Why Fake a Toff When You Have a Real One Available?
The Labour Party's efforts in Crewe and Nantwich to paint the local candidate as a "Tory Toff" required them to dress up a couple of Young Socialists in top hats and parade them around as fake toffs in an Andy Coulson style gimmick. Seems all of a bit of a waste of time when not far away they have a real Toff of their own they could have used. Step forward Mark Fisher, Labour MP for Stoke-on-Trent, the Eton and Oxbridge educated son of a Tory MP is a gent to his finger-tips.
He would never have committed the faux-pas of wearing a grey topper either...
62 comments:
Also: how can Boris be a libertarian hedonist when he's banning booze on the tube?
Why Fake a Toff When You Have A Real One Available?
A taste of things to come.
Christ, he's a scary looking fucker: not Austrian by any chance? Which reminds me - Austrian journalist asks neighbour about Alice in the cellar: 'Alice? Alice? Who the fuck is Alice? You mean to tell me I've been living twenty years next to Alice? Gott in himmel.'
Step forward Mark Fisher, Labour MP for Stoke-on-Trent
Does he know Gary Elsby? I'll bet they have a good old chin wag down the boozer on a Friday night.
Why all this fuss about Eton? It's only a Slough Comp after all.
if it were possible to gather all of the people who have built the Labour Party/ies since 1893 into one - smallish - room,* and then throw half a brick into it, chances are you would hit an oxbridge-educated ex-public schoolboy. Throw two and you'd probably bag an Old Etonian.
*some degree of resurrection would be necessary, obviously. And you'd probably throw quite a few half-bricks. So, ultimately, it would be a bit of an exercise in futility.
Aren't Grey Toppers worn in the morning?
That's not Mark Fisher, that's fucking Max Wall
http://www.moviemarket.co.uk/library/photos/174/174308.jpg
"Aren't Grey Toppers worn in the morning?"
No, in Labour's case they're worn in mourning...
Wasnt there a brand of toupee's called
CROWN TOPPERS?
If so this slaphead could be their "before" poster boy
Judge Elvis, surely Mr Fisher has instead modelled himself on 70s Stand-up Comic Mick Miller?
http://www.floralpavilion.co.uk/images/mick%20miller.jpg
And just what relation to Danny DeVito is he exactly...?
Mark Fisher is awesome.
(Angry note) This is so pathetic; do they seriously think the electorate will be impressed?
(Sad note) We've just missed the 355th anniversary of an oft-quoted speech but it's worthy of repetition, even if he wasn't very nice to the Irish (sorry Guido):
"It is high time for me to put an end to your sitting in this place, which you have dishonored by your
contempt of all virtue, and defiled by your practice of every vice; ye are a factious crew, and
enemies to all good government; ye are a pack of mercenary wretches, and would like Esau sell
your country for a mess of pottage, and like Judas betray your God for a few pieces of money.
Is there a single virtue now remaining amongst you? Is there one vice you do not possess? Ye have
no more religion than my horse; gold is your God; which of you have not barter'd your conscience
for bribes? Is there a man amongst you that has the least care for the good of the Commonwealth?
Ye sordid prostitutes have you not defil'd this sacred place, and turn'd the Lord's temple into a den
of thieves, by your immoral principles and wicked practices? Ye are grown intolerably odious to the
whole nation; you were deputed here by the people to get grievances redress'd, are yourselves gone!
So! Take away that shining bauble there, and lock up the doors. In the name of God, go!"
Come on DC - where are your speech-writers?
Hang on, DC's from Oxford (and therefore a royalist) whereas Cromwell (the speech writer)and the New Model Army were from Cambridge. So DC is hardly likely to say such things.
Thinking of Cambridge I can't see Clegg organising a NMA. Possibly a p**s-up in a brewery, providing Vince shows him how to do it.
Oh, by the way, for all you from the 'Free state, 'bye-bye' Bertie.
Christ, he's a scary looking fucker
A dead ringer for Michael Ironside in Scanners. Maybe Labour's new strategy is to use rogue psychics to explode the skulls of opposition candidates?
Here's a link to an interesting new poll about Gordon Brown:-
http://snappoll.com/poll/268560.php
OT-we had a talk at work lunchtime on politicians who never reached no 10-Heseltine,Howe ,Healy,Woy Jenkins,David Owen etc.
