Coulson Does Gordon Over Guido-Style
CCHQ have released a very entertaining annual report to coincide with Gordon's first anniversary as PM next week. Some of it will be very familiar to fans of the "Twat Watch" and the "Jonah Brown" memes from this blog as well as Fraser Nelson's "Brownies"* meme from the Spectator. It is sort of a "worst of Gordon" annual compilation.This is undoubtedly the work of Andy Coulson, when he moved in to CCHQ in May 2007 Guido welcomed it, predicting he would "bowl bodyline. Coulson is a player, not a gentlemen, he could be their Larwood, they have far too many Jardines already."
Guido suspects this will signal a much needed change in the tone of Tory propaganda. Trying, as Osborne recently did, to frame Gordon Brown as a leftie won't work. The approach to Gordon has to chime in with the truth that people instinctively sense. He is an unpleasant, difficult to work with, psychologically flawed, malevolent, grudge-bearing control freak. These aspects of his character are even more of a negative than his tax and spend, big government, micro-managing policies. Going with this grain of truth will resonate popularly.In January this year Guido advocated (Finishing the Project : Making 2008 Dangerous for Brown) this full-frontal personal assault on Brown because
policy detail was irrelevant, what mattered was character, because Gordon Brown is a deeply flawed personality. Those flaws inform his tactics and political outlook. To defeat Gordon Brown his opponents should focus on him personally, something that Steve Hilton and CCHQ (prior to the arrival of Andy Coulson) were reluctant to do. Now, with the election put off for two years, 2008 should be about irreversibly breaking Brown's reputation once and for all.The Letwin / Gove / Willets policy based approach of 2006-07 was all very well for winning over columnists on the broadsheets, but the Coulson effect reaches the voters. Destroying the reputation of Gordon was easy once they tried - because he had a false reputation. Now the public knows him and his flaws they hate him, as the polls now show.
UPDATE : Labour are whinging that it is "character assassination".
*Brownies as in "he is telling a Brownie" are a form of words which is a statistical or legalistic misrepresentation of the truth involving selectivity or occasionally outright mendacity. It was Fraser Nelson who coined the phrase "Brownie". It was Andy Coulson who hired Fraser to write a column for the News of the Screws.
37 comments:
Isn't this what snotty is doing all on his own? Its a good idea though and I read the report thought it was a bit tame.
I hear Gobshite claims he will only fight one election as Great Comrade. At last, the cunt gets something right.
BTW watch the pygmy slime jostle between now and 2010 - think penguins making the leap into the Leopard Seal's jaws rather than any act of courage for the benefit of nation or Party.
Oborne, in the Mail yesterday, writes of Brown "....a failure - but at least he's an honest one". And then writes, "...(I am keeping a file of lies uttered by Gordon Brown).."
Although he confesses his claim is "controversial" Oborne mitigates Brown's performance by suggesting "..he is a far better prime minister than...Tony Blair". As if that's some sort of neat, exculpatory explanation. But it does seem to ignore the fact revealed to us in a succession of auto/biographies, and drummed into us for years by the commentariat, that, for all intents and purposes, government policy for the past ten years has been predicated upon Brown's demands/acquiescence/ approval/permission.
One wonders where Oborne is coming from. Or whether it is simply the case that he is setting out his stall for a 'K', a la White, before Brown and New Labour disappear into the impending electoral black hole.
Whatever, it does now finally look as if Oborne has lost it.
talwins testicle
I am a better prime minister than Blair..........whats your point?
Is Oborne a homo like Brown?
I could live with him being a deeply unpleasant misfit. What pisses me off is the effect that his ten years of record TRAKTOR production economics , have had on small companies in the private sector.
Anonymous....11.58am
Your point taken.
I wonder also how many New Labour supporters/members would agree with Oborne that Brown is a better PM than Blair. Not even Gary Elsby our resident Labour commentator and expert has suggested that! (In fact it would, for once, be interesting to get his take on this: you there, Gary?)
Well yes we know gordon is a cunt and we also know that only a fairy wand will see him as labour prime minister after the next GE let alone in govenment at all.
HOWEVER NOR DO I SEE THE TORIES CLEANING UP THEIR OWN MESS MUCH. SPELMAN for instance!!
I thort DC was going to sort this out in two weeks.
Another load of tory bollocks?
This comment is a bit out of date, sorry if something similar has been mentioned here before. It's O/T except for being rude about Gordon.
