Friday Caption Contest
Scrounging Tory MP Complains - Daniel Kawczynski
Brown' s Undeclared "Donation in Kind" - COP Blog
Think-Tank Roundup - Cassilis
Charity Criticised by Regulator for Links to Gordon Brown - Bloomberg
Official UK Report Criticises Shrum - Danny Finkelstein
Ban the Word "Toff" - Iain Dale
PMQs Cruel But Funny - Simon Carr
Brown Lies at PMQs - Fraser Nelson
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2008
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July
(68)
- Friday Caption Competition (the Men in Suits)
- Gordon Brown Refused to Answer Inquiry Questions
- Smith Institute Report
- Treasury Denies Plans to Break Broken Golden Rule
- +++ Charity Commission Smith Institute Report Tomo...
- Radically Opaque
- Can Clegg Carry His Party?
- Flip-Flop Punditry
- Tory Expense List Released
- PMQs : You Love to Hate
- Gordon Gets a Psychotherapist
- EXCLUSIVE : Glasgow East Labour Fakes "93 Year-Old...
- Midnight Football from the Prime Mentalist
- It Will Blow Over
- Jacqui's Handbrake Skid Policy U-turn
- EXCLUSIVE : Sam Coates of ConservativeHome Hired a...
- Gove Column Collapses
- Rich & Mark's Monday Morning View
- Beauty and the Basher
- Sunday Sleaze Round-Up
- Friday Caption Contest (Fancy Dress Democracy Line...
- Byrne Fires on Downing Street
- Rosindell Googling Himself in the Early Hours
- For the Times They Are A-Changin'
- Guido Says Jump, Downing Street Geeks Jump
- Calling the Brown Bottom*
- Did Harriet Panic?
- PMQs / LOQs : Harriet Edition
- New Labour Guilty as Charged
- Sun Says : Harriet Definitely Plotting
- Jump on the Harriet Bandwagon
- Brogan's Boob Blogging
- Jonah Goes to Japan
- Downing Street Still Not Listening
- C'mon Harriet, Your Country Needs You!
- So What is Gordon Eating Today?
- Hain Brought to Book
- Let Them Eat Crusts
- Marr Gets All Aggressive
- Rich & Mark's Monday Morning View
- One Year Ago Today
- The Diarist's Dilemma
- Sunday Sleaze Round-Up
- Gordon Doesn't Appear to Have Any Answers
- +++ David Davis Finally Gets His Debate +++
- Pink 'Un Euromania is Unhinged
- Boris Loses Another Adviser
- ¡Viva España!
- Friday Caption Contest*
- +++ Source : Tories Take Legal Advice on Deselecti...
- More Nuisance Calling from Gordon Brown
- Troughing Ministers, Troughing Tory MPs
- Speccie Party: No Canapes, Plenty of Sardines
- Young Blood Needed at the Daddy of Think Tanks
- Watching the Pigs Vote
- That Helicopter Doesn't Look Very Green
- Are MPs Worth Four Times the Average?
- Murray was Doomed the Moment Gordon Wished Him Wel...
- Secret of Irish Profits
- Vaz Down Payment : Bigger Office
- +++ Balls "Sorry" Ministerial Limo Collided With P...
- Arise Lord Vaz of 42 Days?
- PMQs : Don't Just Shout Abuse at the Telly!
- Bankrupting The Guardian
- 633,793 Page Hits from 476,745 Visitors
- Another Day, Another Downing Street Rat...
- Gordon Emails Wendi in New York
- Pundits Think SNP Could Take Glasgow East
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July
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86 comments:
"I can see your column from here"
"Give us a kiss"
Go on give me a kiss
Inhaling too many Ginger Nuts can give you type II diabetes.....
That's a very flattering hairpiece.
Dale comes out of the closet and admits he enjoys being attacked from the right.
A List - Before...after
Dale [for it is he] 'I told you that the only way we could get this close would be if we stood to attention..'
Cadbury's decide to ditch their idea for the Wispa re-launch advertising..
Ginger Whinger meets Tubby Tiger...
"Is is eskimos that rub noses?"
Dale: "Ginger, You're Barmy."
BBC to commission new series of "Alas Smith & Jones"
Grimly, Mr Dale contemplated what he might have become had his career taken a very different turn.
AM NOT ACCEPTING ANONS FOR THIS ONE
[dale] 'So what does it feel it to come face-to-face with the future of the Telegraph Op-Ed department ?'
[heffer] 'I was the future once, [sniff], but I'm no has-been - if you want to take me out you'll have to sumo wrestle me first, fat boy..'
[dale] 'No, No ! Not with those jowls !'..
Take that feeeeeeelth of your Blog
What are we going to call the baby?
Dale plays the well known children's game - Knock Down Ginger.
the best argument was between Dale's hair and his eyebrows
Tory boys never grow up - but they do grow double chins.
'More chins than the hong kong telephone directory!'
ID "You were the future once."
SH "Yes but I least I took a maiden's head"
scissors cut paper, I win.
