Should Guido Audition to Replace Crick?
Guido occasionally gets calls from producers asking him to go on TV and turns them down. Newsnight have tried a few times without success. But they finally made Guido an offer he couldn't refuse, his own production team, a free hand with the script and five minutes of prime time to do whatever he wanted. So despite never wanting to get his face on TV, Guido decided to take on our political broadcasters; Nick Robinson, Adam Boulton and Paxman. Crick's old job is up for grabs after all...The piece is online here. Now the editors have moved the goalposts and want a studio discussion as well. Sir Michael White will be defending the cosy lobby system, Paxman will be back to asking rather answering the questions. What do you think? Stay in the shadows or do battle with Sir Michael? Vote using the box in the middle column.
139 comments:
If you don't go on, they'll empty-chair you and make you look silly following your piece about ministers refusing to go on to defend their arguments. You have to do it otherwise you lose face.
Are they going to read out your prepared statement or 'empty chair' you?
I think yer gonna be massive!
God I want you.
I want you now, here over the bonnet of my tractor.
Crick sucks.
Considering the subject of the piece, you'd look like an idiot not going.
I'll sponsor you to call Michael White a deluded arrogant dinosaur on air.
Get in there and bang the bastards.
Ideally, rip them off at the same time. After all, it's our money and I'd sooner see it go to a good cause rather than their poxy 'expenses'
Do it, just think how jealous Timmy Ireland will be.
come of it you lying git
you cant wait to get your mug on television .
I dread to think what you will wear , you will probably come over as a cross between christopher biggins and the late sir robin day.
You arrogant twat
Do it but wear a mask - Hugo Weaving style.
Hmm Paxo got a bit hot under the collar there didn't he?
As for the interview, do it. Everyone that cares knows who you are so hiding your face is pointless now.
Give 'em both barrel's!
Appear in your T-Shirt{with Price Tag and web address prominently displayed) and keep your GOB shut...
No Guido, stay in the shadows.
Once you appear on the beeb with smug ingratiated fools like White you inevitably become part of that world of we knows best journalism. You're a blogger not a print journo paid to think what the proprietor/owners want.
Stay outside the circle of cosy, connected, smug talking heads.
White will be his usual gently patronising know it all self, why be associated with them??
If you do go though could you ask Paxo if marfar's knockers are as uge as they appear on telly
I dare you to refuse to answer Paxman's question more times than Michael Howard...
If things get tricky, get yer knob out; I've always found this an effective way of ending a live interview.
Softly, softly catchee monkey. Really you can't refuse; but can you win?
has veryone missed this. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/6502331.stm
seems particularly apposite given GF comments about milliblog
just have an answer ready for the questions about the stuff you've got wrong.
Go for it Guido, I think you hit a nerve with the formidable Paxo btw.
The political journalists could fix these problems in a few weeks. All take an interview holiday. Deny the politicians access. Instead of letting them speak. Speak for them. Report what they are doing, how you see it, not how they say it.
Once they are allowed back on TV use additional facial heat sensitive cameras to provide a picture-in-picture reading that indicates whenever the politician is lying. A simple red dot could be made to appear for every lie and a green one for truthful answers...
Remember to tell them you're not subsidised by the taxpayer, and you're obligated to no-one!
And don't allow Paxo to sneer or patronise you!!
Yeah, why not. Wear the Guido mask, take over the news corporation with a few well timed explosions and then send out a message to the populace to rise up against the tyrannical govt.
Sounds vaguely familiar...
White is still suffering from his relationship with A Campbell. Hit him again he is just a new labour zombie
Go. But wear a mask! :P
That was an excellent piece, except that your speech was somewhat slurred, hem-hem.
Providing you don't get sucked into "the system" I say go for it.
You may procede Mr Fawkes with the following conditions:
(a) prior, written, list of questions
(b) complete editorial rights over output
In the event of any breach indicate that you have all your co-conspirators comments with you (from this thread) & intend simply reading them out, unexpurgated!
Alternatively you could simply take some of your original plot materials with you!
You may not accept Mr Cricks job.
Will you get to shag one of the producers afterwards like Purnell did?
Please take MY poll and do rush down to the bookies and try and get £1000 on Paxo to tell Guido tonight that he's talking bollocks.
If you don't do it St Margaret Clitheroe of York may be among those crushed.
Take a very long spoon ...
If you do go on can you wear a tee shirt with the Vicious Image of Daniela Weber on it.
I can't find a copy on-line :-(
I gave up long ago expecting the truth from MSM.
