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Monday, May 28, 2007

Rich & Mark's Monday Morning View

Mail on Sunday : Fixated Threat Assessment Centre hunts mentally unstable potential killers and stalkers with a fixation against public figures.

53 comments:

mitch said...

Ha so thats what happened to snotty.I thought he was under the table again.

Anonymous said...

It's the perfect answer to Where's Gordon?

bing crosby's stunt double said...

Does that include protecting the Hitch from celebrity stalkers?

Anonymous said...

I see the Breast Feeding mothers were down demonstrating in Downing Street last week.

The organisers of the demo were asked to turn their banners to face away from the house which puzzled them. After all, they only said:

"At last let us get the ****in' tits out!"

Anonymous said...

piss weak cartoon. not sure who it's meant to be, the pic and the caption are both unclear and non-specific. i'd rather you had no posts than this sort of thing, guido.

show us the photo mandy said...

How about protecting the rest of us from the Fixated Threat of that deranged bastard Brown to pauperise us all.

Anonymous said...

More evidence of Downing Street control freakery.

On TV last night I was staggered to see who the new media 'spokesman' is for the Madeline McCann family. It is none other than No. 10's master of the black arts, ex-BBC hack Clarence Mitchell.

Mitchell is described on various websites as a "foreign office" adviser to the family, but he's nothing of the sort. He runs the COI's media monitoring operation - Downing Street's 24 hour rapid rebuttal war room.

Obviously No. 10 is worried about the McCann family going 'off message' during the handover to the Rocking Horse era. But is nothing sacred?

Anonymous said...

"not sure who it's meant to be"

Yes, yes Gordon. Get back on the rocking chair, there's a good boy now!

Now this injection isn't going to hurt. . . . . Not like your raid on pensions!

Anonymous said...

Talking about "No. 10's master of the black arts", does anyone know what happened to Ruthie Turner's ex-squeeze (and good Catholic, they all seem to be these days) Matthew Finnegan, last heard of being suspended in the fall-out of a fist-fight between former Liverpool Council leader Mike Storey and departed (and not missed) Chief Executive 'Sir' David Henshaw, presently involved in ****ing up the Child Support Agency? Matt used to work in the Ministry of Propaganda Blairbunker (aka Millbank) prior to being recruited to head-up PR for Liverpool City, where he is presumably freelancing on the side while setting a record for the amount of time you can be suspended on full pay?

Guidos Doppelgaenger said...

Man in the iron mask

McCann mania said...

Are the McCanns some kind of news reserve, bad news needs burying, wheel out another titbit of information extracted from the Portuguese authorities by our hero the gay bogeyeater. (and where was he when she was abducted?)

crackers said...

Yates is fixated with cuffing Ruthie Pole Cashpoint and bio fraudster "dr" chris Evans. Prosecutors have asked him to question some of the witnesses again - may question Blair under caution. Go get em Plod.

Meanwhile Lab's auditors have refused to sign off their accounts.

What as shower.

John Reid said...

I think that looks like me. I hope you are not implying anything?

mitch said...

i never thought toni had a sense of humour or any sense at all(think cherie naked) but this agency is sublime,go after people fixated on something like gay gordon who might harm them, gordo allegedly had a minister by the throat.and they get sectioned-flawed personality anyone.If i was bruun id be a bit miffed.It may as well be called "gordos a nutter dept" Hes still a wank pm though.

Charlotte Corday said...

As though anyone would ever want to harm a politican!

snakes not ladders said...

Does anyone else remember the BBC's Panorama programme during the last few years of John Major's administration? Nearly every week there was an attack on the Government over "Tory sleaze" (real or imagined) "family values", economic competence, Neil Hamilton photographed seig heiling etc

What does Panorama cover these days? Well invariably it's some prurient, infantilised, voyeuristic rubbish rather than serious politics. No attacks on the Government by these boys any more, not while New Labour's in office!

As an example, tonight's edition is about a woman from Manchester who moved to Sicily and married a mafiosi.

I hope Cameron takes note of these New Labour apparatchiks at the BBC and delivers them their P45's after he wins the next election in 2 or 3 years time.

Anonymous said...

