Guy Fawkes' blog of parliamentary plots, rumours and conspiracy: Rich & Mark's Monday Morning View
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Monday, May 5, 2008

Rich & Mark's Monday Morning View

59 comments:

Prodicus said...

Brilliant. They gotta learn to spell, though

mitch said...

well it is Monday so a relaunch it has to be,wonder what the policy dejour will be perhaps a buffet of bullshit or a menu of meaninglessness.If you miss this one another will be along shortly yawn!!.

wonder what "event" will scupper this pointless fiasco.

tachybaptus said...

Like a relaunch, but leaving U out of it?

brian t said...

"relanche"? Is that French? 8-/

Jon said...

To the tune of Queen, Flash

(If I had the time I would make and upload a youtube video for this)


Crash Gordon

Crash - ah - Saviour of the UK
Crash - ah - He'll save ev'ry one of us
- Seemingly there is no reason for Donorgate
- Extraordinary political upsets
- What's happening Crash ?
- Only Doctor Guido Fawkes formerly at NME
- Has provided any explanation

Crash - ah - he's a miracle
- This morning's unprecedented newspaper headlines
- Is no cause for alarm
Crash - ah - king of the impossible
He's for ev'ry one of us
Spend for ev'ry one of us
He'll spend with a mighty hand
Ev'ry man ev'ry woman ev'ry child
With a mighty housepricecrash
- General Cameron, Crash Gordon approaching
- What do you mean Crash Gordon approaching?
- Open fire - all spokespersons
- Despatch George Osborne to bring back his body

Crash - ah
- Gordon's alive!
Crash - ah - he'll pauper ev'ry one of us
Just a man with Mr Bean's courage
He knows nothing but spin
But he can never be held responsible
No one but the sycophantic in heart
May find any truth of late
Oh oh - oh oh
- Crash Crash I love you
- but we only have fourteen hours to save the UK

Crash

---
Jon

Anonymous said...

How will Labour "listen to the electorate" - even more snooping ?
May 4, 2008 6:54 AM

http://p10.hostingprod.com/@spyblog.org.uk/blog/2008/05/how-will-labour-listen-to-the-electorate-even-more-snooping.html

Is worth reading!

The Pedant's Apprentice said...

"Relanch"?

gareth said...

Brown dithered too long when asked 'Tits or face?'.

Anonymous said...

relanch? is this dialect?

Anonymous said...

Glad to see London's pigeons adding their comment

BREAKING NEWS said...

Brown now supports a referendum.

Kwizikl said...

Did you hear the Brown stuff with Boulton
"I know the pain of rising food prices and fuel and utility bills..."
What The Fuck!!!!!!!
He doesn't pay any of them...
Food allowances - Travel allowances - Houses bought - mortgages paid for. Wasn't he the cunt that billed the taxpayer for his TV licence???
Yeah , I am sure he was the cunt.
It might have been another cunt , but you get my point.
He's a cunt.

new game - spot gary elsby said...

Here is a game for you to play, it's called spot Gary Elsby in the short video, i recon he's the little bloke at the end?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/7381327.stm

gary banned? said...

Is it true Gary is banned Guido?

here are his claims -

http://adamboulton.typepad.com/my_weblog/2006/07/mps_end_of_term.html

mirthios said...

..and, after that, a relaunch perhaps?

Scroblene said...

"Relanch"...sounds like some kit out of an Ikea catalogue...but describes something equally depressing, badly cobbled together, unimaginitive and eventually chucked out for something better!

CROWN said...

Harriet Harperson sets the tax record straight

http://thecrownblogspot.blogspot.com/2008/05/harriet-harperson-to-rescue.html

Tuscan Tony said...

I read the other day that a "Josef Fritzl" is Austrian patois for "British Prime Minister in the final days of his unelected rule".

Now that is a remarkable coincidence.

justoneglass said...

A good match for Darling's eyebrows - wouldn't they look sweet together?

peeved said...

classic! great start to the day.

Anonymous said...

I see Gordon's grand relanch is the dumping of the Bin Bag tax.

What is it with Gordon and plastic Bags and Why doesn't the silly twat do what the rest of us do and use supermarket carrier bags as freebie trash bags?

Anonymous said...

Relanch - what a fcking cnt!

Anonymous said...

The nulab conspiritor, having stolen the identity of the Labour Party is now considering hi-jacking blonde politics

Anonymous said...