I have found a way forward towards the truth though, I go on line and read blogs like yours./
I am fed up with spin!!
The establishment are getting scared with blogs like yours - keep it up!!
Do it via some form of video link, projecting a Max Headroom/Gorillaz style interactive character.
Or freak them out by taking a glove puppet in with you and insisting that it does the interview.
FFS remember your roots and who you are. You will morph into another Sir Michael White if you start to dip your wick in the mainstream however good your intentions are. You cannot ride two horses with one backside.
I would empty chair them to make the point, or insist on a cardboard cut out in the chair and speak from another studio!
Employ Hitch as your stunt double. Failing that, don't let them set you up by their control of the agenda.
" But enough of Sir Michels pontificating, what the public wants to know is..."
"Remind me again of the percentage of guardian revenue derived from advertising public sector jobs ?"
Guido.
Go for it. Just watch out that you don't get 'fitted up' with a pocket full of gunpowder when you enter. You know what happened last time!
A Plastic Paddy or Paxman? I think Paxman won that one!
Go for it Plastic Paddy!
Guido,
Be bold, be brave, but above all be wary.
We all know that there is an agenda to limit the impact of blogging, so just be aware that they will attempt to ambush you, to belittle what you do.
If you are successful, you will legitimise blogging and put it on the same playing field as MSM journalists, something that the anti-libertarians never want.
It's a quick way to get rid of troublesome people ,offer them a job subject to one or three months probation,then kick them out after few months,as being unsuitable the right contract can keep them out of your hair for ages,but we know the BBC is a nice company to work for and wouldn't even think of doing that.
backwoodsman said...
"...don't let them set you up by their control of the agenda".
Excellent suggestions sir a few more "prompts" might be suggested by conspirators.
eg
"Everyone in the blogosphere understands that......"
"FFS Sir Michael......."
"Are you related to Tim Ireland....
"Have you actually watched Gordon's two minute bogeytastic excavation via YouTube?"
etc etc
Guido,
You are taking the piss? Youve seen what a precious nonce Paxman is, he blew up like a tool on the clip shown. he would be unbearable, you wouldnt get a word in..... and some spoon Sir chumley warner........ do it. You can always just knock Paxman out, you arnt after any votes are you, "empty chair" might take ona new leevl with that pompous twat covered in claret. Come on nonce, introduce the waether...
You have no choice.
If you back out now your credibility will be shot. People will say you were afraid of being paxoed.
Moreover, we need more intellectual credibility than the likes of Ian Dale can provide.
Can you ask Pax how long it will take until hes as good a regi bosenquet?
I said it before and I'll say it again, the best way the BBC can surpress criticism of itself, the Labour Party or the Guardianistas, it's news output represents, is by putting critical voices on the payroll and/or flattering them by offering them work. Then it is in your ego's interest/financial interest(if they ever actually pay you)to STFU and not to bring attention to their cosy relationship between the Beeb and NuLab. They want ot control the uncontrolled Blogasphere, and what better way, than to seduce one of the most successful political bloggers around (and who just happens to be Brown's biggest critic) You shouldn't do it, but you will, Your ego wouldn't let you do anything else. But beware, they could be setting a big elephant trap for you instead of being nice to you. Perhaps they see it as the best way to destroy your credibility. Not many BBC TV presenters/correspondents, went to HCHE!
eileen critchly
you are eileen drury I claim my 5 quid
hold your nerve man, don't do it
it will never work out as you'd hope or plan
you know it makes sense
A propos slurred speech. I have just found this on Iain Dale: "Chad 3:22 PM said... 'Well I made my small contribution to the interview by filling Guido with vodka and Tblisi wine at lunch before filming'". It's vital to keep up the intake; on Newsnight you will need all the antiseptic protection you can get.
Think about it. Do you really think the BBC or any MSM, want to show "amateur", in their eyes anyway, political bloggers in good a light? Especially as you made a big deal about Newsnight burying the Cash for Honours developments, a while ago. They either want to seduce you (to shut you up) or fuck you over and destroy your credibility. Either way, democracy get's another kick in the nuts.
5:02 & 5:35 - It's not the Broadcasting Act it's the Communications Act (http://www.opsi.gov.uk/acts/acts2003/20030021.htm).
Sounds like a set up to me. They all have a vested interest in seeing you fall. Meaning they are more likely to gang together to stiff you. But if you refuse they'll rip you apart. Tough choice.
