CCHQ Designated Party Poopers Tonight
CCHQ are having their Christmas party tonight. Somebody is worried that the boys and girls will get out of hand. Surely not, this isn't the Bullingdon Club after all...
Dear All,
HR have just had a word with me regarding the CCHQ duty of care and tonight's party.
In essence this means each Department nominating someone to 'be sensible' and ensure that each of their people aren't found (a) drunk (b) abusing other members of staff and (c) that each person in their team gets off the premises safely.
Therefore please can I leave it to you all to nominate someone sensible within your teams to make sure that tonight goes smoothly?
Many thanks
Jennie Gorbutt │ Party Chairman's Office │CCHQ
The Human Resources party-pooper is Giles Inglis-Jones, who once tried to impose a gagging contract on all CCHQ staff. He is not popular at CCHQ nor, as you can see above, was the gagging contract successful.Do feel free to email pictures of "sensible" drunken fun to Guido, photocopied bum prints are a must...
34 comments:
I always like the story of Geoffrey Robertson dancing with Mary Whitehouse at the Young Conservatives ball. Apparently he trod on her toes.
Of course after that, the only way Mary Whitehouse could get the attention of her beloved was to bring a court case in favour of censorship. Geoffrey Robertson, as a civil liberties and media law barrister, would then be instructed by the other side!
Duty of care?
At a party?
Doesn't that mean ensuring that the booze doesn't run out and that the Boardroom table is available for 'spectaculars'?
Let's just hope that John Redwood isn't in attendance.
Inglis Jones is an idiot.
Didn't he break the confidentiality clause of his previous employer BNFL by plaigiarising their version to use at the Tories?
It even had the initials BNFL in the corner. See here:
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,17129-2017371,00.html
Idiot and overpaid. Just under 100k last year.
and ensure that each of their people aren't found (a) drunk (b) abusing other members of staff and (c) that each person in their team gets off the premises safely.
err...ummm....whats the point in showing up if you can't be well and truly (a), (b) and (c)'d or preferably all three?
Word verify: spddza (spad daze?)
That is clearly what is wrong with the party nowadays.
No one is drinking enough.
Fallout falling over a barren wasteland as the skies slowly turn blood red and everything turns to black - one f***ing cheerful Christmas card if you ask me. What do their graphics people come up with when its a bad day then?
Thank God I haven't seen the Labour one yet - that's probably something 'cute' like an animation of Gordon Brown pretending to be Santa.
I concur that Mr Giles Inglis-Jones is a complete muppet and a joke of an HR Director
they better have a good drink as they will need to be worried about the shitty public finances they will be inheriting in a few months time.
Yes yes, Friday's contest should feature an illicit photocopy with the breezy caption "Whose Fundament is This?"
Sender to claim the prize if answer is unguessed by the commnenting rabble.
N. Soames and A. Widdicombe not to enter.
I'm sure they'll rock me out of the Millbank tower tonight... those naughty boys and girls ...can one of you bring some champs and mince pies to my floor?
Guido an off topic contribution:
Have you heard the remarkable news that the Treasury is going to underwrite all of NR loans.
Why remarkable?
1) It means that the Bank of England has not got enough reserves to continue stemming the NR financial haemorrage AND try to lend money at a cheap rate to keep the other Banks afloat.
2) If houses are overvalued by 50% as is widely claimed then the 100 Billion assets of NR upon which the inter-bank loans were taken out could easily shrink to 50 Billion. This means that the taxpapyer is directly liable for the 50 Billion shortfall.
Clearly the BoE is at its limits now. Also just where is Gordo's source of this underwriting money? We are overborrowed as a country already.
We are seeing the unravelling of the Banking system. In the early days of the 1930's depression Americal politicians used to talk about 'Prosperity'. When ever I hear a politician now use that word I cringe from its association with the 1930s economic disaster that were a consequence of political and economic ideas then.
"ensure that each person in their team gets off"
Now that's a caring manager!
steve g, naughty boys and girls, are there any girls at CCHQ? I though there were just bigs girls blouses.
No wonder Charlie Kennedy turned them down if you aren't allowed to get lashed up at the crimbo party
I hope this policy of nominating someone sensible to look after the others isn't extended to the Shadow Cabinet
Jennie Jennie Jennie! Thou cockered tickle-brained strumpet hath a spur-galled barnacle for an Über Mein Führer.
Who is HR, and what was the word?
What they need is someone sensible to usher everyone off to the local Chinese when the idiots become a little too boring and incoherent.
Can you think of anyone who is ideally suited for the job, Guido?
Wolverhampton SW
Hereford
Ashfield
Party Pooper Free Areas
Giles (A List)Inglis-Jones makes David Mellor likeable.........oh for the good old days,
I agree with aforementioned comments that Giles Inglis-Jones is a man of highly dubious nature... amongst the most useless of people ever to have graced the face of the earth.
It is sad to see he has stooped to the PC brigade that I thought Tories were supposed to be against!!
A duck walks into a bar and asks: "Got any Bread?"
Barman says: "No."
Duck says: "Got any bread?"
Barman says: "No."
Duck says: "Got any bread?"
Barman says: "No, we have no bread."
Duck says: "Got any bread?"
Barman says: "No, we haven't got any fucking bread."
Duck says: "Got any bread?"
Barman says: "No, are you deaf?! We haven't got any fucking bread, ask me again and I'll nail your fucking beak to the bar you irritating bastard of a fucking bird!"
Duck says: "Got any nails?"
Barman says: "No"
Duck says: "Got any bread
Why does Heaton-Harris get two stockings and Helmer only one. That's not fair.
" each of their people aren't found (a) drunk (b) abusing other members of staff"
I expect much better grammar and style from the Conservative party. "Each" is singular so the phrase should read (albeit the style is poor) "each of their people IS not found (a) drunk .." Using "each" with a negative leads to poor style. The phrase should have been "None of their people is found (a) drunk ...."
I would concur that Giles Inglis-Jones is a moron.
Apparently, the way of assessing reseachers in how badly they've been dealt with by Inglis-Jones.
The top members of get hassled with intrusive surveys about their provate lives and refused promotions or salary rises because of his ridiculous 'job-sizing' crap.
You can tell who the very best members of staff are because he's made them redundant.
"I would concur that Giles Inglis-Jones is a moron."
Obviously, he's a Tory.
Horatius, The 'each' refers to the nominated person, the 'aren't' refers to the plural people.
That makes you wrong. Possibly.
who has inglis jones made redundant?
This from the Party that won't shutup about "the nanny state".
Very instructive...
Richard Jackson photocopied his bum!
Eurosceptic Tories? Is such deviation from the Camoron allowed?
I appreciate I'm a bit behind the times here but I met the aforementioned HR numpty yesterday... what a berk !
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