That bloody scotch (yes,scotch)bastard feels our pain? How? On £250,000 a year with all bills paid by us? How much more of this can the English take? Are they all masochists?

Anonymous said...

AArgh!, I have heard the answer to Stalin mcBean is going to get out of this mess. A jocklish-accented nulab apologist wants to hear what the Conservatives would do in this situation. Great to copy and claim the credit. Yes/No?

i hate labour said...

I love the Boris wig! As for "relanch", I read that as phonetic Snotgobbler accent, just as his jaw does that schools visit weird chop drop, "Cam here wee little boy". Priceless!

The Beast Of Clerkenwell said...

Well as the Sun is shining again chances are the miserable twat hasnt come up with a new set of platitues to bore us to death with.

"Child poverty, the weakest members of our society, africa, world class, sound econimy, growth....... blah de blah

At least Bliar used to piss off holiday all the time and leave us alone.

Andrew said...

If I were a Conservative, which I am not. I would really take heart at every snide remark against my politicians and party. Weak nice remarks would upset me, but virulent angry remarks would cheer me up.

Come on, let's stop being stupid about this and try to avoid giving the Tories any satisfaction that we are hurting.

Anonymous said...

Gordon Brown sounds and behaves like the character that Ricky Gervais played (David Brent - the Regional Manager based at the Slough Office of Wernham Hogg) in the BBC comedy series "The Office"

Which says it all really!!!!.

javelin said...

Crewe on May 22 is a short enough time frame for the negative-emotions to still be running high in the party, and a long enough time frame to give Gordon a chance to re-re-re-re-launch. So I think he will be critically assessed on the results.

If Brown wins the Crew election he will have [a minor] claim to having a successful re-re-re-re-launch. Although it will of course be no such thing. This will keep New Labour grumbling over the summer, but I think the Party will be forced to back him all the way to the election.

If he loses the Crew election Brown will hope to hang on until the summer when he can launch yet another re-launch at then conference.

Talking of re-re-re-re-lauching. It's fun to look at the analogy with re-re-re-re-heating food and getting food poison. A quick google says

"it's not actually the reheating that's the problem" "food poisoning usually occurs as a result of inadequate cooling and reheating"

I think I would agree with this - that the problem with Brown's relaunching is not the quantity of relaunches but that they lack any ferocity - to kill the poison in the party. Let's face it 95% of the electorate don't even notice any of his relaunches.

Because Brown lacks any backbone he's not going to have a heated relaunch and by the time of the next election the meat will be poisonous, dried up, look inedible and the electorate is not going to take the risk of eating it.

had enough of that useless twat brown said...

It's not another relaunch we want from you Gordo, we want you to go and go now.

Go on fuck off you bent, useless, snoteating, Stalinist, arsehole. Get the fuck out of here now, we're sick of the fucking sight of you.

Anonymous said...

How many relanches is Gordon going to be allowed to attempt? After yesterday's embarrassment, isn't it obvious to even the most blinkered of NuLabour that Gordon is not fit for purpose?

I am not sure if Boulton meant to actually say "Youngsters and Pygmies" but that is what Gordon has done, he's purposely surrounded himself with those least likely to overthrow him.

Anonymous said...

Bad news for both the Tories and NuLabour.

Miss Great Britain, Gemma Garrett, is standing in the Crewe and Nantwich by-election.

She said: "I want British politicians to be sexy not sleazy."

tapestry said...

If Scotland's permitted a referendum. So should England and ROUK be.

BrianSJ said...

Ref. The Scottish Referendum. 1:53 am
Readers will be pleased to hear that the article says:
"Mr Brown is cautious about backing a referendum. However, The Scotsman understands the Prime Minister has not made a decision on the issue yet."
So Mavis still dithering.
The comments in the link at 1:53 link to http://tinyurl.com/44hp8m where the PM of Scotland is angling to more oil money. Since the Treasury uses $35 a barrel as its planning price, I think that the Scots would be prepared to pay that to England for their share of Scottish oil.
Your list of woe woe woe for GB needs to have Alec Salmond at or very near the top. That is where he intends to be until Independence Day.

Anonymous said...

What's his name, Flash Gordon, Gordon the Engine, Gordon the Gofer, dosen't seem to matter what he calls himself he just looks and behaves the same.
Why was Tony B'Liar always grinning exposing his pearly whites? so that he can lie through his teeth.

Anonymous said...

