from Margaret Thatcher, David Cameron and John Major. The John Major video set may have seemed familiar to Howard - it was filmed in his office with Major sitting in his seat, a reversal that some might have found amusing...

Michael Howard will be spending more time at the races...

Davis Invited to Stand as Libertarian Party Candidate

The UK Libertarian Party has invited David Davis to join them, after he resigned as an MP over the 42 day detention law.

Patrick Vessey, party leader says:

"The Libertarian Party is the only UK political party which prioritises freedom and civil liberties above all else. As such, we feel sure that Mr Davis would be right at home in the Libertarian Party and invite him to join us... In this day and age, with spin and political corruption so commonplacet hat it's taken for granted that all Members of Parliament are simply in the job for what they can personally extract from the taxpayer, a man of rare integrity has reminded us all of the long democratic tradition in our nation. The Libertarian Party will not be standing against Mr Davis in the coming by-election, and will rather offer our total support to Mr Davis'campaign,
whether he stands as a Conservative or Independent candidate."

So perhaps Basher Davis could get to lead a parliamentary party after all...

OK, Now You Can Let Rip in the Comments

So contrary to early reports and rejoicing this morning on the unpopular blogs, Guido is still at liberty. Sentenced to a 3 year driving ban, plus 3 month curfew. No excuses, Guido pleaded guilty.

Mrs Fawkes laughed at the news, she has been trying to get her husband home early for years. Guido attributes his shameful behavior to excess alcohol and an early reading of P J O'Rourke's Republican Party Reptile*.

Thanks to all those of you who sent best wishes and to the not at all obsessed T** I****** for turning up to offer, errm, support in the public gallery. Having demurred to the offer of an alcohol treatment program, Guido will continue to drink and now be chauffeur-driven home early.

*The Platform of the Republican Party Reptiles:

“I think our agenda is clear. We are opposed to: government spending, Kennedy kids, seat-belt laws, busing our children anywhere other than Yale, trailer courts near our vacation homes, all tiny Third World countries that don’t have banking secrecy laws, aerobics, the UN, taxation without tax loop­holes, and jewelry on men. We are in favor of: guns, drugs, fast cars, free love (if our wives don’t find out), a sound dollar, and a strong military with spiffy uniforms. There are thousands of people in America who feel this way, especially after three or four drinks. If all of us would unite and work together, we could give this country. . . well, a real bad hangover.”

Of course there is nothing unusual about tagging for a blogger...

Not Very Neighbourly

If you are the daughter of an MP, living in Kentish Town, shacked up with a druggie barrister inclined to having loud all-night parties - turn the noise down.* Your neighbour is threatening to out you...

*And you never thought to invite Guido...

What Will They Say in Tunbridge Wells?

Alan Duncan is tying the knot with James Dunseath it is announced on the Court & Social page of the Telegraph. Some serious social changes are encapsulated in that, not so long ago the only Queen on that page was Elizabeth II, and the letters pages were full of outrage at gay marriages.

Congratulations to Alan and James...

Totty Watch : Big Brother's Emily is a Coke Sniffing Cameroonie

Big Brother has brought together the usual collection of crazies - starting off with an all girl line-up. For fans of political totty there is an interest, Emily Parr is an aspiring actress, who politically considers herself to be right wing and will be voting Conservative at the next election.

The Sun reports her "coke-fuelled lesbian romp in front of pals at a party". They picture the posh 19-year-old looking wasted next to a toilet. You get the hint.

Partygoers were apparently stunned as she stripped another girl. "Emily then fondled her boobs before disappearing into a bedroom with her for the night... She also performed crude acts on lads at the bash and did a raunchy lapdance for one ... One partygoer said: 'We were at this girl’s house outside Bristol last April and I saw Emily sniffing coke in the kitchen.'"

Why doesn't Guido get to go to parties like this any more?

Friday Lunch Alert

Guido has somehow managed to get himself into a cruel and unusual situation. No lunch booked on a Friday...

New Logo : Cannabis Conservatives

Dave the Rave?

What a shocker! The man who before he became leader described himself as an "instinctive libertarian", said he had "a normal university experience" and backed drug liberalisation for medicinal purposes, has confirmed that he had more than a few spliffs in his youth. But does he pass the hypocrisy test?

Yes. He has said the UN should consider legalising drugs and that the legal classification of ecstasy should be downgraded. He has never lied about his past either as far as we know.

According to the Mail on Sunday he also had a few worries when he was a SpAd at the Home Office and they were clamping down on Acid House parties, parties to which he and Samantha were not strangers. Can't recall seeing him, mind you, if you can remember anything...