Gordon's Local Garage Hikes Fuel Price 25%
Britain is getting more and more like Zimbabwe every day, a leader afraid of elections, food prices soaring and now petrol prices jumping 25% in a week.The Rix garage in Kirkcaldy has been charging an outrageous £1.45 a litre for diesel and £1.25 for unleaded petrol. Not that this will bother Gordon - he has never had to pay for petrol.
The Grangemouth oil refinery is on the verge of shutdown as it looks like a two-day strike by staff will go ahead this weekend.
Reports from around the country tell of queues of panic buyers worried that the 200,000 barrel-a-day Grangemouth refinery closure will force the BP Forties Pipeline System, which transfers oil from more than 50 North Sea fields, to be turned off. If the dispute lasts for more than two days Britain will run dry...
57 comments:
cunts
In my area of the 'Skawwwtish republic of Salmondville' the natives have begun to hoard-booze- whoops- petrol. So much for the rational buying message then!
I see Gordon has a plan to rescue the world's poor from starvation in the food crisis. It begins by doubling their tax rate
Got a diesel car?
It will run just as well on cooking oil, so head for the nearest Aldi's the next time you want to top up!
We are going to pay an awful lot more whilst waiting for Mr Bean and Mr Brows lose the next election. Hang onto your pennies, folks.
needless to say JONAH was involved in this one.
management were going to crumble, until brown stuck his oar in.
Actually we've been a net importer of oil since about June 2004. UK North Sea oil production peaked in 1999 and has been plummeting ever since - odd when you consider that the Norwegians don't have that problem. I thought that the government had the situation under control some time ago when, in response to declining oil output, the government sought to attract oil companies by cutting rental fees on licences - but obviously Brown probably cancelled that as well.
BB
Aldi and Lidl have just put up their vegetable oil prices. Supply and demand at work, I suppose.
So will ZaNuLabour be as tough on its pals in Unite as it was on the fuel tax protesters a few years ago?
Doesn't seem very likely, does it? Even Brown isn't stupid enough to bite the hand that feeds.
John Hutton sends out a "Don't Panic" message.
"Everyone can help in this by just buying fuel as normal — buying extra causes problems in the system which would otherwise not exist."
Time to go out and top up the tank methinks and buy a few bottles of Aldi's cheapest frying oil on the way back.
Bloody MPs and their perks. Happy to see petrol prices rocket sky-high in the interests of "saving the planet" (read: keeping the proles off the roads), because they never have to pay for fuel.
Ah, the sight of a trembling Brown filling up his car from a 5 gall jerry can as he tries to flee to the Channel tunnel to make his escape from the enraged voters and Labout MPs...
Cf images of the German high command fleeing from Berlin to the American front to escape the retribution of the Soviets.
I don't see that we'll run out after two days of non-production from Grangemouth. The UK uses about 90 million tonnes of oil products a year and has 67 days of demand in tanks as a reserve (known as CSO or "Compulsory Stocking Obligations", a legal requirement on fuel companies).
Grangemouth is only 30,000 tonnes a day and not all of that is road fuel anyway, so losing it for a while won't cause a problem except for Ineos.
It's also not practical to "move production overseas", as suggested previously. You can't just move a capital asset like an oil refinery overseas. They cost up to $6 billion to construct, depending on what kit you want. You'll never get planning permission for one anywhere in Europe and if you build it in India it's not a lot of use to the UK.
A refinery in Germany was closed down in 1995 and reopened in India, but it had to by physically dismantled, moved, then re-assembled. It took ten years.
It's all going so well for that cuntbubble Brown, I'm stoked for him.
Julian - there is a fundamental difference between the UK and Norwegian sectors of the North Sea, though; the UK side is much more likely to contain smaller fields, and they are more likely to contain gas than the Norwegian fields.
This will be filed under "good news" by Gordon - as he can simply stick the 25% on to his taxpayer-funded expenses.
Re Zimbabwe.
I was thinking along similar lines yesterday.
Take any headline with Zimbabwe in it, substitute 'Britain' and you wouldn't think anything you saw was particularly strange or out of place.
Here's one I made earlier:
Britain: children aged beyond their years by taking on duties of a lost generation
Don't worry. McBean will come to the rescue. Look what wonders his bank rescue is performing today for Alliance & Leicester.
