Rich & Mark's Monday Morning View
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Official UK Report Criticises Shrum - Danny Finkelstein
Ban the Word "Toff" - Iain Dale
PMQs Cruel But Funny - Simon Carr
Brown Lies at PMQs - Fraser Nelson
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55 comments:
Linked article says: I hear that British banks are already running to the European Central Banks for loans, as they have lost confidence in this country - and that all this has deeply damaged London's financial reputation, on which so much of our economy depends.
This cannot be. Snotgobbler is the greatest financial manager since Sweyn Forkbeard.
Tell me that stuff ain't true... please.
That's the most flattering depiction of the snot-gobbler I've seen. Low morale? Couldn't happen to a more deserving pervert.
Psychologically flawed Brown is heading for a mental breakdown and his weak and corrupt government is on the verge of meltdown.
And all this within six months of him becoming Prime Minister.
Somebody within the government/establishment should do something quickly or there will be disastrous consequences for the country if this is allowed to go on.
I think it's becoming clear that Brown is the worst Prime Minister this country has ever had.
Somebody within the government/establishment should do something quickly or there will be disastrous consequences for the country if this is allowed to go on.
You weren't listening. I said Snotgobbler was the greatest manager of the nation's finances since Eric Bloodaxe. It said so in the papers. Trust him.
Rosebury? North?
Anybody would be depressed with 5 chin testicles (and none down below).
I don't see what's so disgusting about snotgobbler eating hez bawgies.
He's gay so Christ knows what else he's had in his mouth over the years.
there i was thinking my christmas would be free of vomiting and then milliband turns up on TV in Basra , handing over what our lads have worked so hard for to give the iraqis a chance of another form of rule , and there it was his squinting face , but oh not the happy chappy of glee when gordo was in the shit , but the more cautious not so sure milliband , whats up dave , news reached you , that your cabinet of talents has been rummbled , is and i quote mr cameron "2007 the year you got found out"
i notice that being as all your policies have been shot down last week and full of holes , and now the cops , the farmers and the road hauliers are wanting there taxation balls squeezed less . tories 45% poll lead but its the hemmoraging to the liberals that must hurt , socialists go liberal you have to laugh , so i work out that when socialist goverments are rubbish you get the BNP and Nick Clegg . what a choice .
unfornutately Sir John Major was so keen to correct the sleaze mauling nu labour gave him in the 90s. what everyone forgets about john major is that he was a rather excellent minister , his comptence being labelled as dullness , which was unfair . he actually handed nu labour an economy in excellent health .
however inbetween the shock of seeing marr not really knowing how to inetrview Sir John (could be deliberate) we missed the salient which the treasury then went onto to rubbish .
merv could have his revenge now in backing the figs , the one i liked was 400 tonnes of gold at $275 an oz now that gold is at $800 an oz that differential which would be very handy $525
i make that (400 tonnes) 17.92 million oz or $9.4 billion (£4,2 billion) on the balance sheet .
so is it worse than black wednesday ???
also northern rock is due to the tripartate system gordon set up , lets be honest the warnings on northern rock were available in april and may, the system failed an idependent bank is fine , however a useless regulation and control system is quite another.
also i though he was too polite in saying that he thought they were carless , i still maintain they are wholly corrupt , but i agree with on him on not funding parties with tax payers and remoteness of politicians , parties should be grass root funded .
all in all it was nice to hear from Sir john , so long as he keeps a clear head from the inetrviewer trying to resurect old ghosts to make viewers think nu labour are not that bad .
as for cabinet experience i quite agree , people who have only had special advisor jobs are indeed very dangerous when they get to the ministerial position .
jaquis gone quiet , wonder why perhaps she was winding the police up a bit to much.
hiliary hasnt quiet de briefed everyone yet on bali , but he wont push it .
if gordon goes i think i can live with jack straw , but he must call election in may , two pms without a mandate is just taking the piss .
hope theres news on hain this week , waited a long time for his scams to get publicised.
unfortuately no news from harmens camp .
as for lib dems , i think it will be a close call , but clegg may have it , either that or hes getting drunk too soon , paddy and baroness wiliams seem to back him , and kennedy wants in , and if hulne looses then the lib desm will have lost a good chance to become a party to be based in the real world. clegg will be straight off to the EU , just as its corruption comes to the for.
had to laugh at macnulty getting wheeled out , trouble is tony i dont think your that clean of sleaze are you
A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.
After catching his breath he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?"
" No," he replied, "arthritis."
A young girl is wandering through a park in the pouring rain, when she comes across 3 dogs. Being a bit of an animal lover, she approaches them, bends down and starts to stroke one of them:
"Ah, you're lovely, aren't you?" she says to the first dog. "What's your name?"
