OK, Now You Can Let Rip in the Comments
So contrary to early reports and rejoicing this morning on the unpopular blogs, Guido is still at liberty. Sentenced to a 3 year driving ban, plus 3 month curfew. No excuses, Guido pleaded guilty.
Mrs Fawkes laughed at the news, she has been trying to get her husband home early for years. Guido attributes his shameful behavior to excess alcohol and an early reading of P J O'Rourke's Republican Party Reptile*.
Thanks to all those of you who sent best wishes and to the not at all obsessed T** I****** for turning up to offer, errm, support in the public gallery. Having demurred to the offer of an alcohol treatment program, Guido will continue to drink and now be chauffeur-driven home early.
*The Platform of the Republican Party Reptiles:
Mrs Fawkes laughed at the news, she has been trying to get her husband home early for years. Guido attributes his shameful behavior to excess alcohol and an early reading of P J O'Rourke's Republican Party Reptile*.
Thanks to all those of you who sent best wishes and to the not at all obsessed T** I****** for turning up to offer, errm, support in the public gallery. Having demurred to the offer of an alcohol treatment program, Guido will continue to drink and now be chauffeur-driven home early.
*The Platform of the Republican Party Reptiles:
Of course there is nothing unusual about tagging for a blogger...“I think our agenda is clear. We are opposed to: government spending, Kennedy kids, seat-belt laws, busing our children anywhere other than Yale, trailer courts near our vacation homes, all tiny Third World countries that don’t have banking secrecy laws, aerobics, the UN, taxation without tax loopholes, and jewelry on men. We are in favor of: guns, drugs, fast cars, free love (if our wives don’t find out), a sound dollar, and a strong military with spiffy uniforms. There are thousands of people in America who feel this way, especially after three or four drinks. If all of us would unite and work together, we could give this country. . . well, a real bad hangover.”
101 comments:
You should have thought ahead and got yourself a nice clean Irish licence, after all you're only banned in Britain.
The ban can be lifted after 2 years if you ask nicely.
You got off lightly. Hanging drawing and quartering's too good. Burn the heretic.
That was pretty severe to be given a curfew as well!
Good news that you're still at liberty to bring us all up to date on the mendacious twats taking from the public purse.
I thought it was £50 worth of Argos vouchers and a course on Anger Management!
You are the victim.
It was all our fault.
Shit happens, Guido.
You may be a drunkard but at least you're not Polly Toynbee and that is at least one reason to be cheerful.
cannot believe TI turned up!
A driving ban and a tag? that's light compared to your last run-in with the law. The rack and thumbscrews followed by hanging, drawing and quartering, wasn't it?
Does the electronic tag chafe?
Was Michael White on the bench ?
Who is this T** I****** of whom you speak?
No comment until you tell me if I have won the competition ;)
Unlucky old chap.
The problem with a drink driving ban is that there is no reason not to spend the whole time pissed.
Timothy came along? The man's obsessed. He likes you.
congratters BTW. You don't want to be driving in London anyway.
The "Laithwaites" advert isnt to appropriate for this posting...
That's Sir Michael White to you...
less alcohol and a bike will do wonders for your waistline.
Look on it as an opportunity.....
Either you've done it before or it was a bloody high reading! Does the tag bugger up any proposed summer hols?
mmmm - a 3-year driving ban ....
Someone has been leading a busy and entertaining life, with an earlier driving ban, within the last 10 years
Shame there isn't a betting market on when Guido ends up in rehab.
I'll take Jan '09
Think you a trooper and look at all the money you will save on petrol buy something nice for Mrs Fawkes and the mini Fawkes
HH
Look, if you are going to break the law, do it properly. Now the recipe for gunpowder is Charcoal., saltpetre, sulpher in the proportions of.....(better not). Fill some very large barrells, take them to H o P, but this time DO IT RIGHT!
She laughed? She should have been embarrased that you were doing such a foolish, dangerous and basically arrogant thing.
Tim Ireland turned up?!?!? Joy.
To quote from the bible for these moments, There's Something About Mary:
SULLY: Stalker, huh?
HEALY: Big time.
'I spy Strangers' at 5.04pm.
This from an earlier blog in The Independent:
"It is his fourth alcohol-related offence and second drink-driving reprimand – he was banned for 12 months in 2002 – requiring the judge to consider a jail sentence."