The conclusion was-how the hell did we end up with Snottie McTwat?
Fucking hell what an ugly man.
Mark Fisher, unlike most MPs, has done something worthwhile. His book on museums and galleries is more use than all the brit art, arts council, arts lobby stuff all put together. Is he on the correct side of the house?
Anywhere I can get a breakdown of Eton/public school Liebour MPs? Pardon my ignorance but is Fettes old boy bliar still an MP?
goodnightviennasaysweareneithernumbersnorsheeple @ 2.48pm You are a worthless cunt.
You are obviously from Camberidgeshire, probably St. Ives; those who dwell in that pissbag of a market town never stop wanking on about Cromwell either.
Cromwell was a fucking whinge bag worthless rotten cock-end. The man tried to ban Cricket for fuck's own sake. The only good thing about him was that he hated the royals as much as he hated every other fucking thing.
Just because you live in a place so small that nothing, other than a little light beastiality, ever happens stop tugging your mince over a guy who was so maligned by the size of his own tiny dick that he decided to ransack the entire country in the most totalitarian way. Otherwise, following the same precedent, the fucking barking jocks from Kircaldy won't shut the fuck up for the next 355 years.
Oh and if its his oratory prowess you're so fucking wowed by, I'm sure Stalin and Hitler probably wrote some similar hum-dingers but its not often they get recited is it? You fuck-bag. Its a shame we're not celebrating the 355th anniversary. You cunt.
I'm with judge elvis on this one .... this is a reincarnation of Max Miller .... Mick Miller was just a poor substitute who traded on the name & hairstyle !
Bliar is now MP for the Chiltern Hundreds ... basically a dusty old parliamentary mechanism for an MP's resignation.
I can't say I normally approve of comb-overs, however in this case ...
(Speaking as a baldy one's self)
I'm told that gary elsby is his constituency secretary and that he speaks highly of fisher. seems odd that someone who reckons he's a proper labour person should speak up for a toff.
Isn't he Shaun Woodward's butler?
Mark Fisher is intelligent and erudite; and unlike the hordes of mass-produced Labour-bots who infest the back-benches, he appears to have a fully functional brain that is capable of producing original thoughts.
He also looks like Marillion guitarist Steve Rothery.
"MP for the Chiltern Hundreds"? No such position. He is Steward of the Chiltern Hundreds, an office of profit under the Crown (the holding of which automatically disqualifies him from the position of MP).
Isn't it jolly when Harrovians get together and rag the Eton boys?
Remind us of the last harrovian to be in the Cabinet. Was it Bill Deedes or John Profumo? (Portillo doesn't count, of course).
Oh a real horny-handed son of the sod; Wiki entry: " He married Ingrid Geach Hunt in 1971 and their four children include musician Crispin Hunt and actresses India Fisher and Francesca Hunt." Crispin and India!
None of the above - it was probably Keith Joseph
Wow! No wonder I've always cheered on the Light Blues. Thank you anon @ 2.59. I must be a sheeple after all. Oliver Cromwell, Man of the Sheeple doesn't quite have the same ring though.
Phoenix Park @ 3.31 I have only one thing to say you mean-spirited, foul-mouthed person - Goodnight Vienna still thinks it was a wonderful speech.
Treasury gives up...
from the Times:
The Treasury said that it was consulting businesses to work through the details of the proposals. “There has been a lot of over-reaction; the fears are really overcooked. We don’t agree that there has been an erosion in the competitiveness of our tax system . . . but we can never compete with tax havens like Ireland.”
Chris said...
"Judge Elvis, surely Mr Fisher has instead modelled himself on 70s Stand-up Comic Mick Miller?"
Comic? Wasn't he a greyhound?
Actually one of the "tory toffs" involved in the stunt probably dressed in his own clothes - he's a former Manchester Grammar School pupil who grew up in Hale Barns where multi-millionaire footballers and soap stars of Manchester reside.
It's not Eton and Oxbridge, but it's certainly more toff-like than the ordinary voters in Crewe and Nantwich.
Crispin Hunt? Isn't that fisher's researcher? India? Isn't she the girl off dead ringers? One of them is a full blown smack head who was in a rock group.
Any proppa toff kno that the "grey" top hat is known as a White hat, as opposed to the black silk version.
