Never Work With Guido, Children or Animals
In a rare and uncharacteristic act of selfless public service, Guido spoke at an event for a few hundred sixth formers today (the honarium was a decent bottle of Marguax). He advised the politically minded students that they would be better off not going into politics if they wanted to make the world a better place.Afterwards one of the organisers thanked me - "Yeah, thanks for that, I'm sure all the teachers who brought sudents along were overjoyed when you recommended that the world would be better off if they became honest drug dealers and arms traders rather than politicians." Glad to be of service.
50 comments:
Re the Margaux, is this actually the finest Bordeaux chateaux?
I rarely stretch beyond £3.99 wine from Tesco myself.
But I wouldn't mind sampling some of this stuff, perhaps a bottle at Christmas.
What's a good vintage?
A 1982 appears to cost £655, apparently a very fine vintage. Would a 1981, at £154/bottle (cheaper in fact than the 2004 vintage, which I assume is not yet ready), be worth drinking?
I love you. Don't tell Mrs Fawkes.
You'd never appreciate a decent bottle of Margaux, so don't waste your money, stick with the 3.99 petrol you are used to and then crawl back into the hole whence you came
And the difference between an arms trader and an MP is what exactly?
"And the difference between an arms trader and an MP is what exactly?"
An arms trader sells deadly weapons openly for money.
An MP votes to buy and use them or allows their export and then complains about the state of the world.
An honest drugs dealer is called a chemist. An arms trader operates at the the instruction of politicians (well the licensed ones anyway). What sort of "organiser" was this?
And if you were being selfless, you would have given the Margaux to the first down & out you met.
Did you abandon the limerick comp?
what surpises me is the number of medical casulaties that being a politician creates, drunks wife beaters and cheaters , and rabid gayism.
curious place the house of commons when you think about it. but then again so are a few other towns in the uk.
thanks
pig farmer
"honest drug dealers and arms traders"
Oh so not like the ones in Parliament then. :-)
Are you available for children's parties ?
Come near my kids and I'll fucking kill you.
Wouldn't want him near school playground.
Do you know what? I would be quite concerned if I saw him hanging around outside a playground.
Our legal advice is that Guido Fawkes is not a paedophile.
Yeah, yeah. Whilst you were lecturing The Englishman's son at the ASI, The Englishman and I were actually enjoying fine English Bacchus wine at Rules.
I think we got the better deal...
DK
I would lecture on the theme of power if given a chance.
Honarium? Marguax?
Sounds like you've been tucking i to the sauce already, Guido. It is only Thursday, you know.
wine snob: how much training did it take you to cultivate your levels of wine snobbery?
I confess to being a bit of a beer snob, but you can do that for under £2 for a small bottle.
I am not really much of a wine drinker anyway, just curious as to the delights of bottles of wine that cost hundreds of pounds even when one or two year old. This surely must be a con. The Argies or the Kiwis or some such must be capable of following the same method and producing something just as good at a fifth of the price. Although I guess there's never been a decent lager produced in this country, so maybe it's really true that the conditions in the top vineyards in Bordeaux cannot possibly be replicated elsewhere. I do find it hard to believe that a bad year with poor weather (which still costs over a hundred quid a bottle) can beat everythin produced everywhere else in the world.
"I would lecture on the theme of power if given a chance."
That's about as near as you'll ever get you tit
"(the honarium was a decent bottle of Marguax)"
Whatever you do, don't open the bottle. If it's spelled that way it must be the Chinese stuff. Drink that and you'll see nothing but green for a week. You'd be much better off with the Bulgarian anti-freeze.
Next time ask for King Victoria finest Scotch Whisko.
Our politicians are drug dealers. Why else would British troops be protecting opium crops in Afghanistan?
revolution happening in Burma (an ex-British colony) right now.
WHERE IS GORDON? looks like he's done a macavity the cat yet again.
"Our politicians are drug dealers. Why else would British troops be protecting opium crops in Afghanistan?"
did you see newsnight last night? British troops in a field of cannibis. Soldiers didnt bother with it as it would upset the locals. Fair enough...thats just being realistic. why piss off poor Afghans?
Did they all shout
"YOU FAT BASTARD" during the talk?
Christ
Fawkes allowed to talk to children.
part of me thinks this is a good thing and another part thinks, "would I want this sinister Irish alcoholic anywhere near my DNA"?
let me guess it was girls sixth form and you took a case of alco pops and amyl nitrate?
Boooooooring!!
Let's have another Gordon Brown limerick thread.
I'll start:
Gay Gordo wasn't feeling so happy,
The economy was awfully crappy,
"If house prices crash,
They'll give me the lash",
And then he shit bricks in his nappy.
He was rather interesting actually...
Who was, actually?
anonymous.
That's why you are drinking lager. You don't need to spend hundreds, a decent bottle of Margaux bought in France costs about the same price as 5 pts that yellow stuff that looks remarkably like urea, and is infinitely more satisfying, and doesnt give one a ghastly chemical infused headache
actually none of the beers I drink look like urea. I would not dream of drinking mass-market swill. Here's a nice beer, 8% alcohol, and full of complex flavours http://beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/202/656/?sort=high&start=0
Margaux I took to mean Chateau Margaux, which does indeed cost hundreds. I guess something from the same area is much cheaper.
