POSITION VACANT
Our client, a large scale public sector operator, is seeking a new head of operations. Candidates must be able to deal sensitively with an under pressure CEO in a highly stressful environment and willing to be on-call 24-hours a day.
The enterprise is heavily indebted with declining revenue and critical solvency issues that make it an exciting opportunity in the growing area of sub-prime credit risk. The ideal candidate will be expected to personally underwrite any credit risk. Facing increasing competitive threats which have eroded market share from first to third place, the ideal candidate will be able to enthuse a demoralised and disappointed workforce. Job may require occasional liason with law enforcement officers.
The job is suitable for someone with experience of turning around failing organisations. Pay is limited, based in London.
Interested parties should contact Mr G. Brown, Listening Leader of the Labour Party, C/O Downing Street, London SW1.
The enterprise is heavily indebted with declining revenue and critical solvency issues that make it an exciting opportunity in the growing area of sub-prime credit risk. The ideal candidate will be expected to personally underwrite any credit risk. Facing increasing competitive threats which have eroded market share from first to third place, the ideal candidate will be able to enthuse a demoralised and disappointed workforce. Job may require occasional liason with law enforcement officers.
The job is suitable for someone with experience of turning around failing organisations. Pay is limited, based in London.
Interested parties should contact Mr G. Brown, Listening Leader of the Labour Party, C/O Downing Street, London SW1.
34 comments:
The mobile phone bill is pretty expensive too.
Jenny - the transvetite jimmy hill - off the Apprentice would be the ideal candidate.
I'll do it. The book deal will pay for it all and then some. Plus the ringside seat at the greatest tragedy (it would be a comedy but for the damage Gobshite and Slavour have done to so many people) of modern times. Plus I could just mong about on the web all day like so many other labour groupies. And payed through taxes wrenched from the poor - just like a tory. Fan-fucking-tastic.
Plus I could do it from Italy where I may be a guest of the government there!
Come on you gotch eyed slack jawed hypocrite - I'm your man. But no inappropriate contact - stick to Balls for that.
'I can do that' 'Gi'us a job? 'Go on gi'us a job'
I think that nice Lee Jasper could probably use the money, now that it seems that he won't be getting his old job back
Would the 'listening leader' be the one to cause the 'listening Bank' to go bust?
PS The candidate will ideally be rich and own a substantial asset base, given that the ideal candidate will have to underwrite the client's debt. Candidates should be warned that some or all of this debt may be called in the short to medium term. On that basis the role would be best suited to someone who is also insane.
Peter Hain isn't doing much these days.
Mitch 3.05 Peter Hain NEVER did much - the only things he worked hard at were those that led to self advancement.
Lovin' the Labour line of "we must have more scrutiny of Tory policies" being trotted out.
Brown and co are basically saying to the vast majority of the public that they were too stupid to understand who they incorrectly voted for, and need 'educating' on the errors of their ways
We're listening!
Arrogant w@nkers
Sorry, took me so fucking long to wrote my name I have forgotten what I wanted to say.
St. Boris Peak rises to 1,665m in Friesland Ridge, Tangra Mountains, Livingston Island, Antarctica.
St. Boris Peak
To whom should I address my cv? (I have a good friend in Venezuela who would be more than happy to underwrite any debt.)
On The Guardian's Comment is Free Jackie Ashley is getting a pasting from readers - her suggestion for how NuLabour can revitilise itself: Bring back Blunkett!!!!
Also, on his Indie blog Steve (Anyone who votes for Boris is thick) Richards is now saying that the results were disasterous for Labour and Cameron is performing brilliantly.
PS Where is Stanislav? You don't think he's up for the job?
Why do polling stations issue PENCILS for voting, instead of INK.
Is this because pencil crosses are easier to rub out?
And also why is it that the BNP have lodged a complaint at the London Excel Centre that 40% of the ballot boxes arrived this morning with their seals broken and as they were made of cardboard some with slits where votes are placed through torn open? According to them the returning officer said "Theres nothing I can do about it?"
As for postal voting....
London twinned with Harare.
Come off it BB, that's totally unfair - on Harare (and all other banana republics).
They will have to offer it to Ken as a consolation prize.
Ken will take the job on the understanding that parties get more state funding, because its the only way he knows.
