Friday Caption Contest (Watt, Abraham, Who? Edition)
Brown' s Undeclared "Donation in Kind" - COP Blog
Think-Tank Roundup - Cassilis
Charity Criticised by Regulator for Links to Gordon Brown - Bloomberg
Official UK Report Criticises Shrum - Danny Finkelstein
Ban the Word "Toff" - Iain Dale
PMQs Cruel But Funny - Simon Carr
Brown Lies at PMQs - Fraser Nelson
105 comments:
if i were a rich man...da da dadadada.
'Ready chaps? Say "...Sleaze..." Thank you'
L'Oreal Men Expert - helps me look ten years younger.
fellow graduates of the Shropshire and Herefordshire Infantry Training School.
Gordon never was any good with a camera!
Smile please, the next time your photographed together you will be holding numbers!
where's Duggie?
What a swell party this is
..and in the film 'Nice and Sleazy does it everytime..' Watt will be played by Rowan Atkinson, and Abrahams by Mel Brooks...
Screenplay by Mendelsohn..
Are you as bent as my bow tie?
Can you leave a big gap there gents, we'll photoshop Tony into it later.
'You've got to pick a pocket or two..'
'Well, Peter, Gordon spurned my 'advances', but Harriet was nowhere near as fussy..'
[Watt] Well she can't afford to be, now can she ? '
The Beeblebrox Brothers say "Heads will roll? Such is life - why do think we always carry a spare?"
Watt: "I wasn't aware you had a Siamese twin, David?"
Watt: "Busy on Saturday?"
'Listen, do you want to know a secret ? Do you promise not to tell ? Closer, let me whisper in your ear..'
Fiddler and the Poof
The bow ties and faces are as wonky as their big deals!
[DA] 'Well, Peter, just you remember my 'golden rule'..'
[PW] 'What's that, David ?'
[DA] 'If you go down, just make sure you take some other bastards with you , or they'll think you'll always be willing to be the 'fall guy'..'
David Abrahams/Martin: "Which one are you? Ant or Dec?"
[Abrahams] 'Nice to see that Harriet's strategy is 'mad'..'
[Watt] 'That's not very nice, she may not be the sharpest tool in the box, but she isn't completely barking..'
[Abrahams] 'That is what I mean - her strategy is Mutually Assured Destruction'..
Gottle a gear. Ooks. I ngean gottle a shankain. I'ng only a dungy - can't do anything for nyselth. Ith I gith you thithe thousand kounds can you gith ne a glank cheque?
[DA] 'I hear that Gordon Brown is promising a 'new type of politics' ? '
[PW] 'Correct. Tony Blair failed to be prosecuted for corruption, but I am helping to ensure that Gordon will succeed in that objective..'
Those two little Geordie rent-boys, Ant and Dec, are looking a bit rough since they got caught out in that phone-in scandal.
Abrahams seems happy. Perhaps he's thinking about all the cock he'll get in the Big House.
[PW] 'Aren't you worried that your dodgy dealings will be rumbled and you will end up doing some porridge?'
[DA] 'Not at all - I will just use my 'anti-semitism' Get Out Of Jail free card..
Those Piccadilly rent-boys scrub up nicely before they're introduced to Gay Gordon.
"your donations fit in perfect with the fibonacci code"
Attending a black tie reception with the General Secretary of the Labour Party is rather odd behaviour for a recluse who was too shy to want anyone to know he was bankrolling the party. Howard Hughes was more than happy to stay at home with his jars of piss.
Two gottelz ov geer preez an' a packey ov crippz
Off topic:
Things are turning nasty in Sudan. What's Gordo/Mr Bean going to do? Or is it going to be 'Gordon of Khartoum' all over again?
Is a Britsh life not worth saving from the hands of fanatical hordes?
you pretend your shy and i will pretend i read the electoral rules
ugly cunt would have been better off spending 600k on plastic surgery
I'm Fucked, You're Fucked, We're All Fucked......ah well lets enjoy what we've got whilst we can.
More Poo?, Sorry Gordon, more fizz?
WATT: So tell me, what were your names again?
No. I'm Ant. You're Dec!
Abrahams: "I have a hunch, you're going to be a pain in the neck in the future."
