Friday Caption Contest
Bradford & Bingley Shares Down 23%*, Queues Outside Tomorrow*This week, 63% on the year.
Friday, February 15, 2008
Bradford & Bingley Shares Down 23%*, Queues Outside Tomorrow
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80 comments:
You read my mind!
http://newsvote.bbc.co.uk/1/shared/fds/hi/business/market_data/shares/3/23146/twelve_month.stm
Can Gordo afford another 50-100Billion?
Hmmmm...
And the FTSE is down almost one hundred points.
As teh FTSE is a forward looking indicator, I would say that it looks like Brown is finally going to get found out, to such an extent that even Polly Toynbee won't be able to deny it.
Another bank run would be devastating for the UK economy, Darling will have to guarantee deposits on this one as well.
Caption: "Are you sure, we're in the right queue?"
Mr Brown ..'your home may be at risk if you dither over this one like you did Northern Rock.'
Didn`t Gordon in his wisdom just allow himself to bail banks out without telling anyone?
were fucked, your fucked, im fucked, hes fucked, shes fucked, the countries fucked, were all fucked.
Thank fuck were based up North and not called the Windsor and Harrow.
'Our strong economy is the foundation. And with unbending determination, in 2008, we will steer a course of stability through global financial turbulence.
Gordon Brown - Dec 30 2007 - New Year message statement.
What goes up, must come Brown!
"Ay oop, crackin good job us put wor tin hats on, Mr Bradford"
"Thee's reet abaht that, Mr Bingley"
I bought to to let, and then found I had bought a toilet -
My investment has gone down the drain!
Another bank run to come. First Northern Rock now Bradford and Bingley. Who's next? Alliance and Leicester probably though HBOS don't look too healthy either.
What a bloody mess Brown has presided over and it's only going to get ten times worse when the run on the pound really starts and the currency collapses.
Is Gordon saying: "It doesn't matter how big we are Darling, just so long as we stand absolutely still nobody will spot us."?
"Mr Brown dont forget thats BRADFORD and BINGLEY"
"Thats reet, we are UpT'North"
"Labour Voters - dont you know!"
Were going down with Brown!
A return to Broon and Bust, Mr Bingley?
'We should never have left that flour grading job at Homepride.'
The balloon goes up..
can branson still push the amenvelope..
boom boom!
It's down that much this week. "Only" down 5.5% today.
Still fucked though. Well done Gordo.
I used to think Bradford was a dump, until I went to Bingley.
thats meant to be envelope
(crap virginesque mgt speak and ballooning term geddit)
Strapworld said "going down with Brown"
What a truly ghastly thought!
Tracey got it right here:http://uk.messages.finance.yahoo.com/Your_Money/threadview?m=te&bn=UKF-SavingsInvestments&tid=2722&mid=2722&tof=4&frt=2#2722 (Click on her profile to get a more detailed picture ..)
Mr Bradford:"They are all too unsophisticated to understand. It is a brilliant finanxcial success..all Gordo needs to do now is to replace the halfwits with an audience that can truely appreciate his brilliance!"
Mr Binglwy: "Don't talk shite you fuckwit! Armageddon is just around the corner. At this rate it is the Bank of England that will be going bust next"
Why did we let them loose "Mutual"??????
Bradford Bingley Brown Balls
Why did we let them loose "Mutual"??????
Wasn't it a right-wing freemarket Tory plan to make everything better and save the world??
According to: http://newsvote.bbc.co.uk/1/shared/fds/hi/business/
market_data/shares/3/23146/intraday.stm the fall today [15th] was 10p = 5.5 % Has someone been pulling your leg? The fall was actually on the 13th = Wednesday! The fall from its 1-year high = 63 %.
Will Gordon bail them out too with our money - cos they're from up t'North.
Stop press: From The Times, http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/crime/article3376209.ece
Police are searching for a black man and two white teenagers in connection with a suspected racist attack on a centre built in memory of the murdered student Stephen Lawrence.
Officers, who have studied CCTV footage, said three suspects were seen approaching the £10 million building from a footbridge over the Dockland’s Light Railway before fleeing the scene after the attack.
