Friday Caption Contest (Hain Rebels)
Scrounging Tory MP Complains - Daniel Kawczynski
Brown' s Undeclared "Donation in Kind" - COP Blog
Think-Tank Roundup - Cassilis
Charity Criticised by Regulator for Links to Gordon Brown - Bloomberg
Official UK Report Criticises Shrum - Danny Finkelstein
Ban the Word "Toff" - Iain Dale
PMQs Cruel But Funny - Simon Carr
Brown Lies at PMQs - Fraser Nelson
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2008
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July
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- Friday Caption Competition (the Men in Suits)
- Gordon Brown Refused to Answer Inquiry Questions
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- +++ Charity Commission Smith Institute Report Tomo...
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- Can Clegg Carry His Party?
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- EXCLUSIVE : Glasgow East Labour Fakes "93 Year-Old...
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- It Will Blow Over
- Jacqui's Handbrake Skid Policy U-turn
- EXCLUSIVE : Sam Coates of ConservativeHome Hired a...
- Gove Column Collapses
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- Beauty and the Basher
- Sunday Sleaze Round-Up
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- Byrne Fires on Downing Street
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- For the Times They Are A-Changin'
- Guido Says Jump, Downing Street Geeks Jump
- Calling the Brown Bottom*
- Did Harriet Panic?
- PMQs / LOQs : Harriet Edition
- New Labour Guilty as Charged
- Sun Says : Harriet Definitely Plotting
- Jump on the Harriet Bandwagon
- Brogan's Boob Blogging
- Jonah Goes to Japan
- Downing Street Still Not Listening
- C'mon Harriet, Your Country Needs You!
- So What is Gordon Eating Today?
- Hain Brought to Book
- Let Them Eat Crusts
- Marr Gets All Aggressive
- Rich & Mark's Monday Morning View
- One Year Ago Today
- The Diarist's Dilemma
- Sunday Sleaze Round-Up
- Gordon Doesn't Appear to Have Any Answers
- +++ David Davis Finally Gets His Debate +++
- Pink 'Un Euromania is Unhinged
- Boris Loses Another Adviser
- ¡Viva España!
- Friday Caption Contest*
- +++ Source : Tories Take Legal Advice on Deselecti...
- More Nuisance Calling from Gordon Brown
- Troughing Ministers, Troughing Tory MPs
- Speccie Party: No Canapes, Plenty of Sardines
- Young Blood Needed at the Daddy of Think Tanks
- Watching the Pigs Vote
- That Helicopter Doesn't Look Very Green
- Are MPs Worth Four Times the Average?
- Murray was Doomed the Moment Gordon Wished Him Wel...
- Secret of Irish Profits
- Vaz Down Payment : Bigger Office
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- Arise Lord Vaz of 42 Days?
- PMQs : Don't Just Shout Abuse at the Telly!
- Bankrupting The Guardian
- 633,793 Page Hits from 476,745 Visitors
- Another Day, Another Downing Street Rat...
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- Pundits Think SNP Could Take Glasgow East
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88 comments:
Tesco Value Politicans
Every little helps
This thing you have where everything costs £x.99, its given me an idea...
What's the difference between a Tesco bag and Peter Hain?
A Tesco bag has some use.
Ouch, not there!
Supermarket dogger caught on camera
HAIN: Excuse me, do you serve oranges?
CASHIER: Well I'm serving you, ain't I?
Undermining Brown - Every little helps. x
Misprint - Hain Repels.
I find it amazing just how much soil from Lords Cricket Ground you can actually pack into a Tesco carrier bag.....
Sorry Miss, I thought it was the till I had my hand in.... oops!
At least Guido recycles caption competitions.... Haven't we had this one before?
Welsh woman seeks police protection. "First it was Hain, then the plastic bag. Am I next for the dustbin of history" said Blodwyn Caerau formerly Dai Probert who played hooker for Wales inthe famous win over the Zulus in 1879.
You can get so much more in a Tesco bag than a brown envelope !