Little speccy guy growing out of Abrahams neck: "I'm just a little speccy guy growing out of your neck!"
Abrahams: "Not you, you fool - the corrupt twat with the dodgy bow tie."
Can't anybody in the Labour movement dress properly?...what a right pair of clip-on ties
Abrahams was as relived as Watt that he had extracted himself from DA's derrier in time for the party
Is that Sir John Bourn growing out of my neck?
[Abrahams] 'Can I get you a drink old bean ?'
[Watt] 'Some champers would be lovely..'
[Abrahams] 'Pop over to that lady called Kidd, give her this twenny, and tell her to sort it out with the barman...'
Ant:
What ya poot in me drink ya coont?
Dec:
I doon't knoow, man, boot it's canny.
You should see yoor face.
exhibit 1a mlord
says it all really.
Ant always got the best lines and so therefore he aged better than Dec - but "I'm a celebrity" still gets commissioned and is now sponsored by the Labour Party
HH
"Can't anybody in the Labour movement dress properly?...what a right pair of clip-on ties"
If you think that's bad, wait til you see Wendy Alexander's writing paper in the next thread.
Little Boy, aka Watt: "Will you come and visit me when I'm doing porridge Uncle David?"
Abrahams: "Not sure about coming, but I'll certainly have a stiffy thinking about you locked up with all those brutes, young Peter."
Brown is the new Black
With Friends Like This.
ab so mr watts do you want the cash or not ?
wat : well err how can i put this we dont need the press to connect up anything so anynonymous or via third party would be best.
ab well ok i hope its all legal to do it that way , you can come and cut the ribbon when the business park opens if you like, much obliged to you helping your friends .
wat: ssshhh we just dont want it known that we will do anything for money , we have some morals you know.
ab aww fuck it how much do you want for the morals then!! name your price.
Do I know you?
No!
Do I know you?
No!
We must be two other people then!
DA "Hi, I'm Northern Rock and I wish to make a deposit"
PW "Get your coat, you've scored!"
One Sunday morn young Lambton
Went a-fishin' in the Wear;
An' catched a fish upon his huek,
He thowt leuk't varry queer,
But whatt'n a kind a fish it was
Young Lambton couldn't tell.
He couldn't be boshed for to carry it hyem,
So he hoyed it in a well.
Chorus:
Whisht! lads, haad yor gobs,
Aa'll tell yer aall and aaful story,
Whisht! lads, haad yor gobs,
An' Aal tell yer 'bout the woorm.
Noo Lambton felt inclined to gan
For ta fight in foreign wars.
So he joined a troop o' Knights that cared
For neither wounds nor scars,
An' off he went to Palestine
Where queer things him befel,
An' varry seun forgot aboot
The funny worm i' the well.
Chorus
But the woorm it growed an' growed an' growed,
An' growed an aaful size;
He'd geet big heed, a geet big gob,
An' geet big goggley eyes.
An' when at neets he craaled aboot
For ta' pick up bits o'news,
If he felt thoorsty upon the road,
He milked a dozen coos.
http://www.southshields-sanddancers.co.uk/lampton_worm.htm
PS Guido you still owe me a drink for pointing out how unlucky Gordon is for the national team.
Fuck, he looks like a cancer patient. Probably like the one out of SAW III
DA "I say, I think there is something wrong with your dickie"
PW "No, I'm completely kosher"
Watt - "You are going to put Purnell's face in with photoshop latter right ?"
Abrahams: "You prick! You've dropped us and others, in it."
Watt: "Complete prick if you please."
ABE: Peter, when you told Mr Brown that the money was really from me, what did he say?
PETE: [Party political comment]
'You ain't seen me.Right!'
DA "This reminds me of my graduation with Mossad. I must take you to see my volcano hideout one day"
PW "Any time you please Mr Ruddick"
DA "I'm nursing a red one here"
PW "Don't worry, I can take care of that as well"
Boo Hiss its Photoshopped!
the guy on the right is ok though
From stage right (out of shot):
GORDON BROWN (for it is he): Don't you dare point that thing at me Harriet! Don't. You. Dare. Just Peter and the Mossad boy I've "never met", ha ha ha. Don't tell the Torygraph I said that, they'd probably print it!!
