Friday Caption Contest (Tamsin's Crewe Edition)
This caption contest uses an old photo from Tamsin's days as a Welsh AM. Alas Gordon has yet to be seen in Crewe and Nantwich putting his curse on her campaign to inherit her mother's seat.
Could this photo have the same Jonah effect as the one Gordon had with Ken? Here's hoping...
Could this photo have the same Jonah effect as the one Gordon had with Ken? Here's hoping...
113 comments:
Tory voters are as rare as rocking horse shite in this ward
DOH!
Tamsin has to get her picture with Gordon at some other event... as he can't be bothered to visit Crewe himself...
In unison, "I'm so sorry to hear of your recent loss"
"Even looking through rose-coloured glasses, New Labour are still cunts."
Gordon say....
I CONFIDENTLY PREDICT THAT YOUR MOTHER WILL LIVE TO BE A A 100
If all you Englishmen want to get rid of bean and his cabal of renegade Scots ASAP then I suggest you all donate at least £1 per month to the SNP who are the only party who are capable of this feat!
If not, then it will take us a bit longer to do so, and the UK cannot wait that long-at the present rate of decline, there will be nothing left to fight over in 2 years!
Thats all it takes -£1
I am not sure if Jonah's curses are transferable, the curse in your photograph may only apply to Tamsin's Welsh Parliament job, which was successfully concluded last year.
To be on the safe side, I think a visit to Crewe, by Jonah, accompanied by Tamsin, is required.
Unless Jonah has sent his curse by special envoy Jack Straw.
Gordon on 16/4/08
"Och Tamsin , your mother looks to be in fine health , why only this morning I wished her all the best"
Tamsin: "Anorexic, moi? Shurely shome mishtake?"
Brown: "I wonder where we dug this one up from?"
Prime Minister and Labour PPC react to news that David Milliband has fallen under a bus.
Guido, you've headed this piece 'Caption Competition'. Surely you meant Totty Watch.
OK, let's swap our teeth back now.
Tams out??
Gordo "I thought you said it was her mother who'd died? This bag of bones looks like she's not long for this world"
Tamsin "Just smile for the camera you bent bastard or I'll tell them what mum told me about you and the rocking horse"
You are Fawked. You are Fawked. We are Fawkse'd.
And I gather Alistair Darling wasn't at Mrs D's funeral yesterday, although most of the Shadow Cabinet showed up.
REPORTER: Tamsin, Gordon, any comment?
BROWN: Mr-Mr-Mr Reporter, whilst it is true that Tam was a roommate of mine at Edinburgh University and remains a close friend, I can inform this gathering that at no time have we indulged in inappropriate behaviour. Furthermore.......
I didn't know Gordon's granny was running for Crewe and Nantwich?
Whatever will he wheel out next?
For the general election:
Great Aunty Doris and the contents of the local old-person demensure-dump. Great Dame. Great teeth.
Off topic but this joke I heard recently made me laugh...
Q: What do you call a couple of dozen Labour MPs wearing concrete overcoats, on the bottom of the North Sea?
A: A good start.
The Ant and Dec of British politics.
The only poll they can win is a rigged on.
Surely Gwyneth took up 2 seats? Her daughter looks as if a half of one would suffice.
A Labour MP walks into a pub with a large pig under one arm. The pig is dirty, smelly, sweaty, ugly, and generally unsavoury, and is making disgusting grunting noises. The MP strolls up to the bar, behind which is standing the pub landlord.
Labour MP: "A pint of your best bitter please, Landlord."
Landlord (looking at pig in utter horror): "Where the hell did you get THAT?"
Pig: "I won it in a raffle".
Could you jump in my grave any quicker?
"Beg all you like Gordon - I won't let you know how to get rid of the fat gene".
Tamsin's relationship to Gordo has Crewe voters seeing red...
"I see red
It hurts my head
I guess it must be something
That I read..."
- Neil Peart (Rush), Red Lenses
Tamsin . 'Here's one of me at the fag hags convention'.
Yes, it's the Monster Raving Loony Party!
Good grief! Is that a publicity still for a low budget art house horror movie or something from an election pamphlet?
I know politics is not supposed to be a beauty pagent, but FFS! Tamsin's election leaflets that picture ain't going to be allowed out if the Lord Chamberlain has anything to say about it.
From the Guardian
"I WON'T EAT AGAIN UNTIL BORIS KILLS HIMSELF", INSISTS WEIR
Multi-talented actress Arabella Weir (left) vowed to maintain her hunger strike, which began following the victory of Boris Johnson, despite concerns from friends and family about her appearance.
"Until that toff kills himself, my protest will go on" said the acclaimed multi-BAFTA winning comedienne, "I am doing it for the sake of democracy in our country".
