Totty Watch : Xmas Tory Totty
They did invite Guido to the Conservative Future Xmas party but alas it seems the only girls an old rake like Guido sees nowadays are his own progeny.Still this came in an email and it would be a shame not to share...
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
They did invite Guido to the Conservative Future Xmas party but alas it seems the only girls an old rake like Guido sees nowadays are his own progeny.Still this came in an email and it would be a shame not to share...
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107 comments:
I didn't know Austin Powers was a Tory.
they've all got faces like a bulldog chewing on a wasp sitting on a nettle covered in piss.
and the blokes ... well they prove the posh end of the gene pool is in serious fucking decline.
"I'm a chubby chaser.. A very chubby chaser..."
That boy on the bottom right must have a fast-track to the top of the Tory party / will inherit billions when his father croaks / has a huge penis [del as approp.] as I cannot imagine why else that woman is with such an absolute minger...
They say power is an aphrodisiac - it would bloody well have to be with that lot - I hope for their sakes the Tories get back into power - it truly is the only chance that the majority of them have of ever getting laid..
Truly gut-wrenchingly embarrassing..
I see the virginal Labour lot are getting hot under the collar aleardy- do ladies even attend their events?
Top left is 10/10, a real stunner.
OMG.
I'm seriously considering resigning my membership.
I feel quite unwell now.
Cheers Guido. :oS
looks more tatty then totty!
Would that they were a little more 'titty'!
Anon 3.21. It's his sister or cousin. Probably cousin and they are getting engaged.
To be honest, it's images like this that stop me from getting involved in the Conservative society on campus, as well as CF.
Most young Tories do look like a bunch of dickheads.
How do you get a fat bird into bed?....piece of cake.
Sorry.
18 people sharing 29 chins. Truly the nasty party at play. If this is Conservative Future, I dread to think what Conservative Past looks like.
Obviously the bloke in the middle bottom pic has lucked in.
Private dental care is so much better isn't it?
I see you've gone down the diversity route; a Chinese, an Asian, a black girl and some fatties.
The black girl will definitely go down in history.
anon 3:43 PM, don't forget a ginger!
Nobody will ever be able to say that you don't attack Tories again.
lola - isn't the 'bottom middle' pic actually TWO pictures stitched together ?? To make it look as though the Tory party embraces diversity ??
HEY FATTY BUM BUM!!
pssstt don't mention porn stars. I mentioned it once and guido deleted me.
Meanwhile in the commons...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/politics/7137927.stm
Jacqui Smith wishes her tits were this big!
- but only if a joint report by a chief constable and the Director of Public Prosecutions supported it.
Come on guys, don't be cruel, these guys may be able to help being tories, but they can't help the way they look!
Bloke top left looks like me. Oh for f*cks sake.
How do you shag a fat lass?
Slap her arse and ride in on the waves.
Is Billy Piper a tory tott?
(Top second left)
4.09
I didn't know you looked like a gormless mong, Mitch.
fatty - that's my point. Or am I really a Tory?
Apart from nos 1 & 3, horrific. Make you want order in.
Bottom right is the luckiest. (Assuming bottom middle isn't about to get a polish)
45govt - am thinking no 1 looks he's suckin' a lemon...
Top Left.. Claire Hilley.. fit as.
bet mark clarke has nailed them all...
Check out bottom right Lord Soames junior (but with more chins). He must be filthy rich to have a girl like that, she is definately not tagging along for his good looks.
Maybe NuLabour isnt that bad after all. Another 10 more years Gordon?
what a bunch of old dogs.
the middle bottom square - looks like he's just paid for a blow job and is waiting for it to start
Calm down chaps. It was a rocky horror night. You don't actually believe you could get this many genuinely ugly people in one room do you?
Fuck me, is not, in any meaningful sense totty. Is fucking afterbirth kept alive by medical science. God fucking help us, is monsterworld come alive and stalk fucking Earth, did never see such fucking horrors before, all in one fucking place. Is fucking Ugly Bug Ball. Jesus fucking Christ is worse than fucking Loch Ness Monster Wendy Satchmo' Alexander mate with ginger hobgoblin Robin Cook and give birth to swarm of hideous malformed miscarriages and put in party frock. Is some of these freaks going to Guido works outing on Friday?
Give us a fucking break,eh. How about nice sexy pin-up of Gwynyth Dunwoodie, instead, or Anne Widdicombe but no more or this fucking assortment, curdle sperm in fucking testicles.
Who is this Mark Clarke?