To her surprise, the dog actually answers her, "My name's Huey, and I've had a great day going in and out of puddles."
Delighted with this discovery, she moves on to the next dog. "And what's your name then?"
Again, unbelievably, the 2nd dog answers her, "My name's Lewy, and I've had a great day going in and out of puddles."
And so she moves on to the last dog. "Let me guess," she says. "your name's Dewy, and you've had a great day going in and out of puddles."
"No," replies the last dog. "My name's Puddles, and I've had an awful day."
In Scotland the joke is more robust. A wee boy goes to the ice cream van and the lady prepares him a big cornet with chocolate flake and syrup and everything and finally asks the wean "would you like crushed nuts?" "Only if you fancy a kick in the tits."
From the Telegraph's breaking news feed:
Tommy Sheridan, the flamboyant Scottish politician, was yesterday charged with perjury in relation to a £200,000 libel trial.
The essential frustrations and contradictions of Brown are captured in his chewing his fingernails to the quick - but in also trying to excavate his nose with these stumps. Science has demonstrated that the ideal is a 3mm nail for maximum effective picking. But he tries to do it without proper tools - those very tools he has destroyed.
All very symbolic of the way he has broken, belittled and cast aside those who would have been his best assets in Government. Now he is trying to get some purchase with the bloodied stumps that are Balls, Ed Miliband and Wee Dougie
Oh, and that tie he's wearing? Way too clean...
We are foooooooooooooookkkkkkkkkeed.
there will be disastrous consequences for the country if this is allowed to go on.
Where have you been for the past ten years? The disaster has already happened. The latest part of the shambles unfolds, paying failed asylum seekers to go home.
You couldn't make it up.
Why is it than whenever I see a picture of Snotgobbler McBean I get an atavistic urge to cut his head off and put it on a stick?
That picture is way too flattering. Look at the way Tone aged. In 6/12 time Bully Bean will look like Shrek.
It's a good thing for people to realise that appointing leaders without election is a bad idea for all concerned.
Brown was kept on because he would have made too much trouble for Blair had he been got rid of, knowing where all the bodies are buried. He poisoned the well so successfully that all fell before him. Now he only has his own downfall to look forward to.
Better a quick kill surely than to prolong the agony.
This is where you get to if you allow somebody to obtain the position of Prime Minister on the basis of a "mandate" in the form of a grubby agreement made in secret in a backstreet restaurant between the present office holder and his predecessor! Neither had the proper authority to conclude such a deal.
The ironic thing is that if the Labour MP's in parliament had had a proper sense of democracy and their duties they could have stopped this and insisted upon a proper election. However, as no doubt they are beginnning to realise, their "reward" will be to join their so called leader when he is kicked out of office. Brown has passed the point of no return, as did Bliar, where the people of this country will not have him at any price and will take their revenge upon hin and his associates as soon as the opportunity occurs. Hanging on for as long as possible before calling an election will not alter Brown's situation and/or the contempt he is now held in.
Those gutless Labour MP's should also realise people recognise they are equally guilty to the charge of having sold the British people down the river by signing the new European Constitution without previously holding a Referendum as they promised. Those MP's could have forced the issue if they cared for their reputations for dealing honestly with the public!
Wasn't there a time when people would claim, "My word is my bond?"
Not content with having 4 stooges on the MPC, Stalin McBrown plans to seize control of the Bank of England:
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/politics/article3060230.ece
"Plans by ministers to wrest key powers from the Bank of England for use during any future crisis in the banking system emerged yesterday amid fresh signs of tensions with the Treasury.
Alistair Darling, the Chancellor, is considering reforms that would allow him to take control of all decisions during an emergency such as the one that triggered the run on Northern Rock......"
Does Gordo Bean drink?
do the honourable thing Gordon that all traitors to our country should do - hang yourself.
Before we all run away thinking that Major's administration was not as bad as it was, remember the recent parliamentary committee report that was damning of the stich-up that was the sale of the Derence Research organization called QinetiQ. The big winfall profits were made by Carlyle - and who has a financial interest in that organisation?, why John Major.
Perhaps that is why he carefully focused his criticisms saying that under his adminstration individuals were sleazy, but not the government. Remember the railway privatization if you want to remember a real Tory cock-up (that is unless you were a train-leasing crony).
Major's mob deserved the boot -just like the present lot do now.
Looks as if Gordon's feeling pretty good this morning then, all things considered?
Brown is already on the verge of being remembered in the history books as the most appalling and hated Prime Minister of the modern era.
sale of the Derence Research organization called QinetiQ
And who actually SOLD IT (much under value)?
