Funny Turner
Variations on these are going round Westminster:
Q. What do you have to be get off Loans-for-Lordship's charges?
A. Ruthless.
Q. What do you call Labour Party HQ without Loans-for-Lordships?
A. Roofless.
Tuesday, February 6, 2007
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68 comments:
Tony wouldn't dump on Ruthie, would he ? Not half!!!
Anyone know if Tony and Mick are still sharing a racket? As in tennis, Guido.
If Ruth gets Roofless, she can stay with me.
When the levee breaks you need to have a bruth, they sweep the crap.
What do you call a Prime Minister without a wife involved in mortgage fraud? .............
Homeless! Boom Boom.
What has happened to the fragrant Cherie? She seems to lying low.
Is that Funny or Fanny?
I'd ruth her up any day
Guido, who is putting nonsecure items in the comment blogs? tell them to stop it, its fuckin annoying!
Q. What do you have to be to get charged on Loans-for-Lordships charges?
A. Turnered in by a Mr. ARP. Blair (Witness. Who saw nothing, in fact was out of the country at the time if he can remember correctly which he can't as he has little recollection of the events other than it wasn't him. It was that nasty Mr. Levi-dodgy-loan and his sidekick Ms. Turnered-in, both of whom he only met briefly in the bogs at No.10 and he can't remember them. Did they have something to do with No.10?)
My favourite Ruthless and Chaka Khan song is "Ain't Nobody"
No 10's Gus O'Donnell is shooting his load about media coverage of cash for honours. Is THE KITCHEN IN OVERHEAT AND MELTING.
Guido, get off the beer and cuddle Gordo's moles. What the hell is happening!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
The Lord Levy will struggle to withstand the grim deficiencies of life on the inside. I trust he will petition the Courts to bring his servants with him. You know, poor Jeffrey Archer has never been the same since his incanceration- his writing has suffered immeasurably for one thing. He is but a shadow of his former self.
I 'ad that Ruth Turner in the back of my cab once. Scared witless she was. 'Ad to clean up the seat afterwards.
Do you think they will press ahead with televised court cases, all things considered?
Suppose it depends if the decision is by then Gordon's!
How do you feel when you are banged up for conspiracy?
Rueful..............boom boom.
Machiavelli - I had more of a vision of the Roman Colosseum when Tony, Ruthie, Lord Cover-up and the rest of the crew are cast into the pit. They beg pitifully for mercy and squabble over who is to blame. Fuck 'em says Guido and releases the hungry lions....
I hear the Dome is now free after Super-Slots'R Us went to Manchester. Sky would make a killing on pay-per-view
What's all this "labels" nonsense? You haven't come over all 2.0 on us, have you Guido?
There's nothing like a nice 'turner' to relieve the tedium. And they don't come much nicer than Ruth.
"web 2.0"
No no that was "tags" and "folksonomies"
"labels" is .. er web 2.1 beta
She'll be a big hit with the bull dykes down Holloway.
"Tony wouldn't dump on Ruthie,"
is that known as a 'reverse Oaten'?
Flitting Images (You may just catch them before the interesting news…)
Altogether now…
Wave… a… turkey in the air,
Chuck the slots to Manchester,
Toss a cricket match,
And be glad that Jonny’s back,
Sod congestion fees,
Buy a great big football club,
Watch a TV spoof,
And regret …your… name… is… Ruth!
Lah…lah…lahlahahlah
Lahlahlahlahlahlahlaaaaah….
"they don't come much nicer than Ruth."
a number of my friends have said that.
Priceless !!
Best laugh I've had all week (so far)
see that one of the health and safety nazi's got busted..
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/tayside_and_central/6335491.stm
couldnt happen to a more deserving case..
A sign of the current desperation is that Tony Blair has not been able to give up his addiction to Lord Levy's fundraising abilities who in addition to having 'tapped up' Lakshmi Mittal for another few million, is prowling round other squillionaires trying to trouser some more cash for Labour.
What 'sweeteners' can he dangle in front of them now to get them to cough up the readies, one wonders ?
A seat in the bunker for when 'Bird Flu' reaches pandemic status ?
These Ruth jokes are over my head.
How's about - why does Ruthie wear a special uniform?
Because she belongs to the National Elf Service.
Istanbultory said: "You know, poor Jeffrey Archer has never been the same since his incanceration- his writing has suffered immeasurably for one thing."