Why do so many bespectacled fat red-headed men end up as Tories? Consider Heffer, Pollard and Finkelstein and then look at the 'next generation', which looks the same as the last generation but with less intelligence and far more chins.
Jesus Kerrist, isn't middle left 2 wearing a POLYESTER tie??? Crucify the fucker.
I think it's wonderful that there is still a place in this world for ugly fuckers like me.
(Not that I'm in the photo of course)
stanislav said...
Fuck me, is not, in any meaningful sense totty. Is fucking afterbirth kept alive by medical science.
Couldn't have said it better.
Who's Mark Clarke? Google him...
If you think they're fat, you want to come to Alton.
Woolworth's Pick 'n' Mix is the cultural centre of that Hampshire town.
No, these are the beautiful people, 2007-stylee. God help them. God help us all.
This message brought to you by the suave and glamorous
Dennis
Stop wanking your tories. Leave these people alone.
...don't know him personally, but I remember at Durham uni he ran for president election twice, and lost both times!! First and only person to lose twice I understand.
...don't know him personally, but I remember at Durham uni he ran for president election twice, and lost both times!! First and only person to lose twice I understand.
Tory totty was fantastic last night, lots of fitties....unlike some of a losers who sit around posting on this blog lol ...let's see your pics???
Clearly Asian-Escorts-R-Us did some good business that night. And why has the one with the black chick got a fucking parrot on his shoulder?
Phwoarr. Old spud-head in the bottom-right corner has got gorgeous glowing red eyes. Shame his shirt collar is a curled as an old British Rail sandwich. Learn to use an iron ya lazy fucker!
I thought at first that this was from the canteen scene in Star Wars.
3rd right is Ludmilla Analiskovitch, up and coming Czech porn starlet. I didn't know she was a Tory.
Bottom left...
Is that Annie Lennox in the specs?
Or has one of the fragrant bunch had a discreet chestal enhancement?
My eyes aren't what they used to be...
Led Zep last night were alot more fun, charismatic and younger than this lot. More like Conservative No Future.
For God sake Guido next year sort out a sound system, some pills and some women who want to ride more than a pony.
I swear that bottom left photo one with long hair and glasses is Michael Foot and fat boy on bottom right is Matt Lucas with a wig.
anon 6.08
Naah, its two batty boys, innit.
Off topic:
MaCavity Bean is sign the EU treaty 'IN PRIVATE' - what a wank*r. Evidently he sees his popularity going negative if the pictures of him doing it were to be seen on TV.
As for the pics: "Tory Party Past, Present and Future" an idea by C. Dickens??
Harsh...
... did you lift this from Compass magazine? (used to be delivered to our squat in Hants)
Rastus -
Batty?
As in Norah Batty you mean?
Yeeeees, I can see the likeness.
Are you sure these weren't taken at a branch of KFC?
There seem to be enough fat greasy biffers to grace any fast-food outlet!
"MaCavity Bean is sign the EU treaty 'IN PRIVATE' - what a wank*r. Evidently he sees his popularity going negative if the pictures of him doing it were to be seen on TV."
Going negative? Have you been in a coma for the last 8 weeks?
praguetory 6:49
No - I just lost my canoe paddle for a time....
Captions -
top row:
"See these biceps? Well piss off or I'll use it."
"I've had my teeth done so you won't notice his problem complexion."
He's a banker... she's thinking about his bonus.... so is he, unfortunately.
Thinks... "I can never remember... is this vertical or horizontal?"
middle row:
"My mother was a model, you know. On the McGill postcards...."
"Balsam shampoo? Oh - I thought you said Balti."
"And daddy collects his new Jaguar on Monday - and I get the old one!"
The 'Q' sign is not indicative of a favourable medical outcome.
bottom row:
"Sort of Siamese...we're joined at the wallet... or somewhere very adjacent."
"No, I wanted to go to a rap party, not a crap party!"
Star train-spotter adds class to thrash.
Well... theres one reason for me not to join CF! I have lots of friends are girls who are Tories, and are hot, especially when compared to that. Looking at those pictures quite honestly makes me feel ill... especially the pic 2nd row on the right where the guy is sticking his tongue out...
Another thing which makes me feel ill is the pics on channel 4 news of Gordon 'I only smile when kids are scampering around my feet' Brown and Blinky Balls at the museum of childhood...don't they realise how creepy it looks? Balls talked about the need not to leave anyone behind in education... the most obvious example of this is Gordons goats and Gordon himself... sadly, for them, they won't learn lessons from their mistakes...