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Eamonn
Eamonn who?
Eamonn old Etonian
why is stewardship of the chilton hundreds considered to be an office of profit under the crown (although not paid) so disqualifying the holder from being an mp but fudging/ripping off expenses and allowances and employing your family etc and all paid from the public ie taxpayer's pocket is allowed to all mp's ?
For Heaven's sake don't engage the Labour Party in their own idea of class war, c 5.00pm Fromage. The theme from this thread seems to want to bring back Grammar Schools.
Sorry to be so unfunny and not obscene - I look forward to brighter days and look to this forum to expand my vocabulary.
In the meantime, what are the chances of Grammar Schools making a come-back?
You really ought to think again DC.
Cromwell banned cricket? Well, he has just gone up another notch in my estimation.
St Ives is a nice little place too.
Speaking of Grey Toppers have you all seen Paxman's hair since he returned from holiday it's bouffant like a grey Melvyn Bragg
HH
PHUUCK ME!
What an ugly cunt. Is he related to Wee Wendy, the Scotch windbag? He's just as ugly.
I think this bloke used to be CoCo the Clown. He looks squint-eyed and scary without the clown slap - wouldn't trust him with me kids, innit?
Please Guido, allow me one more comment - unless you think I'm shovelling shit on a dying man - To Phoenix: please foad and I wish that all your ilk will follow suit.
Sorry to be so partisan but you must understand, I am just a voter, not an MP or a lobbyist nor any member of a quango.
To Socialists: We beat you then and we'll beat you now. We don't want you so go and try it somewhere else.
"Ugly cunts and partisan arseholes" beside I wish/hope that our representatives will not sell us into the EU. You may think we are weak but we are not.
Anon @ 3:19
I don't know of a full breakdown of the entire PLP, but I did construct a breakdown of the education of the Cabinet and Shadow Cabinets, here:
http://remittanceman.blogspot.com/2008/04/education-of-politicians.html
I had to do it by hand checking each MP's wiki page and sometimes doing a search of the schools mentioned. I can't vouch for it being 100% accurate, but I thinks it's pretty damned close.
Well well well Guido, what can any of us say? It seems we should hold our breath and wait for a return of the puritans judging by the support that they seem to have drummed up here.
To all Cromwell supporters everywhere: I wish you an eternity under puritan rule; no sport, no music, no nothing apart from the myriad persecutions and unchanging banalities that the ethos thrives upon, much like Brown's student-socialist ideals. Good luck with your soul crippling regime gentlemen. Perhaps you should read a history book before exhaulting dead public figures.
p.s.goodnightviennasaysweareneithernumbersnorsheeple - polite enough for you?
p.p.s. There is no way I can bring myself to say anything nice about the mobility-scooter centre that is St. Ives.
anon@4:39 ...
you're a pedantic tosser ...
"In the name of God, go! "
Wasn't that the gist of Mr. Heseltines lofty rant as he swung the Parliamentary mace, Tarzan style ?
I am no Cromwell apologist but it was a fine speech, copies of which should perhaps be delivered by motorcycle courier to each and every Labour MP.
"Ye are grown intolerably odious to the whole nation. In the name of God, go! "
Thank you for reminding us of it Goodnightvienna...
10 Downing Street was toff-free for thirty three years (1964-1997). All five of the Prime Ministers in that period (3 Con, 2 Lab) were grammar school products.
Labour’s Tony Blair (Fettes College) thus re-established the rule of traditional elites within the executive office.
This state of affairs may have arisen partly from the work of Labour theorist and intellectual, Tony Crosland ("If there's one thing I do, I will smash every fucking grammar school in the country"). Crosland had attended Highgate School and Trinity College, Oxford.
Odd fellow.
Is his hair naturally like that or was it some prank.
I see you've decided to see the light and speak up for Stoke-on-Trent, Guido.Excellent.
You are seriously wasting your time if you are attempting to turn Mark Fisher over as he is genuinley a good guy and certainly speaks for the area.
Mark's voting pattern as far as I can see is as close to the reality on the ground as I can see, hear or find.
When I hear derogatory remarks sent the way of the rebel or serial rebel, as I sometimes read, it is not so much as agreeing or disagreeing with that view, but more of what fellow CLPs are up to.
