As they waited for the lift engineer to arrive, Gordon attempted to calm things down with a rousing rendition of 'You're a better man than I am, Gunga Din.'
They seek him here, they seek him there, His clothes are loud, but never square. It will make or break him so he's got to buy the best, 'Cause he's a dedicated follower of fashion.
And when he does his little rounds, 'Round the boutiques of London Town, Eagerly pursuing all the latest fads and trends, 'Cause he's a dedicated follower of fashion.
Oh yes he is (oh yes he is), oh yes he is (oh yes he is). He thinks he is a flower to be looked at, And when he pulls his frilly nylon panties right up tight, He feels a dedicated follower of fashion.
Oh yes he is (oh yes he is), oh yes he is (oh yes he is). There's one thing that he loves and that is flattery. One week he's in polka-dots, the next week he is in stripes. 'Cause he's a dedicated follower of fashion.
The PMOS explained that when the Prime Minister asked a passerby to tickle his Balls, he meant the Education Secretary, who was at the time looking glum.
Mr Brown, what would you say is the most important thing your country can do to assist our great nation in furthering its development into a First World economy?
Gordon Brown:
Did you know I can fit 2 deep-fried Mars Bars into my mouth at the same time? Look, let me show you.
ps all the low paid who snotty so royally screwed got paid today wonder how bad the next poll will be.I did my best to explain how they are all worse off so the owner can have his new jag seemed to go down badly not sure why.I went on to point out the local elections were a good way to protest.l
I will take no lectures on how hot I like my curries from anyone from the party opposite who presided over nineteen wasted years of mild chicken madrases.
As part of the deal for Angela Smith not resigning Gordon sings the Paul Simon hit..
"50 ways to leave your Leader"
chorus You just slip out the back, Jack get off the phone,Digby-Jones Take to the hoof, Ruth leave him in June, Hoon get a new pal, Al You just need to be brave, Dave Just get yourself free
Hop on the tram, Harman You do your best,Admiral West Take the ferry, Gerry Just drop off the key, Lee Leave the den, Ken Take the bet, Yvette Jump out of bed, Ed
And get yourself free, Angela Smith do you hear me.. There are...50 ways to leave your Leader, Yes, 50 ways to leave New labour..
Gordon's spiritual advised tells him to "scream" to wash away all his doubts, insecurities and to begin rebuilding his self-confidence and self-esteem. ....this photo was taken 17 hours later as the screaming continued
Brown's singing: We're in the money, we're in the money; We've got a lot of what it takes to get along! We're in the money, that sky is sunny, Old Man Depression you are through, you done us wrong. We never see a headline about breadlines today. And when we see the landlord we can look that guy right in the eye We're in the money, come on, my honey, Let's lend it, spend it, send it rolling along!
"Oh, bloody blimey. I could behead him in no time. His external jugular vein is looking at me, and I could be stabbing it in very quick time, to make much people in England very happy"
Gordon strained every sinew in his body yet had to finally admit defeat. The annual Auchtermuchty Bear Growing championship would not be his for at least another year.
Turban- Look into my eyes, not around the eyes but into my eyes and....sleep. What do you see?
GB- I see the economy in the shit, falling house prices, massacre at the may elections, cunts on Guido callimg me a snot gobbling freaky bent cunt and.......ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I'm 10 again...and daddy's coming in dry!
The Prime minister gets his Simpson characters impressions muddled up.
"Back in 1998 we called them communists. They would donate money to the Labour party in large concrete bags and call them 'Trade Union Incentives' The Prime Minister back then was Anthony Wedgewood Benn. He invented the Concorde and also a car powered by his own sense of smug self satisfaction. It could go 179mph.. The fax machine, or Scrubooger as we called it was coming into widespread use as..ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ"
{Beardie thinks] This is the worst Apu Nahasapeemapetilon Ive ever heard
Sikh(to other sikh): "I am not knowing what this werry foolish man is singing about. He says it to do with nessum doormats. We must buy some for the shop - jaldy, jaldy"
Sikh guy: 'Sahib, I can make the male private part of which you dream appear. You must go to the mountain and when you return you must lie every time you speak.'