Nobody who quotes P. J. O'Rourke can be anything other than an adornment to civilisation. Good luck with it all.
"There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause."
Parliament of Whores
Its still better than consuming snot live on tv from the house of commons.
3 year ban?
You should shout your lo-carbon green credentials from the rooftops my friend ;-)
Good to hear you're still around.
Tim went because I couldn't make it.
Did your solicitor get chance to mitigate or was it all standard stuff .
You've missed out the 18 month supervision order... pray tell us why?
Did the driving without insurance get NFA'd then?
Carl Eve
http://blogs.mirror.co.uk/maguire/2008/05/disorderdisorder.html
I see Kevin Maguire has had a go at you Guido, and I've seen your comment too after mine.
How about this little amendment to his blurb on his webpage...
http://i31.tinypic.com/2r5f12q.jpg
But seriously Guido, what were you thinking of - In a GOLF? Shame on you!
well done Guido,
I see your plan -at a stroke you have slashed your carbon footprint and mitigated the effect of rising oil prices.
I'll raise a glass to that..
And no ASBO? How can you look a hoodie in the face. Glad it went as well as can be expected. I promise I won't pester you for a lift after next year's ASI do...
from Kev mcGuire's tuppenyworth:
"You drink four bottles of wine a week for a start."
Eh? The Tuscan hopes those bottles were Nebuchadnezzars, at the very least.
"No excuses, Guido plead guilty."
A pedant writes:
umm would that be "pleaded"
By the way, the Laithwaite's advert works.
I bought shit-loads from them last week, after clicking on the banner ad above.
Cracking wines, inexpensively priced.
I've left a suitable message on Kevin Maguires site ...
Good on you for the self-deprecation. You may not be able to drive but the smug tossers agin you aren't aboe to laugh at themselves.
But seriously. T** I****** turned up in court? Get a restraining order on him. I hope you gave him a coquettish wave as they took you down.
Beer is better than driving. Mind you, I hate driving. I like beer, so I'm not starting from an entirely neutral base here.
Best of luck.
Bang go any plans to visit America !
Your crime now pits you against their Dept. Of Home Security who will regard you as a terrorist threat in the same league Osama himself.
Mind you, with the previous as posted , not much difference really.
Lets slap one of the Governments new Alcohol Disorder Zones around Guido Mansions...
get a deal with a local cab co and it will probably work out cheaper than running a car given fuel prices.
Mick.
Surely you MUST appeal the Curfew?
I can't see where that is listed in the punishment for pissed up driving.
You only drink four bottles of wine a week ?????
No wonder the judge said you have an "alcohol problem".
If he appealed it they'd probably stick him in prison. Not a good move. Besides, all the best people get done for driving without insurance.
Any chance of a lift?
Has it occurred to to you that it was probably the extremely patient Mrs Fawkes who asked the beak for the curfew on her errant hubby, anon?
Are you allowed to go out after 9 if you tell the plod where you are going?
For example, visting mum, school play, midnight mass, prayer meeting, hospital, soup kitchen...
This curfew thing seems VERY Draconian to me.
Is your tag shower/bath proof?
You'll have to invite everyone over to yours to party instead. How's 4.20 ;-)
What does your tag look like? Stick a picture up!
Was the sentence fitting for the crime?
I think we should all ring Kevin McGuire up and ask him how many bottles of wine he drinks a week?
Anybody have his mobile number (again)?
@anonymous 7:25 pm
A curfew requirement is a perfectly legitimate part of a Community Order - which is presumably what was imposed. So too is a Supervision Requirement, which it appears was also part of G's sentence (in the old language - Probation). There are 10 other possibilities too it's rare for more than about 3 to be included in any one Order. Depending on the offender and the offence some of the 12 will be more suitable than others. Perhaps the most obvious other possibility would be what is now called Unpaid Work - Community Service in the old language.
The 3 year disqualification is the MINIMUM allowed by law (as there is a previous conviction for drink driving in the last 10 years).
The offence carries the POSSIBILTY of a 6 month custodial sentence at maximum, although this would be unusual for a second time offender at twice the limit who pled (or pleaded - take your pick) guilty (guilty pleas attracting a reduction in sentence).
On the face of it the sentence is neither spectacularly savage nor unduly lenient under current law (and of course that's how it should be).
You might not like the law as it is - but that's a different question.
I would imagine Mrs Fawkes laughed because you were not having your wing-wang squeezed.