Don't do it Guido, you're a blogger not a TV personality. You're more powerful NOT seeking the limelight - they don't want you there to make you look good, do they? They've got big salaries and expense accounts to protect, remember. Is this going out live - or edited? They've lots of experience of "creative" editing which can put whatever spin they like on an interview.
Doesn't matter whether people know your real name or not - don't let them make you the story, you have nothing to gain by this.
No, you'll just make a fool of yourself. Stay away from TV and stick to the written word. Resonance Radio demonstrated that sadly broadcasting is not your forte. If you can persuade someone to give you hours and hours and hours and hours of practice perhaps you'd improve - Iain Dale did slightly, Alan Yentob didn't at all.
Obviously it's a trap but it's also an oppurtunity. The only question is do you have the balls?
Why not get Robin Aitken, author of 'Can we trust the BBC?', to appear as your proxy?
You have shown together with the rabble that praise you, and by the bullying of those who disagree with your cretinous postings to be cowards.Brave fellows all when sitting at home in front of your computers,yes but in the real world your brave posturing will show you for what you are pathetic nothings.Paxo has class and all you have is a band of insignificant, futile imbeciles egging you on,you'll chicken out, you don't have the bottle to appear in the real world.
Don't whatever you do, let Paxman set the agenda.
He is not going to discuss what you are led to believe he will, rather he will choose to sideslip into something you either cannot answer or defend.
May the light go with you.
Guido, any truth is the story, that a female Tory MP has been found naked and drunk in the H of C. Tell me it can't be true.
yeah stay out of it Guido, stick to what you know and what you are good at ie shafting this shower of shit some people call a government
pensioners all said...
"You have shown together with the rabble....." blah blah
Where's the punch line then we're all waiting.
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Absolutely spot on, but it could be precised down into the last statement: Paxman, Robinson et al should worry and respect the public who pay their wages instead of the cunts who they think they need to keep sweet.
You were absolutely right BTW, and you proved the point on that craven fucker Paxman, that blondly reading out their statements is just pandering to their party line. Why do they need to send someone to spin in person when arseholes like Paxman will just read it out for them without any fear of cross-examination?
You should have asked the twat, seeing as he claims to be even handed, why he went grovelling to Mandy when he was outed as a knob jockey by Matthew Paris.
Which reminds me Gordon Brown converted to Buddism last month ...
... he wanted to transcend dental medication.
Hah! As predicted by the great navelgazer Tuscan "Russell Grant" Tony.
Go for it. Base some of the pieces in Tuscany. 5% discount for friends 'n family natch.
Pick your nose and wipe it on Paxo's tie.
The uninitiated will want to know why and it'll be one in the nuts for Brown and you'll never be on TV again, thereby protecting your integrity.
Over 60's club said...
pensioners all said...Where's the punch line then we're all waiting.
The punch line old person is when the piteous Guido chickens out which he will, I will post again saying I told you so, plus I have been posting here for some time because I know the nauseous garbage who make up the comments pages will rise to the bait and shower me with obscenities,they always do,much like you have and it's fun,fun,fun you silly people.
Guido - you should do it.
Ask why Crick kept quiet on the Blair uni photo, but used Cameron's one.
Ask Michael White why the Chancellor picking his nose for two minutes in PMQs on Budget Day has received no lobby coverage when they'd have been all over it if it were Cameron.
raedwald 4:31pm
I agree totally
just whip it out
Kein Problem!
I reckon you'll cream all over pax
"You have shown together with the rabble....." blah blah
Where's the punch line then we're all waiting.
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
and
"shower me with obscenities,they always do,much like you have and it's fun,fun,fun you silly people." [my italics]
what obscenities?
You should have thought about a more structured engagement approach - that is come up with more details on policies for the editors - then have picked on their weakest point.
For example a hidden policy about how many times a question could be asked and in what way. Paxo's flies by the seat of his pants most nights and has hi interviewing style has precious little structure, they are mostly reactionary and not incisive most of the time. if somebody mentioned their mother he would probably react with a question about bed wetting.
A more analytic and less prosaic script next time.
pensioners all said...
"Over 60's club said...
pensioners all said...Where's the punch line then we're all waiting.
The punch line old person...."
Your remarks gentlemen we regard as being objectionable as they are clearly ageist - we would have expected better from our elders!!
There is no vacancy for Michael Crick's old job. There were already going to be some redundancies, and a threat of strike action if they were to be made compulsory. So departure of Martha Kearney just brings them back to their complement prior to the hiring of the last few journalists.
Unless you want to bump off Grossman or Maitlis ? There's no room at the inn - thank goodness. I look forward to getting journalism and accurate news from the BBC, idle chit-chat and gossip from the Guido, and may the twain never meet...
