Where's Gordon?™ "PM Got Lost" Says Her Majesty
Remember when he locked himself in a bathroom and had to be rescued by Blair? Or when he first became PM and was found at 5 a.m. downstairs in his dressing gown by armed police who had rushed to the scene outside his office after he forgot his security code? Mr Bean is the best description.
66 comments:
what a total loser. brown is just a figure of fun these days.
come out gordon and fuck off!
I think this tells us all we need to know about Her Majesty's opinion of that complete fucktard who we must, for form's sake, call our Prime Minister but who, in reality, couldn't hack it as the social secretary of a students' union.
For the love of God (or your deity of choice), will he not just fuck off and leave us all in peace? (Preferably taking his rabble of untalented and over-promoted imbeciles with him.)
He's such a muppet. How embarrassing for the Queen. I trust Brown made a full apology.
It was a mis quote
Actually the Queen said
'P.M. - Get lost'
This is great news. I've been praying that Brown would get lost for years.
Now the head of my religion reveals that he has!
All I can say is 'Not before time Ma'am'
He was probably picking and flicking to his heart's content in one of Brenda's toilets.
The turd.
He was dithering about whether or not to attend. Then he got lost and was found in the dungeons. What I want to know is, when is the fucker who found him getting his kicking!! Stupid bastard!!
It was rather endearing, seeing the Queen's evident delight in telling Princess Anne.
The image of someone who takes himself so absolutely seriously managing to get lost finding his chair must have amused her. What a plonker he must have felt.
The Queen's known as a very good judge of character...
P.S. I wish he WOULD get lost. Permanently.
Guido, you beat me to it. I was going to suggest this after reading about it on the "Mail's" site.
The official line is that it was all the Palace's fault and they incompetently misdirected Gordon. (So weak!) Methinks shades of the row over the role of Blair at the Queen Mum's funeral: who do you believe - the Palace or NuLiar?
Not forgetting the day when he went to school with his left trouser leg tucked into his sock.
This was also the same day he revealed He was never any good at Maths.
Rowan Atkinson has serious competition.
Ha ha... What a classic.
The most respected public figure in the UK, Her Brittanic Majesty no less - and a very polite lady to boot, thinks the PM is a fuckwit.
As Princess Anne would say, Fuck Orf Brown!!
Perhaps it's understandable and clearly demonstrable that he will not permit himself to be surrounded by anyone visibly more capable than himself – and it obviously extends to his ministerial drivers. Bet he knows exactly how many miles to the Emirates Stadium, though, and how it’s has reduced by 10% since he came into office. Queen seems delighted, btw.
Why oh Why. 1.52pm
In that news item Brown is also quoted as saying.
Asked by the BBC if he supported Manchester as the site of Britain's first supercasino, Mr Brown said: "That's what I voted for but unfortunately the House of Lords has set it back.
"I voted for it and I want to see it go through. We have to resolve this."
Another of Brown's lies then
"Well the prime minister got lost. He disappeared the wrong way…at the crucial moment".
Where have we heard that before?
He wasn't lost. He was hanging about the Gents hoping to bump into a footman.
Why the surprise? We all know this cunt couldn't find his own arsehole with both hands.
Speaking of finding people's arseholes with both hands and given the vast numbers of turd-burglars in the palace, does one wonder if there was a spot of Clinton-like dalliance (mutatis mutandis) behind a handy tapestry before dinner? Might explain the crusted lips and badder than normal breath this morning blasting on the fragrant Carla.
