Friday Caption Contest (Isaby Edition)
Tory Candidate Arrested Over Hate Campaign - Watford Observer
PM Under Fire for Not Answering Sith Questions - FT
Labour Desperate to Reschedule £16m Debts - Indy
Darling: "We're Doomed" - Times
Sean Tevis for State Rep., the Internet Candidate via Tom Steinberg
Scrounging Tory MP Complains -
Brown' s Undeclared "Donation in Kind" - COP Blog
Think-Tank Roundup - Cassilis
108 comments:
This is the traditional way to light them.
Too esoteric for me, I'm afraid. Who's the fat cunt on the cannon? Is it Guido?
Gordon's first decree bans use of loose cannons.
Fuck the french, they dont like it up 'em
Cher comeback tour gains critical acclaim.
I thought Cameron told the Tories to "hug a hoody" not "fuck a connon"!!!!!
Well he does keep changing his mind.
"Mine's bigger than Prescott's"
Ann Widdecombe MP gets stuck in cannon, lover tells press "the sex has improved, now I don't have to look at her".
21st century ethical/biodegradable csrbon-footprint friendly, earth kind, disabled rights defence option: blind fat cunt shits in cannon.
Why is there a panty-liner floating in the clouds due west of that blind fat cunt? Is this subliminal advertising, you twats?
Does my bomb look big in this?
Falmouth lad says he has a bigger one than youse londoner poofs
It's just a blind fat twat sat on a cannon. What's the point in continuing? I'll have the t-shirt, please. Do you XXXLarge?
The Eastbourne STD Clinic is noted for its adherence to traditional methods. . . . . . . Now, he's a fat cunt on a cannon. T shirt please.
Wait 'til you see it shoot...
George Street wins t-shirt at last. Boscombe residents celebrate in the traditional way.
Hello, Katy Tatylor-Richards!
Christopher Biggins needed considerable direction in the Mevagissey production of his self-penned epic, 'The Aftermath of the Indian Mutiny'.
I'm a fat ugly twat with a very small penis and no fucking sense of humour..
I've got to go and teach year 7 in 5 minutes. Can I have a fucking t-shirt, or not?
Latest fad, new penis stretcher being tested by some daft git.
Woman in black - "I can't breathe"
Isaby "Nice tits"
[gorgon street] "I've got to go and teach year 7 in 5 minutes."
Truly our youth are up shit creek without a paddle..
Cher's liposuction goes awry after the anaesthetist sets the hoover to 'blow' not 'suck'...
'Welcome to the new game show from the BBC..with a familiar theme..
[jingle] Telegraph Twat, Telegraph Twat.
Telegraph Twat, Telegraph Twat..
Wankety Wank, Wankety Wank,
Come on, er, Telegraph Twat, Telegraph Twat..
Wankety Wank..uh huh.
Wankety Wank...
Intriguing yellow object spotted in annoymous bay.
Brown gets live 21 cannon salute as he arrives in Falmouth on holiday from his coronation in London.
[fatboy slim] 'Come on, folks, I want to get in the Guinness book of Records for the Lowest Standard Caption Contest in the history of the world, but I can't do it without YOUR help..! Now, can you scrape the barrel to the bottomest level you have ever achieved in your entire life ? Let me hear you say, 'Yeah' !
My record attempt depends on it..'
John Prescott belatedly tries to put a stop to those 'cocktail sausage' micro-penis rumours...
Loony suggests that this cannon was used to seed rain clouds that flooded Sheffield and surrounds
The St.Nazair 'Band Of Brothers' who heroically destroyed half the German Navy belatedly get a statue to fully commemorate their fine achievement..
Jeremy Clarkson finally admits defeat in the Worst Dressed Englishman competition...
I do impressions - in this case, a fat bloke straddling a cannon.
Guido finally able to neutralise the competition from Iain Dale..
'Ready, Aim, Fire !"
Scouser says he didnt remove wheels from cannon ,but he did see a manc measure up cannon to see if it would fit in his car.
Post office find new way to deliver mail when postmen go on strike.
This seems to be at Pendennis Castle in Cornwall, looking across the Carrick Roads toward St Mawes Catle and further on into England. As Gordon Brown has never ever been to Cornwall is this the reason why? He's terrified of Celts who don't eat porridge?
fat bloke who hasnt had sex in months due to wifes pregnancy prepares to aim his mighty weapon at the french
Latest MOD gun being readied for use in Iraq.
"But the instructions said, prior to charging clear the blowhole with a prick!"
"No you fool that should read pricker!"
"So what happens next?"
"Looks like you are about to go off with a bang!"
"Ooooh that'll be nice I like that sort of thing."
I've got me winkle stuck in the fuse-hole .....could someone call the fire brigade.
Here I sit, broken hearted,
Charged my cannon (chippolata)
And only farted!
Laws of equal but opposite reaction don't work as big guy is sitting on cannon and screws law up.
Fat boy: "Gordon Brown wouldn't let me have a ride on his rocking horse so I'm having a go on this cannon instead"
Isaby: "This beats embezelling Debating Society funds!"
Must go find me some Plymouth Hoe
Arsenal fan wonders whether cannon will reach all the way to Barcelona.
"And when I got there, the last rocking horse had just been sold to a one-eyed Scotsman"
Wishful thinking?
I've just shown this to Year Seven on our £14,000 whiteboard system. Darren expressed the feelings of the group as a whole when he pointed out it was a 'fat bastard on a cannon'. Does he win a t-shirt? The school's in a deprived area....go on.....
