Where's Gordon?™
The Trail of his Scottish Campaign from Beginning to End
The author of "Courage : Eight Portraits" is, as predicted, nowhere to be seen today - unlike the last 30 days of campaigning when he was never out of a photo-op, usually well away from hostile voters and in the middle of children. Since the voters have opted for the SNP over Gordon's Scottish Labour, he can hardly claim that the negative election result was down to Blair. He was all over Scotland for the duration of the campaign. So why is he in hiding now? There is talk that he is depressed, that internally he realises he has the loser gene. That is the way it looks today.
Click below to interactively follow Gordon's journey to defeat.
Click on any day to find out what he did, when and where.
Hat-tip : Javelin for "Invisible Gordon"
Click on any day to find out what he did, when and where.
75 comments:
I heard Brown has been outed by Ian Hislop
Tonight, BBC News, ITN, and Channel 4 have all remarked that Brown has been nowhere to be seen all today.
They seek him here,
They seek him there,
They seek that Brown Pimpernel everywhere
Gordon must now know he will never be PM and it must be a pretty hefty blow. I think we can all surely feel some sympathy for someone who has seen a lifelong ambition slip away.
In my view, Blair will announce next week that he is to remain as PM until the next General Election but that he will stand down as Party Leader next week. This wil open the way for a leadership election but not for Gordon to immediately become PM. Even if Gordon won the leadership he would have an election to fight and only a 50:50 chance of winning at best.
The odds on Betfair are shortening for John Reid who is now second favourite in te leadership race. Still leaves plenty of scope for Milliband and others to stand as late challengers or even to plan another leadership election after the next General Election.
What's going on with him? . So much for leading from the front. Is he really this weak and cowardly?
I wonder if Bliar will stay on because Brown has a family problem?
Hmmmm...
I've never known a politician disappear so dramatically, doesn't he realise how obvious his absence is? Isn't anyone able to tell him get off his self-pitying ass ? This is absolutely incredible. Astonishing.
Who'd have thought this mincing,pension stealing,bogey eating,incompetent,dishonest,greasy,one eyed tartan twat would be unpopular,eh?
Broon the nancy boy should put on his nappy and ride off into the distance on his rocking horse!
On tonights have I Got News For You there were plenty of sniggers and knowing looks when one of them talked about "Browns gay lover"
Did I just hear Michael Crick just more or less say on Newsnight that Tony would stay on as PM until the next election and that Charles Clarke wil not run for the leadership.
I apologise if I misheard that but if it is true that means John Reid WILL stand and if Blair stays as PM then Charles Clarke wil be back in The Cabinet and Gordon Brown wil have a very tough fight on his hands. Is Gordon going to be blamed for the losses in Scotland?.
I doubt if he'll do the honourable thing and fall on his sword, so I guess it'll have to be the good old knife in the back. My dad was Scottish, he never told me there was a clan McDisappearingcoward, are you sure he ain't got Italian genes?
Brown blatantly can't hack it.
Newsnight showed film of GB leaving and returning ?home in a gas-guzzler with blacked out windows.
Shame we couldn't see him crying - would have made my holiday weekend.
Despite all the comments about Brown being invisible...can any of you remember when this fucking shower of shite Government ever were anything but invisible? Apart of course from twats like Blears coming on to smile at the camera and spout moronic delusional shite, or Bliar talking to picked audiences and spew out platitudes and lists of fantasist achievements?
They are all invisible apart from spin.
Oh God, Gordon's got a cloak of invisibility! (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/6064620.stm)
Now that this crowd have felt the mood of the local elections and Scotland and Wales elections ,I wonder what nice idea's they have thought up for us scum ,in trying to get their own back on us ,methinks blogs will get the hit as starter.
"Today I am mostly eating bogies."
G Brown
Arsebandido extraordinaire
The most mysterious Gordon.
I'm waiting for his new book to come out: "How to Disappear Completely."