But Armageddon approaches - even the normally whipped in, arse-licking, time serving, spineless, useless, shower of shit quartet of Newcastle members who habitually fart their way north on the 5:00 from Kings Cross on a Wednesday (the weekend begins here)grunting and slurping from the trough in the first class dining car on a £343 pound Dine -and Go ticket were sufficiently emboldened last night to discuss the "Anthony Eden" gambit- retirement through ill health, strain on one good eye etc, etc, -well deserved peerage (clock on at 11 piss off at 10 past -collect allowance). Much ribald amusement and speculation about rubber lips Straw. Apparently Milburn is lurking and the Millipedes are poised to mobilise. Apparently the reward for support will be mopping up all the Northern Rock jobsworths into an expanded DSS (or whatever it's called)set up at Longbenton -an attractive proposition for votes and the security of all the buy to rent property this lot have around there.
Loose lips not only suck cocks but sink ships, lads!
Did he turn up in a lounge suit?
Any pics anywhere?
OH MY GOD ! ! ! The Copper can't believe what he is seeing, neither can I.
The Queen was at one stage overheard to ask: "Has the Prime Minister got lost?" after Mr Brown failed to appear alongside the two heads of state at the start of last night's dinner.
As the monarch looked around for him, Mr Sarkozy could be seen pointing out the Prime Minister to his wife Carla, saying with a smile: "That's Gay Gordon."
It actually went like this
Horse-faced daught: "Wheres that wossisname - you know, the utterly twuntish minging noseminer of an unelected Prime Minister got to mummy, he might be lost?"
Brenda; "So what?"
I like the video..
HM "Hello, who are you?"
NS "I'm Nicolas Sarközy"
HM "And what do you do?"
NS " I'm President of France"
HM "Do you enjoy being President?"
NS "Not really.."
HM "I know what you mean. We have a Prime Minister in the United Kingdom. The pay is not much, but then again he isn't very good. Do try the fish"
NS "Did you see my friend? He said to met him here.He said he was the Prime Minister, but I am not sure he was? Maybe someone is playing a trick on me?"
HM "Could be."
NS "Now I think about it he introduced me to a grubby drunk pimp in a flasher mac. He said this is the Mayor of London.Then he said this other man was the minister for schools. Why would you have a Home Office, an education minister and then a minister for schools? Heck, now I can't find my wallet !!"
Gordon is such a Knob ... and the queen never learns with these radio mikes ...
The PM certainly DID get lost. The slimy little bugger has absolutely revolting table manners and was supposed to have partaken of his grub in the kitchen, along with the rest of the staff. The primary problem with Brown is that one just doesn't know where his fingers have been...
Now, in contrast, take that nice Monsieur Sarposy, for an example...
Corrrr I would. Right up one's royal refuse chute. Unfortunately, due to demands of protocol, Nicolas has so far only let one wank him off under the table. Dual celebrations would have been quite in order and far preferable, but, although one has become a dab hand at noshing one-pawed on these occasions, both arms in absentia might well have aroused some cumment - so one did oneself immediately thereafter of course.
Must remember to have one's gloves laundered today.
Classic !! You couldn't make it up !!
Shades of 'The President's Brain Is Missing' on Spitting Image all those years ago...
Brick Shithouse: You could be on to something. The repellent Milburn gave an interview with The Speccy this week. It's the first time he has been let out since Blair went.
Anony @ 2:25...
That is a brilliant picture!
What the hell is he trying to do to her, suck her face??
I know he's not used to being that close to a woman, but for fucks sake... what a freak!
Yes, but I was not as lost as the toff member opposite, who although voted in favour of getting lost only last month, has then subsequently flip-floped and now opposes getting lostitude. Our record in this and the economic brilliant strategy have led to significant reduction of Bean like behavour, which as we can all recall, pre 1997 led to black wednesday. And we all know which toff was in charge of negotiating the corridors of Windsor on that particular day.
The flagship UK is under my particular stewardship, we will never falter and please, I want to make sure you plebs remember, I feel your pain.
Vote for me , vote for my vishion, vote early and vote as often as you can (one immigrant identity looks just the same as any other) brothers sisters cousins, use any identity you like (we conveiniently lost them all some time back).
No manifesto pledges this time, just vote and trust in me and my imbicilic and cretinous cabinet. Oh and don't listen to Guido and co, let Toilets Marr, Polly and Knee-pads guide you.