Gordon was furious with that bloody escort agency. He had asked for an Asian twink and look what they had sent him. It looked as if it would be another night in with Davina Milipede and half a pound of Lurpak again.
Fakir says to yawning fukr, no, you have to be able to do genuine magic, not pretend that you have an economy under control for several years and then take the top job just as the house of cards collapses around your lazy ass!
Sikh guy: "Listen Gordon, you don't have to open your mouth that wide, just take out your glass eye, that way you can give me a BJ and whistle 'Dixie' at the same time!
Gordon and Ed thought they had completed their official business for the day - they were in for a surprise when they opened their eyes and realised the Sikh community leader had stumbled upon their private engagement.
Sikh man.I was 12yrs old when he started this speech about how strong the economy is and he still hasn't made sense.The country he speaks of no longer exists and tony blair is the president pope of the world.
Archbishop of Canterbury says "Do you know that Balls is fucking Ken over on Dale's caption competition". Moron replies "Bastard Dale has pinched by idea about pinching other peoples ideas".
Mrs Dale has an interesting pic worthy of a caption, and here we have Frankie Howard and that bloke off the old Camp Coffee logo...... what's that all about ?
GURU: Now that you're fully relaxed, you must imagine that you are the prime Minister; you can be authoritive, masterful and fully in charge of events. (Removes beard) It's no good Tel, we're going to have to use the electronic stuff.
He decided to practice his new hit single 'Gordon is a Muezzin', which was to be released to coincide with the imposition of shariah law on the people of Britainistan.
The next thing that comes out of your cunting scottish mouth better be interesting and not the usual snot otherwise I get very unceremonial with this dagger. Got it!!!!!
Sikh: "You fool, you have stepped into our trap. We have waited 89 years for this moment. This is pay-back time for the Massacre of Amritsar. Cut his balls off"
Broon: "Heeelllp! They're going to emasculate me!"
144 comments:
Gay Gordon takes lessons in the Kama Sutra
Brown hires Rasputin for spiritual guidance through troubled times
The Prime Minister denies the banking crisis is responsible for cut backs in the use of colour print in photographs.
Beardie "Varisakhi?"
Gordon "Handy?"
"Four hours he has held that pose. Fakir? More like a Faker."
It was difficult, but Gordon had almost managed to smuggle the Olympic torch safely through Kasmir.
Gordon Brown chants the holy Sikh scriptures that it is hoped will remove the ancient "Jonah" curse placed upon him by Mrs Cherie Blair.
NHS dentistry had hit a new low.
Gordon: "Is that the olympic torch or are you just pleased to see me?"
Vlad the Impaler puts Gordon's head on a stick.
"Please feed the hungry mouths..." pleads UK PM
One swallow doen't make a summer.
Gordon thought long and hard about the most appropriate way to commemorate the 40th anniversary of the 'rivers of blood speech'.
Cleric looks on in horror as Brown prepares to greet Douglas Alexander.
As they waited for the lift engineer to arrive, Gordon attempted to calm things down with a rousing rendition of 'You're a better man than I am, Gunga Din.'
Now cough please Mr Brown.
Sikh gentleman: "Fakir! Off!"
(apologies to Talbot Rothwell)
Brown endorses Tower Hamlets' PC alternative to Santa Claus.
Ever the master of disguise, Osama readied himself to strike a dagger at the heart of evil . . .
- now please be going a little more down... are you feeling it now?
They seek him here, they seek him there,
His clothes are loud, but never square.
It will make or break him so he's got to buy the best,
'Cause he's a dedicated follower of fashion.
And when he does his little rounds,
'Round the boutiques of London Town,
Eagerly pursuing all the latest fads and trends,
'Cause he's a dedicated follower of fashion.
Oh yes he is (oh yes he is), oh yes he is (oh yes he is).
He thinks he is a flower to be looked at,
And when he pulls his frilly nylon panties right up tight,
He feels a dedicated follower of fashion.
Oh yes he is (oh yes he is), oh yes he is (oh yes he is).
There's one thing that he loves and that is flattery.
One week he's in polka-dots, the next week he is in stripes.
'Cause he's a dedicated follower of fashion.
