Comments on Guy Fawkes' blog of parliamentary plots, rumours and conspiracy: Boris Bus Beats Ken's Killer Bendy Bus

Chaps and chappesses, The Routemaster was phased o...

2008-01-31T08:54:00.000Z

Chaps and chappesses,

The Routemaster was phased out due to EU diktat about access for disabled passengers and or/EU safety nannies fears that we would all fall out of the open rear of the bus as of course hundereds of millions of Londoners have done since the Routemaster went into service.

Ken is a useless cunt, but he is only doing what the rest of the useless cunts in our so called 'government' do which is rubber stamp EU diktats into law

Boris might like to bring back a modern version of the iconic bus (and I would love to see it on the road) but he will not be allowed to do so as Peter Mandelson or some such in Brussells will not permit it. Mind you, Mandy might like the idea of a butch lad in unifrom serving him on the top deck of the bus!

Boris is a stupid twat. From the Guardian backben...

2008-01-09T20:53:00.000Z

Boris is a stupid twat.

From the Guardian backbencher column:

"Boris's flights of fancy

Relief at 30 Millbank was unbounded when Lynton Crosby agreed to help
Boris defeat King Newt. Perhaps he can repeat the fine job he did for
Michael Howard three years ago. The only problem is that he still has
a part-time job in Sydney, which is good news for Qantas but bad news
for Boris - not least because Lynton will be commuting between the
two capitals until the final stages of the campaign. Not only does
this mean that Lynton may be asleep or in the air when Boris needs
him, it makes the would-be mayor's scepticism about Heathrow
expansion plans look rather silly. Indeed, on December 27, Boris's
people put out a press release complaining about the number of
domestic flights that staff in the mayor's office were taking. That
particular document was scratched from the archive when BackBoris.com
relaunched this week. Very sensible."

Peace campaigner Brian Haw has been continuously p...

2007-12-31T09:10:00.000Z

Peace campaigner Brian Haw has been continuously protesting in Parliament Square since 2nd June 2001. Initially, Brian was campaigning against the economic sanctions on Iraq and the bombing of the country by the US and UK. After 11 September 2001, Brian widened the focus, directing messages of peace, "against the 'war on terror', the terror that the US and UK have inflicted on Afghanistan and Iraq. Brian Haw protests on behalf of those innocent people who suffer and die in other countries, as our governments seek to further their own economic, military, political and strategic interests around the world," he said.

Brian Haw has received extensive international media coverage and has had visitors from numerous countries as a result including many heads of state. Many people from the UK and from abroad have made contributions to Brian's display with their own messages of peace.

Brian Haw is now seeking election by running for London Mayor as an independent candidate in 2008.

"the great thing about hydrogen-powered vehicles, ...

2007-12-24T08:28:00.000Z

"the great thing about hydrogen-powered vehicles, of course, is that all the pollution is made in producing the hydrogen in a big factory miles away, rather than in the vehicle itself.

this way smug greenies can claim their vehicle only produces water as emissions, and feel all good about themselves whilst blaming big business for the imaginary end of the world."

Are you suggesting that evil Ken would be happy to sit and gas the poor inhabitants of say Runcorn so his voters could get relief from all the smoke, gas and particulates his dirty diesel buses spew out every day. Never! Ken cares. Honest.

Busanorak,Two-man buses, yes! If the massive reven...

2007-12-22T17:29:00.000Z

Busanorak,

Two-man buses, yes! If the massive revenue from Kennyboy's congestion-chargezone-theft is actually being spent on pubic-transport [which of course it isn't], then there's a pretty big kitty available. I mean, LT managed to run two-man services in Central London before the Ken-Tax launched...

The platform only really needs supervising at regular stops. This is where those with mobility-difficulties are most likely to be boarding. Otherwise, the principle of empowered adults taking responsibility for their own actions should hold.

To respond to another criticism of open-platforms, namely what happens when the driver is playing bus-dominos by using his skill and judgement to determine the absolute best time to floor the throttle for maximum amusement: an old RM on full-shout had all the accelerative capability of a tractor. Modern buses use jerky auto-transmissions mated to poxy little turbocharged Euro-engines which must be kept in the narrow power-band near the top of their rev-range to get through the ratios. It is almost impossible to drive such contraptions smoothly.

