Guy Fawkes' blog of parliamentary plots, rumours and conspiracy: Tom Watson's Ministry of Untruths

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Tom Watson's Ministry of Untruths

Francis Maude welcomed Tom Watson back today:

Mr. Francis Maude (Horsham) (Con): I welcome the Minister back to the Dispatch Box; no doubt that is his reward for his part in dispatching the previous Prime Minister.

Guido once suggested that Tom Watson was a treacherous, lying plotter who met and connived with Brown on the eve of a coup attempt against Blair in the hope of future preferment. Watson always unconvincingly denies this, claiming he traveled to Scotland only to chat about the kids. Tom is a blogger himself and an avid reader of Guido's blog. After an exchange in the comments once he gave an undertaking:

Tom said...: It shouldn't be neccesary[sic] but to amuse you: I promise never to return to government.; Good enough?
11:26 AM, October 26, 2006

Today he is a minister in Gordon's government. Demonstrably Tom Watson is one of the most mendacious shits in Parliament. The thing is, he is proud of it.

72 comments:

MisterE said...: The guy even looks like an odious little shit, never mind acting like one...; February 6, 2008 5:30 PM
thick as thieves said...: don't worry tom, you don't need to try to amuse us.
the fact that you are a completely fucking useless, lying, lard-arse cunt is enough to give us all a good chuckle. you can't even spell you ugly retard. that you have made it to the level of minister is the biggest joke of all. new labour must be fucked to promote such an arsehole like you to such a high level of office ho ho ho! I think I'm going to shit myself laughing, cheers tom, gordon hasn't got a spare nappy has he?
anyone for a curry?; February 6, 2008 5:37 PM
Bloody Freaks said...: Welcome to Shitdom, Watson is back and he'll be instrumental in bringing himself down with the snotgobbler.

Pox on them.; February 6, 2008 5:48 PM
anothergeordie said...: Whilst I am pleased that Guido outs these parasites of whatever political party, the challenge remains for the average punter to become enraged to consider participating in this dirty democracy. I suspect that this latest sleaze debate has 'touched' more voter indignation than any other issue in recent years. There must be some alternative to the corrupt political 'mafias' of the current main parties. Is it too much to ask that independent candidates put forward an anti-sleaze manifesto which is devoid of affiliations to massed public sector labour and big business. OR are we too far gone with a dependent welfare state who have had their votes bought in the last 10 years. The prospects for the next 3 years which appear ever bleaker suggest that we move into dangerous times. Gawd help us.; February 6, 2008 5:49 PM
Windy Alixander said...: So Watson hasn't changed a bit since 2006, Guido?

A new photo of the degenerated ugly twat is overdue?; February 6, 2008 5:51 PM
Anonymous said...: Well, a shit is a shit.....but a mendatious shit is truly a star shit....and a parliamentary shit is beyond the pale.. how much is he making?; February 6, 2008 5:52 PM
45govt said...: Looks like one of those wife-beating Scotch thugs. Could it be?
Ah, I see he was in charge of the Students Union in Hull - clearly a charmer then who relies on sweet reason to put his point of view.

Where DO they get these lowlifes, is there a factory somewhere for ZaNuLab android production, and when will we get news of the output figures?; February 6, 2008 5:52 PM
Anonymous said...: Iz ee scotch ?; February 6, 2008 5:57 PM
Shotgun said...: Nice to see you in fine form after my lay-off Guido...but to business...

In any other profession or sphere of life, this fucker would be your typical fat useless cunt that still lived with his mum and got chinned every time he opened his fucking gob.; February 6, 2008 6:01 PM
Anonymous said...: A very nasty case of the condition memorably described by Martin Amis as 'masturbator's pallor'.; February 6, 2008 6:07 PM
Anonymous said...: If ever there was an advert for compulsory MRSA, it was this fat cunt!
Fucking lying bastard!; February 6, 2008 6:10 PM
Arthur Haines (Comedian) said...: '...The thing is, he is proud of it...'

Another jack-booted National Socialist in the making then Guido.