Fuck off you lot.Its hard work being Prime Mongster, I was getting rid of the stress I am burdened with every day, you know, closet gay, son of the fucking manse bollocks by masturbating furiously over the gold plated shit house seat.
Yes, what the hell is he doing in that picture?
You'd almost imagine that he's never kiss a woman before.
And why were his eyes closed? Was he trying to make it more romantic, or pretend he was kissing a bloke?
Very very odd.
Brown's on the tabs for depression- give him an effing break.
Talk about getting lost. Where's the Mencken post gone?
Judging by the picture linked to at 2:25, Brown is having one of his bizarre largactil-induced jaw drop spasms at a very unfortunate moment.
the "Anthony Eden" gambit- retirement through ill health, strain on one good eye etc,
At this rate they won't have to. Just wait for three weeks until they are quite sure he's not going to be able to find his way back, then declare him MIA.
Shouldn't there be emails from NuLab drones, saying "This is not funny at all, Tory Boys. And don't you know that Happiness is up 86% and unhappiness is down 32.6% since 1997."
I hope you haven't upset them, Guido.
In that photo, look at the policeman's face... it's like he is wondering if he might need to step in to stop Gordo from assaulting her.
Also, what the fuck is Gordo doing with his right hand?!!
What a total freak Gordon Brown is!
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=547168&in_page_id=1770&in_page_id=1770&ct=5&expand=true#StartComments
The photo at the bottom where Brown is kicking the ball like a ball...nice to see Sarko and Arsene laughing at him!
Downing Street has insisted Gordon Brown was just "doing what he was told
Nothing is ever Gordans fault.
Remember those kids books called "Where's Wally"? There would be a scene in the book with hundreds of people and you had to find little Wally. Maybe we could do the same with Gorgon?
We could have a picture of hundreds of people and ask "Where's Wally, sorry Gordon?". "oh there is, poor chap. Wandering off into the public toilets with that confused look on his face"
We could have a picture of hundreds of people and ask "Where's Wally, sorry Gordon?". "oh there is, poor chap. Wandering off into the public toilets with that confused look on his face"
And spunk dripping off his chin.
Perhaps Gordon was doing his McCavity Act or at least his excavating of a nasal cavity act.
So much for a moral compass, yon scunner Broown couldne find his way out of a wet paper bag.
I heard that it was all down to a misunderstanding when a footman literally interpreted Broon's request that he be "taken up the back passage". It's noticeable that Broon has not been seen seated in the newsreels since. Brick shithouse may have a point - I always miss that train as I have to get off at Durham.
whats the odds on no election & what are the odds of a military coup?
might as well make a little cash..
Any prospect of Gordon hosting his eagerly hoped for Manse-style key party (i.e. where he gets to bag Nico) with the couple this evening have gone due West after that 2.25pm anon-flagged pic was published.
Presumably it'll be the usual quick shandy followed by a small Cuban fag for the PM tonight then.
Anon 4.09
Also, what the fuck is Gordo doing with his right hand?!!
Looks like he just ejaculated and had to contain the mess. Maybe he just found out what Girls and boys are meant for. So much for the Frankenstein Bill and artificial sprogs.
Before
After
i think he got lost !
yes somewhere near democracy and dictatorship junction , took a left turn and ended up in the nettles.
just shows the quality of her maj that makes the weak minded and idealogically corrupt envious.
see daily mash for decription of bruni meet by brown
Just like the signing of the Lisbon Treaty all over again. He was just waiting until they had all gone home and then he could have had the whole room to himself. Or perhaps he was under the table picking up the crumbs - would make a change from picking something else.
Sorry, could someone remind me... which one is the Italian supermodel/singer and which one was known as Derek in her weekend job as a Kwik-Fit tyre mechanic?
http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/03_04/sarahAP2703_468x739.jpg
Windsor Castle is nearly 850 years old. So they have being running state banquets for the best part of 1,000 years.