That would be ZanuLab, you fuckwit.
prudence? yes, NuLab flogged it off, but that does not alter the fact that it had all been set up by Major and Co - who benefitted from it mightily.
if the Labour MP's in parliament had had a proper sense of democracy and their duties...
What on earth makes you think you're living in a democracy? This is Great Britain 2007. You must be thinking of somewhere else, although probably not in Europe. The EU has made sure of it. Not America either - that's been hijacked by the New Puritans and corporate vandals.
Trying to think where you meant...
Dysfunctional? Paralysed by low morale?
Certainly not! I listened to a discussion on R4 last night with the fragrant Emily Thornberry (Lab., Islington, majority 12), Ben Brogan of the Daily Mucus, and a third luminary whose identity escapes me for the moment. Said discussion chaired by the equally fragrant Carolyn Quim (?) -- anyhoo, all were agreed that Mr Brown was here to stay! There was talk of his priorities (though by definition only ONE priority is possible -- Latin, you know), but no mention whatever of a blatant disregard for the rule of law. Nor do I remember much about the imminent collapse of the Ponzi scheme which has hitherto kept the nostrils of a drowning economy just above the surface. Suggestions that Mr J. Straw or others were plotting to disthronize their leader were dismissed as groundless.
So there you have it, from the BBC, so it must be true.
My own take on matters, that his priority is simply to cling to office for as long as he can, is revealed as ignorant and cynical.
P.S. I am gloomy today. Hazel has dumped me.
dennis.
Melanie Phillips will be delighted with this analysis. She argues today that Cameron must hope that Brown is still in place for the next election.
Anon 10.57 No one said John Major's govt weren't deserving of being booted out.*
The problem being that getting rid of them was like being cured of Hepatitis to get Ebola
* Individually flawed but not systemically corrupt and at least able to handle the economy better for the long term rather than surfing a debt bubble, pretending to have abolished the economic cycle...Whom the gods seek to destroy, they first make mad.
The Police Federation are pretty p*ss&d off too following the publication of a Home Office leaked memo from July indicating that the Home Office had no intention of abiding by the arbitration process BEFORE they even went into it and that there was never a possibility of the 2.5% award being paid in full and that the top rate was always going to be no more than 1.9% after Jacqui Smith and sought approval from No 10 aka Mr Bean.
The feeling is that whilst the government caved in to other public sector workers who had the strike option the police were considered an easy target insofar as they are legally unable to strike and the message coming through in the memo is - let 'em threaten what they like they'll just have to lump it 'cos they can do feck all about it.
The first rule of an unpopular government is - Don't whatever you do p*ss off the police !
Anon. 10:46 -- no no, she will see it as an anti-Zionist conspiracy.
hovis said...
to Anon 10.57
Yep, hovis I agree with you. I voted for NuLabour, like many others, to kick the sleazy Tories out, only to find that they were as bad. At least I learnt from my mistake and now vote UKIP whenever possible.
Dennis. I warned you, don't say not get warning off plumber. Mixed marriage never work. Dwarf and hunchback. Is fucking doomed mate. Come up in Scotland, home of freak misalliance, King Alex of Scotland married to his old mother, live in attic and only come out for election time to prove is married. Bit like Mr & Mrs Brown; is Bonny Scotland, up here, sickest place in world, can maybe do better with fucking hobgoblin or something, is plenty here.
Talk of which Mr Alan Clements, husband of grunting, transsexual hunchback Krusty Wark, off Newswank, has judge say last week, you is fucking disgusting and dishonourable. Not because of married to monster surgical creation, is ok in Scotland, but because of business dealings.
Big Al give interview in paper. Everything OK really. Act in good faith. No intention to do wrong. Is all fault of au pair, bitch. Pay minimum wage and look at all this shit she got me into. Only learn of my own disgusting behaviour five minute ago and already au pair is resign. Is fucking toast. See, is prompt action. Dealing with matter. Make enquiry and draw line in snot, sorry, mean sand. Absolutely no intention to be thieving two-faced cunt. Man of great integrity And, Oy, leave my Mrs, Krusty, out of this, he's a personal friend,you know, of Donald Trump.
The concensus seems to be that Snotgobbler is fucked.
Isn't it sad that he, dull cunt that he is, will not earn a brass farthing on the lecture circuit.
That will really make Bliar's day and mine.
Stanislav, you were right all along.
I never learn.
I must take down that pinup from my blog.
Did the judge really say that? "You is fucking disgusting and dishonourable"?