Come again?
BTW I never knew he had cancer ...
Surely they are much more likely to be
T, Ruth less
I do so hope Levy doesnt do a Dame Shirley , if he truly loves this country and is a good Jew he will fess up and take the consequences like a man . A few months in an open nick and the satisfaction of knowing that he got Blair back for shafting him (which he has)and in the process wrecking blairs life and the life of his pond silt dwelling parasitical family all of whom are currently waiting to fill the boots of the Kinnock clan.
That or get the Mossad to arrange for Tony and Cherie to get arse cancer.
tyger,
this site is an acquired taste.
its full of wankers, toss pots, homos, suedo homos, neo homos and pratts.
but, sometimes, just sometimes it has some gems of information..
guido on the other hand, tends to keep out of the rubbish stuff, and delivers, when he does speak words of wisdom, and news dragged out of dark dank places..
Here's some more Brown sleaze for yez....
At a Treasury Select Committee hearing today, Sir Nicholas Stern revealed that it was Gordon Brown who appointed Labour MP Colin Challen to a high profile climate change taskforce – clearing the way for Brown’s close ally Ed Balls to stand unopposed for the new Morley and Outwood seat. Responding to a question from David Gauke MP, Sir Nicholas also admitted that he’d had no prior knowledge of the appointment until the Chancellor informed him he’d be working with Challen.....
http://www.housepricecrash.co.uk/forum/index.php?showtopic=41844
Why have poster's avatars suddenly become "nonsecure items"?
old news, Iain Dale's been running that one all afternoon..
tell us something new.. like Brown's been arrested in the cash for peerages enquiry....
or been arrested under the SOCA laws for facilitating tax evasion by the Sith...
Anonymous said...
old news, Iain Dale's been running that one all afternoon..
First time it's been on Guido though.
Anonymous 5:45 said...
tyger,
this site is an acquired taste.
its full of wankers, toss pots, homos, suedo homos, neo homos and pratts.
Which category do you fit into sweet cheeks?
If they have broken the law - let them be punished and Labour suffer, but wallowing in their asssumed personal ruin and discomfort just demeans those of you who do it. It is not as if the cash for honours row has caused anyone outside any genuine suffering or that it is a new idea - just this government was so damn silly about being whiter than white when it is no different to any other in terms of patronage.
Why should Levy fail to laugh (when he isn't singing)? Mind you I've heard some folks in NuLabour sing and it isn't funny at all.
Anonymous said...
If they have broken the law.....
Feck off you New Lab troll, you bastards have been asking for it and now you're getting it and we're laughing our arses off.
As for being no worse than previous Governments, don't try that old "all as bad as each other" bollox round here. New Labour are the sleaziest, vilest, most corrupt bunch of bastards this country's seen for a good long while.
Downing St will need fumigating after those two pricks have left.
I wonder when the last inventory of fixtures and fittings was made at the Downing Street properties?
'The louder he taked of his honour, the faster we counted our spoons.'
Anonymong 5.45...WTF is a 'suedo (pseudo?) homo? And why the fuck would anybody want to be one?
sir mark stewart , head of anglo-american, has gone public on the business fallout of the BAE-Saudi bribery affair.
in short, its affected the reputation of ALL British business worldwide.
this is being reported on C4 news right now.
Paul Skinner, Chairman of the mining company Rio Tino, has written to the Chancellor expressing disquiet and how the how affair has undermined their attempts to lessen corruption in Africa and to adhere to globally accepted business ethics standards.
one gets the feeling that this story is not going to go away anytime soon.
is that pseudo or suede homo?
anon said: If they have broken the law - let them be punished and Labour suffer, but wallowing in their asssumed personal ruin and discomfort just demeans those of you who do it.
Blair is evil and I hope he roasts in eternal hell. He deserves nothing but bad things. He wanted his 'blood price' now he must take the consequences.
http://www.cpgb.org.uk/worker/490/wmd.html
I think Suedo Homo must be an Italian poofter with a penchant for pigskin!
civil servants are supposed to be apolitical right?
the old Civil Service College used to provide recruits with a good service background right?
Not anymore.... Now its called The National School of Government and it trains grads to be good party thinkers... and providers.... and policy makers...active generators and contributors.
and its now adopting a new status as a non-Ministerial department.