In the middle of May, our remarkable PM 'entertained' Naomi Campbell at No 10. Whilst this would have clearly been a piece of good luck for him, were he straight, many here wondered what effect meeting Jonah would have on Ms Campbell's looks (there was speculation she would wake up covered with warts, tits would fall off, that sort of thing).
Well, after her recent court appearance, many pointed out that one of the world's most celebrated beauties, is rapidly going bald.
The curse of Gordon strikes again!
Oborne's piece in yesterday's Daily Mail teeling us what a honourable man Brown is, was simply Editor Paul Dacre's way of climbing down on his support for his friend the PM.
It's clear Dacre can't puff Brown up in the DM anymore because the readership hate him. So this is the first step on a long road to eventually endorsing Cameron.
Dacre is one of those odd middle class types who can't deal with Etonians, but even he has to realise that middle Britain quite likes a smart, well-spoken, well turned out family man like Cameron.
And who will be the brave character to finally 'out' the snot gobbling fairy?
That should bang the last nail in the coffin... and go down well with his imported Muslim voters.
"Whatever, it does now finally look as if Oborne has lost it."
Along with Blair mrk2 he never had it.
"He is an unpleasant, difficult to work with, psychologically flawed, malevolent, grudge-bearing control freak."
Don't forget "dithering". I believe it was Coulson who recommended that this epithet should be applied to Brown whenever and wherever possible. It certainly worked: his weakness and unsuitability to lead are now widely perceived.
I have to say that people like Coulson, graduates of the Goebbels Institute of PR, give me the chills.
As for Oborne, he used to be incisive. Something seems to have rotted his brains.
It is wonderful to learn that some bought and paid for, bullyboy cocksucker in a press office has finally publicly agreed with what ordinary people here - and elsewhere - have been saying, far more pungently and with infinitely greater honesty, for a very long time.
Not only do we have the politicians shitting in our faces we now have their handmaidens in the street of a thousand arseholes peddling back to us our own judgements.
Coulson and Co; these cunts have been telling us for ten years what a great financial wizard is the screaming Nancy, Brown. Haven't they, hasn't that been the incontrovertible consensus among the lazy coked-up, money-grubbing witless bastards who try to shape national opinion? What a bunch of cunts.
Whatever Coulson now has to say we may be sure that he read it here first.
Popular light entertainer and tabloid personality, Professor Raj Persaud, is probably even now pasting together his latest Richard and Judy bookette: Stealing Other People's Work; Strategies for Coping, with a foreword by Andy Coulson and everybody else in the press.
If there was a handful of national MSM journalists with a streak of principle or independence then we would not, would we, be where we are; afloat on a sea of debt, the hospitals deathcamps; the children feral and homicidal, the weak, the old and the sick barracked and beggared by shit like the Ballses and the Benns, the Harmans, Tony and Imelda Blair and the fucking unspeakable Kinnocks; in illegal, pointless wars, the prime minister publicly, shamelessly, embarrassingly, grotesquely, genuflecting in Downing Street - our Downing Street - before the chimp Dubya, allying himself, in preference to the British who despise him, to US gangsters and Eurothugs in Brussels, all of whom for their own larcenous and bloody reasons are happy to let Gordon of the fucking Manse stooge for them; their false compliments music to his ear; their promises of future career opportunities irrefutable. And fuck democracy.
This fucking freak and his platoons of goons and pimps and slags didn't arrive from Mars, they are where they are - and we are where we are - with the connivance of prats like Coulson and Toynbee and Aaronobitch, of all of them, in fact,especially of Channel Dimbleby and its cocksucker pursuivant Andy Marr, venal even by the gutter standard of Jock-on-the-make.
Yes, it is great to know that part of the cabal that fed us the Gordon is Great, Gordon is Prudent shit now, serving a new master, cries Gordon is a cunt, come out Gordon.
It's just what we need, another pissed-up, depressive pornographer, Alistair Campbell Mk 2 pimping for Tony Blair Mk 2. These fucking useless old Etonians, they really do take us for cunts don't they ?
Stan, do you approve of the commentariat? Forgive my asking, but I get the impression you're not entirely happy with it.
Absolutely spot on Guido. We need to keep kicking the cunt Brown until he keels over or explodes in public.
Likewise, focusing on the character of Balls, Milliband and Harman in particular should reap dividends in the coming weeks and months.
"I hear Gobshite claims he will only fight one election as Great Comrade. At last, the cunt gets something right."
Made my day reading that yesterday...dead man walking.
"The Letwin / Gove / Willets policy based approach of 2006-07..."