Surely his constant disappearing acts are doing him more harm than good.
baldockbaldrick: 'Surely his constant disappearing acts are doing him more harm than good'; true, but they'll do us more good than harm!
Even the editor of the New Statesman was muttering against the Emperor tonight. Leaving home in a blacked out limousine did nothing to dispel the mutterings about involvement with the dark side...........
Also looks a very cowardly way to behave, which is made worse when you consider the hypocrite wrote a book about figures who had bucket loads of the stuff.
The Scots and the Welsh did not vote conservitive. The north of England also did not,the south of England have returned to the conservitives who they never left,With Gordon brown looking like old Labour,and Tory Blare not there for them they can only turn back to the conservertives .The south of England have done ok under Mr Browns economic engine of growth and higher pay for the middel classes.Why should the working
the loser gene...ha ha ha ha good one Guido
"but if I hear one more BBC voice announcing that the Conservative Party “haven’t got a single seat in Manchester or Liverpool” I shall scream..." Matthew Paris
Labour 27% Tories 40% and yet the BBC tell us once more its not that bad really.
I pay a license fee for this bias reporting and also for people in India to watch Doctor Who for free on the new bbc.co.uk iPlayer.
And I go to prison subsidising this stuff.
Enough is enough.
The "loser gene" made my brekkie coffee taste even sweeter, thank you.
I wonder if its in any way related to that other disorder, the lackofpersonal hy-gene?
It looks and sounds very much like depression.
Sensible advice must be for him to resign.
When Blair said we would have a Scottish PM in a few weeks I think he knew Brown would be resigning and Reid would walk a contest.
Cameron might have his hands full now.
Here's Brown at it again.
He just can't keep his hands to himself.
Alot of ex-colleagues have placed question marks over Gordon's mental stability.
Tony Blair needs to insist Gordon gets his head seen to by a couple of professional shrinks before he is allowed to become PM.
Be a bit worrying if he gets depressed and decides to end it all when he's got his finger on the nuclear button.
I clicked on the "leave the kids alone" link to the BBC and was struck by the phrase about "Gordon Brown...pondering on instability north of the border."
I think the phrase is a rather apt description of Gordon.
Brown's pet monkey, Kevin Maguire in today's Mirror is claiming that the elections were bad for the Tories and that "Cameron is trying to put a rave face on it". Well if gaining almosy 900 seats is bad I don't know what would be good.
Here's a message for you Little Kev:
HADDAWAYANSHITE
Then there's Alistair Darling blatantly lying SIX times on radio 4 today that NuLab and the SNP got an equal number of votes. The NuLab BBC stooge didn't challenge him of course.
Where's Gordon?
Developments over at www.iraqdossier.com guido-still bored?
Gay Gordon is cheering himself up with some bum fun and working out how he can punish ALL those he thinks let him down! BlOGGERS BEWARE!!!!! Tony Bliars stooges beware!!!!! In fact there are lots and lots of people in GGs little black book. I expect he has got cramp in his right arm from all that "taking names for revenge" writing!!!!!
You can almost see him, purple with rage muttering words like "they (GB public) are not worthy of my genius! As he writes his last will & testement in his bunker then shoots himself!!!!!
A helpful Labour MP admitted privately last night that certain Ministers were in tears at the results.
Yummy.
I think the most telling thing of all about Brown is that his own constituency elected an SNP memeber. And he DID spend a lot of time there campaigning for Labour.
I think he's a busted flush.
His pal Alf Young of the Herald says he is taking stock on the Scottish result , at his North Queensferry home.
He will be sharpneing the hatchet for wee Jack's neck, albeit that the negative campaign wisnae Jack,s idea.
"So why is he in hiding now? There is talk that he is depressed, that internally he realises he has the loser gene. That is the way it looks today."
Well, Guido, I am sure this is the way that you and your "posse" would like to see it.
Shotgun @ 10.39 pm:
"I wonder if Bliar will stay on because Brown has a family problem?
Hmmmm..."