As part of Labour's ongoing Welfare Strategy, I am pleased to announce this set of measures which will enable the unemployed to lift themselves out of reliance on State Benefits and into full-time work. Through extra training where needed, those once considered unemployable can re-establish themselves in the workplace.
Here we see Peter, a man who once lacked the basic skills his employers required. Now, thanks to the new scheme, he is fully qualified as a grocery replenishment operative at a major retailer.
Tesco's latest check-out recruit given final warning after admitting receiving illegal donation from pensioner Dolly Perkins who thought Hain's collecting box was for the Battersea Dogs Home.
Now this is Mrs Martins shopping.
Just take it outside to the waiting Taxi.
Become an MP and fill your bags.
Welsh girl: I don't know why he's put his hand up there. I keep my money in my pocket.
Bimbo: ''...if you can make me come, I'll give you extra Clubcard points...''
Tango: ''Too late - this is the express checkout arrrghghgh...''
"I deeply regret and apologise for going into the '10 items or less' counter with 2 full trolleys of shopping. However, this was due to an oversight on the part of my wife, who had failed to inform me that this was, in fact, the weekly big shop and not, as I had originally believed, just popping in to get a few bits.
There was no intention to mislead you, Miss Cashier, or the people stood behind me in this store, and I hope that by making this statement, a line has been drawn under the matter"
We obviously emptied the till before you came Mr Hain.
Peter Hain experiences a "Richard Madeley moment" and explains that he just "forgot" to pay.
''Would you like a hand with your packing, sir?''
General manager for Tesco Neath (central) to valley girl:
Hello my sweet... how would like to chair a think tank on plastic bags.. no questions ever asked?
Guido had already put in the call to the Charity Commission and was surprised to hear them guffaw when he demanded an investigation into Peter Hain's secret and corrupt support for the British Red Cross.
Janice smiled at the customer, as one always should, but she recognised an orange that was past its best when she saw one.
Claiming that he misheard Brown's instruction, Hain tries to pack everyone else's bags.
I think Hain has just made her day (by leaving).
"Oh Peter, did you know that your replacement (Purnell) was a job bagger just like you?" Watch out Ed (of Balls-up fame), James has his sights firmly fixed on your job. "Now Peter, he's taken the pic, you can let go of my kn***ers now".
Every little may help but, really, I do prefer it a bit bigger.
Tesco carrier bag and peter hains career both consigned to the dustbin of history.
hahahahha its still so funny...creosoted cunt!!
There will be Blod.
I just popped in to rob the till, but everything is so cheap in Tesco I decided to do some shopping instead.
Get your hand from up my arse you seedy, orange peel tinged twat, and thats 5p for the fucking bag too! Cunt!
Look folks. I told you I could destroy "That Nation of Shopkeepers",
Napolean Hain, the Yidisher stool pigeon.
Hain who??
Peter Hain is caught on camera shoplifting carrier bags, as Tesco prepare to follow Marks and Spencer's lead in charging customers 5p per bag.
"Free bent politican with every £995 spent."
If I claim the 5p back, I don't have to declare it, right?
"Nearly done, love, meantime I've slipped a three pack of knickers in the bag as a thank you"
"Would Sir like any Cashback?"
"I know should reuse the bag, but I fear the old orange juice is running too low for seconds"
Tracy knew when she'd been Tango'ed
Peter Hain endorses Tesco's new UV degradable plastic carrier bag
Hain: "How does that feel?"
Till girl: "Well, every little helps I suppose..."
Hain: "I bet you say that to all the guys"
Till girl: "Only you and Steve Morgan..."
Till girl: "Would you like any help packing?"
Hain: "That's what Gordon said"
... are you sure there's enough carriers here for the bag money?
wild turkey
Tesco girl Blodwyn Rhys clears the store of every item past its sell-by.
Paper bags
Superbug scandal: Health bosses yesterday admitted they failed to tackle a hospital superbug that killed almost 6500 people in one year.
Brown worrying about paper bags when all those poor people died in one year.
Shows the priorities of our Politicians and hangers on.
Peter was surprised to find Adolf and Eva's love child working in his local supermarket.