Can anyone explain what Ken Leninstone has against...

2007-12-22T17:14:00.000Z

Can anyone explain what Ken Leninstone has against the old Routmaster buses? I'm imagining that he wants London to look like some grey, dull Eurocity, with any hint of Britishness erased. But I may be wrong.

Basil Brown -fair points BUT how can the conductor...

2007-12-22T16:13:00.000Z

Basil Brown -

fair points BUT how can the conductor supervise the platform if he's upstairs collecting fares? Or are we just moving to two-man buses - one to drive and one to supervise the platform? And where are we going to recruit these "platform minders" given the difficulty in recruiting anyone in London conditions?

When you get stuck for 25 minutes between stops in...

2007-12-22T10:45:00.000Z

When you get stuck for 25 minutes between stops in Whitehall in one of Livingstone's busojams with a driver refusing to open the doors so one can walk that;'s when I really regret the passing of the Routemaster.

As Livngstone said back in 2001 'only a moron would get rid of the Routemaster'. QED

@ Bus Anorak,1. Safety of open-platforms: there's ...

2007-12-21T15:01:00.000Z

@ Bus Anorak,

1. Safety of open-platforms: there's a conductor there to discourage reckless behaviour. And to help those with difficulties getting up the step. But really... why the hell can't we take some personal responsibility for our own safety? The open-platform is the primary reason Routemasters are so much faster to load and unload. What's more, it is an empowering principle. I'm sick of all this automatic-door, yellow-light flashing buzzer-beeping micro-management. It shows disrespeck to the mature adults using the services.

2/ Single/double-deck. The original RM Routey is [correct me if I'm wrong] 27' long. Just two car-lengths, and capable of carrying about seventy with standing.

3/ Fuel: Personally, I like the old slow-revving diesels chucking out black clouds of clag with particulates the size of thruppenny bits. Actually safer than so-called "low emission" Euro engines which trap visible large-particles, whilst letting through the really nasty little PM10s and smaller. If you see the exhaust clagging black smoke, you make an effort not to breathe it in. But if the Bendy-Kenmaster Eurobox has a big poster on it's shoebox rump proclaiming it's "green" credentials against a backdrop of likkle childwen and fucking daisies, and you don't actually see the emissions...

LPG has been tried but it doesn't work well with converted diesels. Reliability suffers.

Petrol's a bit cleaner but less efficient.

Electric/hybrid: bland and oh-so pseudo worthy. Delocalises the pollution.

I favour steam-power. Actually not as daft as it sounds, but I can't be arsed to explain why.

If Boris thinks his anti-bendy bus fetish is going...

2007-12-21T11:02:00.000Z

If Boris thinks his anti-bendy bus fetish is going to get him elected hes a bigger twat than he looks (not an easy accomplishment)

The vast majority of Londoners dont give a toss what type of bus it is as long as it gets them from A to B.

Mancmonkey,I'd follow that sentiment if it weren't...

2007-12-21T08:53:00.000Z

Mancmonkey,

I'd follow that sentiment if it weren't for the fact that lead based petrol is better for the environment than unleaded. We switched away from lead based petrol because it contained lead, which is bad for humanity, especially children... so once more humanity has chosen its own wellbeing over the environment.

And quite rightly so.

Machiavelli wrote: "'us cyclists'? How do you cycl...

2007-12-21T08:49:00.000Z

Machiavelli wrote: "'us cyclists'? How do you cycle p***ed, Guido?!"

Well, he'll be in no fit condition to walk... (old Andy Capp gag)

As far as 'buses are concerned, it looks as though open-back is too dangerous (despite some people's preference for them), double staircases would be a good idea, and bendies are definitely out.

Hmm. I think we've solved it!

You London poofs wouldn't even dare shove a savelo...

2007-12-21T00:25:00.000Z

You London poofs wouldn't even dare shove a saveloy up your own arses, you'd get your poofy friend to do it for you, and you'd cry even though you really liked it, then you'd probably go to the theatre or something. You cocks.