In your dreams, you fantasist Welsh tosser and agent astroturfeur . How apt your blog illustration is.
Roll up roll up and see the show.
If "The Greatest Leader of All Time" and the "Spinnerettes", AKA "Hazell Bliars" are singing Songs of Satisfaction only a curmugeon would not want to share their feelings of joy, and join in wishing them more of the same!
Has he re-surfaced yet? What courage! What leadership! What a joke he is. Absolutely pathetic.
Today's Guardian suggests that it was Brown's last minute electioneering north of the border that saved Labour from worse defeat so he is undoubtedly celebrating and basking in plaudits from party members.
I wish the moron would completely disappear. Forever.
Brown will become PM (although there's a wretched Tricky Dicky Nixon depressed darkness about him) - but what will be amazing will be the roar of laughter that greets him on his first Commons appearance.
... and the boy McTernan (who was drafted north to get him out of Downing Street)? Presumably packing a small case for his spell in prison.
Hooray hooray, our prospective new "Greatest Leader of All Time" AKA "The Clunker" is promising to "listen and learn" from their "satisfactory" achievement.
So that's an immediate declaration of a General Election then?
Crick last night on Newsnight said "Where's Gordon?" is what they are asking.
Little wonder Gordo is riding around in Blacked out limousines, he is no longer wanted in Scotland and not welcome in England.
10:06 AM, May 05, 2007
We will have to start using cherie blairs nice laws EU laws then ,of course with 3000 other new laws ,the lawyers could soon find one they could twist ,but then the judiciary don't know their arse from their elbow,the prisons are full ,what me worry.
Well founded rumours in Labour Party circles suggest that Gordon is experiencing a "long night of the soul". He is deeply depressed and veers from morbid self pity to angry vengeaful rants and threats. What he is saying against Salmond and the SNP does not bear repeating.
Even some of his closest allies are said to be close to abandoning him unless he pulls himself together. "Medical assistance" is, apparently, being applied (pills) to try to get him back on his feet before his absence becomes even more obvious.
What is already clearly apparent however, is that Gordon does not have the mental or emotional fibre to lead this country and what a disastrous period his Premiership would likely be for Britain and it's people.
He Has every right to be depressed.
Having taken Charge of the NuLabour Election campaign in Scotland, he has produced Labour's worst result there in Fifty years.
Surely even the most stupid of NuLabour MP's can now see that if Brown achieved a similar result in a General Election, it would be P45 time for them. So who can blame him for keeping a Low profile at the moment.
It remains to be seen if he does the Honourable thing and falls on his sword.
Every one loves a loser - is that correct?
I hope he does not decide to end it all in his darkest hour.
Courage?
Gordon Brown?
Well, at least he has a sense of humour. Either that or he's completely deluded as to his own frailties.
You choose...
This was not how it was meant to be. Or was it?
Blair walks away from the Local Elections smelling of roses, looking chipper and talking about springboards.
While Brown walks the plank, having masterminded Nulabour's defeat in Scotland and sinks into the abyss without a word.
johnny norfolk 1:52pm:
I'm not sure whether any other posters on this blog have mentioned this...
but close friends of Gordon's have assured me that, at difficult times like this, our future leader drinks a magic potion (prepared personally by NuLab chief druidess Margaret Beckett in the socialist sacred inner sanctum - her caravan kitchen). This potent cocktail, whose ingredients include various bodily fluids and secretions drawn during secret ceremonies from other NuLab cabinet members of the highest rank, makes the Chancellor instantly and completely invisible - enabling him to hang around infant schools and children's play areas up and down the country in order that he can satisfy his darkest desires without attracting attention.
This helps Gordon relieve the great stress that political life can exert uopn him.
Gordon's silence is deafening
I mean we are just taking bastards whatever must his supports, the ones who have given their all to Brown's cause think?
He's a self-centred loser isn't he, can you imagine Thatcher ever going missing like this? (what's the James song Say Something?)