The Three Tosser Amigos of the Tory party, who hopefully will be left in the cupboard in the coming months save for a possible occassional public sickly grin with no speaking allowed, lest we have an "intelligent" foot in mouth moment.
12:59 PM
You've definitely got the wrong end of the stick here, dave. Have you been looking up my skirt, you little terror?
FF @12:59
I get the wrong end of most sticks. Sorry, don't understand the rest.
I just saw Jonah Brown in the text and made the comment. It wouldn't surprise me if half Guido's readers had thought of it weeks ago or thought it too trivial to bother with.
the tories need a smart arse like Gove
and
a coulson, more versed in the darker arts.
As long as the man at the top has a degree of personal deniability that is.
12:59 PM
And whilst one is au sujet de...
I'm still pretty pissed off about the cabin crew member who referred to me as 'a golliwog supermodel'. In future, remember to slip in THE definite article honey and I may just simply purrrrr a little...Anyway, the term is just SO yesterday. It really does not suit me at all. I'm actually far more comfortable flying with carriers who know how to treat an ethically I mean ethnically embattled supericon. Take Sir Dick, for example. The man's cultivated a fine reputation for calling 'a spade a spade' and not a fucking limp chocolate innuendo. And I respect that. He's even gone to the trouble of installing a specially designed seat to cater for my special needs, away from all the ordinary passengers, with extra safety-straps, which he always kindly makes a point of securing with his very own hands. A nice personal touch, in my opinion. And a real gentleman into the bargain. To avoid any possible confusion he's also personalized my place with a classy brass name-plate, it reads: "Batty black bitch slap freaky fucking arse down here" (includes helpful directional arrow). Such a well-developed sense of humour too. And no surcharge neither.
Those in the media, like the political class, are drawn from the same ranks as us.
If they have all the delightful attributes Stan so enjoys enumerating it is because they are more or less representative of the kind of thing British schools and universities now produce.
It is the entire cesspit that is the problem, not just the turds that float on top.
"I'm still pretty pissed off about the cabin crew member who referred to me as 'a golliwog supermodel'."
Well chile, yuz look blacker dan coal duzt to mie...
Although you could make a fortune out of a picture of that regardless of follicle status.
fucking hell, the kkk cunts have learned how to use a keyboard!
fuck off you bnp spastics.
the lynchings will allocated according to the level of peoples' treachery, not the colour of their skins.
you nazi-nonces.
Read the report and would give it a C+(Ok but could have done better). No mention that I could see of the recent diaries from those close to him, snot picking, closing the post office in his home town etc etc
not good enough.
the ammunition is being given to the tories, but
'cloth-eared' coulson just isn't pulling the trigger.
coulson is a guttersnipe; fine with the broad strokes but very poor on detail.
just a shoe-polisher really.
note to cameron: things are falling apart. you really should get a withdrawal policy for Iraq ready because Obama's gonna walk it.
Anonymous tacitus said...
"Those in the media, like the political class, are drawn from the same ranks as us."
Those wankers. You're having a larf mate, innit?
Anonymous tacitus said...
"Those in the media, like the political class, are drawn from the same ranks as us."
Those wankers? You're having a larf mate, innit?
Speaking of which, did anyone else hear Ian Dale cosying up to the MSM on R5 Live today? (the Gabby Logan show). Dale was plugging a new political periodical he's publishing aimed at 'serious people'...they never learn do they?
I have uploaded the report to Scribd.
In this era of Social Networking the report deserves greater publication.
http://www.scribd.com/doc/3543658/gordon-brown-annual-report-june-2008
Also allows direct reading without download.
Dear Mr tacitus
There is something in what you say about a general, national temper of greed and self-absorption and the tyranny of consumerism having discoloured the idea of politics as public service but I don't think it's quite as bad as you claim - although it is nauseatng to see so many horrid little brainwashed teenage pricks waving their worthless A levels and talking their parents' scripts about careers and money and nothing else.
I think the balance of the argument would lie with Mr thick as thieves; almost axiomatically, the decent, modest, well-intentioned citizen is little heard among the greedy clamour of mouthy cunts like LittleJohn, Toilets Maguire and the slags in parliament, but decent people do exist and are not properly reflected or represented among parliamentarians. Surely we are not a nation of Keith Vazes, John Prescotts, David Camerons and Nick Cleggs.
As for stanislav enumerating at length the character defects of what Guido defines as the political-media nexus one mght be forgiven for assuming that such was the shared mission of all who here worship.