Relaunch? Reburied himself going on his performances on the TV yesterday. He is a twat. The country knows it . Unfortunately his ego does not let him see it. The chap looks complete knackered. It must be hard not being able to visit public toilets for some relief now that he is in the limelight.

If we were given a vote on who our leader was we would not be in the trouble

Guido Fawkes said...

The relanch cartoon has now been relaunched. Thanks.

the cunt of cuntingchester said...

Kwizikl:

"Yeah , I am sure he was the cunt.
It might have been another cunt , but you get my point.
He's a cunt."

Excellent use of the word cunt Sir. He is indeed a cunt. A cunt of the highest order. The cunt is; a fucking cunt.

tonemcd said...

Brown needs to stay on till the bitter end, either that or you'll have to put a fag-end to his arse, leech-like, to remove him.

He needs to stay so that it's plainly clear that NuLabour/Socialist politics and forms of government have no place in the modern world.

Horrible to say, but the economy needs to be looking even worse than it does now before people really equate Socialism with abject incompetence.

ZaNuLabour have done a great job at having a client-base dependent on having ZaNuLabour in power (Tax credits, grants, funding for 'special projects' etc). It's similar to Thatcher's "share and house ownership" plan to get the electorate owning a stake in the country, but of course in this case, ZaNuLabour own a stake in them.

ZaNuLabour have done one other fantastic job since they've been in power - they have once and for all destroyed the myth that public services were crap because they didn't have the right level of funding. The NHS has a budget of almost 100 billion pounds a year.

Note to Cameron: When you're in power (May 6, 2010), might I suggest the following;
1. Commission to examine all legislation over last 13 years, identify encroachment on ancient civil liberties and repeal it.
2. Sunset laws; one law made, two laws repealed
3. Flat-tax, across the board - start with something reasonable, like 20% and then drop it year-on-year to 15% or lower. Noone should pay tax on the first 10-15,000 pounds of earnings
4. Education vouchers - let parents decide where to have their children taught, not 'social engineers'
5. Compulsory health insurance, with proper markets within the NHS.
6. Points-based immigration system, all potential immigrants must be able to speak/write English and apply from country of origin
7. Vote on the EU

In other words, think freedom and responsibility.

I'm not a Conservative, preferring Libertarian viewpoints, but I recognize that Cameron is the best bet for getting rid of this lot. He may even be the guy that finally puts the stake in the heart of Socialism in this country.

tonemcd said...

Re: Crewe and Nantwich - compare and contrast;

Tamsin Dunwoody - http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00245/NEWmissBelfast1_245466d.jpg

Gemma Garrett - http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/42857000/jpg/_42857377_tamsin_203.jpg

Another shoe-in for ZaNuLabour then!

Anonymous said...

Gordo should try a blond Boris wig for his next relaunch. It'll make him look younger - less grey hair. Gordo looks so old, tired and worn out compared to Cameron, Boris and Clegg.

Anonymous said...

Fuck Jon ...that Crash Gordon written to the tune of Flash Gordon is ace!!

It should be worked into a Youtube presentation.

Excellent Sir!

tonemcd said...

8. Sort out Al-JaBeeba

Anonymous said...

Tonemcd [10.41]

Seconded!

tonemcd said...

More spin from Al-JaBeeba;


Gordon Brown is considering how to deal with grumbles from his own backbenchers after Labour's disastrous showing in the local elections.


grumbles??? Panic might be a better term - panic as they see the gravy train leaving the station...

Anonymous said...

tonemcd

You got your links the wrong way round.

Gemma Garrett Beauties for Britain party

Tamsin Dunwoody Labour Party


Eric Pickles may have an easy job persuading people not to vote for Dunwoody but he'll have his work cut out stopping them voting for Gemma in preference to Edward Timpson Conservative Party

Slim Jim said...

I object to the excessive use of the 'C' word on this site. It really does not set a good example in the blogosphere. How about 'Brown is a female genitalia in the vernacular?' It doesn't have quite the same ring about it, does it?...

Anonymous said...

ELSBY NOT MISSING HERE THEN (from todays Sky Boulton Blog)...

Jon, your logic is therefore that Nepotism is the winning formula?

If so, then it should be obvious to everyone that Dave should be dropped and carol Thatcher railroaded in.

Bingo!

The Labour Party doesn't believe in Nepotism and the best person won the contest.

The Labour Party has been totally fantastic lately and I can find three people to back me up.One in Liverpool, one in Torquay and someone who died two years ago.