Two of the suspects are described as white, between 16 and 18 years old, wearing plain dark hooded tops.
The third is described as a light-skinned black man in his late teens or early twenties and shorter than the other two suspects. He was wearing a dark hat and had facial hair.
Not an inside job, by any chance?
By the way, Grasper may have been suspended but he's still on full pay (£120k).
Now Bradford's got sharia law let's join the white flight to Bingley!
Virgin Bradford Rock plc...... Gordon browns greatest achievement.
Mr Bradford "I've got the runs"
Mr Bingley "So's our bank!"
Darling, Branson's put in a tentative offer....
OK gents, the deal is this - state support in exchange for a rebrand to BrownBalls and Darling.
"Reuters: Lee Jasper leaves LDA and head "ethnically diverse" takeover consortium planning to buy B&B and convert into Sharia compliant lender. Shares Dive".
Mr Bradford "We're fucked..."
Mr Bingley: "....and we know we are!"
Only Tony Blair or Europe can save Britain now.
Are you sure it's not a giant bronze Henry Moore from his little known Corporate Sculpture period? We could job that out for scrap before a somebody nicks it.
oh for fucks sake guido are you ever going to sort out this error message about insecure items when you hit the comments link?
Its beginning to annoy me now - I want my money back.
Darling To Broon in best Doric Accent(Learnt whilst in the fair city of Aberdeen)
"Fa's the Bunker"
Anonymong,
Change your preferences at your end.
mr bradford: is that a man dressed just in a nappy trying to thrash a rocking horse over there.
mr bingley: yes, I think hes the prime minister gordon brown .
mr bradford: is he the one that has busted our economy via the complicity of certain banks .
mr bingley: yes i think hes the one responsible for all the problems.
mr bradford: what a cunt !
Is this how they will stuff us with the poxy Euro?
Tony says its OK; now he gets paid in dollars and euro we can fuck up the pound.
"Is that our share price or gay gordos popularity rating?"
"doesn't really matter they are both fucked"
Best chance we have is to bet what's left on the Conservatives to win the next election
Gilbert and George imprisoned at last
With regards to Northern Rock.
SRM have a stake in the company valued at tonights close oft£43.365million.
We the taxpayers are in for £50 billion which is 1153 times their stake.
Mr Bingley: "I should have stuck with Mr Darcy, he had real money."
With apologies to Jane Austen.
grand imperial dong - you must learn some elements of grammar before you come here to mess with Bwana Bogeyman and the like, who would eat you for breakfast, or have I got that the wrong way round?
Our IOUs shouldn’t touch
Move over Darling
guidomong
it does it on every computer I go on - and thats a lot!
it's broke!
Thank you, 45g. I've no idea what the arsehole is talking about either.
bogeyman - an inside job
are you fucking serious or has all that cum you frantically consume finally translated to general paralysis of the insane
Anonymous 11.14 and anyone else who has the 'mixed content' problem:
These instructions are for Internet Explorer 7.
Click on Tools -- Internet Options -- Security -- Custom Level.
Scroll about halfway down the list and find 'Display mixed content'.
Under this, check the 'Enable' option.
"Oh, Bollocks! Still. Never mind, eh? Thank fuck this will not impinge on our directors bonuses!"
hey, what happened to tracy predicting a run on the B&B - I just clicked on her profile
Is Guiodo being a spoilsport
OT, I know but you're all in bed anyway, but just seen that the snot-gobbler has had the infernal front to put up that useless Antipodean reject, Patricia Hewitt as prospective replacement for Mandelcock as EUSSR Trade Commissioner.
Now that really is putting two fingers up to the poor beleaguered taxpayer, as this TocH dimwit couldn't tie her own shoelaces without outside input.
How on earth can the EU commission be taken seriously by anyone other than the beneficiaries of their gravy train when it becomes a home for every braindead ZaNuLab time-expired cretin who has failed at putting two and two together.
This is a second pension, pure and simple paid by the partys to those that are of no commercial value, and never have been.