Brown: 'By christ, I was bursting . . . needed that . . .'
Turban: 'Don't forget to sheik it.'
Gordon seeks further help to overcome his halitosis
George Street, did you ever get your money from that nice African chap?
From a Chinaman looking for his bucket of shit.
Gordo sikhs a National Health Service dentist.
Ghost of Ian Smith
What a Ravi Shankar!
No when I make the insertion I want you to close your mouth gently and suck.
"Oh God, that's real varrlllue!"
H H H H HELP PPPPPPP !!!!
''Tell me, is deep rectal massage a Sikh tradition?, and can i bite your fingernails?''
Beardie: "That'd better not be my cock you're thinking of!"
The PMOS explained that when the Prime Minister asked a passerby to tickle his Balls, he meant the Education Secretary, who was at the time looking glum.
Invisible man outed.
No ! urhhh ! Polly !! wait till we get back to my office ...
After 48 years on his routemaster, Gobinda Daz wasn't going to stand any messing from pissed-up Scots on the top deck.
I can't wait to behead yo and chop you up for cat meat, you Scotch cunt! Remeber who's fucking Country this is, infidel!
Even Cherie couldn't get it open as wide as this.
Thinks... "Christ, I even bore myself"
Brown began to wonder if his guru was as good a shag as Carol Caplin was.
Indian Prime Minister:
Mr Brown, what would you say is the most important thing your country can do to assist our great nation in furthering its development into a First World economy?
Gordon Brown:
Did you know I can fit 2 deep-fried Mars Bars into my mouth at the same time? Look, let me show you.
Old Sikh man realizes that ed balls is invisible.
ps all the low paid who snotty so royally screwed got paid today wonder how bad the next poll will be.I did my best to explain how they are all worse off so the owner can have his new jag seemed to go down badly not sure why.I went on to point out the local elections were a good way to protest.l
I think I'm going to be Sikh
I will take no lectures on how hot I like my curries from anyone from the party opposite who presided over nineteen wasted years of mild chicken madrases.
There's no snot in there.
As part of the deal for Angela Smith not resigning Gordon sings the Paul Simon hit..
"50 ways to leave your Leader"
chorus
You just slip out the back, Jack
get off the phone,Digby-Jones
Take to the hoof, Ruth
leave him in June, Hoon
get a new pal, Al
You just need to be brave, Dave
Just get yourself free
Hop on the tram, Harman
You do your best,Admiral West
Take the ferry, Gerry
Just drop off the key, Lee
Leave the den, Ken
Take the bet, Yvette
Jump out of bed, Ed
And get yourself free,
Angela Smith do you hear me..
There are...50 ways to leave your Leader, Yes, 50 ways to leave New labour..
[repeat to fade into history]
Gordon's spiritual advised tells him to "scream" to wash away all his doubts, insecurities and to begin rebuilding his self-confidence and self-esteem.
....this photo was taken 17 hours later as the screaming continued
Gordo experiences cathartic screaming
"I'm doing it my way"
I'm here in India, but do you know?
I think I'm turning Japanese.
BBC admits error in reporting: Brown Breath was mistaken for Euro Whiff....
http://newsvote.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7354538.stm
Beardy: Why couldn't we get Blair?
Bearded Doctor: "Say अ"
Hide and Sikh.
And that, great Guru, is how I stop the gag reflex from kicking in when I take Ed Balls all the way to his balls.
Gordon engages with the local traditions, such as the anciant Indian game of "nibble my nose".
If he doesn't wake up soon, this could get very messy indeed.
Mr Singh was perturbed, but kept a polite and dignified silence..
"who was this idiot singing in his shop? No, he did not have any 'ready rolled' nose tobacco, OR any small wooden horses on skids... WTF?" he thought
now if only that other idiot in a stab vest would fuck off...
"Which way is Mecca again?"
Sikh: That's it. As soon as they get the fruit out open your mouth wide.
Your training for your post political role as a circus elephant is now complete, Mr Brown.
A Sikh gent demonstrates where he can place his little dagger on (up?) Bean's anatomy.
Gordon wonders if pretending to behead his 5 most loyal cabinet colleagues will usher in a new era of labour membership
Gordon was badly briefed again when he started the Muslim call to prayer at the local sikh temple.