Your foot would survive a few secs in the microwave: would the tag? I would imagine a tag breakdown a day would be irksome to the law.
Condolences.
I would expect a few of these could do fun things to the tag.
Have fun
Deliberately damaging his tag would see him off to jail for 18 months, as would any infraction of his curfew or probation.
Hint:
Don't mention toilets in your comments on the Blog of Izal's Shiny Ring.
Strangely enough it won't post.
I'm pretty sure Maguire thinks he's actually McGyver/Bush, actually he be a pussy.
@anonymous 9:00 pm
No - it would not have that effect.
If he breaches his Orders, they could be revoked and he could be re-sentenced, but only, at most, to the MAXIMUM for the offence: 6 months.
One good thing to come out of all of this, at least Tim knows where you are of an evening, it will save him hanging around your pile in a dirty macintosh.
Tim being tim he will probably pour petrol through your letterbox, chuck in a match and then report you for breaking your curfew.
BTW everybody, tim is promoting the latest video by notorious pederast Johnathan King on his site
"www.bloggerheads.com"
The title
"ITS OK TO BUGGER BOYS"
Im serious visit his site.
Talk about the oxygen of publicity and the politics of envy
GET HER!
Lenient I think, still Boris probably fixed it for you.
Theo Spark/Last of the Few has something that may be of interest....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EPM84PfKeOk
His foot would survive a few secs in the microwave?
Possibly - but since he can't be stuffed in whole, which is the only way to shut the door and operate the machine, you'd have to saw his foot off. At which point it would hardly be worth worrying about the tag, but if you were it should slip straight off.
Glad they sentenced you to keep on blogging, GF, hope you know how lucky you've been.
Good show!
Juding by the joy of the lefties they still can't hack the fact that a)you're not funding their beloved welfare system and b)you brought down Peter Hain.
How does the tag interact with leg hair? I would say that it serves you right, but I consider that the presence of a frotting T** I****** on top of the sentence makes your punishment a penance greater than you really deserve.
curfew? WTF?
Yeah sure a driving ban, but a curfew?
Btw I hear that Norman Kember is good for a few quid if you tell him you are under house arrest - no wait - you have to threaten to kill people for him to be interested.
Oh Dear Guido - naughty boy - hope it was a good party - just make sure that if you get locked up ever you can still publish your blog - we'd be LOST without the dirt you dig on those weasel politicians - despite the booze you're the best thing yet to come out of my broadband subscription.(With Ian coming a close second!) - Cheers!
I suppose if I were Blair, I'd just shrug and say, "Guido will be Guido", and everything would be ok.
Seemed to work for Prescott and his misdemeanours...
P.S. Even sillier if you thought you could pass Fire without encountering the police!
God bless you Guido, licence or no licence
:)
An irresponsible libertarian. Who would have thought it eh?
"curfew? WTF?
Yeah sure a driving ban, but a curfew?"
Lucky the prisons are full because that is where you should be. If Guido had run over one of you lot or you're family I doubt you would find it quite so trivial then!
Sorry Guy old chap, I have plenty of time for your blog and your views on our political 'masters' but no time for cunts who drive pissed. I am all for libertarian lifestyle booze all you like, drive the biggest and bestest car you can to fuck off the greens, but combining the two steps into harming others by your actions.
Of course, should one wish to drink copious amounts and then drive like a cunt smashing other cars to bits there is always the banger track. Great fun and any harm done to other cars or drivers is to be expected and part of the game.
For you to be banned for 3 years means this is either not your first offence, or you were grossly over the limit.
As for the curfew, this is probably an attempt to keep you away from pubs in the evening.
I am guessing you are borderline alcoholic. You are certainly a cretin for putting other people at risk through your childish behaviour, and the happiness of your family in peril through the very real possibility that you may have killed yourself or, worse, someone else.
You are certainly in no position ever to pontificate on the moral failings of others.
Incredibly stupid, selfish and indefensible. There is no excuse for drink driving, particularly in London. Accept the punishment, try and learn from it and don't do it again otherwise it will be deserved jail time with amorous cellmate Big Bubba...notwithstanding the possibility of a death on your conscience.
4 bottles of wine a week is't too bad - I have two a week, and this didn't incur medical disapproval at my last checkup.
How are you going to behave yourself for the rest of your life? You're bound to get prison next time you're a bad boy.
Sorry to hear the bad news Guido. Chin up, stay home and drink more!