AH(C); February 6, 2008 6:16 PM
Anonymous said...: Guido he is not a shit. He is cunt. I hope someone gives him aids and sticks a bomb up the Snotgobbler's anus.; February 6, 2008 6:18 PM
Anonymous said...: The lack of quality in Beans ministers is once again highlighted.

Who was it said "you can judge one by the company one keeps" seems apt!

Now, if only the quality of Beans ministers matched that of the SNP team at Holyrood-the london opposition wouldn't know what hit them!!; February 6, 2008 6:25 PM
Anonymous said...: Parliament should be capitalized, thus: "one of the most mendacious shits in Parliament". It's important to get these things right.; February 6, 2008 6:29 PM
pass us the sickbag said...: Fuck me, that Tom Watson is almost as ugly and mongish looking as that hump-backed, button-eyed, deformed monstrosity, Sion Simon.

If you're reading this Tom why don't you get together with Sion, Bob Ainsworth, Margie Beckett, Ed Balls, the Miliband twins, and Dougie Alexander and go and do some moonlighting with that model agency who specialise in grotesquely ugly fuckers.

You could all make a few bob on the side. I'm sure you could do with it.; February 6, 2008 6:34 PM
bolshevikbroadcastingcommissariat said...: There should be more like him! Then even the dopey buggers fooled by Bliar would realize what ZaNuLabour are like.; February 6, 2008 6:38 PM
sidsid said...: "that still lived with his mum"

Not another one????; February 6, 2008 6:43 PM
Hazel said...: the cunt was smirking on the front bench today what disgrace; February 6, 2008 6:46 PM
Anonymous said...: That demand for the abolition of Parliament (Commons & Lords) is on www.news-365.com, go on you bastards charge Treason so we can all throw you out.; February 6, 2008 6:52 PM
Crocodile HeeHee said...: Who is the Brown Patsy among the following MPs who resigned government jobs to support Dithering Brown's failed coup against Blair in 2006?

Tom Watson
Khalid Mahmood
Ian Lucas
Mark Tami
Wayne David
David Wright
Chris Mole
Iain Wright

Alas lonely Khalid Mahmood is left on his own on the backbenches to ponder on the iniquity of Gordo's ingratitude for his sacrifice.; February 6, 2008 7:00 PM
red despot spotter said...: having had another look at PMQs and trying to rise above gordons none answer pattern and tactic. it is clear that there is a sense of worry and desparration, ed milliband whispering in gordons ear , they are definitely hiding somthing !!
i know that some fo the stats they give are fiddled , but gordon avoids being PM at every oppertunity , he behaves more like a head of committee ,when asked a personal preference he dodges , as though we shouldnt know it .

the problem is committes dont work well in the more fluid nature of prime minister , he is basically trying to make a style fit a position . as prime minister you are head of her majasties government which is in power for all the people .

whilst the pattern of none answer is a bit boring what the public are picking up on him is that he may not in fact be capable of answering questions , he grunts and gruffs but only a trickel comes out of him.

this of course holds off and frustrates the opposition questions , but the public sense he doesnt know how to do the job , now that the speaker is being noted in lacking rigor , this only adds to the feeling that we have someone pretending to be strong when he is in actual fact quite weak.
what on earth is wrong in his policies being subject to critcism , that is democracy .
we can only assume that his policies are weak and will cause more problems than they solve.

he is in actual fact weakening labour all the time , true he has cheerleaders who seem to think its shit or bust , but he isnt seeing whats happening on the street.

most male voters now think he is weak and cannot be relied upon (and they think somthing is wrong in his none answer), most female voters are now getting past the give him a chance bit , and see him rather like "bad lover" once he is board he wouldnt care , and never really did .

keep going gordon theres no inspiration, no trust , no believeing a word you say !!
just as hutton predicited you are killing off the center of your party , membership figs seem to back this , so of course you need money from big business , youve lost the voter , but you cant keep disregarding planning objections , dying children, malevolent crime all these exist under your governance/watch .

the public sense you dont do anything and cant do anything , they also know you are not offering a mimic of a tory goverment , uniquely you !! a bit of different thinker ???
i think youl find the british dont want it , your uniqueness will then boomerang back , as useless , lying and icompetant .

your gamble , hope the party contiues to back you !!; February 6, 2008 7:12 PM
Plato said...: Blimey, nil points for this chap. Personally I think he is a twat for attempting a cowardly coup against TB.