Gordo: Oooh, I feel sikh
"Yes, I remember the fuss they made over this in the newspapers - bovine, white, with fanatical worshippers who didn't want it put down...."
I've started, so I'll finish.
"KNIFE the Pope? Ha ha ha ha ha!!!"
Brown's singing:
We're in the money, we're in the money;
We've got a lot of what it takes to get along!
We're in the money, that sky is sunny,
Old Man Depression you are through, you done us wrong.
We never see a headline about breadlines today.
And when we see the landlord we can look that guy right in the eye
We're in the money, come on, my honey,
Let's lend it, spend it, send it rolling along!
You flick it, and I'll catch it...
"Don't you think he looks tired?"
Can't get a NHS dentist to take me on. Can you arrange to have my molar fixed whilst I am here?
It will help me to keep talking through my back teeth.
Small boy: "Is that a fakir father"
Father: "That's no way to talk about our snot gobbler"
Gordon "I'm good at swallowing swords"
Guru "Only pork ones I'll wager"
Does he always sleep with his mouth open?
On being asked wht he did whenever there was a "Balls Up", Gordon did what came naturally.
Brown - I am Jonah, your god will die now.
And that's thats how i got to be Tony's best friend.
Jonah: "This is the new candidate for Crewe."
Ready when you are, Ed
Stop press: Balls in youth club fisting shocker
http://i.thisislondon.co.uk/i/pix/2008/04/ken_ballAP1804_415x275.jpg
Jonah Brown visits temple to court muslim vote.
There was just time to do his quick hoage to Freddie and he could be away from the temple and back home in time for a quick nostril supper.
homage, even.
What is it with Brown and beards?
Harriet Harman's new look fails to impress PM.
Sikh geezer with the beard thinks:
"Oh, bloody blimey. I could behead him in no time. His external jugular vein is looking at me, and I could be stabbing it in very quick time, to make much people in England very happy"
'Boned PM' - the Boney M tribute group. Barmitzvahs, weddings, funerals and children's parties.
Gordon strained every sinew in his body yet had to finally admit defeat. The annual Auchtermuchty Bear Growing championship would not be his for at least another year.
Guru blows huge cloud of ganja right through PM's head.
Gordon shows that it's not just snot that he gobbles
Indian exorcist forces ectoplasm out of PMs ear.
'Oh, goodness me, Prime Minister! You are indeed singing like a bitch. We make Bollywood star of you yet!'
Sikh Gentleman: His eyes are shut...just one swift slice with my kirpan and all our problems will be over!
Unknown man sucks invisible cock.
Turban- Look into my eyes, not around the eyes but into my eyes and....sleep.
What do you see?
GB- I see the economy in the shit, falling house prices, massacre at the may elections, cunts on Guido callimg me a snot gobbling freaky bent cunt and.......ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I'm 10 again...and daddy's coming in dry!
The Prime minister gets his Simpson characters impressions muddled up.
"Back in 1998 we called them communists. They would donate money to the Labour party in large concrete bags and call them 'Trade Union Incentives'
The Prime Minister back then was Anthony Wedgewood Benn. He invented the Concorde and also a car powered by his own sense of smug self satisfaction. It could go 179mph.. The fax machine, or Scrubooger as we called it was coming into widespread use as..ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ"
{Beardie thinks] This is the worst Apu Nahasapeemapetilon Ive ever heard
But I've already got a beard.
Guru
"and they all say I look like a cunt!"
Gordon couldn't decide whether to see the Pope or Obama so he went for a compromise
Cough.
Man facing camera -
"I've been standing here waiting since I was clean shaven, for this git to say something useful"
AM
"Vincero,
Vinceeeeeeeeroooooooooooooo!"
Sikh(to other sikh): "I am not knowing what this werry foolish man is singing about. He says it to do with nessum doormats. We must buy some for the shop - jaldy, jaldy"
After consulting Guru Rokin-Hors Brown still hasn't got the smile right
Stephen Carter's team fuck up again as Gordon attends the ceremony wearing a yarmulke skull cap
...and when my assistant steps on your other toe...
