tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8212152.post-30581546559644083262008-05-10T07:18:00.000+01:002008-05-10T07:18:00.000+01:00This was left on the tube from ZaNULab Headquarters by a disgruntled employee who has not been paid for three months.<BR/><BR/>Instructions to the Crewe and Nantwich Labour Party for the Prime Minister's visit on Wednesday 14th May 2008.<BR/><BR/>1. despite short notice the Prime Minister will wish to visit a school (preferably primary), hospital A&E and a Community Centre in an outlying area.<BR/><BR/>1. Due to budget cuts the party can only afford one busload of 40 endorsers. The visit must be timed such that the bus can arrive at each place at least one hour before the PM so that they can be placed appropriately.<BR/><BR/>2. Local people must NOT be present apart from necessary staff that have proven party loyalty (i.e. owe us their promotion and who we have something on).<BR/><BR/>3. Endorsers will represent a cross section of the public, will smile and rush forward to shake a smiling PM's hand when he enters each location. Please instruct all members of the real public to stay away.<BR/><BR/>4. At all times ensure that no barracking, name calling or the shouting of slogans such as 'fuck off bean back to jockland you creep' <BR/><BR/>5. Please ensure you have local tractor production figures at hand for the PM to use during brief structured interviews with the press.<BR/><BR/>6. Finally, thank you all in anticipation for your loyalty and support in these difficult times.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com