They'll just pass through the revolving doors into 'communications' in another party or some corporation like turds floating around in a sewage plant.
According to Greg Dyke's recent programme the BBC has always been quite dodgy, formed to educate public opinion in approved ways, Reith wasn't exactly normal either.

Anonymous said...

"The team's psychiatrists and psychologists then have the power to order treatment - including forcibly detaining suspects in secure psychiatric units."

I presume that their first four questions are:

"Do you think David Cameron has any Policies?"

"Do you think that Tony Blair tells the truth?"

"Do you think that Ming leads the Lib Dems with vitality?"

"Do you think that Gordon Brown's smile is genuine?"

Answering 'yes' to any one of the above suggests that you are likely to be a serious threat to the life health or welfare of either yourself or other persons and leads straight to a straightjacket.

Anonymous said...

anon 3.07, perhaps that guy behind the letter box IS Mattie Finnegan?

Nice Blog shame about the cartoon.. said...

FFS Fawkes get some Cunts who can actually draw for your Monday Cartoon. It's Gordon's left eye that is blind by the way.

grateful gordon's captivating caption contest said...

"no-one will find me here"

Bloggerheadcase said...

Is Guido a public figure?

Doesn't he have a fixated stalker?

Just a thought.

anonemo said...

I won't give a link to this as the pictures could be upsetting. ;-)

Brown Recluse Bite on Ankle
2 Years Old
This young gentleman was bitten by a brown recluse on his ankle. A very common location as they can crawl in socks in the evening. An ulceration began around 48 hours later and progressed for seven days until he presented for treatment. The ulcer measured approximately one inch wide and was 3/4" deep. This is a typical scar that remains. The venom of the recluse is made up of many proteins and enzymes. The mechanism of the venom is not completely understood. We do know there is local tissue death, and subsequent tissue loss. Very rarely renal failure and death do occur which is more common in children. The female brown recluse produces a greater amount of more potent venom than male.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Brown Recluse Bite on Thigh
This middle-aged man was bitten on his left thigh by a brown recluse spider. This is a rather severe reaction to the brown recluse venom. This reaction is classic necrotic arachnidism, or loxoscelism. This reaction is more severe with female brown recluse bites as opposed to male brown recluse bites. And the destruction of tissue is usually worse in fatty areas of the body like: abdomen, buttocks, and thighs.

Anonymous said...

"Brown recluse spiders belong to a group of spiders commonly known as . . . fiddlebacks."

Makes me think of Kevin McGuire spinning about the Brown pensions 'clawback'!

Anonymous said...

bobbins.

another sign that post-L'Affaire Newsnight, Guido has jumped the shark.

rumpo on the rocking horse said...

"Brown Recluse Bite on Thigh"

That's strange, I heard Brown prefers to bite on the cock

rumour mill said...

I heard he likes to take it up the arse as he looks through the pictures in his new child database.

beijingduck said...

another sign that post-L'Affaire Newsnight, Guido has jumped the shark.

Wait till Bliar's out, the Levy breaks and Guido's hits go through the Ruth (as it were) as the Brown stuff hits the fan.

In the meantime, there are sick laughs to be had:

I heard he likes to take it up the arse as he looks through the pictures in his new child database.

the funny side of bankruptcy said...

I hope crackers 4.10 rumour is true, maybe I'll do a jig and punch the air, just like my hero Tony Blair did when he won the Olympics.

d j eastwood said...

I wonder how many people are a none fixated threat,but just have a random let it all hang out real cause to dislike and dis a prove of people in public life.The use of computing power is real fixated threat to the man in the street,the spying state are the ones who are fixated,there is a need to control people by fear the state is insecure.The state has lost and respect of the voting public,so now is trying to be the all controler.

David Chappell said...

(think cherie naked)"

My day is spoiled...

