Comments on Guy Fawkes' blog of parliamentary plots, rumours and conspiracy: Prize Competition : Compose a Political Haiku or L...

So, goodbye, PrezzaHope you soon leave hospitalOn ...

2007-06-07T02:04:00.000+01:00

So, goodbye, Prezza
Hope you soon leave hospital
On two trolleys

There once was a man called john prescottand a fun...

2007-06-05T11:54:00.000+01:00

There once was a man called john prescott
and a funny thing happened to him,now just guess what!
He caught a dose from his secretary,on a visit to his constituency
Well-wishers smiled as he was clapped out of office

Prescott diesPeople laughPiss on his graveAnd laug...

2007-06-05T02:50:00.000+01:00

Prescott dies
People laugh
Piss on his grave
And laugh some more

"Well, that's just Our John"Said another charlatan...

2007-06-05T00:22:00.000+01:00

"Well, that's just Our John"
Said another charlatan.
Please God, punish both.

When a fat thuggish bastard is dying,And his maste...

2007-06-05T00:01:00.000+01:00

When a fat thuggish bastard is dying,
And his master is usually lying,
We wish them both well -
And damn them to Hell.
The Devil said "You'll soon both be frying!"

There once was a deputy Prime MinisterWhose motive...

2007-06-04T23:48:00.000+01:00

There once was a deputy Prime Minister
Whose motives were more vain than sinister.
Though in hospital his chest
Was not under a vest,
The heart of his boss should arrest in the stir.

There was once an MP with two jags,who preferred e...

2007-06-04T23:20:00.000+01:00

There was once an MP with two jags,
who preferred extramarital shags
English rose or a Scot,
John would go for the lot -
he was saved when the court issued gags.

Die, you fucker! Die!You fat, useless word mangler...

2007-06-04T23:08:00.000+01:00

Die, you fucker! Die!
You fat, useless word mangler!
Have I said die yet?

fat man with effing sun tanburdened sick bedbeache...

2007-06-04T22:52:00.000+01:00

fat man with effing sun tan
burdened sick bed
beached whale returns to sea

Get well John PrescottBlair's out and about abroad...

2007-06-04T22:14:00.000+01:00

Get well John Prescott
Blair's out and about abroad
croquet is calling

Prescott lies weary and illAnd Blair lies badlyAnd...

2007-06-04T20:44:00.000+01:00

Prescott lies weary and ill
And Blair lies badly
And Gordon lies like a King

This one is a little mean-spirited (but then so is...

2007-06-04T20:34:00.000+01:00

This one is a little mean-spirited (but then so is he):

There was a fat thug named John
Everything he ever believed was wrong
With his ministerial Jags
And his extra-marital shags
No one will miss him when he's gone

As day turns to nightEngland inexorably slidesInto...

2007-06-04T20:28:00.000+01:00

As day turns to night
England inexorably slides
Into tyranny

Anon 4:57pmA pedant writes:Yer flippin no-nothin' ...

2007-06-04T20:24:00.000+01:00

Anon 4:57pm
A pedant writes:

Yer flippin no-nothin' yobbo! They can also be 7:7 too. My very favourite ones appear in You Only Live Twice (book, not filum)

Ian Fleming is my hero.

Two nervous nursesA gun and Russian RouletteLoser ...

2007-06-04T19:51:00.000+01:00

Two nervous nurses
A gun and Russian Roulette
Loser bedbaths John.

(The following happened last week.)Tracey Temple s...

2007-06-04T19:36:00.000+01:00

(The following happened last week.)

Tracey Temple said, 'Johnny, I say.
Your diary is clear for today.'
Prescott said, 'That's perfection.
I’ve a massive erection.'
And he squirted spunk all over May.

Amid a frenetic game of croquet,In the midst of a ...

2007-06-04T19:07:00.000+01:00

Amid a frenetic game of croquet,
In the midst of a busy working day,
With mallet aloft,
He finally coughted,
That's how Prescott passed away!

As we await the overdue departure of Prescott;Marv...

2007-06-04T18:57:00.000+01:00

As we await the overdue departure of Prescott;
Marvelling at the political advancement of such a clot;
We should be thankful he never got further;
As, most surely, he would'a;
If only he'd been born a Scot.

John Prescott that overweight shitRan his tongue a...

2007-06-04T18:38:00.000+01:00

John Prescott that overweight shit
Ran his tongue all around Tracey's tit.
He said, 'Let's begin
Now my cock's fully in.'
She said, 'No, that's the fold of my clit.'

From sailing with P and OTo nearly PM is a show.As...

2007-06-04T18:11:00.000+01:00

From sailing with P and O
To nearly PM is a show.
As MP for Hull East
He was a bit of a beast
And gave Tracey a bit of a glow.

There once was a moron called John,Who frequently ...

2007-06-04T17:47:00.000+01:00

There once was a moron called John,
Who frequently had a hard on.
He shagged any young bird,
And his grammar was absurd.
Noone will miss him when he's gone.

Civil libertiesNew Labour since ninety-sevenwar on...

2007-06-04T17:44:00.000+01:00

Civil liberties
New Labour since ninety-seven
war on terror now

Our genial host does not give a fuck,For contests ...

2007-06-04T17:37:00.000+01:00

Our genial host does not give a fuck,
For contests of skill or even luck.
He begs a loan
Of a thousand pound phone,
But only gives a second hand book.

Prezza once was a communist spy and Oh how he used...

2007-06-04T17:30:00.001+01:00

Prezza once was a communist spy and Oh how he used to lie,he took money from a red just to get hiself fed and the more he ate, crate by crate made him want to felate any old slag that wasnt his old bag!
Now we used to be big on the seas but prezza was into the sleaze and he said to the red if you give me a backhander ill turn my land into Rwanda and you can take over and ill be in clover, so who gives a shit on who I tread as long as ive got lots more bread.

Sick Prescott to his deep chagrinWas asked to prod...

2007-06-04T17:30:00.000+01:00

Sick Prescott to his deep chagrin
Was asked to produce some urine.
Said the staff nurse: "Get this.
Now I'm taking the piss.
Instead of you and your NuLab brethren."