Sikh and tired
Sikh guy: 'Sahib, I can make the male private part of which you dream appear.
You must go to the mountain and when you return you must lie every time you speak.'
"I just have to close my eyes to imagine kissing Carla all over again...! "
For what he is about to receive may The Gord be truly thankful.
Retribution came swiftly from The Arsenal Fan Club (New Delhi Branch) after Gordon's jinxed visit to the Emirates Stadium fucked up their season.
Gordon was furious with that bloody escort agency. He had asked for an Asian twink and look what they had sent him. It looked as if it would be another night in with Davina Milipede and half a pound of Lurpak again.
Fakir says to yawning fukr, no, you have to be able to do genuine magic, not pretend that you have an economy under control for several years and then take the top job just as the house of cards collapses around your lazy ass!
"I can see through your lies."
Sikh guy: "Listen Gordon, you don't have to open your mouth that wide, just take out your glass eye, that way you can give me a BJ and whistle 'Dixie' at the same time!
Gordon and Ed thought they had completed their official business for the day - they were in for a surprise when they opened their eyes and realised the Sikh community leader had stumbled upon their private engagement.
Mr Singh despaired ~ Gordon had completely fucked up his trial for a fielding position in The Batty Boy Eleven.
im im im going to the country
wheres india?
Sikh man.I was 12yrs old when he started this speech about how strong the economy is and he still hasn't made sense.The country he speaks of no longer exists and tony blair is the president pope of the world.
only the crumbliest flakiest chocolate........
"I can't hear you, I can't hear you, laaa laaa laaa"
Archbishop of Canterbury says "Do you know that Balls is fucking Ken over on Dale's caption competition".
Moron replies "Bastard Dale has pinched by idea about pinching other peoples ideas".
Spam, spam, spam, spam,
Spam,spam, spam spam,
Spaaaaaaaaaaam, glorious spaaaaaaam!
For younger viewers:
Terry Jones in full voice.
there was on old lady that swallowed a fly , i dont why she sollowed a fly .
or
gordon tries ecnomic crisis warning fog horn , but follows through in his pants instead .
Mr Singh delighted in seeing Gordon's reaction to his extra strength Rogan Josh.
Man Singh and Mincing?
Snotgobbler;
oi Abdul - I ordered a korma not a fucking vindallo!
Mr Sikh;
Fuck off cunt
Mrs Dale has an interesting pic worthy of a caption, and here we have Frankie Howard and that bloke off the old Camp Coffee logo......
what's that all about ?
Just what is it that gay gordon has on his head?
The Mullah is saying, "Ah, another western cocksucker."
The International Muezzin Competition 2008.
Bored stiff by his own speech.....
The Prime Minister makes statement about NHS Dentistry.
GURU: Now that you're fully relaxed, you must imagine that you are the prime Minister; you can be authoritive, masterful and fully in charge of events.
(Removes beard) It's no good Tel, we're going to have to use the electronic stuff.
Jonah impresses with his (extra ordinary) rendition of Land of Hope and Glory, a la the end of It ain't 'alf hot mum.
ALLAH AKBARRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Mr Hyde, and Sikh.
He decided to practice his new hit single 'Gordon is a Muezzin', which was to be released to coincide with the imposition of shariah law on the people of Britainistan.
The Sikh bloke said 'Let's just nuke the fecker.'
The next thing that comes out of your cunting scottish mouth better be interesting and not the usual snot otherwise I get very unceremonial with this dagger. Got it!!!!!
Sikh Karaoke
Gerrup to Singh
Ghost of Ian Smith
They sikh hime here,
They sikh hime there,
Those muftis seek him everywhere;
Is he in heaven?
Is he in hell?
That damned elusive infidel.
Sikh: "You fool, you have stepped into our trap. We have waited 89 years for this moment. This is pay-back time for the Massacre of Amritsar. Cut his balls off"
Broon: "Heeelllp! They're going to emasculate me!"
Balls: "So what?"
I'm all for cultural diversity, but has membership of the White Heather Club got a bit broad these days?
Broon (singing) "Och, Gavinder where's yer troosers?"
"And this is how Johnny Weismuller" did it....