tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8212152.post6455301961851167064..comments2008-05-20T15:05:28.644+01:00JSnoreply@blogger.comBlogger154125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8212152.post-41520673861455449352008-05-20T14:53:00.000+01:002008-05-20T14:53:00.000+01:002008-05-20T14:53:00.000+01:00My GP said that I have calcium deficiency, so to save the NHS funds I have chosen to do a DIY job.freemannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8212152.post-74896379604128295142008-05-20T11:41:00.000+01:002008-05-20T11:41:00.000+01:002008-05-20T11:41:00.000+01:00This is truly disgusting. These are the hands of a hobo who has spent the night picking his arse in a bus shelter before his breakfast of Tennents Extra. I think Dave will have to have a deep clean of Number Ten before he moves in, and if I were him I'd change all the toilet seats. What a filthy spaz we have as Prime Minister. The only consolation is that the NuLabor mongoloids brought it on themselves. Couldn't happen to a nicer bunch of twats.peter carter-fucknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8212152.post-85261070363109511072008-05-17T23:42:00.000+01:002008-05-17T23:42:00.000+01:002008-05-17T23:42:00.000+01:00I..I..I'll sh.show you who's f-flash once I c..connect these two wiresAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8212152.post-81269963414215874912008-05-17T16:06:00.000+01:002008-05-17T16:06:00.000+01:002008-05-17T16:06:00.000+01:00when do we get the result?<BR/><BR/>or is this a fixed broonite ballot? I think we should be told.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8212152.post-85464119011478074122008-05-17T15:25:00.000+01:002008-05-17T15:25:00.000+01:002008-05-17T15:25:00.000+01:00hands that do dishes can be stuffed up ed's arse with mild green gordo's bogeysjaymasonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8212152.post-40344349635213241722008-05-17T14:35:00.000+01:002008-05-17T14:35:00.000+01:002008-05-17T14:35:00.000+01:00Sarah: Gordon darling...<BR/><BR/>DIRTY CUNT: Yes dear?<BR/><BR/>Sarah: I've just heard on the radio that Health and Safety experts have discovered the source of that nasty Norovirus...<BR/><BR/>DIRTY BASTARD: Really darling...?<BR/><BR/>Sarah: Yes, they reported that, quote: "After a deep and thorough nationwide investigation by the HSE, the source of the vile and virulent Norovirus, which is estimated to have laid low over half the UK population and cost the economy billions of pounds in lost production, has been traced back to the kitchen of No.10 Downing Street.<BR/><BR/>DIRTY DIRTY FUCKER: Must be some mistake, dearest. You know how those silly BBC people are always getting things wrong...<BR/><BR/>Sarah: Well, they attributed the story to Reuters actually, and even Guido's done a piece on it, so it must be true musn't it dear?<BR/><BR/>DIRTY DISGUSTING LITTLE SHIT: Quite, darling.<BR/><BR/>Sarah: But I simply don't understand it Gordon - I keep my kitchen spotless and <I>you're</I> not allowed any where near it...not since the foot and mouth outbreak...<BR/><BR/>SNOTGOBBLER-IN-CHIEF: Hmmmph...<BR/><BR/>Sarah: So however can this have occurred? It's so embarrassing.<BR/><BR/>MULTICULTURAL BACTERIAL BOGBRUSH: Absolutely no idea at all, dear.<BR/><BR/>Sarah: Of course, I did make that exception at Christmas, when you insisted on helping stuff the turkey, remember?<BR/><BR/>FUNGAL FREAKSHOW: Oh yeeeess...<BR/><BR/>Sarah: Still beats me 'tho...I <I>did</I> make sure you washed your hands scrupulously...and your face...and your bottom...and your wi...<BR/><BR/>REVOLTING WANKSTAIN WITH HANDS ON THE TILLER OF SS (SINKING SHIP) GREAT BRITAIN: A total mystery darling.<BR/><BR/>Sarah: But come to think of it...you <I>did</I> take a rather long time to finish the job...you seemed very keen to do it all yourself too...sent me off to the living room to put my feet up and "have a sherry or two"...even bolted the door...and I <I>do</I> recall hearing an awful lot of grunting an groaning emanating from that general direction...and quite a lot of banging noises too...<BR/><BR/>VILE GREEBO: I think I had some difficulty getting the thing in a good and accessible position...it was an extremely hard job...if my memry serves me.