Darling: "Now, Gordon. We've come to talk to you about something important." Straw: "We don't want you to get cross, just hear us out..." Hoon: "We've come to the conclusion that there's only two possible courses of action open to you. Here is a revolver and a cyanide pill..."
Tuscan that was uncalled for And funny (+: *Serious* attacking an innocent woman really is below the belt. Isnt it bad enough that her "career" is so fucked that she had to grind her minge against the knob of some orange coloured dancer on primetime TV AND be married to Dolly Draper? You Sir, are a cad!
Well, you can tell by the way I use my vote, I'm a Brown's man: no time to talk. Borrowing like mad and fiscal rules, I've been kicked around Since I was spawn. And now its all wrong. it's doomsday. And you may vote the other way. We won't try to understand The credit crunch times effect on man.
Whether you're a brother or whether you're a mother, You're bankin skydive, bankin skydive. Feel the city breakin and everybody shakin, And we're bankin skydive, banking skydrive. Ah, ha, ha, ha, bankin skydive, bankin skydive. Ah, ha, ha, ha, bankin skydive.
Well now, I borrow high and I get high, And if I can't get either, I really try. Got the briefings of Number Ten on my tattoos. I'm a Bownite man and I just can't transfuse. And now its all wrong. it's doomsday. I'll live to see another day. We won't try to understand The credit crunch times effect on man.
Whether you're a brother or whether you're a mother, You're bankin skydive, bankin skydive. Feel the city breakin and everybody shakin, And we're bankin skydive, banking skydrive. Ah, ha, ha, ha, bankin skydive, bankin skydive. Ah, ha, ha, ha, bankin skydive.
Life goin nowhere. somebody help me. Somebody help me, yeah. Life goin nowhere. somebody help me. Somebody help me, yeah. bankin skydive.
Well, you can tell by the way I use my vote, I'm a Brown's man: no time to talk. Borrowing like mad and fiscal rules, I've been kicked around Since I was spawn. And now its all wrong. it's doomsday. And you may vote the other way. We won't try to understand The credit crunch times effect on man.
Whether you're a brother or whether youre a mother, You're bankin skydive, bankin skydive. Feel the city breakin and everybody shakin, And we're bankin skydive, banking skydrive. Ah, ha, ha, ha, bankin skydive, bankin skydive. Ah, ha, ha, ha, bankin skydive.
Life goin nowhere. somebody help me. Somebody help me, yeah. Life goin nowhere. somebody help me, yeah. I'm bankin skydive.
Hoon: "So this is what Shettleston looks like?" Darling: "Who would have thought?" Straw: "Uh oh, don't look but I think someone just saw us. It's ok, I've seen Jurrasic Park as long as we don't move they can't see us..."
Do watch the accompanying video of the Bee Gees Bankin’ Skydive at:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rKo7Tf5YBQ
Notice the run down houses, collapsed bank, economy .... it all looks like some places in Glasgow East
sing-a-long now
Well, you can tell by the way I use my vote, I'm a Brown's man: no time to talk. Borrowing like mad and fiscal rules, I've been kicked around Since I was spawn. And now its all wrong. it's doomsday. And you may vote the other way. We won't try to understand The credit crunch times effect on man.
These are the only survivors of the explosion that reduced the houses of parliament to rubble today An eye witness said a man with a box of fireworks was seen running away from the building.
groucho , cheeko and harpo meet up for reunion of the "marxist brothers" and remenisce about about some of their great movie moments .
alas "crappo" couldnt be with them as he was in southwold testing out a new anti lieing vaccine , early reports suggest the side effects have been terrible , ecnomic inconteinence and uncontrollable dithering.
"Goodbye-ee, Goodbye-ee, Wipe the tear, Gordon dear, from your eye-ee Tho' it's hard to part, I know, We'll be tickled to death to see you go........" (altogether now)
The leading lights in the Labour "Glee Club" pay a surprise visit to see the PM and wish him well for his holiday in Southwold.
"One for all and all for one, Muskerhounds are always steady. One for all and all for one, helping everybaaaaardy. One for all and all for one. Kids are pretty corny. If you got a problem chum, think how it could be"!
Castings took place last evening for the new Andrew Lloyd Webber musical "LABOUR NIGHTS" the latest variation on Noel Cowards famous London Lights.
Hoping to get the main part as 'Magnificent Gordon' were the Blackburn Tenor Jack Man O'Straw, The Scottish Castrato, Alistair's M'Darling and the former runner up of the 1906 Winner takes it all competition (won incidentally by Michael Winner the boy sensation) Jeff 'Guess that Toon' Hoon.