"would I want this sinister Irish alcoholic anywhere near my DNA"?
after watching that newsnight interview i came to conclusion that guido fawkes is as Irish as i am from Nigeria.
and i am from Ireland. with an irish accent and an irish name.
At Bournemouth today new a eco town eco house was unveiled, John Prescott went inside, to practice masturbating, causing major subsidence, because he is a fat bastard.
See the eco house here
At the rate gordo and darling are fucking the economy up you should have taught them form filling at the dhss or emigration office.
Don't know what the teacher is that worried about. Kids never do what you tell them, and you have probably reduced the street cred of being a drug dealer by 90%..
On a more worrying note, you've probably sown the seed of the next generation of scheming, mendacious Nulabour wankers...
John Trenchard said...
and i am from Ireland. with an irish accent and an irish name.
Now so, the Trenchards, weren't they well known collaborators? Feckin traitors.
Well it's true. If you get mixed up in politics early you end up a worthless career politician with no experience of anything. Nothing wrong with reading the papers, and enough books to avoid voting for socialists, but otherwise...
The election that never was...
For all his teasing, attention seeking, and mind games Brown will NOT be calling an election in 2007.
The reason being that he is terrified of losing, but the aspect that terrifies him most is the prospect that he would end up with no overall majority and would have to form a coalition with the shit-stirrers and professional mischief makers of the Lib Dems. The mere thought of it gives him the night terrors and will prevent him going to the country.
Furthermore:
2008 no election
2009 no election
2010 err.....
Remember, you heard it here first.
What was the name of the school, I might pop a copy of this in the post to them.
HITCH?! Is that you! Where the F***'s your blog? Get back there, you lazy bastard. And don't tell me you're out getting a life because I won't believe you and neither will your other reader. Tuscan Tony - are you there? Got anything you can blackmail the bugger with?
Extreme right students tend to grown up and acquire some critical faculties, unlike extreme left students who merely grow older - and end up on the Labour front bench.
i hope when you visited the kids guido you taught them the firework code , now that nu labours firework display is over (not many ooohhs and aaaahhs) i thought they would light the really big firework of the EU referndum , but they let the sun newspaper do that.
says on the firework box the following
the Brown fountain : lots of red fizzes and blue crackles , culminates in alot of choking smoke causing nausea and paralysis
the hilary benn :balanced display of red whooshes and red crackles not very exciting
the harriet harmen plenty of red whooshes , really gets going best one in the box
the john prescot : red angry veseuvios type , belches lots of hot angry lava (over his secratary) , creates lots of smoke , do not try an extinguish with eggs can explode
the hazel blears : very similar to harriet harmen , but more fiery can go off dangerously in any direction , useually in that of house builders money
the jack straw , starts of quietly red then starts fizzing more and more blue , can often though be poorly mixed causing pre ignition of blue befor the red
the david milliband : has really big outer casing but can be held in the hand whilst trying to fend off sun readers to come and have a go is you think your hard enough.
gives a really deep red fizz but is dangerous and bad value for money
thanks
the partys over
Prodicus,
I agree. I've never forgiven the Orange Hain for digging up a cricket pitch in the seventies. Anyone capable of that is capable of raping his own mother.
dear guido
just in case your info sources are struggling.
more stuff on northern rock : re prefernce ahre holders getting 40 milion whilst ordinary share holders get nothing. looks like more trouble in BOE facility
some stuff on chanel 4 despatches re lab mps second accomdation allowances 200k from one couple of lab mps and they only live 10 miles from house.
also some stuff on crimal rehab computer system £5 million unacounted for "dont know where its gone"
thanks
the partys over
Were those sixth formers already in custody, or is this yet to come? Also, you must have one hell of an agent, to get a gig like that. Next thing you know, she'll have you booked to speak at the May Day rally in Havana (bring me a bottle of rum if you go, comrade).
Ted huge, we knew you had a good one in you somewhere - go for a regular gig here, much more prestigous than your previous day job.
You got ripped Guido. My local comp can do you any gear you want, E's are your tipple aren't they? As for arms trading what do you want blades, baseball bats or a reactivated semi-automatic? Your sixth formers cannot be that smart - they need you to tell them what all the kids on my estate have worked out for themselves without the benefit of a private education subsidised by the British taxpayer by means of charitable status. Looks like the oiks are once again way a head of the elite.
Word to Ms Danicki:
please please please don't encourage the smug git.
Unless you are in fact Verity, in which case you are welcome to him.
anon & Prodicus;
Peter Hain is a perfect (to libel a word) example of the very worst in not only Nu-Liebour, but politics in general. Has never had, nor could hold any sort of a paying job, demonstrably vain, double first in mendacity at the College of Eternal Activists, not only not fit for purpose, but any purpose. An unprincipled leech on Britain's good will, who should have gone home to South Africa once his hated whites were overthrown to help his newly empowered black comrades to settle in. But no.. he's over here trying to bring them with him the cunt.
Petty the Irish didn't top him, but they probably knew that he's a worthless prick not worth the price of a good 9mm round.
Brave admission John Trenchard!! Anyone who hasn't read his BBC Bias, should.
mr 45
couldnt have put it better myself
although I would have economised even further my using a hammer
That 9 mili could have been used to put a hole in paper
why waste in on a politician ?
Wheeerrre are you Hitch, I'm tired of Sudoku!
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