Stormin Rennie is Ready!
Lord Rennard has just emailed Guido:
I am writing you this email from our newly created "election war-room" in Cowley Street. We have just had back-to-back meetings of our Shadow Cabinet and Federal Policy Committee to put the finishing touches to our general election manifesto.Odd...
Of course, I can't tell you the details just yet. [TOP SECRET DOUBLE HUSH HUSH] But it will be a very strong document setting our distinctive values with a strong emphasis on the environment.
Throughout this week the General Election Management Team has been planning things like our press conferences and Ming's extensive tour across the country. [CALL HELP THE AGED]
The reports from constituencies this weekend are very good. We have had thousands of party members knocking on doors and making telephone calls as part of "community canvass week" Ming himself was out canvassing earlier this week in Scotland.
Whether Gordon Brown calls the election next week, the following week, or at any time in future - we will be ready ! [LIKE THE BOY SCOUTS]
With best wishes
Chris Rennard
Chief Executive, Liberal Democrats
30 comments:
Go back to your constituencies and prepare your P45s
Don't you feel flattered?
ooohhh rennie
how will the cafe cope with out you now you ave this new job , beating the germans (and there allies) , all we can say rennie is that we of the freedom lovging people of britain yearn for our free country back again.Give heir pick and flick brown his notice.
best whishes evette XXXX
...seeing as i'm AAA @ pbc, i'll venture a nudge that it's all going to crack off right soon. peason is currently leering out of b&b window trying to see who go into who's hotel ect., ect,...but he complane that glare of street lites obscure his view, and anewa , pater say that 'what goes around comes around, you mark my words'...chizz, chizz
great another guido fawkes rumour.
election in 3 yrs then.
BREAKING NEWS: No election in 2007
looks like Gutless Gordon's bottled it again!
Has Brown shit out?
What a wanker.
right all you lib dem chaps and chapesses this is our top secret plan, all very hush hush you know.
firstly we shall start taking all the labour votes that now feel that new labour has become the gutless bunch of plagarists and liars.
we shall then re brand ming as the jogger sprinter eco warrior , that wants to save the planet (were already developing the standard issue sandles and beards)
but we expect the reds to signal they need our help , but i think we wait for there surrender first.
as for johhny blue shirts we will ambush them with a series of complex audits and meaningless equality beauracarcy to cause confusion before blindfolding them and dumping them in the EU parlimet at brussels .
simple really
the partys over
Stormin Rennard? (not Rennie Guido!)
More like Comical Chris...
Rennard announces the location of emergency supply dumps of Ming's incontinence pants for the coming campaign.
He didn't email you. You're signed up to the Lib Dems email newsletter for when you need filler (which is more and more frequently these days).
So just 2 years since the last general election we're all kept waiting on tenterhooks while a deranged control freak analyses every poll and feverishly awaits the public reaction to Cameron's big speech before he decides whether it's to his advatage or not to call an election this year.
Pathetic. I doubt even Blair would have been this awful.
That Board he's pointing at shows a big pincer movement on the yellows by the combined red and blue forces.....
For gods sake, who does he think he is kidding? The Lib Dems will get murdered at the next General Election unless they get a new leader asap.
He thinks his boyfriend likes him in uniform. Fucking shirt lifter.
Are you sure this was genuine? I mean, there would be no doubt, in an utter and complete certain type of way, that such a letter from them to you would result in a piss-take. Why set themselves up for one?
Where I live the only material coming through the door is for the Conservative Candidate who's been campaigning and issuing monthly newletters; getting involved in local campaigns for saving the local Marternity Unit and Rail links for the last 12 months. Their profile is high in the local press - no pictiures of either existing MP or the replacement or any Lib Dems The sitting Labour MP is retiring at the next election, I haven't a clue who's his replacement or who the LibDem candidate is and bearing in mind this is one of the key marginals that the Conservatives need to win it looks as if they are on track to do it if the other parties are so arsed that they can't even appear to be bothered much.
And people still think Gordon's going to walk the election ?
Who let you in to take the pic?
The fightback has begun.....
It's been a great start to their conference by the Tories, by Cameron, Hague, and even lesser known shadow cabinet members like Andrew Mitchell.
Hague excoriated Brown's failings and dishonesty in his speech today and there's much more to come over the next three days I think.
Watch Brown's temporary lead in the polls retreat as each day passes. Wil the coward still want a 2007 election then?
Cameron and Osborne may be a bit on the posh side but they come across as fairly normal. straightforward people compared to the weird, nose picking nail chewing gurning freak Brown and his band of talentless sycophants like those two oddballs The Miliband brothers (Mike and Bernie Winters anyone?) and specially that freaky combo Ed "blinky" Balls and Yvette "android" Cooper.
As for Ruth Kelly and Alistair Darling, they're barely human.
This "....back-to-back meetings...." business; are things really so bad among the minority of heterosexual mould-breakers that they must shuffle around, roped to-gether, back to back, for fear of an opportunistic penetration by Mrs Simone Hughes or Brother Oaten of the LibDem Outreach to RentBoys Mission. I think we should be told
12:29 AM
don't beat yourself up too much about it Gordo
just send GF PsychoTherapeutic Consultants Plc the usual £250 for providing a user-friendly cyberplatform on which to give yourself a public blogging
bbc 12:16 AM
So what! If Brown bends the economic truth any further there's going to be a snap general election anyway!
Is that shit eating turd Oaten still around? Any normal person would have died of shame by now.
6.55pm.....or food poisoning.
"tenterhools," "copraphilia," "excoriated," "cunts," "shit-eating turd"; such lovely words, elemental; is poetry, no?
In my country not have such literature; England very great place. Thanks to Lord Guido is renaissance in descriptive political writings.
Halle-fucking-lujah. God save fucking queen, yes?
Stan
Keep up the good work but, if you are going to pretend to be Polish, at least spell your name with a w at the end.
Um, no sign of LibDems or Labour work in my constituency since the GE, when seat was captured by Conservatives. Despite the fact that neither LibDems nor Labour have even got their candidates in place, the Sunday Telegraph insist that our seat is a major election battlefield.
Let me state right now- I'm sick and bloody tired of bloody Liberal Democrats giving us poofs ( sorry homosexuals) a bad name! Christ, it's bad enough Mandelson's one! And Chris Bryant!!! Chris Rennard is as overrated as she is overweight! With all these Libbies 'out and about' it's enough to make you positively embarrased about being partial to Dorothy (but not in that way)!
what a pudding.
Good job he has a fine team working under him.
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