Mark has it spot on for Stoke and Stoke is exceptionally loyal to him in return.
He is a wonderful charming man and is a pleasure to be around.
I'm told he attended the same school as Dave and Gideon, so what went wrong?
Gary
Nu lab are bunch of nasty lowlife scum
Toffs , whats wrong with Toffs. Its sniffy sanctimonious snobby cnuts like Toynbee and her shit does not stink posse which inclides the Yazz monster and that fat arsed bitch from the fast show who name thankfully escapes me at present
What inverted snobbery is going on here, these people are below contempt, smug shites.
And the Labour candidate in Crewe and Nantwich is most likely an hereditary politician on both sides, grand-daughter of an enobled party secretary, who attended an elite voluntary-aided school. Up the meritocracy!
Why didn't they draft King Newt?
Perhaps you could concentrate on the Suffragette links to Gwyneth. Her Mother? Grandmother(s)?
Gary are you insane or are you playing at being insane.
gary,
you are toiling so much that soon your back will break. the new labour war party is stealing food from the poor. never mind your poxy history references, tell us your views on gordon brown picking the pockets of the poor.
I think the press are doing what they said they would do.
The perception of stealing from the poor goes only as far as the poor themselves.
Bright and intelligent people like me and you(?) know that it is a total lie.
Dave is living this lie and so is the Tory party.
It's up to people like me to persuade my MP to put pressure on the bookworm and make him explain why they (the poorest of the poor) are better off in this truth and how Dave will source them for cuts.
Gordon has the support of the Party and we shouldn't be too worried of men who wear mascara and stand in huddled corners worrying about socialism (its introduction).
Always remember, we, the party, are in a place not of our choosing. We want to be of the left, for the left.
It's our insurance policy for when toffs get a little too big for their station. Be warned, it will be you who foots the bill and not I.
Comrade Gary
but you must know that 40% of people entitled to tax credits do not claim them. the reason is the complexity of the claim form. also the government fucks up so many calculations that the system actually causes hardship rather than relieving it.
you seem to feel no shame whatsoever that your leader, gordon brown, is stealing food from the tables of the poor.
gary elsby you are a complete and utter cunt.
I will not call you a spastic because to do so would be to insult every decent spastic in this country.
you're a fucking zombie flesh eater elsby.
prepare to be dispatched you cunt.
I really really really don't know where Tories are coming from.
I hear nothing about Gordon going or Coups taking place or stalking horses.
That is the stuff of Tories (rejected ones means all)and not the way to run a Country.
You have a PATSY running London and that's the best you can do.
So please go away and contemplate suicide.
Gary
gary,
you see that is exactly your party's main problem. you are so busy sticking your nose into other people's business that you fail to take care of your own.
you really are a dopey cunt.
oh, and as you have raised the subject; it is gordon brown who is writing the longest and most comprehensive suicide note in british poitical history.
you fucking imbecile.
what a wanker!
Ah, Gary Elsby. You've got to laugh haven't you.
A very public sociologist:
What a cunt.
It took me less than five seconds to find out that this is the Socialist Revoloutionary Workers Party.
Sometimes called the Socialist Workers Party (still cunts)
tend to call themselves the Socialist Party.
I fucked this load of shite up in 2007.
This bunch of cunts cant see that on that my leaflet the Tories are all ex Labour Councillors and the Indeendents are all ex labour Councillors. Shithouses.
The 'Socialist party' supported working miners who broke the strike and waved pay packets as they drove through picket lines.
I killed the 'Socialist Party' stone dead for this tactic that they did not openly know about. I informed them of this gaffe and they ran off.
Their new tactic is to threaten me with court action for calling their fat cunt candidate a 'communist terrorist'. I've no idea whether this fat twat is either a communist or a terrorist, but I do know that he is a fat cunt, a fat twat and a strike breaking shithouse. i apologise for being coy about my feelings of their 'socialist' candidate.
The SRWP (wankers) are a bunch of shithouses who I totally fucked up.
They are busying themselves inside and infiltrating the Post Office union and pushing for strike action.
I find it quite amusing that the BNP and this shithouse organisation put my whole campaign up on their websites. Why me? You could ask.
The answer to that is because they run scared of my campaigning and know I will do them.
My application went into the Crewe offices and I await the outcome of the by election.
Gary
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