Balls, (while his eyes nearly pop out of his head)... 'money doesn't grow on trees' ... no Ed everyone knows that, money comes from the population being over-taxed and very nice donors...oh, and also, money comes from twisting housing allowances with your wifey mp...
It's slightly sad that I could probably name half of those people...
DK
You should be careful to take precautions as the post "came in an email". The email contents could be stuck-up, you may get stuck-up too if you don't take the required the necessary steps to protect yourself.
If you receive an email that has become sticky because someone stuck-up has come in your email don't forget to scan it fully for a virus.
truly awful bunch of freaks!!! pleeeesse
DK - Come along then, what are you waiting for ? Let us have a roll call of shame...
The bloke, second from left, middle row, has had ten pints and fancies and Indian. Nothing unusual there then!
We don't know who's doing what to whom,
With what, and for how much,
God, it's confusing in the upper echelons.
Mike Harding.
Nevertheless, true!
never mind guido, if all go well & you hold your nerve you could end up banging a hot blonde half your age. i am. and i'm poor. ha ha ha ha ha ha. have fun on friday, it's your party, cry if you want to....
p.s. respect to stanislav. can he fix the radiators in the dorm.?
Do rich people steal teeth from the poor? It's the only way I can think of to explain the imbalance.
A Swansea Blog
Two Labour ex-cabinet ministers quoted on Channel 4 news tonight describing Brown as "pathetic" for planning to sign the treaty after everyone else has signed it, and in a closed room so he can't be photographed. They are furious with Brown for making the government a laughing stock both at home and abroad.
Obviously growing numbers of senior Labour party members are finally realising what an incompetent, mendacious clown Brown is.
As our debt-ridden economy deteriorates rapidly next year and Labour go into meltdown in the May elections, the mutiny against Brown will grow.
Is third from top left one of them inflatable fuck dolls you can buy from backstreet sex shops for £20?
Who say's we're not a 'one nation' party. Even the skint ones wearing Primark knickers look like Penelope Keith after a 'bridge' session across the way. Slut's
Sluts
I see professional Brown-arse licker Ben Brogan now claims Brown will sign for the cameras.
That's Gordon fucked then.
Jesus, what a bunch of fat ugly fuckers.
Where did they have the party? Hull?
The guy bottom left is obviously a virgin, and is as close to a female, since he stopped suckling matron.
W.W.
Actually I meant guy bottom right.
W.W.
and only three surnames between them...
I see professional Brown-arse licker Ben Brogan now claims Brown will sign for the cameras.
Brogan is one of the last remaining members of the Gordon-is-a-fucking-genius-of-a-political-strategist club and still gives credence to the bollox Brown's henchmen feed him. Sad really. Ben, the Brown thang's fucking over chum.
Talking about criminally ugly Tory bastards, that Conrad Black got off light. Good job he wasn't six innocent Irishmen down the Old Bailey, or four innocent Irishmen down the Old Bailey or one innocent Libyan in Scotch Holland. Fuck me they'd really have given him some stick if he'd had the nerve to be innocent.
On the other hand, if only he and bosomy, leggy Babs had stayed in England he could have been a New Labour minister in the Lords -he could well afford to buy such a job, like Mr Sainsbury - and been immune from prosecution, however many crimes he committed. Not as clever as he thought, was he ?
We do so hope that Sebastian is on hand to comfort William Hague, who gave him the peerage. And that Maggie Thatcher and Henry Kissinger will hand back to the shareholders all the bungs they took from Black in order to legitimise his fucking thieving, lying, bombastic megalomania.
I wondered too, if there was some further honour the nation might bestow on Field Marshall Max von Cunt Hastings, who served Conrad with such arse-licking distinction. Ms Simone Heffer and all the other ladies at the Trannygraph should also be commended for their diligence in finding and exposing international criminality,or,at the very least, looking the other way, like professional journalists do.
What a shower of hypocritical, moralising cunts is the fourth estate and the house of commons. Crucify with rusty, shitdipped nails some poor fucking tosser fiddle a few quid off the dole. Dame Michaela Portillo and fucking Nancy wotsisname? Lilley want to hang single mother in fucking chains from Tower of fucking London and probably, knowing these fucking deviants, whip skin from back. But when it comes to powerful, 'paper-owning criminals is all form a kneeling queue here with your mouths open lads, and maybe Conrad will give you something. Never mind scepticism and arms length, Black get peerage from fucking imbecile slaphead, useless mouthy prick, Hague, of Hague & Coe, Karate Fighters Down The Boys' Gym R Us.