Anonymous said...

dj eastwood, and others, maybe this is of interest: kiss your democracy goodbye

...The role of the ‘war on terror’ therefore, is to justify a state that has lost all legitimacy and must perforce rule by force, admittedly without recourse to an English equivalent of the SS and given the fact that the majority of the citizens have opted out of a political process over which they have no say, won’t be needed — yet; except of course to repress those who fulfill the role of ‘enemies of the state’, Muslims, ‘extremists’ and other malcontents, who can be safely handled by existing organs of the state, MI5, MI6 and the various and sundry ‘security’ services (in authoritarian regimes, they get called the secret police) all administered with the ‘anti-terror’ laws. Throw in a complicit corporate and state media, which is only too happy to maintain the illusion of a democracy and we have a ‘very English’ police state.
William Bowles, thejournal.parker-joseph.co.uk

garypowell said...

Anon 2:56

I agree with everything in the article except the thing about this being the reason for the war on terror. I see it more as a convenient excuse.

We have elected a "right wing" socialist government 3 times. What the hell did we all expect? Tony Blair John Reid and most of all Gordon Brown come from the Oswald Moseley wing of their party. These chaps understand and like Libertarian principles about as much as Hitler loved Jews.

However what scares me even more then this current bunch of soon to be out of power Nazis running Britain is the our only hope of salvation Cammeron has started talking their language.

I hope and prey that Cammeron is just a clever lying bastard like Blair or we are quite frankly down the Kazi without a bogg brush.

We must understand that their is no Libertarians in the Labour Party left at all anywhere.

Very few left in the Lib/Dem Party.

Plenty in the Conservative Party membership but only marginalised and discredited ones in the Conservative Party leadership.

The question is WHY is this the case, in the contry that almost invented libertarianism?

The answer is and could only be the MEDIA.

The most powerfull and getting more powerfull every day, part of which is the BB bloody C.

I feel at this point I must repeat the mantra. Even at the risk again of sounding paranoid if not seriously madd. However I believe it to be sadly true and I really dont give a flying fuck what people think of me. The current situation in this country is far more serious a matter then my ego.

The BBC is the biggest AVOIDABLE danger to the peace and freedom of the entire planet that currently exsists.

Sort it out before the BBC sorts liberty out forever.

The BBC is fond of talking about freedom and liberty, but only for enemies of that freedom and liberty and the authoritarian socialist dictators and policies which will and are destroying it in the world day by day.

english democrat said...

There are going to be quite a few people on the F.T.A.C hit list and I may get on it as I hate McStalin,Bliar,Crudarse,Camoron and all their evil selfserving bastard mates so much that I WANT to end their lives! I dream about seeing their lifeless (well, more lifeless)eyes on the front page of the Guardian! Does that make me a bad person? To some maybe, to others maybe not! If I could send just ONE to hell I would feel my life would have meaning.
So if you do not see me post again then you will know that the FTAC goons have taken me away! I hope that more people do the same as me, they cannot lock us all away can they?

hatfield girl said...

'they cannot lock us all away can they?'

Yes E.D, Rhetorical questions have really scary answers, as you know. Quite a lot are locked away already. History points to millions in similar kinds of state abroad in the past, and the budget for the provision of justice has just been diverted to the provision of more prison space here.

Rich said...

"The BBC is the biggest AVOIDABLE danger to the peace and freedom of the entire planet that currently exsists."

Oh come on, Doctor Who's not that bad...

Though Torchwood... yeah you've got a point.

gordon's sporting eye said...

It's Gordon's left eye that is blind by the way.

Yeah that's correct, Reid poked out the good one.

While we are on the subject of Gordon's eye, it would seem that folklore has this down as a result of some sporting accident.

iirc he had a detached retina in his left eye, which could not be reattached. Subsequently he also suffered a detached retina in his right eye too, which was corrected. As this condition is extremely rare (~1 in 10000), it would seem most likely this was due to some congenital abnormality or predisposition, rather than being solely due to some sporting accident.

Another case of Gordon Gordon spinning from an early age?

mitch said...

perhaps some more chlorine in the bruun gene pool might help or some"deeper water"perhaps.
suprised he doesnt say he lost it fighting the scottish for the english.

Anonymous said...

What happened to the Progressive Democrats?

garypowell said...

Rich
No sorry I can't even give you that. Doctor who is that bad. In fact due to the covert nature of its propagander it is even worse then the BBCs news output.

There covert propagander even spreads to the weather reports these days. Have you noticed how when there is a period of hot weather they seem to be unable not to mention Globle Warming. Then follow it up with an item on globle warming in some way or another. But when it rains for a week they dont mention anything but the rain and how inconsistent the weather seems to be nowdays?