Anonymous said...
"You have shown together with the rabble....." blah blah
what obscenities?
Not you old person but here are a few links you may care to peruse "Rich & Marks Monday Morning View" I post as an honest man
"Miliblogger Sulking, De-linking" I post as mike ,happy pensioner,retired and happy,golden oldie ,happy chappie,
I am a pensioner,tedious ,nauseated,happy band of pensioners,True Tory ,
Over 60's club said...
pensioners all said...Your remarks gentlemen we regard as being objectionable as they are clearly ageist - we would have expected better from our elders!!
I am 64 you belong to the over 60's club,we are both old and you sir would also appear to be a little silly.
pensioners all said...
"Anonymous said... Blah blah blah"
Congratulations!!!!!
Is this the joke?
anonymous 7.17pm
"journalism & accurate news.."???
on what part of the BBC pray? I have been a BBC listener for 25 years until probably 6 momths ago. They are as reliable and trustworthy as Bono. Or possibly "Sir" Bob Geldof. I assume they appeal to you because of your politics, which is not what unbiased and neutral reporting is about, mon brave. I don't want 18doughtystreet on the Today programme in the slightest, but I would like some less obvious partisan drivel. Please.
wordverify "lsdcsq". Ravetastic!
Hmm.. A very good film, but I am not sure how you can sustain your line against Paxman about 'empty chair' interviews. The point is, you don't do political interviews or read out press releases - for a start there is no politician stupid enough to do an interview with Guido, as you are too hot to handle. They would get fried.
Paxman also occasionally roasts his guests and as a result of his straight talking, no-nonsense approach there are no-shows and 'empty chairs'. What do you suggest as an alternative ? That if we was less like David Frost / Robin Day but more like Jeremy Vine or [heaven forfend] Des O'Connor that they would show up more ?
Or that he should throw caution to the wind and be so acid-tongued and acerbic that he would become, like you 'too hot to handle'. Sorry, but I am not sure I've fully understood your point here.
Good news all..."Tory lead slips as voters welcome Budget" from the reliable as ever Indy and it gets even better "The Tory lead has dropped from 11 points to just four " looks like we are going to win again chaps.
good news all
Yes Gordon is sooooo popular
hahahahahahahha etc
Anonymous said...Or that he should throw caution to the wind and be so acid-tongued and acerbic that he would become, like you 'too hot to handle'. Sorry, but I am not sure I've fully understood your point here.
I think your reasoned posting will have lost most readers after the word acerbic,they tend not to read comments only make them.
The Hitch said...you will probably come over as a cross between christopher biggins and the late sir robin day.
Having seen the film I think more like Christopher Biggins.
It beggars belief that you should so cravenly cave in to political correctness by deleting the hitch from your list of links.
no doubt you also approved of the persecution of Colonel Patrick Mercer.
Question:
What is the purpose of 'Newsnight'?
Answer:
Newsnight educates & informs the public about current affairs yaddayaddayadda.....
Wrong Answer
Correct Answer
The purpose of Newsnight is to keep Paxman, his producer, the girl who puts his slap on and all the other layabouts hanging around Television Centre in their well paid, publicly funded jobs. Sir Michael Shite and other wastes of space too numerous to mention are all part of the mutual masturbation society that makes that happen.
Question:
Why do they want you on Newsnight?
Answer:
To bring your undoubted charms to wider audience
Wrong answer
Correct answer:
Your becoming a pain in the butt and threatening their cosy little world. They'll try to bury you.
Cue camera 2 with a little too much red in the mix. Push the treble on the mike up a notch. We give you Guido - pubescent schoolboy with acne. Shite's stumped answering one of your sallies? Cut to Paxo and a humorous comment. Shite bowls you a googlie? They'll leave the camera on you for 7 seconds of dead air and a chance to do your rabbit in the headlights impersonation.
If your thinking of battling the establishment media take heed of that Sun Tzu guy. The Chink who wrote 'The Art of War'. Fight on your own battleground.
peter hitchens said...no doubt you also approved of the persecution of Colonel Patrick Mercer.
Bit cerebral for this crowd Pete.
Anonymous said...Your becoming a pain in the butt and threatening their cosy little world. They'll try to bury you.
I believe Newsnight gets around two million viewers per night and Guido gets the same dozen or so posters/readers/looneys per day.I think you've gone a bit soft in the head daft fellow.
The Chink who wrote 'The Art of War'.
Charming.
