Guy Fawkes' blog of parliamentary plots, rumours and conspiracy: April 2008
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Wednesday, April 30, 2008

+++ YouGov Whisper Number Has Boris Ahead 6% +++

Mike Smithson has the whisper from a reliable source that YouGov's last poll has Boris "leading Ken 44%-36% on first preferences. After second preferences that becomes 53% to 47%."

Guido Predicts...

Boris will win and nothing else will really matter tomorrow. Polly Toynbee and all the rest of the chattering classes will choke on their words. Labour will finally understand in their collective consciousness that they made a terrible choice in replacing the triple election-winning Tony with the triple election-avoiding* Gordon.

They will also know that if Boris can win London, Cameron can win Britain. Gordon is a loser...

*1994 avoids risking challenging Tony for the leadership. July 2007 engineers a coronation through menace and intimidation to avoid a challenge for the leadership. October 2007 funks calling a general election to obtain a personal mandate in the face of a resurgent Conservative Party.

Short : "Arrest Blair for War Crimes"

It has just come to Guido's attention that Claire Short was on Al Jazeera earlier this month calling for Tony Blair to be arrested for War Crimes. That is her off the Christmas Card list...


Hat-tip : Charles Crawford.

Crackers Speedily Spun Off

David Cracknell surprised many three months ago by leaving political journalism at the Sunday Times to join sleazy lobbyists LLM as chairman and also becoming an MD of Financial Dynamics.

Now he is off, saying “The valuable time spent here has opened my eyes to a number of opportunities outside the firm which it would not be possible to take up were I to continue. FD has been kind enough to release me and I am very grateful for that...." blah blah blah... Everyone is being suspiciously nice about things and smiling.

This should be a warning to the recent crop of hacks leaving journalism for the thicker pay packets of spin...

Dave Looks to May 2 at PMQs

Yesterday Guido pointed to the 42-days vote as the post May 2 battleline for the PLP:
Guido believes that constitutionally and practically it is too late to mount a formal leadership challenge to Brown's under Labour Party rules in time for the September conference. So it would have to be by non-constitutional means that he is dragged out of Downing Street - Jack Straw no doubt will be at the back of the delegation doing the dragging. Another option is to make the 42-days vote effectively a confidence vote. Since the opposition will unanimously vote it down, it will be up to Labour backbenchers if they want to get rid of their unelected leader.

If Gordon kicks 42-days into touch it will signal his fears of the consequences...
Surpisingly today Dave didn't go off on the local elections, he challenged Gordon to make the 42-days vote a confidence vote. Gordon swerved the opportunity.

A line of questioning from Dave perhaps aiming to sow a thought in the restless collective mind of the PLP...

UPDATE : Ben Brogan is thinking along similar lines. He gives Dave no chance of "getting the ball rolling on the next rebellion".

Labour Cynically Exploit Tributes to Gwyneth for Data Mining

The readiness of New Labour to cynically exploit the goodwill of Gwyneth Dunwoody's constituents (where she had a significant following) hit a low with the hasty announcement that Labour will rush the election in record time. Now they have been caught milking tributes for partisan advantage.

The official local party website invites you to leave a tribute to her - nothing wrong with that. Guido cynically wondered why the online tribute form asks not only for your name, but your house number, postcode and email address? It seems Guido was right to be cynical...


Before she is in the ground they are electioneering. If anyone from Labour claims that it is just an innocent opportunity to leave a tribute to the much-loved former MP they are being less than honest. A close study of the data capture process reveals that it includes a sophisticated software routine designed to look-up and verify the postcode and collect the data for Labour HQ in London. This is not a spontaneous local initiative - it was designed by Tangent Labs, the Labour Party's national e-campaigns software contractors. Don't forget to include this work in your election expenses chaps....

The data will no doubt be used to help with e-campaigning in what could be a closely fought battle. This by-election will be a prototype for General Election e-campaigning strategies...

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

+++ EXCLUSIVE Benn to Sell UBM Shareholding +++

Just got the official line from Hilary Benn's office. He is now selling his shareholding, which came from his grandmother and father's interest in the family publishing firm which was sold to UBM. "He doesn't want to be drawn into this matter."

Worry & Hurry for May 22 By-Election

The unseemly rush to have the Crewe & Nantwich by-election can only mean one thing - Labour are worried. Guido can't recall an election being called before the body was buried before.

They obviously hope to prevent the opposition organising themselves and exploit the warm goodwill that still lingers from Gwyneth Dunwoody. The selection takes place Friday morning with the candidate to be announced Saturday night.