<BR/><BR/>Sarah: ...and lots of jumping about screaming like you were really enjoying yourself just a weeny bit too much...and didn't you use your own special recipe for the stuffing...vegetarian wasn't it you said...?...you tried doing it with the sausagemeat but it wasn't enough or something and the cocktail sausages also went missing somwhere...and funny how you didn't even open the breadcrumbs that day...?...and you were so pleased with your efforts, weren't you...?...really got a kick from all the strenuous activity you said...cooking was better than sex you said...?...built up quite a sweat...served the bird up on the table with a great big smile...you appeared to be so relieved...like a huge load had been removed from you...and the stuffing was so odd and crunchy...and a bit chewy too in spots...I distinctly remember remarking on it...and that breadsauce was a new variety too...don't know where you got hold of <I>that</I>...?...and why did a large portion of it end up inside the bird?...the taste was strangely familiar aswell...just can't place it...it's on the tip of my tongue...mmmmmmm?<BR/><BR/>BROWN-FINGERED BIRD-BUGGERING BOGEYBOY: (slinks off for nervous wank)<BR/><BR/>Sarah: Oh no!!!! You didn't?!!! Gordon?!!?!?! Where have you disappeared to?!?!!!! Come right back here NOW!!!! GORDON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <BR/><BR/>(runs off to barfroom)the hands that stuffed the country (the britain's sickest soap opera)noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8212152.post-88078170887508415572008-05-17T13:47:00.000+01:002008-05-17T13:47:00.000+01:002008-05-17T13:47:00.000+01:00Gordo De La Tourette Syndrome:<BR/><BR/>This incurable condition is an inherited neuropsychiatric disorder with onset in childhood, characterized by the presence of multiple physical tics. <BR/>Tics occur intermittently and unpredictably leaving the appearance of "normal behaviours gone wrong." <BR/>The tics associated with 'Gordo De La Tourette Syndrome' constantly change in number, frequency, severity and anatomical location; currently nose, fingers and rectum appear to be central to the latest bizarre behaviour. Waxing and waning — manifesting itself in Echolalia (repeating the words of others) and palilalia (repeating one's own words) occur in some cases. The most common initial motor and vocal tics are, respectively, eye blinking, sniffing, and throat clearing and occasionally self mutilation of the nose and snot-gobbling. Some patients experience localized discomfort in the shoulders leading to uncoordinated semi-voluntary jerking and shrugging of the shoulders with flaccid arm movement follow-throughs.<BR/>Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder are often associated with 'Gordo De La Tourette Syndrome' patients; whose symptoms if severe enough will warrant referral to specialist clinics.<BR/><BR/>Right now I am only in possession of the patients’ finger photograph, when I receive shots of the patients Nose and Arse I will be able to confirm the diagnosis."Hair" Doctor Spitz From the European Centre for ..........noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8212152.post-31189259702040009422008-05-17T12:40:00.000+01:002008-05-17T12:40:00.000+01:002008-05-17T12:40:00.000+01:00"Sim-O"<BR/><BR/>Another one of Fat Tim's sock puppets paying a visit, I see.<BR/><BR/>Turd.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8212152.post-42858607386071717952008-05-17T12:32:00.000+01:002008-05-17T12:32:00.000+01:002008-05-17T12:32:00.000+01:00These are the hands of a demented circus clown - outside I am happy but inside I am really wearing a frown - I see you laughing at me ..... ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hee he heeh hee haa STOP LAUGHINGAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8212152.post-10190834519677671922008-05-17T09:36:00.000+01:002008-05-17T09:36:00.000+01:002008-05-17T09:36:00.000+01:00"I'm getting on with the jobbie".T.Watnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8212152.post-3414346356625166332008-05-17T09:29:00.000+01:002008-05-17T09:29:00.000+01:002008-05-17T09:29:00.000+01:00Ancient Chinese proverb:<BR/><BR/>Man who bite nails better not also scratch bottom.Julianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03851642585686790590noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8212152.post-144279989652550382008-05-17T09:08:00.000+01:002008-05-17T09:08:00.000+01:002008-05-17T09:08:00.000+01:00"yes m'lud, I do realise"Sim-Ohttp://sim-o.me.uk/blog/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8212152.post-45819996521336316472008-05-17T08:41:00.000+01:002008-05-17T08:41:00.000+01:002008-05-17T08:41:00.000+01:00Geordie Scoot -<BR/><BR/>Because Gordo's wedding ring is still wedged up Konrad's arse.