Gordon will push through the state funding of parties because it is the right decsion for Britain.
In honour of this momentous day, I would like to offer an 'Ode to the Local Elections':
I never thought I'd see a day
As good as this,
"But Why?" you say,
"A war's still raging in Iraq,
Our wages taxed to Hell and back,
We're credit-crunched, the Pound is down,
There's violent drunks in every town,
Our hospitals will make us ill,
We can't afford our petrol bill,
Inflation's rising out of sight,
At school our kids can't read or write,
So we can't see a single way,
That you can say 'life's good' today".
Though all the things you say are true,
They've brought about a change in you,
Today, there's something in the air,
Now people really seemed to care,
You left your houses, man and youth,
and you went to a Polling Booth,
Be Proud! Because as one you rose,
And gave this Government a bloody nose,
Turnout's higher than years before,
You stood your ground,
You said "No More".
And all the things of which you spoke,
Are true
We're still beneath the yoke,
Of Government inept and dumb,
But now they've seen their time has come,
We won't be robbed or back your war,
We won't live like this any more,
You work for US - not us for you,
Your years of conning us are through!,
We want real action, not cliche,
We want a change that starts TODAY,
And so, upon a final note,
I'm Happy.
Because today,
Britain remembered how to VOTE.
http://dungeekin.blogspot.com/2008/05/ode-to-local-elections.html
If NuScrewedLab have no Gen Sec, does that leave Treasurer MrMad Harriet Hareperson AKA j dromey in the line of fire for all the Lab debts and liabilities that canny Dave the Pitts dodged?.
looks as though the judge who said last year that the postal voting irregularities he had just investigated
'would disgrace a banana republic'
will be busy again
Wouldn't it be supremely ironic if getting into too much debt was the death of the Zanu-Labour party?
May I commend to Rockin Gordo a future peer of the realm and an indiscriminate BROWNnoser...'Lord Permatan Phain of bNeath con TEMPT' who is greatly experienced in running expensive losing campaigns on other peoples money and possesses remarkable accounting skills. Immediate availability.
Skills must also include the ability to generate £20 million plus to pay off debts in readiness for a major marketing campaign within the next two years. Ability to push shit uphill a distinct advantage.
Cool!
I've got none of the required skill and not a pot to piss in.
I feel I'll fit perfectly into the team.
Well, as Gary from Stoke failed to get elected perhaps they could give him the job. He'll have to brush up on his reading, writing and 'rithmetic* but I'm sure the job centre could sort out a suitable course for him.
*Then again, maybe not.
Guido I am disappointed you omitted to mention the bottomless expenses fund, complimentary John lewis cards and free personal transport.
If Gordo is "Listening", how come he is not galloping full pelt for Beachy Head ?
Alan Douglas
Dear G Brown
I am writing in response to the advert you placed on the popular Labour Party fansite (www.upshitcreekwithoutapaddle.com)and I wish to apply for the position advertised. I have many person-to-person skills plus a unique ability to micro-manage any crisis to my own advantage. The areas I feel that I am lacking in is sensitivity to ethnic minorities; I was recently unfortunately photographed at a Muslim council meeting drinking what was claimed to be a large Scotch, but I know to have been only a small one. I have also been accused of being heavy-handed with the press - accusing one nosy little bastard ... oops ... member of the press ... of being a concentration camp guard.
Due to unforeseen circumstances I suddenly find myself out of work at present so I am available for interviews at short notice.
Please don't ask to see me on Thursdays though - its the day I have to sign on.
Yours
Kenneth Livingstone
(the bloke who lost his job because of your incompetence)
Charlotte corday May 2, 2008 3:29 PM
said...
PS Where is Stanislav? You don't think he's up for the job?
Gone to Scandinavia with his mates apparently, since they can achieve a better standard of living than in this wrecked dump.
Come back Stan ! We love you.
Stephen Carter would seem the ideal candidate - he already works for Gordon (lucky man) and has experience of organisations that go into bankruptcy.
Do you suppose that Chris Paul and Gary Elsby are comforting each other, that's why they are so strangely silent?
Bravo, Guido. You don't half know how to twist the knife.
What is happening to the left side of Snottie McTwat's jaw? Anyone else spotted this?
You forgot to say: Needs skill to apply black hair dye in an attempt to look young (and fails) Guido
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