The eventual winner was a little known soprano from Dulwich, Harry Harmon. May we wish Master Harmon much success, especially singing the famous song of the musical "Everyone loves a gordon- can I give you one today"
Alistair, "Good news chaps we don't need to find anyone to tell Gordon to go. I have just leaked young Purnell's paper to force all the workshy in Glasgow to do Community work."
After delivering a canoe, a one-way ticket to the coast and a very large life insurance policy to Number Ten the three delivery boys slip away happy that the country will soon be free of its financial and leadership problems.
"They're coming to take me away, ha-haaa. They're coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-haaa. To the funny farm, where life is beautiful all the time and I'll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats and they're coming to take me away, ha-haaa!!! To the happy home, with trees and flowers and chirping birds and basket weavers who sit and smile and twiddle their thumbs and toes and they're coming to take me away, ha-haa!!! To the funny farm, where life is beautiful all the time..."
198 comments:
"will you tell him or will I?"
As Derek Draper slowly induced the Prime Minister into a trance, the three smiling assasins held their syringes out of sight behind their backs.
Anyone else hoping - praying - for a genuine Reservoir Dogs Mexican stand-off here?
I'll provide the weaponry, since the Government obviously won't. Unless the Saudi's are shaking their hands, of course.
Three wise men? Three complete pillocks, would be closer to the truth.
Gold, Frankincense and Dearth
Reservoir Hogs, surely ?
Knife in back crime. Three more perps caught.
Of the three, 'Buff'oon was the most worried about the 'circle jerk' planned to decide who has to tell Gordon the 'time is up'...
Jack Straw spots Derek Draper's missus..
Geoff: "So why the smiles lads..what are you planning?
Anything to do with that sea canoe event you are doing this weekend?"
The met didn't have time to choose so shot them all for the safety of the public. The IPCC couldn't be bothered to investigate.
"We are the Men In Black.. Gordon Brown's Defenders.."
Right so its agreed. We all wear blue Tory ties from now on.
Three men decide to make use of the fact that the location of Max Mosley's afternoon entertainment has become public knowledge...
Geoff left out as Marr & Robinsone assume the position
Cap in hand, the went to the IMF
Love them BLUE Ties!
Jack and Alistair were very pleased with the outcome of their tough morning at the Whips' office...
3 blind mice.. see how they run...
Tweedle-dum, Tweedle-dee and Tweedle-dim
On the last day of Parliament Jack Straw stuffed the lavatories with bog roll.
As another great depression approaches,the Three Stooges reform.
"We are off to suck the dick of a half blind, faggot in order to keep our jobs and perks, but otherwise we are men of conviction"
Hoon "which one of you has farted?"
Only Straw and Darling have prepped for the daily 'how to screw the public meeting': Hoon, as per form, decides his natural ability will be enough.
Keep looking straight ahead Alistair, straight ahead ......
You to Jack, and stop smiling, Yvette said Gordon seems to be dying .........
Men in blue suits preceed men in white coats
Old Holbon
They scuttled off tothe IMF........ classic
Darling: "Now, Gordon. We've come to talk to you about something important."
Straw: "We don't want you to get cross, just hear us out..."
Hoon: "We've come to the conclusion that there's only two possible courses of action open to you. Here is a revolver and a cyanide pill..."
It was at that exact moment Jack's Chinese-made butt plug broke loose, and the shattered but still buzzing device started working its way up.
Darling: "Gordon, we've come to talk to you about the Depression"
Brown: "Recess, surely?"
Straw: "Erm..."
Hoon: "Actually no..."
Introducing a brand new legal firm - Twat, Cunt, Dick & Co.
If only Gordon could actually drive, he could take his holiday here
Never mind. This time next year the sun will be shining and John McDonnell will be our leader.
"Who are you?"
"We are three wise men."
"Well, what are you doing creeping round the cowsheds at 3.00 in the morning? Doesn't sound very wise to me."
"We have come to pay him homage. He is our leader, our king."
"Homage? You're all drunk. Get out, the lot of you."
"But we have brought gifts! A rocking horse. A broken mobile phone. A CD with 25 million sets of DWP data."
"Well, why didn't you say so. Come on in."
"By what name are you calling him?"
"Er...Gordon."
"We worship you, oh Gordon....."
3 shits looking for a place to shit.
they're coming to take me away ha! ha! those nice young men in their clean white coats, they coming to take me away!