I still can't believe that after a zillion years in Opposition and three election victories under The Vicar that dick-heads like this think that they have the mandate to oust the best thing that has happened to Labour in decades.

Just goes to show what a lot of self obsessed wankers they are.

My mum said to be careful what you wish for - well he wanted Gordo and look what we've got stuck with until 2010.; February 6, 2008 7:30 PM
thick as thieves said...: my aplogies to anyone offended by my retard comment.
this man is ofcourse a complete spastic.; February 6, 2008 7:31 PM
Anonymous said...: O/T but I hear the next President of the US of A has decided he's not got the time to meet our revered Prime Minister, Supreme Leader of the British Soviet Socialist Republic, after all. What a rude thing to do, to snub poor Gordon like that. He must be very angry, poor thing. And after he'd told everyone that a Very Important Person wanted to talk to him. I bet he'll go into a terrible sulk and bite his nails.; February 6, 2008 7:39 PM
red despot spotter said...: re earlier post on getting things right
"mendacious shit" shurely you mean "humongous shit"; February 6, 2008 7:41 PM
Tuscan Tony said...: Welcome back Shotgun!

Reckon you shoudl have words with the chap who photoshopped Tom's hair, Mr Fawkes; one of the shabbiest and most poorly-executed thatches I have ever seen. No-one could seriously imagine anyone going out with such a shambolic and unconvincing rug on top of his crown.; February 6, 2008 8:19 PM
sonny said...: they are all full of shit keep up the good work; February 6, 2008 8:24 PM
David Chappell said...: Having just left the Year of the Pig, we are now in the Year of the Rat. Sums up Westmnster pretty well, I guess.

Kung Hei Fat Choi or Gong Xi Fa Cai if you speak Mandarin; February 6, 2008 8:58 PM
Anonymous said...: From wikipedia: "Within days of the incident suggestions appeared that Watson had been to Chancellor Gordon Brown's residence in Scotland only the day before the memo was sent to Tony Blair. Watson claimed he was dropping off a present for Brown's new baby Fraser, and that the issue of the note, nor "any politics" were discussed.'".

So Watson will not have submitted any expenses claims for this visit. Or the present.; February 6, 2008 9:22 PM
Il Shito-Baggio said...: Poor Tom Watson. He is about as popular here as a matzo in a mosque. I am surely he is a Genuinely Nice Guy.

He is quite repulsive to look at, though.

I can't help wondering if Gordon Brown actively prefers to surround himself with hideously deformed orcs, weirdos and dorks. Maybe he does so in order to make himself look, relatively speaking, like George Clooney.

Even people who were, broadly speaking, normal-looking are turning into freaks, though.

Why, even Jacqui had some merits - two very noticeable one - before she entered the Cabinet. Now she appears to be turning into a hideous caricature of Shirley Williams. It must be the Westminster air or something.; February 6, 2008 9:46 PM
killemallletgodsortemout said...: This no-neck fucking monster would be the first candidate for my guillotine. The weasel-eyed cunt.; February 6, 2008 10:47 PM
the mighty boosh said...: He looks creepy, like an obese version of the child catcher who cut his long hair off with a pair of shears to avoid identification.; February 6, 2008 11:25 PM
watson's syrup said...: Tom Watson has an arse shape in his chin. I bet that gets Gordon drooling with excitement.; February 7, 2008 12:05 AM
northofsouth said...: Tom's a proppa blogga!; February 7, 2008 12:45 AM
stalinsgran said...: Your views of Tom are outrageous. We need as many communists in the Government as possible. In the words of Gerry Adams, we have not gone away, you know.; February 7, 2008 1:33 AM
stanislav said...: This bloke looks like a nonce. He does. But then they all look like nonces. Milliband looks like a nonce. Balls looks like a nonce, Straw looks like a metanonce. They are all freaks. Even the women. Especially the women. D'ya ever see a more cruel looking bunch of bitches than Harman, Flint and Schmidt ? No, nor me.; February 7, 2008 2:09 AM
Casual Observer said...: They are all shits...; February 7, 2008 4:56 AM
Sion said...: FFS! ¨Tom is a pwopper bwlogger¨, now leave him alone to spend his ministerial salary and enormous expences on fripperies an fancies - hi Tom, yours Sion. XX; February 7, 2008 8:11 AM
Tom's Wife's Maiden Name said...: Tom's been v quiet on the Conway affair. Skeletons in his closet too?; February 7, 2008 8:48 AM
Shotgun said...: Tom Watson has an arse shape in his chin. I bet that gets Gordon drooling with excitement.