Essential reading for the proud wearer of a Peckham Rolex
You made The Independent again. Pandora seems to be almst as obsessed...
only 4?
That's ridiculous. Just being logical about it, that would mean only just over half a bottle a night, or two normal-sized glasses (viz 250ml). And no more. That's what, 24 units? Even the risibly low govt 'recommended maximum' is 28.
sometimes I despair, really I do.
I hope I never encounter you while you are driving. That would be grounds for curtailing your precious liberty to harm others.
SSOF - do I detect a whiff of magisterial knowledge in your posts? Guido - did you also incur any sort of fine and, if so, did you have to pay the dreaded £15 Victims 'Surcharge' (aka Tax)?
sockpuppet:
"sometimes I despair, really I do."
Fuck off the you deluded cunt!
"His reprieve came from a last-minute administrative fluke: Guido was moved to Court 2 from Court 1, presided over by the notoriously harsh District Judge Shamoon "Judge Dredd" Somjee."
Is this true? You were a lucky boy!
all of a sudden the poeple who read this blog but who have never met you in person are given a very clear idea of the sort of person you are.
'fuck off the' what?
certainly seem to have somehow fucked off an illiterate, don't I?
Guido
At least when the euro gendarmerie, in their black leather raincoats, arrive pounding on your door at 0400 hrs - summoned by your ministerial enemies - you can be certain it will have nothing to do with your drinking habits.
This aside, heavy boozing seriously rots your guts man, and I for one would be pleased to see you around for a long time.
Anon 11.35 - Yeah, a bloody great laugh. I for one wouldn't pass on the opportunity to party with Guido. I imagine it'd be one hell of a night.
I thought that your reference to PJ O'Reptile was for his essay, "How to drive fast on drugs while getting your wing-wang squeezed without spilling your drink."
Pandora says the beak said you drink some four bottles of wine a week.
I hope there are spirits and beer in addition?
Four bottles a week is NOWT!
Anonymous said... May 15, 2008 6:02 PM
Did your solicitor get chance to mitigate or was it all standard stuff.
Umm - why the word "or" ?
The standard IS that ALL convicted persons can put forward mitigation before being sentenced (or if they are represented their lawyer can do it).
Mitigation can be about the offence or about the offender.
sockpuppet, who has always been called sockpuppet said...
'fuck off the' what?
I missed off the N. Should have read:
'Fuck off then you deluded cunt!'
So please Mr puppet, put a sock in it, then fuck off to the hole you came from. You stupid cunt!
goodness, you're right. Spelled correctly, your wit shines through like a beacon, and doesn't make you look like an unlettered prick at all.
Why not take your own excellent advice, hmm? Why not give that a whirl for a change?
And I'm still not anyone else.
"Why not take your own excellent advice, hmm? Why not give that a whirl for a change?
And I'm still not anyone else."
Fuck off you puppet! Capital letters to start a sentence you thick cunt!
The Beast Of Clerkenwell,
So, you're accusing Tim of promoting paedophilia? In the circumstances, my accusing you of being a lying prat seems pretty darn friendly, don't you think?
Love to all.
All the best parties end with someone in court! I hope we're all invited to the mash up when your curfew expires?
Your WiKi page is a bit of a hatchet job , isn't it ?
.
Senor Guido
ScHocking, when Ladies & Children & Junior Eagles read this Blogge Excellentissimus
Here vee haff a highly personalized, existential tragedie for the Qualitaets French-Wein Sektor
whose sales will slump, following a Distinguished & Popular Irish Blogger's enforced baby-sitting duties after 9pm
BUT several of your Kommenters are focuSing (nicht focuSSing) on mutual personal abuse
WHEN they should be focusing on exceeding the target of 100
Alles Gute
G Eagle
G Eagle Esq said...
Fuck all of any importance. Now fuck off you cunt!
Chapter 98
hWoorrre
Shufffles from left talon ... to right ... and backwards toward the door, switching the light off upon exiting to minimize Global Warming
.... perhaps one detects the intellectual benefits of an education inspired by ReichsPresident Blair's National Curriculum, culminating in a degree from one of our Newer "Universities"
Nil illegitime carborundum
G Eagle Esq (cunt to his friends)said...
Fuck all as usual.For the last time, fuck off you cunt!
Schadenfreude.
So, are there some drivers in London who are insured and not drunk?
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