Prescott Junior proves to the world that being a sexual deviant, not to mention a useless cunt, runs in the Prescott family, by getting his chipolata wedged in Big Bertha.
George - ask Darren what he would feel like in Iasby's position. Ask him to describe his emotions.
"The state represses and the law cheats,
The taxes bleed the unfortunate
No responsibility is imposed on the rich
The rights of the poor is a hollow phrase
Enough of languishing in custody,
Equality needs other laws!
No rights without duty, it says,
Equally, no duties without rights."
Verse 3 Internationale
Why NuLab went wrong - they failed to realise these are things to be deplored, not aspired to!
Young Master Prescott flops out his syphilis coated knob, flops it on a handy wooden box and threatens to pollute the River Humber with his Harry Monk, unless his incompetent, corrupt, twat of a father is fast tracked into the House (sorry, 'ouse) of Lords, soonest.
Sir if you fire that gun on July 1st ,I will have to fine you for smoking.
Local Falmouth lad in castle siege says if those rich London bastards decide to buy another house down here,this is what they'll get instead
Diane Abbott reveals to the press that like Michael Jackson, she too suffers from the skin disease vitiligo, but cannot explain why her knob, or her piles, haven't been affected.
Local lad finds way to split Cornwall from England by firing cannon along dotted boundry line.
Man cheesed of by trip boatman saying he's too heavy for boat decides he will sneak on boat anyway.
New olympic game called catch the cannonball ,first rule states you must catch it as it leaves muzzle.
Spy columnist goes ballistic
Pauline Prescott: "And this is a photo of our John, aged three, such a bonny baby. He wanted to be a soldier you know, but as he got older he realised that took courage, and that the yellow stripe running down his back clashed with DPM."
Is this an old holiday photo of John Prescott before he put on more weight ?
fat scouse rent boy "Im ready for you now Gordon!"
Camera man with dick in a bowl of custard taking picture:
You are a fat Tory cunt fucking a cannon, Dave is fucking the Tory party up....and I'm fucking discustard at the pair of you!
Gordon was only to happy to arrange Tony's "flight" to the Middle East
OR
The cannon was much like the country's economy - it looked good and seemed stable. Sadly, it was only a matter of time before they both went bang.
Bet i can shoot my wad furthest
Massive, sturdy, and fearsome. When you want REAL power between your legs.
Lardarse journo with loins aflame expels balls.
Scientific disaster as Deputy PM cloned
Test to see if Labour can put more spin on the cannonball as it leaves muzzle
Labour spin found to be greater than spin from cannonball ,scientists not suprised .
Brown say Labour doesn't spin ,but cannonball refutes claim.
Cannonball say I been spinning for 400years or more ,but Labour can still outspin me
"Its much better than using candles, eh?"
First inter-racial penis transplant patient said to be "pleased with the result".
man watches cannonball fired from gun and says lots of spin and bias on cannonball ,AlBeeb and Sky it wasnt them who put spin and bias on the cannonball.
Guido has decided to use gun to get Labour trolls ,other people prefer dos or some attack on ip addresses ,some say hitting Labour blogs with garbage a better idea.
Prescott-lookalike tries Oona for size.
The making of 'Son of a Gun'
Pies chips and mushy peas fired out to boat Prescott is holidaying on ,Prescott says I wus working hard when I wuz in the caribbean.
MOD say Britain's finest gun technology will be made available to the army ,they have sent a team of scuba divers around the country to find some more.
Easy Jet say they are not concerned by rival's attempt to undercut their no frills market.
"Supersize Me" competition winner tries to hide his disappointment when he realises it wasn't his dick but his arse they meant!
Brownenvelope
If you are going to use my name, at least say something worthwhile
Government's obesity target fucked again!
Police say it's still an illegal gun if you hold it in your hand ,man says it's only an extension of my penis as my BMW is in the garage.
Man says he is not son of this gun.
Paris Hilton, as ever, seen to be enjoying time in pokey Says :-
"You call this Pooping or Decking in Englandland?"
Wayne Rooney denies he's a closet Arsenal Fan
"Does my bum look big in this? ",he said...
"your arse would look big from space" said cannon
"And the unworthy fat pieman will be fired,
Followed by the one who bliared,
To be followed by the peverted Cyclops,
Riding in triumph on his rocking arse!"
Nostradamus - The New Quatrains.
in shocking exposee, journalist reveals how UK made secret pre-Iraq War preparations for deterrent against Saddam Hussain WMDs
Conservative activist rehearses send-off for Quentin Davies.
Now show me yours.
Phantom cannon shagger dips his wick.
You can't bring that thing into this 10 pin bowling alley you'll damage the floor.
Dick
BREAKING NEWS - WMD FOUND ON IRAQI COASTLINE.
In other news, WMD redefined to mean Weighty Male Dullard.
(And yes, I know that caption is sooooo 2003)
Man showing he has the balls for a real cannon.
"does my cock look big in this?"
New Home Secretary before sex change operation or was it before.
Jonathan Isaby attends the inauguration of Hazel Blear's new occupation, as a circus midget being fired from a cannon.
Cannon and Balls
Another Conservative candidate caught in cannon.
Pass the swarfega Dave.
Conservative c&%t f*c$s cannon
Exclusive, Dave Cameron's new hobby
Cameron's resignation speech!
Friends say Camerons been troubled for sometime.
Cameron and the shadow Cabinet.
Fat right canonizes Blair
fat white fucks black power
Hello. My name's Tom Watson and i'm creating my version of Cher's video to 'if i could turn back time'! Only my version is not full of seamen. Yet.
Does my dick look big in this?
No dear. Your dick wouldn't look big in anything.
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