Let's try again:SAFETY - open platforms pose a sig...

2007-12-20T20:51:00.000Z

Let's try again:

SAFETY - open platforms pose a significant risk, so should be avoided. If bendies are more dangerous (evidence please) then they too should be avoided.

SINGLE or DOUBLE DECK? - endless argument. Double probably right for London.

FUEL SOURCE - whatever is practical and as environmentally friendly as reasonable. No flights of fancy please.

Boris is a lazy waste of space.

2007-12-20T20:20:00.000Z

Boris is a lazy waste of space.

Boy racer red is a very suitable colour for the mo...

2007-12-20T17:57:00.000Z

Boy racer red is a very suitable colour for the modern London bus driver.

Julian

Good point but these psychopathic clowns that currently drive the bloody bendy buses can and do just as much criminal damage without the need for an open staircase to help them.

BTW

Why does no one seem to give a monkeys about the lives of motor cyclist, which far outnumber pedal-cyclists in London?

We do not all ride like Jihadists, most of us have a wife and children to worry about.

A majority of us are into our thirties at least and drive cars as well, usually better and more safely then the rest of you. For obvious reasons.

Northerners are stupid. Several times I've asked f...

2007-12-20T17:55:00.000Z

Northerners are stupid. Several times I've asked for a wally with my fish & chips and they just give you a funny look.

PS For any northern twats reading this, a wally is a pickled gherkin.

ayeup - t'ere's trouble in clog mill - 'appen some...

2007-12-20T17:38:00.000Z

ayeup - t'ere's trouble in clog mill - 'appen some poncy southerner called clegg got a similar name. Where's his shawl? Th'll be trouble in Oswaldtwistle, down't chip shop.

"And oh yes, your saveloys are shite."Whar about t...

2007-12-20T17:21:00.000Z

"And oh yes, your saveloys are shite."

Whar about their black puddings? Fucking rubbish.

This Autocar "design" is pretty lame, but then I a...

2007-12-20T17:15:00.000Z

This Autocar "design" is pretty lame, but then I am biased, as I have my own, which will be posted up over the xmas break.

stockport chippie owner said... tapestry, nobod...

2007-12-20T13:51:00.000Z

stockport chippie owner said...

tapestry, nobody in Stockport or the whole of Manchester for that matter, gives a shit about cockney bastards and their bent buses . We'll stick with our trams up here, thanks very much.

And oh yes, your saveloys are shite.

I went to Stockport once. Heard you've got an ASDA since. That'll be nice.

Lend the place a bit of tone.

Would the open entrance be allowed under EU elf & ...

2007-12-20T13:33:00.000Z

Would the open entrance be allowed under EU elf & safety rules? I thought that was why the Routemasters were abolished.

One big problem with the Borismaster is the open s...

2007-12-20T11:55:00.000Z

One big problem with the Borismaster is the open staircase at the back. Anyone who uses London's buses (clearly not many on here to judge from the comments) will know what it is like when some manically depressed migrant bus driver sees you about to descend the stairs from the upper deck and immediately feels the need to floor his accelerator. I know of people who have suffered quite serious fractures as a result of London bus driver's idea of 'fun'; having people spill off the stairs directly onto the street would not be very helpful methinks.

Kommisar Ken and his Kranky Kongestion Kapers.He o...

2007-12-20T10:22:00.000Z

Kommisar Ken and his Kranky Kongestion Kapers.

He only gets voted in because most people paying the conjestion charge are from outside London, hence its a form of visitor tax to pay for the wingers from 'Hackney' and other self-appointed hard-done-by boroughs.

We don't have Bendy buses in Vienna also because o...

2007-12-20T09:08:00.000Z

We don't have Bendy buses in Vienna also because of the narrow streets. What we do have are single-deckers which "kneel" at the stops to allow pushchairs and invalid chairs easy access. Most of the buses are gas powered with low emissions. We also have new trams with the doors at pavement level. A journey across the city costs a single fare of 1 pound 30p hopping on and off either transport (as long as you are traveling in one direction.) WTF is wrong with London's transport is a mystery to me, but I wouldn't want to go back, that's for sure!