Kinnock x2, Brittan, Patten, Mandelson, and now a whole new nadir, that ignorant, snotty cunt Hewitt.
Is there no way of stopping this fucking charade?
Screw me Gordon was all this make up really needed. Its bringing out my school boy acne once again.
Shut the fuck up Eddy you silly little masonic creep. When the silly fuckers find out what we have been up to, you will gladly cut your own balls off and dress up as Gracey Fields to get out of here in one piece.
It cant be that bad, can it Gordon the BBC will cover are ass like last time surly?
Listen you fat upper-middle class English piece of shit. You don't even know the half of it. I told you once already just shut up, stand perfectly still, and don't na dare fart again.
The dogs round here can smell it even if the British people could na smell a dead rat in their own underpants. Which is exactly what yours smell like.
I love it when you sound all butch. Lets try the tranny stuff now Gordon.
Atlas shrugged, shrugged again and after one more great big enormous shrug, told every one again, that he told them all so.
Mr Bradford: Mr Bingley. There's bloke on phone ere called Branson. Are we interested in Virgin?
Mr Bingley: Ain't nowt in Yorkshire.
Bradford and Bingley relocate entire UK operation offshore to Easter Island.
Like most banks B&B were mostly hot air.
Mr Bradford "It's true Mr Bingley. The poster known as "thick as thieves" is a muslim mole posing as an Englishman. He has a visceral hatred of white people and is trying single-handedly to drag Guido's blog into ridicule"
Mr Bingley "Yes I know Mr Bradford. But more and more of us have seen through "thick as thieves" and see him for the white-hating, lying little shit that he is. His days on this blog are numbered"
Mr Bradford, don't mention the derivatives! I mentined them once but I think I got away with it.
Mr Bingely, don't worry nobody knows what a fucking derivative is!
Mr Bradford "Better be in bright and early on Monday morning for the run on the bank"
Mr Bingley "That's true, thank God I've already got all my own money out!"
10.05
It looks like the run has already started . There was a growing 30 strong queue out side the Bradford and Bingly in Manchester this morning apparently all waiting to get their savings out.
With a Granada film crew in attendance the panic is likely to spread rapidly.
Mr Bean to Mr Darling (puppet/monkey), re B&B:
'It's the end of the world as we know it'. Apologies to REM.
The fact the B&B has been able to raise £2 Billion on the markets plus has acquired a further £1 Billion in savings shows both savers and investors have confidence in the business.
B&B has a sound loan book in comparison with the other banks and has lent prudently not recklessly. At least they've announced the write down, unlike most banks who are lying about their exposure i.e barclays.
This type of scare mongering is dangerous. B&B and northern rock are two very different institutions.
so what happens when the buy to let market collapses ,they cannot get more funding and depositors pull out their money?
not the same as n.rock?
we shall see.....
45 gvt yep the only way to end the fucking EU gravy train for the corrupt useless cunts who ride it is to leave.
Only mainstream party that makes that the central plank of their manifesto is UKIP.
I fucking hate the EUSSr and all of the scum British politicians who have prostituted this country to it for their own gain.
Er, I vote UKIP in case you have not guessed.
"Well Mister Bradford, I'd say we are well and truly bolloxed, wouldn't you?"
"Yes Mister Bingley, old chum, we're up the Panamanian shit canal without a paddle. Wot!"
"Shame really Mister Bradford. Still better a run on the bank and ignominious failure that then cunt Brason shmoosing his way in to 'save' us"
"Bloody right Mister Bingley old chap! - by the way, can I call you 'Bing'?"
"Not bloody likely Mister Bradford, you old bender!"
(word verification: GB Pud PM)
"That would be Mister BRANSON then, Mister Bingley?"
"Yes, sorry Mister Bradford, I was being a cunt."
"Too right Mister Bingley, too right"
Don't worry Mr B .... there are plently more retards waiting to jump on the BTL ladder.
Too right, Mr B. After all, you can't fucking lose.
Mr Bradford: We're buggered. What can we do?