It is highly unlikely that now, after a millennia of getting it right with menus, seating plans, directions to get to the correct place at the table (important for diplomatic reasons) that they would suddenly now forget all they have learned, drop all their inherited wisdom and choose this moment to give erroneous directions to this, of all Prime Ministers, Gordon Brown.
'E got fucking lost! Why? Because he could not be arsed to follow the directions they gave him.
"Och! I know the way better than these fools! After all, they are only flunkies! And I, am the Prime Minister. I am confident that if I take this turning here, then go down this corridor and turn right I shall be... Oh, fuck! I am lost! And I am hungry! Sooo terribly hungry! I'd better eat some of my bogies for sustenance! Hope I don't get too thirsty as I do not fancy peeing in my shoe and drinking it!
"Hang on! That sounds like a great idea. Snot pie followed by a piss chaser! Delicious!"
And thus it is Gordon Brown who is Pee-minister of Britain.
Anyone who criticises the Queen for speaking about Gordon's Being Lost to Princess Anne must remember this: The Queen was talking to her daughter about a guest of theirs who a: Eats snot in public. And b: Can't even follow simple fucking directions!
And anyone who thinks the Queen "forgot" about the event being fully videoed and miked up really doesn't know the Queen.
I think that was the Queen's way of sending out a Regal distress call to the public and perhaps to Labour?
Gordon Brown. Did you say son of the Manse or that he is an utter Nance?
Anony @ 2:25
Appears to be licking her face, obviously thinks this is a socially acceptable gesture of affection, because in the habit of doing this to Sarah when they play doggies.
But where the FUCK are his hands going?!?!
2.41pm
*Must remember to have one's gloves laundered today.*
Oh no, we haven't been trying to sneak out portions of tartar in our gloves again, have we Ma'am?
Did he get lost, or did he just not want the cameras to see him wearing white tie for once?
no checked hansard queen said "so weak"
11:01 PM
Thank you for taking the trouble to analyse the humour of the situation in such graphic detail.
The confusion arose because Fungus the Prime-Minister saw the instructions for The Queen and thought they where for his Queenship.
Some of the comments on this bog are positively dyslexic - and, as I have some difficulties reading the finer print of treaties and such myself, it makes me absolutely eightship.
Jonah visits the Emirates - Poof! There goes this year's title ambitions!
Me thinks that the Jilted John Lyrics
Were spot on.
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=Y3rD8fUmbRA
Bogeyman 10:01pm
Best gag heard all year. I'd give you a T-shirt myself for that one.
He's now become a laughing stock Stateside.
Mislaid in Britain: Luggage and the Prime Minister
Is there any evidence that brown has been anywhere near Heathrow Terminal Five baggage area?
Guido; please use your text service to tell us where he is 24/7. We can then avoid those areas.
M person of no fixed political abode said...
"And anyone who thinks the Queen "forgot" about the event being fully videoed and miked up really doesn't know the Queen.
I think that was the Queen's way of sending out a Regal distress call to the public and perhaps to Labour?"
I agree with the first bit, it's quite obvious really, because otherwise we'd have heard her saying stuff like "tell that fucking cretin Charles to stop banging on about utter shite" or "Anne!- has your dad farted again?".
But in my view the old Queen (Elizabeth, not Gordon)simply doesn't give a flying fuck. It doesn't matter what party's in power she still gets to live a life of pampered luxury at our expense. It's quite obvious the only minor inconveniences in her life are to be forced to watch the antics of fuckwits like Brown. How she must piss herself at them in their ill-fitting cheap suits, their dusty rubber soled shoes, with their fat frumpy wives in their bulging party outfits, more appropriate for a Caribbean knocking shop than a state occasion, their complete lack of competence with a knife and fork (have you seen Gordo eat? - like a monkey doing a jigsaw). Imagine having open house to a few charvers from Benwell ("eee missus! wor lass has blocked yor shitter but divent worry ah pissed in the sink") - that's what it's like for the poor old girl.