Simon - You're bald!
Iain - You're ginger!
Rest of the world - You're both a pair of twats.
I was wondering... and you do not disappoint, Guido.
(This is not a caption.)
Iain resolves to ask the speed dating firm for his £10 back.....
That's that young libertarian funster on the left. I'd know him anywhere. But who's the fat ginger bugger?
Heffer takes Queen. Check mate.
If you half close your eyes, it's a candlestick. If you don't, it's not.
Dale: "Ginger"
Simon: "You Heffer call me that again ......"
The 'Hinge and Brackett' reunion tour STARTS HERE!
Don't fancy yours much?
Er, did you floss, honey?
Heffer and Dale. 'And both thought that Hain on his bike would provide that target of this week's competition.'
For once in my life I wish I was Blunkett says the Heff..
First one to blink buys the drinks !
Blogger Blogger on the net
Faced down Christopher Biggins for a bet.
- Heffer talking a load of bullocks as usual!
Iain Dale contemplates the launch of New Conservatism, while Simon Heffer considers yesterday's Conservative lunch.
chin, chin - chin CHIN
Toodlepip
Smart-arse and Lard-arse?
Ngarrrrrrrgh, my eyes!
Dale (for it is he): This isn't the first time I've pulled a heifer.
Verification: Ujoyer. I'll just bet he is.
It's a deal then? A fiver, just to see if we like it.
' Ooh,you're like a Boticelli Venus,luv.'
ID: Are you Heffer, Pollard or Finkelstein? I can never work out which one is which.
Heff 'n Dale, not Chipendales...
comming up on bbc2 "another bit of dail and heffer"
hf: so er hows you blog stats then
dl:there doin alright , you know not quite over 35k , but doin alright.
hf:guido thinks you should rename it mrs dale.
dl:yeah well guido doesnt know what hes on about , besides which hows your blog doing simon.
hf: ill get me coat
Are they both thinking:'I want to eat you!'?
someones having a pop at you on pb.com old chap
come on guido, that strawberry ripple one you blocked was first class and the farsi joke was pretty good. is this a caption contest or a politically correct cover the tories backside one? we need to sort the wheat from the chaff on both sides if we're not going to be lumbered with another set of dullards. you know that. short term party victories are precisely what have fucked this country. they're all fair game, aren't they? don't replicate new labour's failings for fuck's sake.
show me yours and I'll show you mine!
Mel and Gryff fail to rekindle the old magic . . .
So, are you any relation of Eric?
Actually, they're both pissed off Davis didn't win it.
Alias Heffalump & Dahlia
Dale "When was the last time you saw your willy?"
Heffer "Can't remember dear boy, but I know a Dick when I see one"
ID. Why don't you go back to the Daily Mail and leave Daily Telegraph readers in peace.
The Picture of Dorian Gray, but which is which?
My head's bigger than your head!!! (could possibly be attributed to either person)
H:'You intimidated?' D:'Yes but we broke up!'
(Both singing) "Emnity and Irony, live together in perfect harmony, side-by-side on my QWERTY keyboard, why can't we?"
Which one was Mel Smith and Rhys Jones?
In case of OAP's substitute Pete and Dud.
Guido - it was ghastly - Do not - I repeat Do Not consider doing any crap like this.
I only ever go to Mrs Dale's house for the tea and muffins, but just lately a gang of Polish plumbers are ruining the atmos.
"With chins that size, Heffer, we're bound to witness a tie break."
Two minor lights in the political fermament attempted to raise money by beating Peter Hain's 'look a voter in-the-eye' record.Unfortunately,due to the record's short duration,media interest was not forthcoming.
Either. "Give me a kiss. I promise, no tongues"
Oooohhh, get you!!
This art-fad of slicing in half and pickling in formaldehyde has gone too far!
This is the last time we get Marcel Marceau to scriptwrite our party political broadcasts!
SH "Is that a check shirt you are wearing?"
ID "No, it was made in Poland. What about your fancy tie?"
SH "Well, she has a certain oriental charm, I agree"
The bloke on the left (for it is he):
Whatcha reckon on this 'ere credit crunch, then?
The other bloke (for it was he, once):
Will ya shut that fookin' door.
Give us a fucking break. God help us but that Heffer is one ugly bastard. Its a good job Any Questions is on the radio.
Isthis what you call a "Focus Group"?
The next morning, Iain was forced to admit he'd pulled a Heffer.
The slings and arrows of outrageous four chins.
Daily Telegraph's hilarious christmas lunch.
I'll pick your nose if you'll pick mine
Auditions for the new Star Wars TV series turn to casting Jabba the Hutt...
Conkers
Off topic:
Imagine Simon Heffer naked.
It's a truly horrible thought, isn't it?
imagine them both naked sharing a raspberry ripple. sorry.
Have you been eating garlic, you filthy ghingher?
Yeah! to keep you off my neck, slap 'ead!
"I will let go of yours if you let go of mine."
I've got to change this mirror - I look awful!
"You racist"
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