He has already forestalled a run and the unseemly TV pics he had to endure with NR. In the absence of petrol, nobody will be able to get to town to withdraw their savings.
Nice one.
Be careful if using vegetable oil. Continued use leads to oil polymerisation- and this can damage the engine. Straight vegetable oil is NOT bio-diesel, it still contains glycerine and soaps. see http://www.graham-laming.com/bd/main.htm for info on how to do it. Also HMRC gets pissed if they find you out.
Sorry, that link is a dud. Try this.
So what should we do, look skywards and "tut" as usual? What about, as a vehicle driving nation en masse, boycotting a fuel brand for a month? It wouldn't alter the tax regime but would affect the profiteering. BP for May anyone?
rkoag
Been running on a 75/25 diesel/veggy oil mix for years, no problems (50/50 at times). A dose of RedX and a tank of shell Vpower around MOT time is recommended.
Time to convene C.O.B.R.A (again !)
No doubt the "Beeb" will oblige with shots of Gordon and "chums" looking suitably Ministerial as they go in and out of Downing Street although Gordon is still deciding what line to take - concillatory or tough(neither is likely to prove effective as no one regards him as relevant anymore)
Unfortunately I think the message "The Prime Minister is taking charge of the situation" will probably double the queues !
Banks buggered by browns spending binge. Pensions screwed ditto. Public service ethic destroyed by zanuliebour politization. Education ditto. Manufacturing (i.e. added value) Industry - erm what manufacturing industry? House prices unaffordable unless buyers are subsidised by goverment, that is other more prudent taxpayers. Real earnings going down because of eye watering tax levels and increasing prices and taxes. Car ownership made into a quasi illegal activity. Flying away for a short break to escape this miserable island also treated as criminal. People criminalised for over-filling a dustbin. Crime statitsics - in fact ALL governemnt statistics - traduced. And now we will have road fuel queues - a defato 'run' on forecourts.
You really could not believe that in just 11 years this shower could so totally fuck up an economy just emerging successfully from a very painfull reconstruction.
None of this has an impact on Tony Blair wealthy man got on the Heathrow express had no money so did not have to pay the fare.. as reported in the Mail today
What an outrage if it was Nancy from the sink estate she would be in the dock today
Really not fair !!
Anon 10 33
I don't think can actually drive a car (Or run a government) I agree with your sentiments.
Arf arf, when Scotland becomes independent you won't get ANY oil from us, get used to it ya effeminate English poofs!!
Surprised you haven't surrendered to us yet...
Dunfesterin.
Your banks are shit as is your economy.
dunfestering - yep and when you get it it will destroy you as you fight among yourselves as to whom should have all this largesse. It will corrupt your goverment even more.
Dunfesterin ... we'll just buy the oil from you and you can sit on your lard arses all day long. Neither you nor we will notice any difference.
Grangemouth is one buyer of crude from the Forties line, but more is actually exported from the Hound Point Terminal, which by-passes the Grangemouth delivery point.
So, not much chance of fields shutting-in production - just a few more cargoes over the jetties and into the international market.
(Sorry to be dull, accurate and not-sweary)
dunfesterin' ...
When we wake up, and we advise you that you are leaving, we will in the kindness of our hearts, let you keep "the oil".
We'll simply fire your MPs from here, and stop sending you cash.
You're a great country, os you have said from the time of the terrorists Wallace and Bruce, both of whom went against the majority of your (then) votariat. Perhaps you should have not listened to Wallis and Grommit back then.....
Go, leave, be a great country again, be what you all say you are, for once in your lives.
Whingeing toads. Off with their heads. (And they can keep the blasted oil.)
dunfesterin - if you can tear yourself away from the no doubt arduous task of demolishing the first slice of deep fried pizza of the day, washed down with a small bottle of Tennant's Super, take a quick look at the North Sea on Google Earth and note carefully where the oilfields are. You will no doubt be astounded to note that many of the most productive rigs lie in English waters, a fact not often brought to the attention of chaps like you, probably out of an English sense of pity, pity for people that consider it normal spending money on pointless projects like the £ 11.6million Shetland Museum and Archive.
Look out for the stuffed ballot boxes next Thursday/Friday...
Dunfesterin - 11.53
When Scotland becomes independent and loses the vast subsidy it gets from English taxes you'll be begging us to buy your oil...