"you're living in a pathetic conspiracy world"
hahahaha
I never realised Jeremy was so insightful
Dont sell yourself out.
Thousands of people like your blog... if you go down that road you will become like all the rest.
Ouch - getting stitched up like a kipper...
Michael White what a w*nker, he doesn't like Guido does he!
Fucking hell Guido you let Crick toast you like that.
Dude, I've lost respect!
you made yourself look like a nob head.
White had the measure of Guido me thinks. Doing that in the dark made Guido look like an, erm, weirdo!
"Another display of toothless deference" - this is why Paxo is king!
Revealing your sources? That can't be good for business.
Guido was mullered. Oh well.
White 1 - Guido 0
Bad luck old chap.
Just say that you need to be able to highlight for example
David Mills and Tessa Jowells "seperation" and the lack of MSM coverage, or investigation as to whether they actually are seperated.
You have enough gossip on people that the BBC protects that they won't let you on.
i just watched you on newsnight, you really are a whiney little pussy. leave politics to people who don't quote catherine tate. Also can i point out you weren't having a go at jeremy paxman, you were defending yourself badly from their jibes.
you are a nob
Revealed his sources - he did that too didn't he! Christ he has lost some street cred tonight. I'm a regular reader and i think Guido should speak to Stephen Hawking about going back in time and not doing Newsnight again.
You got the two email systems story off trad reporter Nick Robinson? You're lucky Michael and Jeremy didn't laugh out loud!
I have to say well done but they have now found your new Leah Betts.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/6502643.stm
Legislating the internet may be harder than freedom to party.
white looked very tetchy. your touching raw nerves there Guido. ignore the above criticisms mate - you're dealing with some major league big media players here - and they are getting mightily pissed off with the growing popularity of blogs.
Oh dear. Michael White made mincemeat out of you.
Buggered harder than Iain Dale on a night out on Canal Street. Ouch!
Don't give up the day job Guido.
Nah Guido, leave it to the big boys, mate.
Hate to twist the knife, but really how can anyone take you seriously after that performance?
Sorry Guido - that was rubbish,,,,
Paul Staines.... oops "Guido" - you were totally outmanoeuvred by Michael White and came across like a complete tw*t!
www.mcdonalds.com/recruitment
Oh dear. Can't say they came off that well either though. Why oh why did you hide away?
Dole office is down the road on the left.
Maybe you could try doing a showbiz blog?
Politics isn't really your forte, is it?
Stick to the Blogs, However me thinks they do protest to much.
Spit-roasted by Paxo and White. I'd say you were pretty well stuffed.
I always thought your voice would be more masculine.
Perhaps we should get this local journalist to take on the political establishment. he does not seem afraid to make a few political enemies and make Labour ministers look foolish:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YyvsATYoZTM
I wouldn't be as harsh as some of the previous posters, but I would say that you struggled in the interview and showed yourself to be rather naive in respect of 'real world' political journalism.
Michael White was, of course, spot on when he stated that the blogosphere was far more to do with comment than real journalism. However, there's a place for both and I'm sure the airing will increase your site's hit-rate (albeit temporarily), so, other than a little credibility, not much was lost.
What a pompous prat the "White" thing is!As my dearest has just said "they don`t like it up em".My precious has got "Man Flu" but managed to crawl from the sick bay to watch Guido on Paxo`s nightly stuffing !Keep on going Mr.Fawkes you`re smarter than the whole caboodle!
Fucked.
Well & truly fucked.
Beyond recognition.
Does it hurt to sit now?
Why was Michael White so aggressive on tonight's Newsnight programme, was it the natural defensive mechanism of someeone frightened of competition, or is he just a strpppy smug git?
Don't worry, Paul - I think McDonald's is hiring. (Although some level of skill is required for burger flipping, so you may not be cut out for it.)
Une simple question est ce que vous gagner quel que chose de tous cette interference dans le milieu politique ??just testing french english boy
you touched a raw nerve with White.
you touched a raw nerve with Paxo.
irrespective of your own performance , that is NOT the issue.
staying the darkness was good idea - to turn yourself into a proper "celeb" would distract from your central premise - that the 4th Estate is failing utterly to REPORT THE FUCKING NEWS.
just go onto biased-bbc comment threads any day to see just how biased and agenda driven the Beeboid journalists are nowadays. no facts - just lots of agendas. pathetic. thank god for guido exposing the media types for what they are.
scratch my back i will scratch yours ...they need to make living they have to kiss some asses some do it everyday at work .
Scared? You should be, you had a nice little blog until your performance this evening flushed it down the bog.