So to take her revenge by a little gentle jibe at the snot gobbler is ok by me. I bet he had a torrid night really what with sweating up the Moss Bros gear, a big brained atomic scientist, member of the Royal Society, on one side and that evil French harridan from the Justice Ministry exuding a miasma of mouldy unwashed French minge like a ripe Roquefort on the other. No wonder he felt queer.
I pity the poor bumboy footman who next day had to crawl under the table and wipe away the bogeys deposited there - or, more likely, because they'll have canny long tablecloths there, they'll have had to burn his chair because of all the stuff encrusted under the seat side rails.
Simple answer - get rid of the cunt. Read The Three Musketeers - all HM needs is a simple piece of paper and the words "By my order and for the good of the state the bearer hereof has done what he has done".Plenty of soldiers to deal with that. A nice damp dungeon cell in the Tower, inducing plenty of mucus, charge folk £3 a go to piss on him - there'd be a queue to the other end of the Mall.
Digressing slightly, after seeing the fiasco of the first day's operations at the new Terminal 5 at Heathrow, wasn't the "National Jonah - aka Gordon Brown" - present when Her Majesty formally opened it the other day?
If so probably best if they pulled it down now and used the space for car parking!
Why didn't they give him one of these to follow?
From The Times
March 28, 2008
Ex-security guard Avraham Trahtman solves maths riddle
Choose any circle on the graph. Going only in the direction the arrows indicate, follow the route blue-red-red, blue-red-red, blue-red-red and you will arrive at the yellow circle irrespective of your starting point.
Trahtman has shown that for all graphs obeying certain conditions and with edges coloured as in the example, a route description can be given to direct you to an end point whatever your start point
Avraham Trahtman was not looking for fame when he solved the “road colouring problem”, a conundrum that has befuddled mathematicians for nearly four decades. Thanks to his age - 63 - as well as his past employment as a security guard and labourer, however, he has captured the imagination of many in his field and is something of a mathematical luminary.
In layman's terms, the road colouring problem, first posed in 1970 by the Israeli-American mathematicians Benjamin Weiss and Roy Adler, assumes that it is possible to create a universal map to provide directions to a fixed point that works no matter where you start from. Experts say that the solution could have real applications in mapping. “Let's say you are lost in a town you have never been in before and you have to get to a friend's house and there are no street signs - the directions will work no matter what,” Stuart Margolis, a colleague of Dr Trahtman at Bar-Ilan University in Tel Aviv, said.
“In math circles, we talk about beautiful results - this is beautiful and it is unexpected. Even in layman's terms it is completely counterintuitive, but somehow it works.”
Dr Trahtman says of his solution: “People were looking at things from a very complex place. I created a simple algorithm.” It is not simply the fact of his solution that has given him celebrity status but also his origins. He was born in 1944, in the central Russian city of Yekaterinburg, and studied mathematics “because it was the only thing I could do”. At the Ural State Technical University, where he was an associate professor, he spent his time in the unfashionable field of algebra.
12:11 PM
Dear Mr Prick Shithouse
I note your comments a propos bordellos of Jamaican origin and wish to enlighten you as to our standards of etiquette. Both myself and all my girls are well-versed in the art of cutlery management and each one of us holds the universally accepted Certificate of Victorian Exemplitude. If you require verification of our status as qualified tool operators, please visit our dainty establishment which is situated in the environs of the Montego Bay and I will give you a demonstration of the manner in which I deal with meat and two dumplings.
Dear lady of the knife
how much do you charge? In Middlesboro a wank in the car used to cost a quid and a gobble £3 but since Brown's been in it's £2 and £4.what with increased fuel costs thats up 26.5 % in a year - all because of the iron Chancellor - cunt!
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