I once got trapped by jury service. The judge was great. He would listen to conflicting evidence and sum it up. "Mr X says the defendant was in the pub at nine o'clock. And Mr Y says the defendant was not in the pub at nine o'clock. So there it is. Let's move on." [To the barrister] "Your next witness, please!"
For Sweet Dennis
"Doubt thou the stars are fire, doubt that the sun doth move, doubt truth to be a liar but never doubt that I love."
W. Shakeshump.
ex-pat
it doesn't matter about the lecture circuit. The bankers will see he gets a drink. Never, thanks to Brown's economic miracle have so many been in so much debt to the banks. Never have so many bankers paid themselves so much in bonuses stolen from their customers. Haliburton will see him right, too. They have made incalculable sums from the US taxpayer, and the Iraqi people's oil, and off, thus, Tommy's spilled guts. Gordon and the rest made it possible, of course he'll get a bung.
I wish you were right but Brown won't be, unlike so many of his victims, from wounded Tommy Atkins to small business people to sick impoverished pensioners - begging on the street.
This cartoon at the top, it ain't really funny, though you have to laugh. Brown is a cruelly damaged, immature, sixty year old nervous wreck, a gay man living an Emperor's New Clothes lie. If he had any friends they would have had him sectioned long ago; instead a rotten and corrupt Labour party has indulged his fantasy, thinking there might be something in it for them, and, for the most mediocre, the most incompetent and the vilest -the cabinet - there has been.
There are other soothsayers, metaphysicians, astrologers, necromancers, oracles and tealeaf & giblet readers round here but this humble plumber believes we have not seen a fraction of the damage to our country that these people have wrought. Brown, far worse than the caricature at the top, needs hospitalisation and most of the rest of them belong in jail. In the interests of national security.
ps Dennis, certainly judge said you, Mr Krusty, is dishonourable; disgusting, lying, thieving spinning NewLabour cunt was left in the air. But you can take stanislav word. Wark-Clements was a real smooth public sector gravy train operation. And they are both a pair of NewLabour Power Cunts.
Your vision was to destroy ours.
we'll be waiting for you along with the ghosts of 14 dead crewmen.
Not long to wait now.
Be afraid of the dark, Gordon, ....be very afraid
All we need now is a war to distract us from this cluster fuck of a government?.
mitch
shhhh
I wonder how Gordon & The Gov Of All The Talents will handle today's crashtastic disaster? - London's house prices down 6.7% IN ONE MONTH!
Or as the BBC often like to report [when prices are increasing, natch] falling at an annualised rate of -81.6%
Perhaps a COBRA meeting?
Gordon Brown - Not Flash, Just useless
Gordo's desperately tired. Perhaps he could try daily injections of methamphetamine like Adolf Hitler.
On Tuesday, at a reception thrown by the giant Unite union and attended by Gordon Brown, one of the PM's intimates told me Gordon was "desperately tired."
link
In the land of the 6000 blind, the one eyed man is prime-minister.
;)
I wonder if gordo knows how desperately tired of him and his party we all are?
Stanislav:
"If he had any friends they would have had him sectioned long ago; instead a rotten and corrupt Labour party has indulged his fantasy, thinking there might be something in it for them, and, for the most mediocre, the most incompetent and the vilest -the cabinet - there has been."
There, in under fifty words, the finest summary of the Brown era you will ever read. (Although to round it up to fifty, you might have added "nose-picker" somewhere...)
"Gordo's desperately tired. Perhaps he could try daily injections of methamphetamine like Adolf Hitler."
At least the Fuehrer had the basic common decency to shoot himself. I doubt we can expect such grace under pressure from Grim Gordon.
Do you realise that every year this pathetic train wreck of a government stays in office, Testes and his giraffe necked cunt of a wife pocket another quarter of a million quid from the serfs? These unemployable tossers will do anything to keep this going, another couple of years and they'll be fucking millionaires.
methamphetamine hmm. would this react adversely with the large dose of largactil he needs to get out of bed and the valium he needs before PMQs and the massive Viagra frizbee he takes before mounting his "wife" or does blinky serve as a "fluffer" im sure the poor woman doesn't know which way to turn in bed.
Dear Mr Stanislav
Mr Screwtape has asked me to write to you correct any impression you may inadvertently be giving out regarding our client Mr Brown, and bungs or drink-giving bankers. They didn't get where they are today...
As you may be aware, despite our recent modernization programme and re-branding, HellCo likes to do business in accordance with tradition and the values which have made us one of the best-known brands on the planet. Out representatives are known to consumers of every major religion and non-religion alike, second only to the Avon Lady. Indeed, their award-winning slogan ‘ding dong – Avon calling’ was based on our own ‘Hell’s Bells – Bring out yer dead’ (circa 1350) campaign.