Mr Bingley: I know. Let's do a runner, paint our faces white and pretend we work for Homepride.
Logical oxymorons
SOUND BANK,STRONG POUND
* act naturally
* advanced BASIC
* almost exactly
* alone together
* authentically reproduced
* butt head
* canned fresh
* center around
* clearly misunderstood
* click the Start button to shut down
* computer jock
* constant change
* decreased growth
* definite maybe
* diet ice cream
* disposable products with a lifetime guarantee
* even odds
* exact estimate
* extinct life
* first annual
* first string secondary
* former native
* forward back
* found missing/turned up missing
* genuine imitation/genuine simulated
* go ahead, back up
* good grief
* government organization
* holy war
* jumbo shrimp
* last initial
* legally drunk
* living dead
* liquid natural gas
* little giant
* long shorts
* new classic
* now, then...
* old news
* one of the only...
* passive aggressive
* peace force
* plastic glasses
* political science
* pretty ugly
* rehearsed improvisation
* resident alien
* same difference
* sanitary landfill
* second initial
* silent alarm
* sleep vigorously
* small crowd
* soft rock
* solo ensemble
* specialize in everything
* sweet sorrow
* synthetic natural gas
* taped live
* temporary tax increase
* terribly pleased
* tight slacks
* to infinity and beyond
* twelve-ounce pound cake
* whole half
* working vacation
A woman calls her boss and tells him she is staying away from work because she's not feeling well.
"What's the matter" the boss asks
"I have a case of anal glaucoma", she says in a weak voice.
"What the hell is anal glaucoma?? " asks the boss.
"I can't see my ass coming into work today.
"The fact the B&B has been able to raise £2 Billion on the markets plus has acquired a further £1 Billion in savings shows both savers and investors have confidence in the business.
B&B has a sound loan book in comparison with the other banks and has lent prudently not recklessly. At least they've announced the write down, unlike most banks who are lying about their exposure i.e barclays.
This type of scare mongering is dangerous. B&B and northern rock are two very different institutions"
B&B has raised £1bn in deposits becasue it gives a very high interest rate - because it HAS raise finance via depositors.
The average guy in the street will therefore go to the bank with the highest interest rate - without realising that Northern Crock is NOT a one-off! Joe Average is just greedy and doesn't realise the risk involved.
And as for a good mortgage book - please, get real! Mortgage Express must have so much shit on their books it's scary! 1 in 5 buy-to-let mortgages (wow that looks good business!), 90% self cert loans with no checks run with employers or accountnats, one of the highest rent to interest payment ratios in the business.
B&B, along with practically the whole of the UK banking system is in major league trouble - just look at their share prices - they're nearly as bad as the UK housebuilders. But that's another story.
To be a manager
An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand and a bucket of buffalo manure in the other. He says to the waiter, "Me want coffee".
The waiter says, "Sure chief, coming right up". He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee, and the Indian drinks it down in one gulp, picks up the bucket of manure, throws it into the air, blasts it with the shotgun, then just walks out.
The next morning the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand and a bucket of buffalo manure in the other. He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter, "Me want coffee". The waiter says "Whoa, Tonto. We're still cleaning up your mess from the last time you were here. What the heck was that all about, anyway?"
The Indian smiles and proudly says, "Me in training for upper management. Come in, drink coffee, shoot the shit, and disappear for the rest of the day."
Turdy bliars new company transport.
Man's wife has been in a coma for three months. One day Dr calls him in "when the nurses were giving your wife a sponge bath today, they noticed a twitch in her fanny. I don't know if it will do any good, but there's just a chance that if you gave a her a bit of oral sex, it might bring her out of it, what do you think?"
"Sure thing Doc, I'll try anything" he says.
Next day he is let into the ICU and given some privacy. Ten minutes later, code blue, alarms going off, monitor flatlines.
"What on earth happened?" asked the Doc.
"Dunno", says the guy, "could she have choked?"
Sorry Guido, just seemed it was late night joke swop.
Gordon Brown is the biggest thieving lying shitebag in history, what a complete cunt he is.
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