It suggests that they hope to get all the bad news out of the way before the summer. In time no doubt for yet another Brown re-launch...

UPDATE : Iain Dale speculates as to why Fraser Kemp won't be performing his usual by-election role.

Will Benn Divest from UBM?

UBM has announced that it is fleeing Britain's rapacious tax regime for the friendly and more welcoming business environment to be found in Ireland. Vince Cable has condemned UBM as corporate tax dodgers.

To be fair UBM management have to keep their shareholders happy - shareholders like the farm minister Hilary Benn.

Just got off the phone with Hilary Benn's SpAds, they promise to get back to Guido. They are going to ask Hilary what, in the circumstances, he is going to do with his significant and correctly declared, shareholding in United Business Media (thought to be worth 7 figures). Will he divest, vote against the move or sell his shares?

Aaronovitch Reveals Something Interesting

David Aaronovitch, refreshed after addressing the jolly ranks of hedge fund managers and brokers in the Caymans, has a revealing article in this morning's Times. He basically bemoans the lack of unflinching loyalty to the Brown cause from the Guardianista commentariat.

Is it the job of journalists to be boosters? Are they expected to keep to a rigid discipline? To follow the line? Aaronovitch has got a reply from Jackie Ashley where she basically reminds him that she is a commentator not an agitator. Glad she remembered...

She also gives a shorthand listing of her Guardianista colleagues' ideological bents:-

George Monbiot - Green
Martin Kettle - Blairite
Jackie Ashley - Brownite
Polly Toynbee - Labourite
Jonathan Freedland - Labourite

No surprises there. The speed of Polly and Jackie's disappointment with Gordon is a pleasant surprise. Remember how they wailed for the end of Blair? Aaronovitch was the last out of the bunker with Blair and looks likely to again be the last out of the bunker with Brown. What does that say about his psychology?

UPDATE :
A co-conspirator calls with this thought - Aaronovitch (like many ex-communists) admires raw power and is a trailing edge indicator. So in three years time he will probably be a booster for Cameron...

How Do You Like This Big Tent Gordon?

Kate Hoey will be Mayor Boris' sports adviser in the run-up to the Olympics and if some rumours are to be believed, Brian Paddick, not Boris himself, will be his chair of the Metropolitan Police Authority. That would be sweet revenge for Paddick, although it might not be so comfortable for Sir Iain Blair...

One Labour insider has just told Guido that Labour will implement a scorched earth policy in an attempt to sabotage Boris at every turn. Just as they have squeezed the SNP government in Scotland budgetarily from the centre they will do the same in London. Central government under their control will collectively punish London's voters for not voting Labour...

Post May 2 : Potential Battlelines

Gordon and the diminishing band of loyal Brownies must be thinking ahead to May 2 about the tactics and strategies to be employed to quell a PLP mutiny. The declining wider membership is so demoralised and disappointed that it is for now quiescient and no grassroots threat is likely. Avoiding giving the PLP opportunities to lash out at Gordon will be the prime goal.

With Mayor Boris in office and Labour suffering triple figure losses elsewhere, the keen sense of self preservation felt by politicians will come into action. Ken will no doubt blame Gordon (and his bad press), the timing of Gordon's 10p debacle will be blamed by the legions of local councillors who will be mourning their lost jobs.

Guido believes that constitutionally and practically it is too late to mount a formal leadership challenge to Brown's under Labour Party rules in time for the September conference. So it would have to be by non-constitutional means that he is dragged out of Downing Street - Jack Straw no doubt will be at the back of the delegation doing the dragging. Another option is to make the 42-days vote effectively a confidence vote. Since the opposition will unanimously vote it down, it will be up to Labour backbenchers if they want to get rid of their unelected leader.

If Gordon kicks 42-days into touch it will signal his fears of the consequences...

Monday, April 28, 2008

+++ United Business Media Flees UK Taxes +++

The company valued at £1.3 billion is fleeing the shores of Britain's increasingly high tax regime, joining the FTSE 100's Shire Pharma in what is becoming a trend as Britain becomes less competitive.

UBM will become tax resident in Ireland, where we enjoy corporation tax rates of 12.5% compared with the 28% suffered in the UK.

Plenty of room for the rest of the FTSE 100...

Lights Go Out at City Hall

Like a biblical omen, darkness has fallen on Ken's City Hall.

Due to flooding in the basement the power has been switched off. Has London ground to a halt? Has the lack of advice from diversity officers brought commerce to a halt? Will the lack of active bureaucrats halt the transport network?