Straw dogs...
It was a dead heat, but the 3 lucky winners of the "night out with Kate Garraway" competition ensured she would be gastight by midnight
Hoon less drugged up and mildly reticent about the suicide pact!!!
A man can dream can't he???
Bee Gees tribute band after failing the X Factor audition?
The boys looked pleased with themselves. They seemed to have gotten away with yet another money making scam.
Hoon:
'Don't smirk guys - Gordon's picking his nose again!'
JS: Think what you like, there's no way I'm next in line.
AD: Does my tum look big in this?
GH: Foad proletariat.
Norman Wisdom, Paula Yates and Frankie Howerd lookalikes come equal first in the annual end-of-term party at Downing Street.
Or, conversely:
"Shut up"
"Shut up"
"Shut up and just keep smiling."
We come not to praise Gordon but to bury him.
Darling has the look of quiet satisfaction of a man who knows that today he's lucky Pierre.
Straw is chuffed - he caught the brand new Nokia hurled at him and is heading straight back to the office to stick it on E-bay
Darling hasn't done badly, bit of sticky tape on the Motorola and it'll be fine to use in emergencies.
Hoon a bit too slow as usual - the Samsung hit him in right in the bollocks and he's still smarting
Hoon shits himself after losing scissors paper stone to be the one to tell GB he's got to go.
Straw: There's that cunt Guido
Darling: Oh fuck
Buff: Who's Guido?
Straw "Thank FUCK for Dwain Chambers, is all I can say !!"
Darling, Buff'oon - "And so say all of us !"
Captain Darling: I have here a plan more cunning than a fox that has been to Oxford University
Baldrick-Straw: What is in the plan, Captain?
Capt. D: That we borrow unlimited amounts of money and buy votes with it
Baldrick-Straw: A clever plan. Let's go to General Melchett-Brown with it
Blackadder-Hoon: Sod that. Let's just take the money ourselves and get out of here. Last one to leave turn the lights out
Tuscan that was uncalled for
And funny (+:
*Serious* attacking an innocent woman really is below the belt.
Isnt it bad enough that her "career" is so fucked that she had to grind her minge against the knob of some orange coloured dancer on primetime TV AND be married to Dolly Draper?
You Sir, are a cad!
Once upon a time there were three little pigs ......
Bee Gees. Bankin’ Skydive
Well, you can tell by the way I use my vote,
I'm a Brown's man: no time to talk.
Borrowing like mad and fiscal rules, I've been kicked around
Since I was spawn.
And now its all wrong. it's doomsday.
And you may vote the other way.
We won't try to understand
The credit crunch times effect on man.
Whether you're a brother or whether you're a mother,
You're bankin skydive, bankin skydive.
Feel the city breakin and everybody shakin,
And we're bankin skydive, banking skydrive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, bankin skydive, bankin skydive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, bankin skydive.
Well now, I borrow high and I get high,
And if I can't get either, I really try.
Got the briefings of Number Ten on my tattoos.
I'm a Bownite man and I just can't transfuse.
And now its all wrong. it's doomsday.
I'll live to see another day.
We won't try to understand
The credit crunch times effect on man.
Whether you're a brother or whether you're a mother,
You're bankin skydive, bankin skydive.
Feel the city breakin and everybody shakin,
And we're bankin skydive, banking skydrive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, bankin skydive, bankin skydive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, bankin skydive.
Life goin nowhere. somebody help me.
Somebody help me, yeah.
Life goin nowhere. somebody help me.
Somebody help me, yeah. bankin skydive.
Well, you can tell by the way I use my vote,
I'm a Brown's man: no time to talk.
Borrowing like mad and fiscal rules, I've been kicked around
Since I was spawn.
And now its all wrong. it's doomsday.
And you may vote the other way.
We won't try to understand
The credit crunch times effect on man.
Whether you're a brother or whether youre a mother,
You're bankin skydive, bankin skydive.
Feel the city breakin and everybody shakin,
And we're bankin skydive, banking skydrive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, bankin skydive, bankin skydive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, bankin skydive.
Life goin nowhere. somebody help me.
Somebody help me, yeah.
Life goin nowhere. somebody help me, yeah.
I'm bankin skydive.
- Jon1
Curley,Larry and Mo
Just keep smiling and they'll never realise how fucked the country is.
Three wise monkeys
Hear no evil see no evil speak no evil....
Shhh lads keep our heads down let Gordon take the crap, we'll be in no.10 by Xmas!
We three kings of Orient are.....