Gordon has got it spot on and Harriet gets it right everyday.

Long live Labour.

Gary

Posted by: Gary Elsby stoke 5 May 2008 10:07:54
==============================
And in addition there is further unctonrolled verbiage elsewher on this Guido site, so i guess he aint banned! (Why do that when he is great entertainment!)

Anonymous said...

Did I hear him right yesterday?

He had a rant in his interview with Andrew Marr about how he'd had to get inflation under control after being handed a bust economy in 1997 by the Tories!

The man is delusional! (or a liar).

He was handed one of the fittest economies in the world in 1997 after the battle with inflation was won. Beating inflation had nothing to do with Comrade Brown.......

Time the Tories stuck this smelly little piggy on his propensity to try Stalinist rewrites of economic history.

Jon said...

Annonymous May 5, 2008 10:53 AM

Thanks very much for your postive comments on my Queen Flash/Crash Gordon Lyrics!

Listen and watch the Queen version and sing-a-long using my lyrics

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wNf9rEPoc8Q

Works well.

Truth is, that I had scripted it months back and have never gotten around to a youtube attempt of a remix for it.

I don't think that I have the time nor the audio and video editing skills to do a good remix of this.

However if anyone does do it, please just acknowledge me ("Jon") posting on http://www.order-order.com/
for the lyrics.

You saw it here first.

Let's all be careful what we wish for....because I think if Crash Gordon remains as PM/"leader" then there is far greater chance that Nulabour will be booted-out big time at the next UK election. I really hope that there is something remaining of the UK worth trying to "govern" after that time.

Cheers
Jon

vern the vernacularist said...

Slim Jim said...

"I object to the excessive use of the 'C' word on this site."

V says....

Don't you get it?

The man's a cunting cunt of a cunt's cunt.

Simple really.

Anonymous said...

A BOGEY IS A BOGEY NO MATTER HOW YOU PRESENT IT.

OR AN AFFLICTION...ha!

A_ FLICK ION see Flick...? aww forget it.

mitch said...

Gordon never did write that thank you letter to Ken clark for the state of the economy in 97.For two years he followed Tory spending then he really opened the taps and behold the mess he created.
Prudence my arse had he died in office and not been replaced we would all be better off.

How long would nulab have lasted if snotty had won the leadership in 94.

gildedtumbrils said...

May I say what a delight it is to read the 'courser' comments on your blog. I myself would never stoop so low,except to say that the Broon creature is a one-eyed,slack-jawed,nail- biting,snot-gobbling hunchbacked Scottish bastard who has alienated virtually the whole country.Nothing he can do will change things. He is doomed.
The prospect of Millipede or Jack Spliff becoming Prime Monster is also anathema.
I curse them all down the corridors of hell for an eternity.

the cunt of cuntingchester said...

vern the vernacularist said...

'Don't you get it?

The man's a cunting cunt of a cunt's cunt.

Simple really.'

Very well said Sir. Cunt have put it better myself, though I am going to have a try. Gordon, you baggy eyed, jowley fucking non entity of a cunt. A proper cunts cunt if ever there was such a cunting thing as a non entity cunt. CUNT!

gordonsanitaire said...

Jon writes:

Crash - ah - Saviour of the UK
Crash - ah - He'll save ev'ry one of us
- Seemingly there is no reason for Donorgate
- Extraordinary political upsets
- What's happening Crash ?
- Only Doctor Guido Fawkes formerly at NME
- Has provided any explanation


Very funny!

Why waste your vote on tribal doctrine? said...

Sky has just realised that top Totty is stannding for Crewe and Nantwich.
Why Miss Great Britain Wants Your Vote

Anonymous said...

Guido- there is a Employment Tribunal going on in Birmingham. The allegations, which seem to be well founded, are that from the time you get onto Incapacity benefit there is a conspiracy to kepp people on the benefit. Of a 100% arriving at preliminary evaluation, 70 automatically get the benefit (regardless of health condition) and then, of the further 30 left, the doctors are told to pass 70%. That leaves a probable 9, of which half or more get their benefit on appeal. The remaining 4 do the loop and within a few months are back on the IB. Doctors who dont conform are pressured until they do, with "extra teaching" and "seminars" to show how they can avoid complaints, or replaced with more malleable nurses. Because surprisingly, people who lose their benefit complain and the Govt doesnt want complaints! Worth looking into?


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