Her struggle met with support from Prime Minister Gordon Brown (right), who praised Weir as a "champion for all hard-working families"
I feel your pain
Here's a poll about which Labour bitch you could stand to fuck.
http://snappoll.com/poll/268946.php
1. The futures shite, the future's orange.
2. "OK Tony, I've finally found one that makes Cherie look good - hand over the fiver now please"
GB: "I am happy to endorse Tamsin to succeed her daughter Gwyneth"
TD: "Umm..."
Attack of the zombie flesh eaters from Mars
I know that Gemma Garrett, the reigning Miss Great Britain, is to contest the Crewe and Nantwich seat on behalf of the 'Beauties for Britain' party. But when did she get to meet Gordon Brown?
Tamsin:
What's brown and smelly and comes in bottles?
Gordon:
Tha's a bluidy lie ye manky faghag, it wisnae a bottle it were a jamjar.
Tamsin:
I meant HP Sauce, Prime Minister ...
GB: You look very happy today.
TD: My doctor says I must try coping with life's less pleasant elements by neutralising them through laughter.
GB: Mine said the same thing, i'll try it now while I read The Sun.
Two rich would be-socialists are poisoned by Martian atmosphere.
Snotgobbler: ...and I'll tour the constituency next week with Ed Balls.
Skull on a Stick: Bugger me!
Snotgobbler: Fat chance. But I will bugger your chances.
GB: I bought Sarah a new anti ageing cream which she tried last night ... because she’s worth it!
The nice lady was smiling beside him but all Gordo could see was the red mist....
Gordon to John Prescott.
Take a look at this Johnny boy, yer great nance. And you thought you had Bulimia?
Oh dear, somebody who makes Bean look young...
Tamsin....
"Gordon I hear you sent Ken a deoderant for christmas , was it ball or aerosol?"
Gordon...
" Och ,Neither it was for his armpits"
TD: "I lost my seat in WALES to a TORY."
GB: "And I, for my part, am doing my utmost to ensure the same result throughout the entire kingdom. Starting with Crewe. Muwahahahahah."
who said politics was showbiz for ugly people?
Is that a picture of Gordon with Arabella Weir on her hunger strike?
Mme Tussauds relent, and put the waxwork of Gaygordo next to Dot Cotton.
Inflation hidden ?
Not any more ... just look at the size of Broon's heed !
" That lassie's heid is like an orange on a toothpick"
"If thine eyes offend thee, tear them out."
Gonna be a shitload of blind people after looking at that pair of fuck-ugly gargoyles.
The Crewe Blog at http://www.crewe.tv/ is running its own mini-poll re the bye-election which currently has:-
Lib. Dems. 45%
Tory 14%
NuLab 21%
You are invited, "Just for fun, cast your vote to see who might win the Crewe and Nantwich seat....."
So. Just for fun........
That bitch has stolen Shargars teeth.
Gordon, get them back and I'll give you a ride for free
Gordon says.."and in my third term I will make you chancellor after I teach you everything I know"
Tamsin thinks..."shouldn't take long"
and a joke too..What do you call a minibus full of labour MPs?
Her majestys opposition in 2010.
One look at this photo and you can tell that the country's in capable hands.
Ahh nurse!
Time for my medicine already?
I am looking forward to my electroshock therapy, it's so invigorating.
Labour losers.
Only one of the people in this photograph is wearing ladies knickers.
For the first time this millenium, Gordon is NOT the ugliest fucker in the picture!
And the winners of the best looking couple in Scotland are.....
Did i tell you about how i fucked the poor with stealth tax, hee hee hee.
Fuck me, but that is one rough looking old leftie.
Tamsin's not pretty either.
Brown is down in the heart of Cornwall today. Not talking to the people that matter in Redruth/Camborne- and no doubt putting the mockers on a Labour success in this Liberal Stronghold.
Brown is down in the heart of Cornwall today. Not talking to the people that matter in Redruth/Camborne- and no doubt putting the mockers on a Labour success in this Liberal Stronghold.
Bloody Ron Davis - told me this was the best pick from his "Valley Virgins Rent-a-Beard" catalogue.
Oh Gawd. It's got the stage where there is nothing funny about the pratt and the hag with him. It's just depressing. Take it down Guido. Take it down. Please?
Phuuck me!
With teeth like that she could eat an apple through the strings of a tennis racquet!
Dunwoody tried to increase her chances of standing for the 'Beauties for Britain' party by standing next to Gordon, but had to admit that the chances were as small as her overbite was big.
Hey, I looked after her in that cellar you know. She got everything she wanted. And no, I'm not gay.
When was the picture taken Guido?
She seems to be wearing the same earings, hairstyle and dress when she and her dad were stopped in the street by a couple of coppers on Tuesday.
Broon: Would you like to join me for dinner?
Tamsin: But I already had dinner last week.