...a bunch of Richards
Loooking at the picture i'm reminded of David Icke's comments about lizards etc.,
So prescient.
Photographer: "ok gentlemen, can you all smirk like stupid cunts for me.... and..... cheese....
what a set of cunts
Candidates for the first three lamp-posts?
Sorry, there just isn't anything funny about this lot. Unless there is someone off screen with an AK47?
Straw: Mr Prime Minister, we've come to talk to you about the knife crime statistics.
Gordon: Really, what's wrong with them?
Hoon: well, you missed one off....
Hoon: "So this is what Shettleston looks like?"
Darling: "Who would have thought?"
Straw: "Uh oh, don't look but I think someone just saw us. It's ok, I've seen Jurrasic Park as long as we don't move they can't see us..."
Gordon, this is not your life. In fact, this is not your day.
hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil - three dumb monkeys!
Three blind rodents in the La-La-Land of The One Eyed Cunt.
Do watch the accompanying video of the Bee Gees Bankin’ Skydive at:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rKo7Tf5YBQ
Notice the run down houses, collapsed bank, economy .... it all looks like some places in Glasgow East
sing-a-long now
Well, you can tell by the way I use my vote,
I'm a Brown's man: no time to talk.
Borrowing like mad and fiscal rules, I've been kicked around
Since I was spawn.
And now its all wrong. it's doomsday.
And you may vote the other way.
We won't try to understand
The credit crunch times effect on man.
...
- Jon1
Reminds me of my time in the Navy:
From left to right: Rum, Sodomy and the whip.
We have clearly identified strife, famine and war.
Are they searching for Death?
Darling and Shaw expressions when their pal whispered: "You guys are terrible...does he knows about it?
These are the only survivors of the explosion that reduced the houses of parliament to rubble today
An eye witness said a man with a box of fireworks was seen running away from the building.
BBC NEWSFLASH-
"Three bastards pictured just before they were stabbed to death in a fully justified frenzied attack by members of the public.
Their condition is said to be satisfactory".
Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you...
The Three Lies Men!
Or: See no future, build no future, have no future.
Labour's faces of the future.
"Daily Referendum said...
Reminds me of my time in the Navy:
From left to right: Rum, Sodomy and the whip.
July 18, 2008 4:53 PM"
He He, Genius.....
With a very busy summer of plotting ahead of them, the Reservoir Dregs had but one thought:
"LET'S GO TO WORK...."
Well at last, the three poof's have arrived, but where's the piano?
Gordon did another U-Turn and announced that only Hoon need go to Glasgow East and defend the government.
The men in grey suits get the colour wrong.
Friends of Dorothy.
The Straw man who has no brain, the cowardly Hoon and the tin tax man who has no heart.
The Last of the Summer Twats
groucho , cheeko and harpo meet up for reunion of the "marxist brothers" and remenisce about about some of their great movie moments .
alas "crappo" couldnt be with them as he was in southwold testing out a new anti lieing vaccine , early reports suggest the side effects have been terrible , ecnomic inconteinence and uncontrollable dithering.
"Goodbye-ee, Goodbye-ee,
Wipe the tear, Gordon dear, from your eye-ee
Tho' it's hard to part, I know,
We'll be tickled to death to see you go........" (altogether now)
The leading lights in the Labour "Glee Club" pay a surprise visit to see the PM and wish him well for his holiday in Southwold.
Strawman: "Have you seen ze public sector borrowing figures for June?"
Darling: "Ja, ze Britisher fools are no completely in ze shit. Soon ve vill hand zem over to ze forth Reich of ze EU on ze silver platter".
Strawman: "Ja, zey may wonder why we have ze smug grins our ze faces, but zey vill never vork it out".
Hoon: "wibble"
Public sector borrowing figures for June at a record £9bn. Econimists describe the figures as "horrific":
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/7513309.stm
YOU
WILL
OBEY
YOU
WILL
OBEY
YOU
WILL
OBEY
"One for all and all for one, Muskerhounds are always steady.
One for all and all for one, helping everybaaaaardy.
One for all and all for one. Kids are pretty corny.
If you got a problem chum, think how it could be"!
Over to you Dogtanian...
The Dr. David Kelly memorial anniversary was attended by the great and the good....and several labour politicians
OK, so we've been fired. At least try to look depressed about it for the cameras, guys!
'So Ministers, what is your reaction to the news that Gordon Brown has had a coronary?'
Castings took place last evening for the new Andrew Lloyd Webber musical "LABOUR NIGHTS" the latest variation on Noel Cowards famous London Lights.