It's not an arse shape in his chin, it's a shaved twat...literally.

Ans Hi TT, nice to be back.; February 7, 2008 9:05 AM
Windsor Tripehound said...: A pedant writes:

killemallletgodsortemout said...

"This no-neck fucking monster.." "..first candidate for my guillotine"

Wouldn't that make the guillotining a bit difficult?; February 7, 2008 9:20 AM
Hugh Jorgen said...: To all those calling Watson a cunt, please stop.
You are wrong - cunts are useful.; February 7, 2008 9:42 AM
Tony. Palestine said...: If ever an advert came up for a first class fat twat, Watson would fill the form in quicker than you could say: I'm a first class cunt!

Stitches Blair up. Lies.Votes for Brown. Disallows Labour members a vote.Blair goes. Brown installed.Labour sink in the polls.

That is the mark of a first class cunt. A fat cunt at that.

The funny thing is, that Tom Watson doesn't wear glasses. It's a disguise.

So if you see any fat cunt that doesn't look like Tom Watson, walking around, try imagining him without the glasses and you'll see a first class fat cunt written all over him.; February 7, 2008 10:24 AM
killemallletgodsortemout said...: @windsor tripehound

Er, no, pedant. A miss-hit would be just as effective, and perhaps more pleasurable for the onlooking trolls.; February 7, 2008 10:54 AM
thick as thieves said...: windsor,
we shall have to design a new one then, to chop the cunt in half.
I think a couple of silver bullets should still be discharged into the corpse, you never know with these black magic satanist motherfuckers, right?
this cunt would probably still get up and go for a curry.; February 7, 2008 11:10 AM
Anonymous said...: Yes-Bean prefers to surround himself with scots labour nonentities.

This is because, surrounding himself with pygmies, makes his one inch higher stature seem superior!; February 7, 2008 11:49 AM
the mighty boosh said...: Is he surrounding himself with very nonce looking men so he looks less nonce-like?; February 7, 2008 12:04 PM
Henry Crun said...: No we know why Blair was so quick to remove hnadguns from private ownership. This bunch of mendacious cunts wouldn't stand a chance if I still had my Colt 1911.; February 7, 2008 12:16 PM
Alan said...: Don't you think it's strange that Tom isn't so keen to be part of this particular discussion?; February 7, 2008 12:54 PM
just let out after serving twenty said...: Don't talk of guns and Tom fat lying cunt Watson, in my presence.

Thta's fucking dangerous!; February 7, 2008 12:58 PM
DANGER said...: There's a Viz character in this.; February 7, 2008 1:14 PM
tom watson said...: Fuck off you load of cunts!; February 7, 2008 1:26 PM
Tom's conscience (shit on) said...: This fat lying cunt shit on Blair and he'll shit on Brown, when there's no cunt looking. When some other cunt wants Brown's job and it looks like the dole queue, old fat cunt will shit on anything that moves.
This cunt is a first class devious cunt. Paid by his bender for a job well done.I expect every fucker in the Labour Party knows this cunt is a fucking shyster.

Cunt.; February 7, 2008 1:37 PM
Tom's Parliamentary staff said...: How do you think we feel?
We know he's a lying fat cunt, so how come its taken you fucking years for the penny to drop?

A total first class cunt.; February 7, 2008 1:40 PM
thick as thieves said...: alan,
excellent point.
where is the gob-shite?; February 7, 2008 2:20 PM
Bloody Freaks said...: I was having a crap day.....

Thanks folks....