Peter was pleased when he realised his Tesco bag had the telephone number of the British Red Cross on it. "Ah" he said "The Red Cross know a thing or two about hiding donations in Swiss bank accounts. That could come in very handy".
Young Ms Hain: Shame you didn't trouser enough to buy me a proper education, dad, I wouldn't have had to work on the checkouts.
PH: Sorry about that love, only I had to shell out for all these carrier bags, they're not cheap, y'know. Still, look on the bright side. At least one of us still has a job.
Bagman and Robbers
Phoarwwwwwwwwwwwww, what a peach of an arse love, wish gordons felt like that. Every time I touch his wrinkly flabby arse i'm upto my elbow in shit!!
Police may have found a link in the recent spate of suicides in Bridgend.
peter hain offers gordon the sponsord receipticles to clear his desk when the next general election comes or change of party of leader which ever comes first.
Mr February in the NuLab Nude Calendar is told to keep his clothes on.
Didn't GPW shag the one on the left?
Hain highlights Global Warming, demonstrating that it can damage your skin colour and career. Carrier-bags blamed.
Who is that bloke holding the tesco bag?
Didnt he have a bit part on eastenders or something?
why cant Z list celebs just go home and shut the door?
Every £103,000 helps...
Teso sales assistant: "I give good head. Just ask the store manager"
Hain: "So do I. Just ask Gordon".
"Do you have any cloves here?"
"Nah, we only sell 'em in the bigger stores."
The above conversation actually took place.
Hain:"I know which bag I prefer!"
Gordon I couldn't find any Large Nappy Bags will this do.
My dear, I am sure I can hear music
Be my lovechild - I'll slip you a few quid
Tesco political contributions as per published accounts = zero
Tesco Marketing and PR expenditure with New Labour = zillions
Oh fuck, Isn't that the same bag Mark Oaten took home?
Sorry deary, I have not actually been in one of these places before.
Now I have the bags. Can you tell me who now gos and fills them up for me?
Hurry up and take the snap you fucking bastards. Its hard keeping this smile up, with this old cunts hand in the back of me knickers.
Or
Disgraced ex cabinet minister reveals his true class, by showing he's not got the slightest clue how to use a supermarket.
ATLAS shrugged
Chocolate orange
Why on earth is the girl looking so cheerful? She's not one of them, is she?
The picture captions itself:
Spend le
£ every
Every
ORANGE ONE:"Fuck off, Taffy. I am on to bigger and better things!"
TESCO STAFFER: "Got your place at Belmarsh sorted out, have you, you Saesneg Bastard? I hear the Jeffrey Archer Suite is still available."
Looks good, looks cheap, looks nasty
How the mighty have fallen, I used to get my tarts from Fortnums.
Hain - "I misread the job advertisement. I thought they were looking for buggers, not baggers!"
"Didn't you used to be on the telly?"
PH: Yes, every week.
"Don't tell me. I'm sure I can remember. Let me see,,,,"
PH (with a grin): Think cheap as chips.
"Antiques Roadshow? Nah, I never watch that so it must be something else. Acorn Antiques more like from the look of you..." (Long pause)
"Mmm... got it! You were in Camp Guantanamo!! Am I right?"
PH: Bugger this for a lark. Keep the shopping luv. I'll be going down for 42 days at this rate"
"Next customer. Good morning, Miss Church"
... to be continued
Trust me - noone would think of looking for undeclared donations in these bags...
Just doing my good deed for the day - I thought Mrs. Martin would be glad of these bags - I know they're not the same as receipts but..........
Binned
Well it worked for Dame Shirley Porter
Tesco's latest offer - every bag now comes witha spring-loaded pop-up Peter Hain horror mask.
Teasy-weasy Hain: "How deos madam like her new hair style?"
Girl: "Well I know it is cheap, but I'm not sure the comb-over Hitler style will go down well in Pontypridd".
Hain: "Hand over the takings or the girl gets tangoed"
'Every Little Tit helps, and you are one Little Tit too many Haines' says the checkout girl.
Peter had promised her he wouldn't go up her arse, but now Megan has learned the hard way never to trust a NuLabor politician.
Every little s**t helps!
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