Comments on Guy Fawkes' blog of parliamentary plots, rumours and conspiracy: Party Funding : Tory Whips Tell MPs "Shut Up"

On state funding - I will contesting the new Meon ...

2006-12-28T13:42:00.000Z

On state funding - I will contesting the new Meon Valley seat as an Independent, who will decide how much funding I will receive? Will the 13,000 votes I won in Stevenage as a Tory candidate count towards how much will be doled out to me. I'm against it,my supporters (quite a few) will back me because they like what I say.Let the 3 traditional parties wither, the voters want new alternatives. Graeme Quar

BhownagreeYou have correctly observed that my degr...

2006-12-21T06:40:00.000Z

Bhownagree

You have correctly observed that my degree is a lowly one earned on site in the jungles through which the mighty Congo flows near the town of Stanleyville. As such I was known as the quinine dispenser.

Your man Brown doth indeed bestride our world like a gargantuan misanthrope and I fear the lean and hungry look in Reid's eyes. Watch for events mid March.

bhownagree said... Is it safe to post now? Has ...

2006-12-20T21:46:00.001Z

bhownagree said...

Is it safe to post now? Has HE gone?

You are impersonating me, sir: a liberty I do not take lightly. My lawyer, Ms Graspe, will hear of this.

I can't blog against Gordon anymore,"There is none...

2006-12-20T21:46:00.000Z

I can't blog against Gordon anymore,

"There is none but he BHOWNAGREE
Whose being I do fear: and, under him,
My Genius is rebuked; as, it is said,
Mark Antony's was by Caesar."

This acid-tongued philomath has humiliated us all.

Why, man, he doth bestride the narrow worldLike a ...

2006-12-20T21:41:00.000Z

Why, man, he doth bestride the narrow world
Like a Colossus; and we petty men
Walk under his huge legs, and peep about
To find ourselves dishonourable graves.
Men at some time are masters of their fates:
The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars,
But in ourselves, that we are underlings. (1.2.135)

Is it safe to post now? Has HE gone? "He reads muc...

2006-12-20T21:39:00.000Z

Is it safe to post now? Has HE gone?

"He reads much;
He is a great observer, and he looks
Quite through the deeds of men."

Well I Get It At Least:I presume you're paying tax...

2006-12-20T21:32:00.000Z

Well I Get It At Least:

I presume you're paying tax on it at the appropriate rate. If not, expect a visit from HMRC in the morning. Otherwise, I have no idea what you're talking about, and will thank you to keep your speculations to yourself.

His Most Serene and Exalted Highness, Bhownagree

bhownagree ;-) LOL! Keep it up!

2006-12-20T21:19:00.000Z

bhownagree ;-) LOL! Keep it up!

Your humble and grateful obeisance, both, has been...

2006-12-20T21:18:00.000Z

Your humble and grateful obeisance, both, has been received and noted.

He's proper class that bhownagree, you can tell

2006-12-20T21:17:00.000Z

He's proper class that bhownagree, you can tell

very honoured to have you here sir, if I may so, ...

2006-12-20T21:15:00.000Z

very honoured to have you here sir, if I may so, your excellency, sir

an ever so 'umble Brown voter

Dr CrackersMy vocabulary comprises approximately 2...

2006-12-20T20:45:00.000Z

Dr Crackers

My vocabulary comprises approximately 27,301 words, all different (except, perhaps, for the homophones, though this may well be a disputed point among philologists). Prominent among these words are choice epithets for describing Conservatives and their bodily functions.

I have learned this evening of the poor quality of your medical education, and thus shall not assume you know any words which might be unfamiliar to, let us say, a student of GCSE Human Biology.

I have also learned from this site that Mr David Blunkett is referred to by Tories not by his proper, legal name but by a highly offensive and flippant nickname which I blush to repeat.

In closing, may I add a non sequitur? It is this. Your sainted Mr Cameron has apparently emulated Jarry's Ubu by (a) removing his conscience from the suitcase where he was wont to keep and and (b) flushing said conscience down the lavatory pan.

Yours omnisciently

His Excellency, Bhownagree of that Ilk

IdleCrackers here. Not sure where btmktc came from...

2006-12-20T20:14:00.000Z

Idle

Crackers here. Not sure where btmktc came from.

You are spoiling me for choice. My armoury for defence against Mr Bhownagree's verbal assaults now well stocked.

btmktc - I am delighted you approve of the bunting...