Perhaps the biggest reorganization overseen by Mr Screwtape in his developmental role was the introduction of the Silver Disloyalty Card, 'says more about you etc', in to which we had the pleasure to enroll Mr Brown in 1994.
The deal was on the traditional terms but with an innovative three- phase buy-to-buy structure.
In phase one, Mr Brown was to receive his heart's desire or be exposed. Put like that, it was obviously in Mr Brown's interests to accept the unchallenged leadership of Tony Blair. Anyone who has done business with our CEO Mr S - who handles these deals personally - knows that he has a taste for practical jokes. Therefore, within three days activists up and down the country were aware of why Mr Brown had pulled out of the leadership race and would not be getting it by default. Mr S said it was hilarious showing his cloven hoof holding a gateau fork that night, but neither of the diners were prepared to recognize him, even when he tucked his napkin under his chin using his pointed tail, and bruleed the caramel on his own crème by huffing on it.
As a bonus, activists up and down the country decided that the best way to deal with this slur was not to find out the truth of it, but to pretend they had not heard and did not for a moment suspect Mr Brown. Mr S spits on them.
Phase two was Mr Brown's payment with the chancellorship, for which he acted as our agent during his years in the no.2 slot. Mr S kept him on this job for as long as possible because he’s such a tease.
Finally, phase 3 involved Mr Brown receiving his due promotion, then having a non-stop stream of disasters to deal with. Buying the courier company which carries data for government departments was also pioneered by our Mr Screwtape, who really knows how to bugger things up if you can't do it for yourself. However, we cannot take credit for everything; HIPs were entirely of the government's own making. We have high hopes of one or two of the architects of that legislation.
The successful conclusion of phase 3 was the signing of the 'Protocols of the Elders of Lisbon' as we call it. Mr Brown became entirely our property at that point and has received the traditional payment or 'bung' which in this case is 30 x 5p pieces set in an acrylic paperweight. Mr S is very keen on tradition and would not want it said that we do not keep our word.
Mr Screwtape sends his regards with the full understanding that you do not believe in the reality or necessity of his existence. Fair enough; it’s no scales of our tails. The important thing is that our client Mr Brown has always known of us, believed in us, and despite that went ahead and signed anyway. His choice, like his old dad always warned him. He’s ours now until the Almighty activates the Judgment Day procedure
I do realize this is of no comfort to you; it isn’t meant to be as our agent has indeed wrought marvelous trouble. However, we would be much obliged if you would stop putting it about that Mr S has gone soft in his old age. With him, a deal is never quite what it seems and that, too, is a standard we uphold to this day, just you wait and see if we don’t.
Yours for all eternity
p.p. Mr Screwtape
Debbie, PA to Mr Screwtape
P.S. Are you a winner? Scratch the magic panel on the top of this manuscript and ring the number to find out.
Labour trolls; I know you're out there, I can hear you breathing.
Sorry to have to say this but I think Gordon has a master plan to save himself from his desperate sense of isolation.
Over the next 12 months especially, he is going to make us all as depressed as he is.
Dear Debbie PA to Mr S
I'm awful sorry, I wouldn't want to upset you fuckers for a minute. If there's something there you want me to retract just you say so and I'm your man; or, rather, I wouldn't wanna be your man, not even for five minutes, never mind fucking eternity. That's a long time, right?
I tell you what, how about you put this to Mr S ? I got a few goats out here in the grounds. I'll slit all their throats and drink the blood right up. Every fucking drop. I won't pretend I like this sort of shit. But if it keeps Mr S cool, why, fuck it, it's the least I can do.
I shoulda known that that Brown guy kept heavy company. Got that look about him. But like you say, a deal's a deal, eh? If you got his ass from now until Kingdom fucking come you don't want me screwing things up. I can dig that.
I'm awful sorry if I caused Mr S any upset. If its any help I can come and fix his toilets up. I normally say StanislavPlumbCheap4U but in Mr S's case, I'll do it for free. That's my best offer. I'll drink the hot blood, I'll fix up the toilet and then you guys just forget all about me. I'll stop posting on here. And I'll go back to the Old Country and become a priest. Only not the kiddy-fiddling kind. I fucking hate that shit, don't you? Oh, never mind, sorry I asked. Mr S probably got some deal with the Vatican right? Yes, thought so.
It was really great to hear from you and I'm sorry about everything.
Your humble, plumbing servant, like the great Polish poet Coleridge said, a sadder and a wiser man, stanislav
Not your funniest- depresion is a serious illness, Gordon's just a moron.
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