Hoping to get the main part as 'Magnificent Gordon' were the Blackburn Tenor Jack Man O'Straw, The Scottish Castrato, Alistair's M'Darling and the former runner up of the 1906 Winner takes it all competition (won incidentally by Michael Winner the boy sensation)
Jeff 'Guess that Toon' Hoon.
The eventual winner was a little known soprano from Dulwich, Harry Harmon. May we wish Master Harmon much success, especially singing the famous song of the musical "Everyone loves a gordon- can I give you one today"
traitors
Boys, yes he is a shit PM but he does give you good oral relief!
The reshuffle is announced.
Straw: No Change
Darling: Health
Hoon: Chancellor of the Exchequer
I'm for Reservoir Hogs or Rum Sodomy and the Lash. Great stuff.
Three left-looking politicians?
Three little maids from school are we,
Out to sell our country.....
Jack Straw does his Armstrong and Miller line to camera..
"I'm wearing my wife's knickers"
Straw: I always thought Darling was a puppet.
Hoon: Where do you think I've got my hand you fucking chimp!
Three potential spine donors arrive at No10 unfortunately their snot type didn't match.
or
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered
And at the end of the treasury meeting everyone agreed with Gordon's new financial plan to combat falling tax receipts.
"we'll just print a lot more money,change the rules and stick more borrowing on the HMG credit card."
"I can write, him in t'middle can read,and the twat on the left keeps an eye on us two intellectuals!"
3twats going to see the main twat on how to setup a scorched earth policy ,IMF here we come
jack and Alistair's buck plugs were working perfectly, but Geoff's had developed a serious fault.
The not so Good, the Bad and the really fucking Ugly
why do labour politicians walk round in threes?
one can read, one can write and the other watches the intellectuals
3 fukin traitors....piano wire them up
Could I just remind you minister, when you get of the train, take the secret folder with you please.
dear jon1
dont forget the rest !
for you can try to spread the pain
just like its another day
well its all right thats ok
we will look the other way
for you wont understand just how much we lied for a decade
oh wether your a bummer or wether your a fudger you got to be stayin alive stayin alive
sky news breaking everybody shakin , you got be stayin alive yes stayin alive
ahh ha ha ha ha staying aliiiiivvvvveeeeeee .
oh you can talk
You could buy them for three tenors
Alistair, "Good news chaps we don't need to find anyone to tell Gordon to go. I have just leaked young Purnell's paper to force all the workshy in Glasgow to do Community work."
... meet Larry Mo and Curly
If carlsberg made shooting galleries
reservoir dicks
Jack, you're sure about not wearing black ties at funerals?
wild turkey
belfast
"What makes me an you a pair of legs Jack?"
"I don't know Geoff,what does make you and me a pair of legs"
"The cunt in the middle Jack"
After hearing their chat, Cilla, I'd prefer to remain lonely.
After delivering a canoe, a one-way ticket to the coast and a very large life insurance policy to Number Ten the three delivery boys slip away happy that the country will soon be free of its financial and leadership problems.
The Good, The Bad and the Ugly. In which order? You decide!!
Straw: I want to present the "This is your life" folder
Darling: Ok then, I'll give him this Tory Party Manifesto.
Hoon: Fuck it. Looks like I'm left with giving him my dirty little black book.
Three of The Most Important Faeces in Government.
...and that ain't a misprint.
Straw: I always thought Darling was a puppet.
Hoon: a gottle o' geer, a gottle o' geer.
"They're coming to take me away, ha-haaa.
They're coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-haaa.
To the funny farm, where life is beautiful all the time and I'll be happy
to see those nice young men in their clean white coats and they're coming
to take me away, ha-haaa!!!
To the happy home, with trees and flowers and chirping birds and basket
weavers who sit and smile and twiddle their thumbs and toes and they're
coming to take me away, ha-haa!!!
To the funny farm, where life is beautiful all the time..."
"Everything's looking good for me".
"Mine's doing very well!"
"And how's your pension, Jeff?"
Hoon: Haven't you seen a stuffed badger before?
Straw: You stuff it I'll mount it.
Shag, marry or kill?
2 bollocks and a prick...going to visit the Prize Wanker
Here come the girls..
And in the square window, Ratty, Badger and Moley pretend to be government ministers.
Jack Straw "So Alistair, why does Gordon call you Swiss Toni?".
Swiss Toni " Well Jack, as Chancellor; being in recession, it's like going to the bri