GB "Noo, Tamsin, ya should nae ha visited tha head-shrinking tribe in Papua New Guinea"
Gordon -
So would it be alright to put the coffin in the polling hall?
Tamsin -
certainly, do you want the lid on or off for maximum votes? perhaps we could serve caviar out of it once the election is over?
"Tamsin if you are a Welsh AM I'll damn well be the English PM"
Gordon Brown celebrates single-handedly finding Shergar.
Gay Gorgon travels far to bestow his patented "Kiss of Death" on anorexic welsh hag.
OOps Guido - you've got the wrong picture!
Surely this is Bernard Manning and Audrey from Coronation Street
1:22 PM
Today's contributor Jade Goody:
wunt the Arse Uv Come-onz b a top playce 4 a macdonawlds drive-by. jus needta konkreet vat ole gaff ova furs.
Allow me to introduce Gwyneth Dunwoody's granny
Ms.Dunwoody and Mr. Done For
I've heard of pink-eye, but this sun-dried old prune is so unphotogenic she's discoloured the entire snap.
Yuk...the woman is almost as butt fuck ugly as her mother.
If there is ever a campaign for compulsory sterilization this is the poster.
JUST SAY NO!
O/T and childish I know but if you go to the Downing street website:
http://www.pm.gov.uk/output/Email_The_PM_Form.asp
You can email Gordon!
Don't bother with all the tiresome detail just put any single character in the first 3 boxes and make up an email address like a@rse.co.uk then send your message.
Maybe stick to resign! rather than anything rude
Can we crash his sight?
Will a tame mp ask how many "resign!" emails he's received?
Tamsin....now that's a good working class moniker
Participants proudly exhibit choppers during Best-Bite comp at local Vampiric Society's cheese n wine fund-raiser.
Vote Red go Pink!
Let's hope they'll both be sCREWEd
soon!
Off topic, sorry Guido - just voted on the Crewe blog:
http://www.crewe.tv/
Tory is now up to 20%, you know it make sense.....
Stephen
Peter Mandelson (in background) "The first one to stop smiling is a poof!"
GB "Tamsin, the Party is in a bit of a fix. We can't afford to lose the deposit on the by-election so would you pay it yourself?"
TD "Hahahahahaha....er"
Photographer (thinking with red mist appearing over eyes) "There's never a chainsaw to hand when you need one"
T.D. 'And where were you yesterday?'
G.B.'In a teashop.'
Dear Gordon:
The photo is red, and violets are blue,
Alexander's fucked, and so are you.
Fucking delicious!
A little rude of me, but she is an ugly dog.
Oh dear, Brown's done for Tamsin!
Not only did he help RedKen to lose, he came to Bilston (Wolverhampton) a week or so before the election, and helped to Get the Tory Vote Out. Wolverhampton City Council went into No Overall Control and will have a Tory adminstration.
Gosh, what effect would Brown actually visiting have on the by-election ???
gordon says..say rocking horse, a photo with me will make you famous look what it did for ken.
Tamsin : Gordy baby, why is your tie creeping over my shoulders dearest and what is your tiepin doing down there?
Gorgon : Tamsy, sweetheart, my tiepin (unlike me) has a mind of its own. I know not what it will do next - it's like Bendy Wendy, I can't control the little thing (or her either) Anyway, don't knock the tiepin - it's made of the only gold that was left over after the sale so it's unique.
Blimey. He's used more botox than she has!
it looks like some kind of special event for spastics
at a village hall. it really does, doesn't it?
let's be honest, gordon brown looks like a spastic.
the woman on his right looks like his carer. she has been given strict instructions not to let gordon out of her sight for any reason. he's got previous you see.
as everything brown touches turns to shit, tamsin must realize that any chance she may have had has now been snuffed out by THE FUCKING JONAH!!!!!
note to tamsin: you have been infected by THE JONAH. there is no cure.
Some neck, some chicken.
Or some neck, and a chicken.
God, what a slapper.
She looks like she's been let out of the cellar after 20 years.
Only Gordon could visit the red light area and come out with a woman like that.
Gordon: "I am NOT f***ing gay!".
Necrophile definitely.
Brawn of the Dead
"Crewe Slut")*
*With apologies to the estate of the late Mr Zappa
Tamsin is thinking: "he never look down my dress once to look at my tits. He must be fucking gay"
Man who bankrupted Britain cannot stop smiling at cameras.
He said, 'I simply cannot believe I got away with it. Britain was number 4 in world competitiveness when I took over. Now the place is wrecked, and full of uneducated shite.'
Cludo piece gets backing of Party 'leader' in by-election.
I feel your pain
Photographer captures the moment when Gordon's Prozac kicks in at last
3:42 AM
Yeah man.
Poirot smirks with gleeful anticipation to exercizing his little pink cells.
Who is the winner of the caption competition then Guido?
AM meets PM at noon.
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