What's the bet the staff at no 10 are shitting themselves,

Never have so many been so thoroughly stuffed by so few.

Bloody inbreds.; February 7, 2008 2:29 PM
thick as thieves said...: tom watson,
yeah yeah, at 1.26 all that lardy-arse cunt is going to be doing is stuffing his fat face with curry and pouring alcohol down his gullet!; February 7, 2008 2:51 PM
Frank.( Make poverty history, make drugs cheaper, NOW!) said...: Hasn't anyone noticed the similarity between lying fat cunt (pictured) and jabba the Hut's arse? If you remember, Jabba (not pictured)(but his arse is, below fat twats nose)was a lying cunt in star wars!

Get out of that one, Tom, fucking, lying fat cunt, Watson!

I think we should be told.; February 7, 2008 4:49 PM
the identifier said...: I've just realized who it is!
It's that fucking Pigsy who used to be in that Japanese programme Monkey, remember?
He was the greedy cunt who couldn't be trusted and who was always eating and drinking. Y'know always telling lies and stuffing his piggy fat face. Everyone hated him cos he was such a selfish cunt and had no morals. That's him!; February 7, 2008 4:59 PM
Paul Linford said...: When are you going to admit that Tom did us all a favour by helping to get rid of Bliar?; February 7, 2008 6:20 PM
Guido Fawkes Esq. said...: Paul,

Has Tom admitted he led a Brownite conspiracy to get rid of Blair?

Your question also presumes that Brown is better than Blair. The Labour Party is finding out the hard way he is not.; February 7, 2008 6:26 PM
Paul Linford said...: I see. You spend most of 2006/7 trying to highlight Blair's part in the cash-for-honours affair - rightly in my view despite the inevitable whitewash - and now you want to bring the lying toerag back?; February 7, 2008 6:35 PM
Jim Bliss said...: Is this a political website or an offshoot of a fashion magazine?

Fully more than a third of the comments on this post make reference to Tom Watson's physical appearance.

Well done, Guido, for providing the internet with such an incisive political forum. Truly you have elevated the quality of debate beyond the trivial.; February 7, 2008 7:06 PM
thick as thieves said...: fuck off jim you boring cunt.; February 7, 2008 8:44 PM
Fabio Cappello eenglish managoor said...: La englasies de neu vai Tom Watson, excptionale demofraghtut raenaisense de la pembole fat cunt.
escuse me de la eenglandish no quite finis me anglaise leeson yet,bat mr Tom Watsn defnit fat twat. Fook im off; February 8, 2008 8:17 AM
Harry T said...: Jim Bliss is right. I normally like reading the blog but the comments in this thread are disgusting; February 8, 2008 10:58 AM
lastminute.com said...: Sorry! Only just got back. Just heard Tom Watson took his thirty pieces of silver.
What a cunt.
What a twat.
Fat cunt.; February 8, 2008 10:58 AM
I hate labour said...: Well, Bliss and Harry t, we really do not care. We are here to enjoy pricking the pricks. So pricks need not apply!!

Toodle pip!; February 8, 2008 7:56 PM
Fabrilo Capello Anglaise Managoor said...: Goodbye and hello. Me eenglish lesson do very much well now. You like? Me understand hulio angleasie mooch beeter, goodbye?

So this much I understnding. Tom Watson is a traitor. We execute in my Country.Fuck off.

Tomas took many shillings and rat on Tony. This much I understnding mostly.

Tomas is cunt.So fuck you.
Once cunt, always cunt.
Tomas he fat cunt at that.; February 9, 2008 12:51 PM
Inspector Yates of the Yard said...: 'Has Tom Watson admitted his part in a Brownfinger conpiracy to topple Blair.'(Guido).

Yes he has and yes he was cmplicit in this act of treachery.; February 10, 2008 12:53 PM
politcal hack (rejected labour MP candiddate) and the stirrer (jumped up bbc reporter) said...: I notice that the Guido blog was aired on the politics show on sunday. Watson was doorstepped and took the interview of the benefits of bloging.Much reference was given to this blog, 'the ministry of untruths',and how brutl and cutting it can be for an mp.; February 11, 2008 8:50 AM