Fall on his sword? The only thing Brown would fall on would be his butt plug.
mindless
absolutely, what a way to treat the people who have been campaigning with him. He's a nasty and weak piece of work.
Has Brown gone to hospital?
Is that why they led him away in a lino with darkened screens?
Where is the nearest hospital to Gordon's house?
When Lab's Scottish fortunes were doon,
They called for brave warrior Broon:
"We won't wait a day more
For your great clunking claymore!"
But the bugger had slipped out of toon.
Gordon Brown has been admitted to a private hospital!!!! Suicidal/nervous breakdown etc!!!!
He is finished now whatever happens. So it looks like Tony Bliar will carry on to the next GE!
The EU will most likely take GG on the payroll like Mandelson!!!!
Its where ALL our losers go!!!!
Re Everyone Needs a Hobby -
There's one sure sign that the invisible "Clunker" has passed by.
You'll feel a sharp pain in the arse!
Anon at 6.46:
If I was a betting man, I'd ask to see the colour of your money on that last claim.
The idea that the EU will have anything to do with Brown is utterly laughable. Brown despises the EU's institutions, and they return the compliment.
I can only assume that your laughable "inside information" on Brown in a private hospital is because you are in the next room.
It must be difficult to blog when you are in a straitjacket. How do you manage? If it's voice recognition software you're using, you really need to adjust your settings: only one exclamation mark at the end of a sentence is necessary.
everyman needs a hobby 2:42 PM:
This is totally untrue.
I refute the assertion that these activities constitute any kind of hobby of mine.
These activities all form part of my official duties and are funded by the tax-payer.
The medication which I receive has been approved by NICE and is prescribed to me free on the NHS through a properly licensed mobile surgery which is part of the New Labour "Public Servants Coming Your Way" innitiative (Margaret has just offered to help with the pilot-scheme).
anon 7:04 PM:
correct anon
you also tend to get a shower of sleet whatever the season.
ANNON 7.08
I take your point BUT GG was in Brussels just recently and a lot of those EU commisars hate each other and the EU! Its a gravy train for them nothing more! Oh about those exclamation marks, SORRY its my medication you know, the side effects are marked mental instability and halucinations! Oh and I am in a "private clinic" recovering from slashing my wrists. Thats how I know where GG is! BLACKBERRIES RULE THE WORLD!!!!! (OOOPS SORRY)
Freaky Weathercock,
was that a shower of sleet, or sheet?
Adam Boulton asked Joke McConnell "Where's Gordon?" today on Sky. Francis Maude pointed out that Gordon goes into hiding at the hint of trouble or bad news.
John Reid has resigned in advance and said he's not standing against the poofter.
Haven't seen that useless cunt Bhownaggree for a few days... shouldn't he be here peddling excuses ?
Sorry lads, but gordon is so full of rubber snotballs he's bound to bounce back!
anonymous 8:39 AM:
thank you for your enquiry anonymous,
i was indeed referring to the mysterious occurrence of strangely luke warm showers of sleet whose precipitation would appear to prevail in areas on which Chancellor Brown is bestowing his blessing.
as for 'sheet' - that would depend upon the wind-speed. There have however been recorded several instances of other abnormal meteorological conditions in places which he has graced - on one occasion, in fact, a very reliable person observed that it "rained spats and logs."
The clunker's in the bunker
Clunker,Bunker in a Funker nuff said
where is Gordon, the man who in just a few months is guaranteed to replace Blair as Prime Minister - albeit unelected, even by his own party?
If he has said anything at all over the weekend, it was so sotte voce that no one heard it. Instead we have had the usual anonymous briefing from the Brown camp, and even that has told us nothing new.
In Whitehall they call the Chancellor "Macavity" because, like TS Eliot's cat, whenever there is trouble he disappears. But a prime minister, even an unelected one, has to be able to lead in bad times as well as good. Briefing is not leadership, and when the going gets tough it can look suspiciously like funk. Someone should tell Gordon as much - if they can find him.
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