The entire cesspit you describe often, in truth, seems to be the reality, yet large numbers of people, young and old, opt-out, large numbers coalesce around single issues, eschewing the greedy dinosaurs of corrupt unrepresentative nineteenth century style political parties -why the fuck in this day and age are we still talking about Tories and Labour and Liberals as though they were popular mass movements and not tiny, vested interest elements of showbusiness, the phrase Parliamentray Democracy is uttered as though it were the only constant, the Word of God and not, in fact, a thieves' charter; we need more people to sidestep the MSM and Channel Dimbleby and get themselves elected, we need non-party animals in parliament and we need, for these current companies of thieves and degenerates to become acquainted with good, old fashioned Up against the wall, motherfuckerism. Save democracy, vote for anarchy.
Dear stanislav,
People are free to chose what paper they like. The paper the largest minority likes best is the Sun. The choice, of course, is as limited as it is dire, but it is indicative all the same. A nation ruled by mass movements will be a nation ruled with the insight, wisdom, courage, and foresight, of the Sun newspaper.
That the political process is fucked up beyond salvation is of course quite correct; what I am not so sure about is the notion of a pool of deeply moral and principled leaders waiting to take the place of the up-against-the-wall-motherfucked.
The reality is that such civilization as this country has was built at a time when the man in the street not only counted for little, but would not even dream of challenging the fact. Democracy does not build the elites on which true civilization depends, it is good only for motherfucking them down.
And the issue here is not whether we have elites - what would stanislav be without the high elizabethans that so obviously fertilized his writing style - but their nature and membership. Election to the elite now requires no distinction in any of the qualities someone only two decades ago would recognize, let alone from the time when this country could still call itself great. That is the real and irreparable tragedy.
Dear Mr tacitus
Thank you. That's very depressing.
Spontaneous popular movements have, though, wrought change for the good, if we can agree such a term; moveable type and the spread of literacy wrenched some power, at least, from the noncing monsignors and their counterparts; similarly, the spread of the photocopier and the facsimile transmission device assisted, enabled Samizdat in the USSR; World warriors returning from both the Somme and the Normandy beaches demanded and secured some improvements to the lives of the majority, despite the well-entrenched vested interests of the then-ruling political castes; our brief conversation, conducted from wherever we are located, is a phenomenal, unprecedented development in uncontrolled communication and millions, billions, I don't know, trillions of such exchanges occur outside the traditional mainstream every day.
The great Polish futurist and media scholar, Professor Marsall McLuhan said, in the seventies, that, inter alia, in an age of electronic communication minority groups could no longer be suppressed; that, of course, is a double-edged can of worms hanging over our heads, the Devil, clearly, on balance and in a very real sense, as ever, in the detail but virtual communities, such as this - bilious, sceptical, dissenting, rioutous, profane and scatalogical -enable a dialogue of sorts far outside the control of the ghastly Murdoch and his slags, and all the rest. This is a new medium of mass communication, in which the readership, totally unlike the passive, manipulated newspaper reader, provides the vast majority of what is read and what is read is read contemporaneously all around the world. This is a massive development in human communication before which nothing - save Gutenberg - bears comparison. One day you may hear that someone in Zambia or Australia thoroughly agreed with what you say to me, tonight, and was motivated by it. I didn't actually posit a pool of noble potential leaders, just some not quite so rotten as Keith Vaz and his chums, a few people like the Wyre Forest doctor bloke in Westminster and the senior citizens' party MSP in the last Holyrood parliament, anybody really who is not ina aparyty, climbing an oxymoronic political career ladder, eh ? That would be an improvement.
.
While not disagreeing for a moment with your analysis of Sun-reading, Richard and Judy, Big Brother House Britain nor with your blistering contempt for its undistinguished, shallow and worthless politicians I do feel that the bottle is half-full; the game is still worth the candle. I suspect that if you didn't at least occasionally agree, you wouldn't be here.
Thank you Stan and Mr. T. you give us hope.
So Gordon is fucked as is the labour party but they still have 2 years in which to entrench their fuckedupness.
Just imagine for a moment what might have been had Brown shouted down the EU constitution in favour of his beloved ' Britishness '
"YOU SHALL NOT PASS !"
Fantasy I know but by now he would have been a national hero, what a losing cunt he is but, more to the point, Dave; when are you going to promise us our referendum because it has yet to be ratified and can Still be reversed.
Brown is still quite acceptable for looking after peoples' children.That proves to me his snot-gobling video hasn't been seen widely.Maybe more viral videos or a stunt so tv have to show it properly?Youtube isn't 'true' the main channels are purveyors of 'true'.
Not brownies as in the expression "I'm gonna strangle a brownie."?
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