Guido suspects London would function better without the extra layer of Mayoral bureaucracy....


UPDATE : Some jokes in the comments that the over-working paper-shredders probably fused the electricity - as with the Stasi before the fall of the Berlin Wall. Would be funny except Ken has boasted of doing exactly this before the 2005 Freedom of Information Act came into law.

Gwyneth Funeral Next Week

Gwyneth Dunwoody’s funeral will be held at St Margaret’s Chapel in London on May 8 at midday.

The by-election date will be announced the following week - expect mid-June. Thursday's local elections will be especially telling because due to boundary re-organisation, the results will be mappable onto the Westminster constituency. Rumours are that her daughter Tamsin may stand for the seat...

+++ YouGov: Boris 11% Ahead on First preferences +++

10% after second preferences...

Rich & Mark's Monday Morning View

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Lord Laidlaw Laid Low by Lust for Ladies

Frankly Guido is full of admiration for the 64 year-old. Coke-fuelled sex orgies with high class hookers can't be easy on someone recovering from prostate cancer and a heart attack. The News of the Screws has him at it with 4 girls, a gigolo and a tri-lingual bisexual. He has given £7 million to the Tories out of his £700 million fortune, so plenty left over for enjoying himself. He has now checked himself into a sex addiction clinic...

Saturday, April 26, 2008

How to Hack Harriet Harman

As the government contemplates a law to criminalise "reckless" losses of data it is worth reflecting on the sophisticated data security employed by Harriet Harman to prevent hacking of her blog:
username : harriet
password : harman

The hacker also tells Guido that he used "log-less multiple proxies" - which are the internet equivalents of dead drops. Apparently.

UPDATE Sunday :
Adam Boulton asked Harman on Sky if the story above was true (Adam, how could you doubt?) she sheepishly confirmed it to be the case.

Fill Up, If You Can Afford It...

Demos Abandons Party Conferences

Propeller-Head Wonk Watch: Word reaches Guido that the "Third Way" think-tank Demos is not going to the party conferences.

They claim that the returns do not justify the costs. There have been consistent rumours that Demos has funding difficulties - which they deny. Frankly given how much taxpayer's money is diverted to Demos, Guido doubts they are on the verge of bankruptcy. Guido has heard that as much as a third of their income is from taxpayers rather than voluntary donations .

Demos has a problem in that it seems to be on an intellectual ramble with no clear direction. Which does not mean it doesn't come up with occasionally interesting ideas, just that it no longer has a cutting ideological edge. Financial backers can't be sure what they are getting for their money. So they understandably don't give.

Technical Problems

Overnight something has happened. Not sure if it is technical failure, a hacker attack or just a glitch. Everything is backed-up and will be restored in due course...

UPDATE :
It was a glitch. Thanks to Dizzy for the solution.

Friday, April 25, 2008

American Idol Producers Baffled by Ratings Collapse

idol
According to the LA Times the curse of Jonah Brown has struck the ratings of the (until now) most successful show on U.S. TV:
And the pace of the fall off may be quickening. Last week's performance show, featuring the songs of Mariah Carey, one of the most successful pop singers in history, was the lowest-rated Tuesday "Idol" in five years among TV's most important demographic, adults ages 18 to 49. The subsequent results show, in which country warbler Kristy Lee Cook got the hook, delivered "Idol's" worst Wednesday numbers among adults ages 18 to 34 since its first season back in summer 2002. Producers also saw depressed ratings for their "Idol Gives Back" charity extravaganza, which this year aired as a stand-alone show with no competition-related material.
Guido has warned before - beware the one-eyed son of the manse, for he is accursed, and all he touches is cursed by him...

"Secret" Meeting Today Over Pitt-Watson

According to the Tribune (yes it is still going) Dianne Hayter and Labour HQ staff had been attempting to keep the meeting today “as secret as possible”.
Pitt-Watson has missed three officers’ meetings and at least two business board meetings and has communicated only to confirm that he had not given notice to his present employer.
Feel free to email Guido the conclusion of the meeting...

Background here and follow-up.

Friday Caption Contest

Blair's Final Bit of Advice to Gordon

With Labour now 18% behind in the polls on levels last seen at the height of Thatcherism, it is perhaps worth taking a moment to reflect. In his valedictory speech to the Labour Party's 2006 conference, Tony told Gordon what to do if he was having trouble defeating Dave's Tories. Gordon should heed the advice...