Gordo does not live in Kirkcaldy. He lives in North Queensferry, and the armed police patrol vehicle is a source of constant amusement to the locals!
His nearest petrol stations are:
2 in South Queensferry, assuming he can get across the bridge (roadworks)
1 in Rosyth (next to the Yard pub, a free fight with every drink)
1 in Dalgety Bay (famous for selling drink to under-age kids and trying to sue the police for catching them out in a sting)
Gordo only visits Kirkcaldy to see Raith Rovers, to dine at his favourite restaurant or to carry out an occasional token public event. His constituency office is in Cowdenbeath, a town he rarely sees and where the Labour MSP's car was attacked by a gang of neds last year.
Petrol stations below:
http://www.yell.com/ucs/UcsSearchAction.do?keywords=petrol+station&location=north+queensferry&broaderLocation=&scrambleSeed=90934622&companyName=&startAt=&mqs=&targetName=&M=1&T=1&clarifyIndex=&clarifyOptions=&filterKeywords=&searchType=advance&startOoaAt=&ooa=&potential=5&lastClarifyOptions=&lastClarifyIndex=&lastSearchall=&lastKeyword=&selectedClassification=&ssm=0
john d off his rockerfella:
'(Sorry to be dull, accurate and not-sweary)'
Well try fucking harder. Nearly fell asleep reading your post, jesus!
TUSCAN TONY SAID...
if you can tear yourself away from the no doubt arduous task of demolishing the first slice of deep fried pizza of the day, washed down with a small bottle of Tennant's Super
Mr T ,
said beverage comes in cans not bottles, this is to help the inebriated Jock/tramp to neck the lot ,stood outside a railway station shouting abuse at English people all whilst wearing a pair of fingerless mittens and piss stained troosers, plus has the added advantage of not shattering when dropped on the long winding road back to the tennements/cardboard boxes that our tartan wearin' pals call home.
You have spent far too long exposed to the civilised drinking habits of Homosexual Italians.
Without wishing to detract from the overall tone of your comment Mr B, in Italy:
1) Tennant's Super is for some mysterious reason the drink of choice of the cogniscenti, who labour under the misapprehension that it is a sophisticated North British brew (the Tuscan has worked to undo this myth but to no avail "Seen Conneeery - he drinka Supa!")
2) it is indeed served in bottles here, though apologies for assuming that was also the case in Jockland.
*returns to bottle of Harviestoun Old Engine Oil*
Stuff oil. 4pints of milk now £1.34 at ASDA. Was only £1.04 before Christmas! Thats a 30% increase in one quarter! It'll be double the price by the end of the year if this keeps up.
Tuscan tony and all the other English people - at least when us jocks are drunk we aren't violent like your football supporters are.
Your mob get tanked up and start fights with women and children, but as we have seen once men come into the fray, you back down like the cowards you are.
When Scotland becomes independent, and it will, may I have the privilege of being the first man to punch an English invader off the face for not bringing his passport to Hadrians wall.
Face it, Scotland has a better way of life than your police state and always will.
Yours deep-fryingly,
Scott
Dunfesterin said...
Arf arf, when Scotland becomes independent you won't get ANY oil from us, get used to it ya effeminate English poofs!!
You'l be the first i'm gonna dry bum bang you scotch cunt!
"at least when us jocks are drunk we aren't violent like your football supporters are."
followed by:-
"When Scotland becomes independent may I have the privilege of being the first man to punch an English invader"
Ah, so you don't actually need the alcohol to be violent, is that what you're saying?
Anyway, I look forward to seeing England achieving independence from Scotland too, so I'm on your side. I'm sure England will be so much better once the jock MPs have stopped meddling with England's immigration laws.
I am sure Scotland will achieve greatness once again, just as it was before it volunteered to join the union. World-shaking, in fact. Like that other great Celtic nation: Cornwall.
Dunfesterin - "punch an English invader off the face for not bringing his passport to Hadrians wall". Hadrians Wall, stretching as it does from carlisle to Sunderland/Nwecastle, is largely in England, as any fule kno. I therefore presume you will be acting covertly and "under the covers", if I may quote Inspector Clouseau. However I concede your point re English behaviour whilst drunk. It has much in common with Sean Connery in the presence of the fairer sex, according to the man hisself, if I recall correctly.