I am old enough to have lived here long enough to know that the British weather is always inconsistant. Thats part of what living in Britain is all about. Why also we as a nation have a obsession with the weather, more then any other part of the world.

mitch said...

Ah global warming the latest load of bollox to try and make us guilty and paying more tax will absolve us of our sins."Forgive me father for i have a large carbon footprint" climate changes is caused by the sun and nowt we do will change that.a look at the real facts shows brown,blairs and millivolt are talking bollox.Its like farting in wembly stadium and saying it will kill everyone.What next? flat beer fire extinguishers banned,activated charcoal y fronts.bottom line is climates change animals evolve or die.99% of all species that ever lived are extinct.

Anonymous said...

I would like to know how the BBC got the authority to use licensing money to run their massive web site.

mutleythedog said...

They'll never take me alive !! WhoOOoo AaaaaAAaaaa RrrrrrRRRrr! !!!

Rich said...

What about "The Thick Of It" then? That's quite fun.

And my daughter adores "The Night Garden".

Oh and "Mighty Boosh".

If that's a price for state-funded propoganda, I'm all for it!

Geezer said...

The hundreds of milions the BBC use on it's vast News and Current Affairs output, concerns me the most. That is the real proganda machine of the BBC. And most of it's popular entertainment programmes, are made by independant production companies, they could/would exist in a commercial environment, probably with bigger budgets if they were popular enough. It is one of the primary myths, that the BBC spreads about itself, that none of their popular programming would have existed in a commercial environment, What utter bollocks!! The US TV market is the most commercial in the world, and is also the biggest exporter of programming in the world. It produces dramas, comedies and documentaries that are the equal, if not better than anything the BBC does. It has also pioneer new technology, such as HD. The BBC's "quality can't be commercial" mantra is complete nonsense.

Roger Thornhill said...

NeueArbeit Macht Frei is more true now than ever.

These people will not stop.

Rich said...

The BBC could turn itself into HBO. But the UK would be the poorer for it.

Blair's Pensioned Ego Parrot said...

IMO Blair is a dangerous narcissist who should be sectioned forthwith (perhaps with a blunt machete)?Any loony who wants to stalk him or put a custard pie in his face should be rewarded.The next Prime Minister picks his nose and eats it in public.Something's got arse about face here,surely?

available to stalk you anywhere anytime said...

8:36 PM, May 28, 2007

shame on you guido,

anyone who's anyone has their own stalker!

Geezer said...

Rich said...
"The BBC could turn itself into HBO. But the UK would be the poorer for it."

Usual pro-BBC mantra, and complete bollocks. In fact, on the contrary, every household would be over £130 a year better off, just that the Guardian reading classes, would have to put up with the horrible experience of listening and watching adverts, How awfully common!

And if the BBC could produce dramas, half as good as the Sopranos (produced by HBO) I certainly wouldn't be complaining

don't you know where the off switch is? said...

garypowell 3:46 am

agreed that the country's being run by extremists coming at us from all angles

but don't you have remote control which can aid you in the task of switching channels and thus avoiding BBC propaganda?

perhaps you could tell yours frineds about this useful device?

Anonymous said...

The problem isn't 'extremists' it's people who want to massively increase their power at our expense and it's going very well for them so far.

1.09pm, garypowell would need to operate 60 million + off switches wouldn't he.

Russell T Davies' Dr.Who is an excellent example of what's happened to the BBC, boring enough plots, unhinged subtexts.

The BBC wouldn't become HBO, as just an ordinary student lefty tv station it would muddle along as the money ran out, the trashier tabloids would laugh at its journalism and it'd go out of business in a year.

Rich said...

geezer, HBO doesn't have adverts. Costs about £120 a year, mostly films plus some original content, lots of repeats.

Outlaws, The Street, Life On Mars, The State Within, Bleak House, Love Soup, all them BBC4 one offs, as drama goes of late, I'd say the BBC is fairly well covered, dramawise. The wifey is quite a Spooks/Hustle person too. And they've bought Heroes, huzzah.

Jekyll looks like it might be quite fun too.


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