Advertise on this site

Friday, August 31, 2007

Splitter! Splits! Hooray!

Political correspondents can breathe a collective sigh of relief. As we exit the substance desert that was the silly season they can now start writing "party split" stories.

Keith Vaz, a former minister for Europe, is calling for a referendum on the European constitution that Jim Murphy, the current minister for Europe says isn't a constitution, just a bit of administrative tidying up. The FCO traditionally lies for its country, Murphy is lying for a foreign superstate. Blunkett says a referendum was promised and Miliband says Labour is not split. Super...

Gummer is getting a kicking from John Redwood saying basically that the mad burger-eater will damage the economy with his Green taxes and plans for increasing airport congestion. Cameroonie sources are briefing that they won't pay much attention to the loopier ideas from Zac and Gummer. Fantastic...

So we have splits, splitters and lots of easy copy ahead of the party conferences. Cynics among you might wonder if the splits haven't just been teased out by the media to manufacture a storyline, the Sun (Vaz article) and GMTV (Redwood interview) can take the credit for getting it going. The show must go on...

18 comments:

Zzzzz said...

LibDems can't even organise a split story. Tsk tsk..

nigel235 said...

Question one in the caption round. Which one of these has a mouthful of cherries?

Anonymous said...

Jim Murphy's a smug twat, a lifelong politico with not a day's experience of a real job.

He's a new entrant into my personal collection of odious MPs. Already in the club are Peter Hain, John Prescott, Edward Leigh, Liam Fox, Geoff Hoon, Dennis MacShane, Ben Bradsaw, with ex MP Paul Boateng as a honorary member.

Splashitallover said...

cameron appointed two people with diametrically opposed views to do the quality of life and economic competitiveness policy reviews. if that isn't a split i dont know what is.

or perhaps its a postmodern attempt to show how hard it is to reconcile competitiveness with quality of life, and we should all applaud dave's efforts. in fact, the whole tory party seems to make more sense if regarded as a piece of performance art - boris for london, dagenham dave cameron full stop, lansley's slapstick nhs campaign...

Anonymous said...

A genuine disagreement on one area of policy is hardly a "split". If you want perfectly homogenous political parties fine, go and live in a one-party dictatorship. It's healthy for our democracy that the main parties carry within them different shades of opinion. It's a real shame that even you, in the "non-traditional media" have to run with this hyperbolic language.

Madasafish said...

What a load of bollocks. Who wants every MP and supporter toing the party line?

If you want that, Stalin would be a good mentor.

The rest of us prefer debate.

Splashitallover said...

no, anonymous, it is a split, but i didnt say splits were a bad thing. how about "divergence", if we're dancing on the head of a pin? it's the job of journalists to tease out splits, in order to reveal the debates and motivations which lie beneath the patina of "policy" and spin which covers political life.

Anonymous said...

Let's imagine for a moment that Yo! Dave ‘Timmy’ Cameron cocks up the next election.

Where do we go then?

Mmmm......

On one side we’d have our esteemed membership - ultra right wing, geriatric, raising fuck all and out of breathe 5 leaflets in!

Would the monkey who empowered this lot with the right to choose our leader please go and stand in the corner and repeat quietly 1000 times whilst hitting his head against the wall ‘I must not talk to the membership, I must not talk to the membership’.

Then we’d have those down to earth, gritty men of the people from Eton standing around scratching their heads wondering whether a career in wall paper (recycled of course) was the better option after all.

Thank god none of them had to sit the 11+ otherwise we might have missed out on their strategic brilliance – err your constituency is under water and the kids are shooting each other – Tarquin darling lets piss off to Bongo Bongo to milk some fucking goats!

Would there be any sensible option other than to start again from scratch?

What exactly would we have left to loose at that point?

Miss E.Critchley, Little Hampton.

Anonymous said...

whereas you'll never do this?

Anonymous said...

Ah, the EU constitution issue. That's three former ministers, Vaz, Blunkett and Brown, anything up to 120 Labour MPs, plus the unions coming out against a PM who is already looking more dictatorial than Blair.

A change in style? Nah, more of the same methinks. Brown trusts the public even less than he trusts the Labour party...

Newmania said...

I am a Conservative Party member and am edgey and with it not to say groovy ( far more so than uber nerd Guidot) and I support David Cameron .

I thought the whole Gramar school split was an invention I ghad a great debate on my blog but there wasno suggestion of anyone being angry its just a matter of differing views.

I like this post Fawkes the Conservative party have suffered badly form the invention of splits but nothing like as badly as they did form the incredibly biassed reporting a f a typo on the list of NHS hospitals in danger
WHICH THEY ARE

This fact was ignored. Look out for quiet Broon climb downs to the Unions now he has done the usual public posturing justas he ahs done withbthe academies..( now not academies)

bt said...

What Vaz is suggesting isn't a straight-forward referendum on the 'treaty', it's much wider, putting a question that suggests if we vote 'No' then it's a vote for leaving the EU.

Slimy git figures he can win on that basis.

Are you sure about that, Keith?
And when are we going to see your old bank statements? We haven't forgotten, you know.

judith said...

Newmania said...

I am a Conservative Party member and am edgey and with it not to say groovy

Your the most boring blogger in the history of boring blogging.We don't want to read your pathetic ramblings,go away please.Apply for a job with your local rag,see what they think of your inept rubbish.

comfy labour party socks said...

Anonymous said...On one side we’d have our esteemed membership - ultra right wing, geriatric, raising fuck all and out of breathe 5 leaflets in!

Don't forget the plonkers who post here.

Splittist Penfold - Twickenham Liberation Front(Provisional) said...

Oh for an axe, very sharp, a heavy attitude and anger, and lets see if we can emulate the Samurai and split all the bastards from crown to crotch.

judith said...

Splittist Penfold - Twickenham Liberation Front(Provisional) said...

Oh for an axe, very sharp, a heavy attitude and anger, and lets see if we can emulate the Samurai and split all the bastards from crown to crotch.

Just to need to check this thread again.

Mountjoy said...

You forgot the UKIP over whether or not Nigel Farage wears a wig :-)

Anonymous said...

Brown reminds me of a certain Little Britain sketch.

Public: Can we have a referendum?
Gordon: Computer says no.

Public: Can we have our pensions back?
Gordon: Computer says no.

Public: Can we withdraw from Iraq?
Gordon: Computer says no.

Public: Can we fix the West Lothian question?
Gordon: Computer says no.

Public: Can we ditch road charging?
Gordon: Computer says no.

Public: Can we forget about the ID card scheme?
Gordon: Computer says no.

Labour party: Can we have a leadership election?
Gordon: Computer says no.


Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Categories
Archives
Guido Reads