Dry bum me? Yes, about the level I would expect from an effeminate Englishman... there's more queers and nonces per capita in England than in ANY OTHER country in the world - FACT
Secondly, I dont care where Hadrian's wall is. If Hadrians wall laid in London I would not give a fuck. I would have the other side of it anyway, and slaughter anyone who didnt sound as if he knew what a "bawbag" or a "diddy ride" was. More Lebensraum for us Scots. Admit it you like us lot anyway, we rule you and always will.
As for you Tony, are you jealous of Sir Sean? He's 70 odd now and had more minge on his finger than your rancid wee English nob has been inside. Dunno about anus though, you probably win on that count.
Mr. Connery's a top bloke who is probably right now squitting his pants, quaking at the recollection of his seemed-like-a-very-long shot promise all those years ago to move back to Scotland from Barbados/Spain/wherever in the event of independence. And, yes, I am indeed jealous of the fellow, as I am of the many excellent Scots I know and count as friends. Don't see why as a nation they keep having to go ca in hand to Johnny Englander for his cash, though, thats all.
Dunfesterin said:
'Dry bum me? Yes, about the level I would expect from an effeminate Englishman... there's more queers and nonces per capita in England than in ANY OTHER country in the world - FACT'
Fuck me Its David Brent. FACT! Sorry, i forgor to add, the dry
bumming; it will be with the rough end of a pineapple. My boyfriend loves it!
Now run along sweetheart, sorry braveheart, daddy is waiting!
As for you Tony, are you jealous of Sir Sean? He's 70 odd now and had more minge on his finger than your rancid wee English nob has been inside.
He's not a real Scotchman. Real Scotchmen preferring stabbing each other to sex.
Scotchland worst for violence - UN
[Img: Slashed face]
Scotchland has been named the most violent country in the developed world by a United Nations report... "We have been doing extensive research into violent crime in Scotchland for some years now and these have shown that in the vast majority of cases, victims of violent crime are known to each other."
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/4257966.stm
England's high too -- because of all the Scotch living there.
Any thoughts on running one's fiesta on paraffin or kerosene?
The septics (tanks - Yanks) have a good fucking laugh at us £1.25 per litre, equates to £4.38 per US gallon, or in green backs $8.66 per gallon; they are kicking up a fuss in California with gas at $3.70!!!!!!!!!
We are fuck stupid for putting up with this twat; he's not even a twat, twats are useful.
Contrary to the opinions of stupid people it's actualy the Government's tax on petrol that makes the price so high here in England.Sorry disappoint
those who hate oil companies but oil is running out and the dolllar is tanking. Prices are going to go through the roof!
Two points:-
1. Rix petroleum, a Hull company, is or was under the control of the Rix family, one of whom is Lord Rix, Bryan to his friends, of the Whitehall farce.
Is this another whitehall farce?
2. The only two good things to come out of Scotland are the roads and the railway.
Och aye the noo laddie, Donald where's me troosers. Youse looking at me cunt etc etc Jockland is great. I love going there, as in common with any other third world shit hole, it makes you good coming back to England, which is at least a second world shit hole.
Hark at the lardy englandistaners; no oil, no future and no hope. A third-world country, with many cities now under immigrant control. Oh, englandistan, my englandistan...
Get real you tory twats; we rule you, and it was ever thus. Wannabee capitalists with the brains of a fucking rocking-horse.
No more Scottish oil for you cunts, and if you want to fight for it, come on down; none of you tossers could fight sleep.
It's Scotland's oil. You lot get fuck all once we are independent.
Fucking delicious!
fucking delicious:
This deluded scotch cunt is now a serious threat to TAT shat for the prize of spouting the most shit on the blog!
In the Islamic Republic of Englandistan, the blind are ruled by the (half) blind. This pleases me so much; hundreds of years of your polluting the world with your shit finally comes home to roost.
God fuck y'all.
And dwell on this; It's Scotland's oil. (and oil is, indeed, black gold)
Fucking delicious!
Actually its mostly BP's oil, not Scotland's. Then again I doubt that a maladjusted mentally incompetent like you would understand that.
A Bank Holiday is coming up - the calls not to 'panic buy' will fall on deaf ears - it has already started in earnest, and now that the 'red top reading' classes have cottoned on, it looks like pictures of queues at petrol stations will be on the front pages as people go to the polling stations on Mayday !!
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