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8212152.post-24460853659504720112008-05-17T08:31:00.000+01:002008-05-17T08:31:00.000+01:002008-05-17T08:31:00.000+01:00As he sat in the court's public gallery, waiting for Guido to be sentenced, Fat Tim chewed his last remaining fingernail off. <BR/><BR/>Was this yet another sign of the obsessive compulsive disorder that everyone accused him of - all those right-wing bloggers who constantly plotted against him and talked about him behind his back? <BR/><BR/>He knew they had nothing better to do than worry about what he was up to.<BR/><BR/>When he heard the sentence that Guido had been given, Fat Tim was utterly distraught.<BR/><BR/>"It's back to one-handed blogging for me," he thought, wiping a tear from his eye with his stained handkerchief.<BR/><BR/><I>To be continued...</I>paperback writernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8212152.post-14393965617043739032008-05-17T08:08:00.000+01:002008-05-17T08:08:00.000+01:002008-05-17T08:08:00.000+01:00Why no wedding ring Gordo?Geordie Scootnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8212152.post-66198425019377397552008-05-17T08:07:00.000+01:002008-05-17T08:07:00.000+01:002008-05-17T08:07:00.000+01:00It just goes to prove that buggers can be chewersGeordie Scootnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8212152.post-51085268289972185432008-05-17T08:06:00.000+01:002008-05-17T08:06:00.000+01:002008-05-17T08:06:00.000+01:00GB "Now look at the state of these - that Dougie's arse is like heavy duty sandpaper!"Geordie Scootnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8212152.post-69701860401574918232008-05-17T03:43:00.000+01:002008-05-17T03:43:00.000+01:002008-05-17T03:43:00.000+01:00The state of Brown's fingernails prove the stress he's under as he tries to get the death penalty re-instated,firing squads for illegal immigrants,Britain's exit from the EU and 14 extra Bank Holidays through Parliament before the Crewe and Nantwich by-election.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8212152.post-16747278763258841602008-05-17T02:49:00.000+01:002008-05-17T02:49:00.000+01:002008-05-17T02:49:00.000+01:00Gordon is saying today, 'I'm the best person to lead Britain through the coming downturn' - i.e. not someone else.<BR/><BR/>His main concern from 1997 to 2007 was to get his hands on the levers of power. Now it's clinging on to power and especially stopping anyone from wresting it from his chewed-up hands.tapestryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17267094484651413428noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8212152.post-19936354466246348982008-05-17T01:10:00.000+01:002008-05-17T01:10:00.000+01:002008-05-17T01:10:00.000+01:00Look at my huge grasp of economicsNeilnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8212152.post-85116639247109242892008-05-17T00:00:00.000+01:002008-05-17T00:00:00.000+01:002008-05-17T00:00:00.000+01:00Judging by the state of his hands Gordon's been cultivating his vegetable plot too. Clearly the impending slump is going to be much worse than we thought.<BR/><BR/><BR/>PS, Andrew Marr on Jonathan Ross when asked about the coming recession "We're in for a bump - cheap food, Chinese imports and cheap immigrant labour couldn't go on forever."<BR/><BR/>Nothing to do Brown's profligacy and incompetence over the last 10 years then.electro-kevinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18073103431166273080noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8212152.post-41962751761961138662008-05-16T23:36:00.000+01:002008-05-16T23:36:00.000+01:002008-05-16T23:36:00.000+01:00Being P.M. is real nailbiting stuff...I like to chew things over before deciding how to disguise the disastrous failure of my government.petuniabeannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8212152.post-59159311949171032552008-05-16T23:33:00.000+01:002008-05-16T23:33:00.000+01:002008-05-16T23:33:00.000+01:00UniBond No More Nails is a high strength adhesive that eliminates the need for nails and screws in many DIY and repair jobs. With the strongest instant grab ever available in the No More Nails range.transfattyacidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02657816556456124166noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8212152.post-61283234992874813732008-05-16T23:24:00.000+01:002008-05-16T23:24:00.000+01:002008-05-16T23:24:00.000+01:00Can I please vote for:<BR/><BR/><I>and this is how we masturbate in scotland!</I><BR/><BR/>at May 16, 2008 1:39 PM?<BR/><BR/>Just a bit of friendly joshing between neighbours, of course. Not.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8212152.post-60181813601266869752008-05-16T23:05:00.000+01:002008-05-16T23:05:00.000+01:002008-05-16T23:05:00.000+01:00like fuck the country is in a safe pair of hands.joenoreply@blogger.com