<<<
Note to sock puppets: go on sign your name on something you cowardly crew.
David. Did it hurt when you had that operation, you know the one down below?
No Peter, I had an intermediary have it for me.
Watt: "So, did your mother make you gay?"
Abrahams: "No. I saw a photo of Melanie Phillips."
DA "I'm developing an erection in the north east"
PW "Flattery will get you everywhere!"
I'm smiling like this because David is just taking a cheque out of my bottom.
Next election slogan perhaps? :
Nulabour new cheques with no checks!
Sense some nasty anti semitism here. Very un Tory. Very lame. Guido, maybe some action?
Softly, Softly, Catchee Monkey
We have to have proper cheques and bank balances.
Watt:
"Do you know what happened to Mordechai Vanunu?"
Abrahams:
"You hum it my boy, I'll play it!"
Gordon Brown (Prime Minister):
Just say Untermensch and come a bit closer together - i want to get you both nicely in the frame.
DA "I say, Peter, jdging by the level in your glass we are listing to starboard. Do you think we hit an iceberg?"
PW "Fear not, Captain Broon says we are unsinkable"
Gordon was always careful never to meet Mr Abraham in public without first donning his Peter Watt mask.
You can always tell a fucking socialist peasant, the wankers always buy stick on ties
1 bottle of Woolworth's Champagne: £5
Rental of Moss Bros dinner jacket and clip-on bow tie: £70
Taxi to bring David Abrahams to Smith Square reception from Heathrow: £40
Return on £115 investment: £650,000
For some things in life there's Mastercard, for the rest there's Labour Graft.
DA "Here's to another five years"
PW "You don't think I will get that long a sentence, do you?"
Gordon used to be so good with Brownies....
DA "My father was the top man in Newcastle"
PW "So it was he who had the O level?"
PW "Would you like to join me for a game of blackjack?"
DA "My name is not Jack, and I prefer Brown"
Abrahams: "When I said I'd like to fuck Gordon.......
PA "So you are in the building trade, are you good with your hands?"
DA "Well, I lob them the odd cheque now and then"
The discs are in your right pocket Mr A.
DA "I'm a fan of musical theatre"
PW "Lloyd-Webber and Rice"
DA "No, I'll settle for a donor kebab instead"
DA "I'm backing Hilary Benn"
PW "But we have other candidates"
DA "And I have other donors"
DA "I've met Gordon more times than I've had porridge for breakfast"
PW "he must have been in a bad mood that morning!"
Sleazy Grim
Ant & Dec?
Why does Abraham look as if he's been embalmed?
Hamish McGlobbie
Watt:
"The North East will be a region where present and future generations have a high quality of life. It will be a vibrant, self reliant, ambitious and outward looking region featuring a dynamic economy, a healthy environment and a distinctive culture. Everyone will have the opportunity to realise their full potential."
Abrahams:
"Boy, you took the words right out of my mouth"
BBC unveil the new cast for Porridge
Would you accept the gift of a used car from either of these slimy cunts?
The one about "Fuck, he looks like a cancer patient" has me crying still, ten minutes later. See what ten years of NewLabour has done to ordinary people; we are now as sick as they are.
'These remote control buttplug vibrators are as good as I told you they were Watt, what?!'
Have to say that that picture looks rather like a bad Photoshop job. Abraham's head just does not fit quite right on the body (unless he really is a Clive Anderson 'no neck' type). Compare the bleaching off Watt's forehead against that of Abrahams' to see what I mean.
Is Watt so bloody desperate that he needs to make up pictures of celbrity donors he has had drinks with?
PW "I've stuck my neck out over your donations"
DA "Just be thankful that you've still got one"
I bet those bow ties rotate.
Yay (wriggling) - be careful where you are putting that bung
Amazing what you can do with a smile, a cheap bow tie and box of Roses.
Ant and Dec return from the jungle looking worse for wear.
GM food have a lot to answer for - Mr A has now got two heads. Is he Siamese?
Its not just any donation, its a Labour Party proxy donation...
DA: "My mother made me a homesexual"
PW: "If I gave her the wool do you think she could knit me one and all?"
Get it right, "I'm Ant and this is Dec"
regards
TrevorH
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