Harman Backing Boris on Her Blog

click to enlarge

Her website is also currently announcing her defection to the Conservatives. Guido thought it was a spoof site at first. In fact it appears she has been taking online security lessons from Grant Shapps. Her real website appears to have been "improved" overnight. Nice touch thanking Guido for knocking Hain out of the race...

This is the spoof site. They seem to be remarkably well informed about the hack of the real site. Maybe they swapped Harriet some chocolate for her password...

UPDATE 09.05 : Guido called Harman's parliamentary office for a comment. No answer. Well they do keep public sector hours so perhaps someone will get back to Guido before lunch. Meantime you can leave a comment, and many of you have already...

UPDATE 09.10 : The hacker has contacted Guido to tell him that the passwords have been changed. Harman is now locked out of her own website.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

"Let Them Drink Tap"

Frank Doran is Chairman of the Commons Admin-istration Committee. His Committee has decided that MPs will continue to drink bottled water.

He claims the decision was taken on "cost and hygiene" grounds. Guido doesn't understand. How can it be cost effective to ship 30,000 litres of mineral water in bottles up the motorway compared to pouring tap water into jugs?

If London water is not hygenic enough for MPs to drink, why is it good enough for the people of London?

This Scottish lawyer (another one) sounds more like Marie Antoinette than a tribune of the people...

The British Legion have launched a campaign* - the issue they want to promote to the public and politicians is the injustice of a situation where the families of soldiers who die heroically do not receive financial aid for legal representation in Court. When convicted child molesters die in custody, their families get legal aid. Why should soldier's families be treated worse?

The MoD is doing everything it can to frustrate legal investigations by coroners, suppress publicity and withhold compensation. The power to grant public funding for representation at an inquest lies only with the Lord Chancellor, Jack Straw. In the case of prisoners who die in custody the funding is automatic, Service families need to apply to the Lord Chancellor for their case to be classed as “exceptional” and they must meet financial criteria. Is that the right way round?

*Full disclosure: the British Legion are advertising their campaign on Guido. An advert is not the same as an endorsement - but Guido is more than happy in this case to support their campaign.

UK Mortgage Debt / GDP Ratio Worse than U.S.

"I will not allow house prices to get out of control and put at risk the sustainability of the recovery."
Gordon Brown, 1997 Budget Statement.

Gordon repeatedly tells us that Britain will weather the global financial turbulence better than America. The Bank of England projects that over a million homeowners could face negative equity in the widely expected property market downturn. The data above shows that British homeowners are more indebted than even Americans...

The National Association of Estate Agents reports that house sales and mortgage approvals have halved. First time buyers are an increasing rarity, below the asking price deals more common, properties are taking longer to sell and the number of buyers on agents books is down by a third. And Gordon still condemns the Tories for proposing to effectively remove first time buyers from paying stamp duty...

Hague : Lost in Africa

CCHQ sends a press release:
Shadow Foreign Secretary William Hague, has today called on David Miliband to take urgent action with regard to the Chinese ship, currently heading to Uganda carrying arms bound for Zimbabwe.
Guido suggests the Shadow Foreign Secretary need not lose any sleep over Chinese ships heading to Uganda. Just a hunch...

Gordon is "Reviewing the Situation"

Simon Howard has put together a quirkily melancholy melody. See for yourself on GuyNews.TV.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Quentin Davies : Regrets, He Has a Few

What was it he said about Gordon? Quentin Davies accused him of "unreliability and an apparent lack of any clear convictions". Oh no, it was Dave he accused of that, before he joined the ditherering, U-turning party. Gordon was "a leader I have always greatly admired, who I believe is entirely straightforward, and who has a towering record, and a clear vision for the future of our country which I fully share." Shared clear vision? You didn't see the political disaster that he is coming, did you Quentin?

So who was that lurking on the wrong side of the chamber at PMQs today? "Wish you were there, Quentin?" Guido has said it before, you would have to have a heart of stone not to laugh...

Brown's Bushisms

Gordon Brown was quoted in the Telegraph saying that he spends "every day that I wake up" trying to keep the economy on track. Does he not wake every day? Are there days where things are just too bad to get out of bed?

Last week he made two great Bushisms in his speech to the Scottish TUC:
  • "I remember the 1940s." Gordon Brown was born in in 1951.
  • "The Government has done more for poverty over the past fifteen years" Yes, when John Major was in charge of the government.

  • He also told Sky’s Adam Boulton last week that Britain had been “diversifying into gold” by selling Britain’s gold reserves. And it was the Tories fault anyway.
  • "Nelson Mandela was freed in our lunchtime." Well, Prezza's lunchtime...
  • "Britain and China are both centres of invasion…."
Do send Guido any more Brown language mangling Bushisms to the usual Guido.Fawkes@Order-Order.com.