2006-12-20T19:39:00.000Z

btmktc -

I am delighted you approve of the bunting phrase. Modest though I am, I allowed myself a slight guffaw when it occurred to me.

Treat it as your own - I will have only limited use for it.

The vulgar golfing pun normally used for the fairer sex also springs to mind - Ground Under Repair. Also Winter Rules - the one about being able to lift, clean, and replace your balls. Mandelson will understand that one.

"John Redwood appears to have not read the memo."I...

2006-12-20T18:53:00.000Z

"John Redwood appears to have not read the memo."

It was not written in Vulcan - and/or Sec-shaggers were not on the circulation list?

More Tax - We're all doomed!!!

2006-12-20T18:44:00.000Z

More Tax - We're all doomed!!!

idleDingleberries is Southern Hemisphere word to d...

2006-12-20T18:37:00.000Z

idle
Dingleberries is Southern Hemisphere word to describe 'anal bunting' - I actually rather like the latter term so in future exchanges with Mr B will refer to his arselicking activities as 'cleaning the anal bunting'.
Mr B is a refined man so on behalf of both of us thank you for this contribution to better language.

bhownagree and xmas crackers:"Tagnuts" or "Dagnuts...

2006-12-20T18:05:00.000Z

bhownagree and xmas crackers:

"Tagnuts" or "Dagnuts" are also perfectly acceptable terminology. In Cornwall they say "winnits".

It is a popular Xmas game for all the family to come up with similes, but as yet we ain't done it for anal bunting. I'll be ahead of the hunt when we do.

Funny - Francis Maude was openly against party fun...

2006-12-20T17:29:00.000Z

Funny - Francis Maude was openly against party funding on the last Tory Radio interview he did.

Great answer Dave Cameron gave you Guido on Webcameron. Think you should keep asking questions given how much light wasnt shed in his first response.

Peter HitchensI have emailed your home address in ...

2006-12-20T15:47:00.000Z

Peter Hitchens

I have emailed your home address in Kensal Rise to the mad axeman, likewise that of your parental abode (we both know where it is). Having come down to London from Hull and disposed of you, Mr. Hirst will then be travelling north to help himself to your mater's heirlooms. I have advised him to use the very excellent hi-resolution satellite images on 192.com to assist in casing the joint.

The word you use to describe me is desperately vulgar, much like yourself.

Yours Hindustanily

The Right Honourable Bhownagree, B.A. Calcutta (failed)

Tories have done it much more competently.That goe...

2006-12-20T15:15:00.000Z

Tories have done it much more competently.

That goes for everything, because Tories actually have proper jobs before they become politicians. Thats why you should vote for them rather than this bunch of incompetents.

Clearly Redders is the spokesperson on this subjec...

2006-12-20T15:12:00.000Z

Clearly Redders is the spokesperson on this subject.
Going through the motions of pretending that there is something to discuss and that General Hayden hasn't already stitched up a deal that's acceptable to all the parties.
Just waiting now for the next stitch up to be perpetrated against the electorate, proportional representation and no referendum on europe, just a shot gun marriage.

BhownagreeYou fucking come over hear from Belgium ...

2006-12-20T14:53:00.000Z

Bhownagree
You fucking come over hear from Belgium Via hindustan with your big cigars and champagne socialism and have the fucking cheek to tell us natural borns Brits what to do ?
You Sir are a terrible cunt!

bhownagree, thanks for correcting me. In future I ...

2006-12-20T14:47:00.000Z

bhownagree, thanks for correcting me. In future I shall refer to 'keeping the griffnuts(of Mr Brown) spick and span' when you propagate the faith on his behalf.

I,unlike your goodself, am of common stock so correct salutation would be Herr van Crackers. In point of fact we left Northern Europe at the time of William and Mary's reign.

I hope it not too long before "Arise Sir Bhownagree" becomes a fact.

...it is odd that there appears to be a media blac...

2006-12-20T14:45:00.000Z

...it is odd that there appears to be a media black-out on the issue from the Tories.

The diffs between Labour and Tories on cash for peerages'n'policy:

1) Tories have done it much bigger.
2) Tories have done it much longer.
3) Tories have done it much more competently.

The crime isn't the crime -- the crime is getting caught. If the Tories weren't even crookeder than Labour on funding they'd have been able to turn up the heat on Bliar even more and he might have been gone by now.