But Trannygraph's Charles Head Boy Moore, Hastings and Simone Heffer are a uniquely scabrous bunch of poxed-up Black cocksuckers. That verminous, scowling, pursed-lip, tut-tutting, obnoxious little freak Heffer, face all screwed-up, lecturing all and sundry on their shortcomings. One of Black's look the other way creatures, owing her career to him, who the fuck does she think she is? In my country, storm office, drag cunt out by hair and drop down mineshaft. No more fucking two-faced moralisng then. Job done. Horrible fucking rabble-rousing little prat.
We should not forget that even though is fucking season of good fucking will to very cunt must draw fucking line somewhere. People who claim to be impartial, questioning, investigative, objective journalists somehow missed the glaringly obvious truth that they were involved with, supporting, legitimising by default, and massaging the ego of an obnoxious thieving bully who shat in the faces of those same small shareholders whom the Trannygraph impudently claims to champion.
Well done lads, give yourselves some awards.
give that man a coconut...
Bottom right: this, my friends, is what you call charity work.
And re: Black. I note that the UK didn't have the balls to charge him with anything. The Yanks can have him.
raincoaster
GUIDO!
Now is the time for the 2008 "Katie Taylor-Richards" calendar.
Ask her politely please.
Centre left: Melissa Bean, gf of multi-millionaire banker Daniel Novak. HOT.
"multi-millionaire banker Daniel Novak"
Hahahahaha. Am in stitches. Met Dan Novak on Thursday. What a dufus. Claims he's a millionaire head of trading or something. In fact he's a grad on like £35k after getting fired from his last job. The face of Conservative Future, no difference to the Past!!
Hmm. Now I am reminded why I have never bothered with pursuing females -- and I'm certainly far too old to start now, by the way!
On top of the obvious, there's the sheer cost, the nagging, ultimately a mother-in-law -- not worth the bother really, is it?
Some fat munters on there, even i may have had a chance.
Its clearly an improvement tottywise but still too many utter mingers in the Tory party. It angers me. We need a final purge.
2nd from left in top row looks like a blow sex doll. Sorry whoever it is.
Who is gingham boy in the top row ?
Doesn't his Polish au pair need to stand on a copy of the Yellow Pages or something ??
Top left, Clare Hilley (Scorching hot hot hot)
Thanks Mike !!
The good news for these people is that there is a second series of
''Gavin and Stacey'' in the pipeline, so they may well need a supply of fat munters for one of their 'crowd scenes', and these people may well be grateful for a few quid in the back pocket come the new year to be extras on the telly-box, look you...
Are you thinking what the guy second from top right is thinking?
(i.e Why do all the Tory Girls munt as bad as Ann Widdecome?)
That guy bottom right is called Dan Syndrome, he works for MENCAP
The YCs were better in my day (70's). Shagged like rabbits, especially the snooty ones.
"Mike Litteris said...
Top left, Clare Hilley (Scorching hot hot hot)
11:30 AM, December 12, 2007"
From TV Show profile of Castaway
Clare Hilley, 22, trainee pilot from Purley, Surrey. Has ambitions to become a Tory MP and is currently chair of Conservative Future, London south. Last year, she was the youngest candidate to stand in a local election in the UK and dislikes the 'uneducated and narrow-minded.' She says: "Margaret Thatcher said it like it was. She is one of my heroes.'
Does anyone like the uneducated and narrow-minded?
Top row:
I wouldn't mind being on an island with you
Billie Piper? More like Billy Mitchell
Tory Sloanes
Love makers
Middle row:
Call me bubbles
Chiken Tikka Masala
Daddy, I want another pony
Where did the buffet go?
Bottom row:
The waiters got drunk
Nice baps
We sometimes take them out for a walk, helps them fit in to society
Do any women actually read this blog? (and yes I am male)
What a bunch of munters
Diane abbot lookalike might sneak a photofinish on the strength of her tits. We shall never know.
Why is everyone complaining. I'm sure most have facebook profiles with pictures more controversial than these. Chill guys. Everyone should have fun, Merry Christmas.
Girls look quite a bit of alright, the men were prob just happy to get them drunk!
Tragedy is, many of us will live long enough to be ruled by these little fucktards...
Your seeming discerning obsession with totty, Mr. Fawkes, is wholly admirable! The prospect of more of same and being able to call our so-called obedient servants sundry cunts and wankers is a most potent brew.
Happy New Year to nearly all!
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