U-Turn : Dithered to the Death

At PMQs Dave called Gordon "a loser not a leader". The hastily cobbled together deal placated Frank Field this morning and he withdrew his amendment. Apparently the sticking plaster for the lower paid will be backdated and will include "changes to the winter fuel payment system, tax credits and the minimum wage in order to compensate those losing out from the ending of the 10p rate."

Nice and simple. Not.

Cast your mind back to last week's U.S. trip. On the flight to Washington Gordon personally briefed the Lobby on the usual off-the-record basis that "No one will lose out."

He dismissed Lobby hacks claims that dozens of Labour MPs were set to rebel over the issue, saying: "It is just one or two MPs asking questions." The Mail on Sunday was not on the trip, so was not bound by Lobby terms, it accurately reported Gordon claiming
"You're wrong. No one will lose out. Come on . . . you guys have exaggerated it all."

When BBC political editor Nick Robinson insisted there was a sizeable Labour revolt, Mr Brown fired back*: "No it isn't. There are just one or two MPs asking questions."

When a journalist from a Labour-supporting paper insisted that the rebellion was far bigger, Mr Brown scowled: "Really? Really? That's what you say."

He was equally abrupt with ITN political editor Tom Bradby, who had asked him at the White House about the resignation threat by ministerial aide Angela Smith.

Mr Brown was forced to break off from his White House talks to beg Ms Smith not to resign. "You said a Minister was going to resign, but she didn't," Mr Brown told Mr Bradby.

Asked "What did Angela Smith say to you?" Mr Brown replied: "She just phoned me to say she wasn't resigning."

BBC Newsnight political editor Michael Crick asked sarcastically: "She phoned you up at the White House to tell you she wasn't resigning? Do all your Ministers do that?"

Another journalist put Mr Brown on the spot: "Do you acknowledge that there will be some losers from this tax change?"

The Prime Minister replied: "No. It's not as simple as that."

Such was the extraordinary nature of the exchanges with the assembled Lobby that the papers, even though bound by Lobby terms, were full of phrases hinting along the lines of "PM Privately Furious" the next day. Downing Street spin officials were horrified by the disastrous briefing. The PM appeared to be either in complete denial or out of touch with reality. He was also close to losing self-control and on the edge of throwing yet another tantrum. Gordon was convinced by officials he should give another personal briefing during the trip in an attempt to repair the damage done.

Clearly if you start talking transparent bollocks to the Lobby when you are off-the-record, you will inevitably get a bad press. The whole point of the Lobby and off-the-record briefings is that they are supposed to allow candid honesty in return for non-attribution. Gordon's psychological flaws and unwillingness to accept criticism make it impossible for him to accept that when he has made a mistake, and this was a huge mistake, he has to openly make amends. His usual bullying didn't work in this case - he has now made a humiliating U-turn - not an act of leadership.

*Nick Robinson has obliquely confirmed the Mail on Sunday's version of events. He blogs that "Gordon Brown had shouted down those who told him there were many many losers from his last Budget as Chancellor and those who told him he faced a real political crisis as a result." Guido suspects that Nick himself was, as reported, one of "those" shouted down.

UPDATE : U-turn letter (pdf) here.

Vince Backs McCain

He has just told Brillo on the Daily Politics that he would rather support McCain against Hillary Clinton. This puts him to the right of many Cameroons...

+++ Alliance & Leicester Drops 10% +++

Perhaps they need another £50 billion...

Gordon's Local Garage Hikes Fuel Price 25%

Britain is getting more and more like Zimbabwe every day, a leader afraid of elections, food prices soaring and now petrol prices jumping 25% in a week.

The Rix garage in Kirkcaldy has been charging an outrageous £1.45 a litre for diesel and £1.25 for unleaded petrol. Not that this will bother Gordon - he has never had to pay for petrol.

The Grangemouth oil refinery is on the verge of shutdown as it looks like a two-day strike by staff will go ahead this weekend.

Reports from around the country tell of queues of panic buyers worried that the 200,000 barrel-a-day Grangemouth refinery closure will force the BP Forties Pipeline System, which transfers oil from more than 50 North Sea fields, to be turned off. If the dispute lasts for more than two days Britain will run dry...

Is Jack Straw Four Votes from Becoming PM?

Sky's Jon Craig, who didn't join the Lobby to stand around in bars speculating idly, is playing