Doesnt that break ALL the rules of being a civil servant ?
its turning out hundreds of Ed Balls types every year
http://www.nationalschool.gov.uk/about_us/index.asp
Levy's off to New Orleans when the proverbial hits the airconditioning anyway - they know how shore up bad levys there ...
(Thank you, thank you I'm here until Thursday)
PS
Never trust someone who's first name sounds like the noise you make once you've done the Hughie and Ralph bit and are retching dry. A night out in Soho on Guinness and port will give you an idea why :)
gaytory...no that's a sow do homo. Come on anonymong 5.45. The suspense is killing me. Have you come up with a totally new word or are you a thick fucker who can't spell?
A suedo homo must some kind of off shoot of the leather queen subculture.
Not as odd as the clown fetishist I have on my blog.
Maybe he means a Swede homo. That is, a homo who likes Swedes. Or maybe a homo who likes root vegetables (let's not go there.) Or maybe a Swedish homo. But I like "suede homo" best. Referring no doubt to the velveteen-like pile, occasioned by countless microscopic villi, which lines the lower alimentary canal.
I see one of 'em has got of the hook.
Whose bacon will the CPS save next.
A vet who attended the Suffolk bird flu outbreak is in hospital suffering from a mild respiratory illness, the Health Protection Agency has said.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/6336823.stm
Is this the first one?
yeah ok I cant spell
I meant pseudo, as in fake, pretend
I like to dress up OK?
anon -> when i saw BBC reporters on the news reporting from right in FRONT of the turkey farm, i kind of knew that the exclusion zone was a bit lax to say the least.
and if such basics like that are lax, then its no wonder that a vet might have caught something - but i do hope its just a false alarm and that the chap in question will ok. my thoughts are with his family tonight - god knows what they must be going through right now.
"its turning out hundreds of Ed Balls types every year"
maybe "Shaun of the Dead" wasnt really a comedic horror film - it was actually a prophecy of things to come.
interesting factoids
Ruth Turner's birth name is
Catríona Ruth Turner
born Dublin. 1970.
Her father is Denys Alan Turner , a British academic, who is currently Professor of Historical Theology at Yale, having previously been the Norris-Hulse Professor of Divinity at Cambridge. He is a Roman Catholic.
Ruth's dad authored "On the philsophy of Karl Marx" (Sceptre, 1968) and "Marxism and Christianity" , (Blackwell, 1983)
Ruth's ex-partner, Matt Finnegan (hey, the Irish mafia do around a bit, eh Guido?), was suspended from Liverpool city council in 2002, after it was discovered that he had awarded a big fat contract to - Vision 21 - which so happens to be Ruth's "social engineering"/tax parasite company set up in 1992. Of course Ruth left the company in 2000, two years before the contract and was thus able to invoke the standard X-Files ploy of "plausible deniability".
ah Ruth. so many questions to be asked... so many answers that are being hidden away on that wonderful 2nd email system.
ah but Ruth - even though you left Vision 21 in 2000, it gladdens my heart that you've pulled a few strings to put a bit back into the auld sod...
http://www.visiontwentyone.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=30&Itemid=44
"Ballymun Regeneration Ltd – Vision Twentyone was commissioned to organise and run the first ever Citizen’s Jury in the Republic of Ireland. It was set up to look into anti social behaviour and identified the main anti-community behaviours and potential causes of anti-community behaviour in Ballymun."
ah gee thanks Ruth. Importing New Labour into Ireland. How wonderful. I suppose its a step up from having to depend on Sinn Fein kneecappings. But , hey, thats progress or something or other.
Is suedo homo any relation to our prudent friend jocko homo?
sorry folks. i should have hyperlinked.
here it is
"citizen juries". We used to have them in Ireland - in the 1920s. Independent courts under the then illegal Dail Eireann - a separate Irish nationalist court system, completely independent of the British Crown and British Law.
funny how that idea has resurfaced again, but in England
From the Vision21 website:
"Our juries – also known as Peoples’ Panels and Citizens’ Councils – are a truly deliberative, educative and empowering process. We bring between 16 and 20 people together over a number of days to take evidence, examine the issues and make recommendations on the topic being investigated."
dont forget to bring a red flag with a hammer and sickle on it
Ok you say you meant pseudo but the suede homo concept is not a new one. My brother-in-law's father (deceased and unregretted) genuinely regarded suede shoes as the incontrovertible mark of the human sewer. He virtually cast his son into outer darkness for buying a pair of hush puppies in the late 60s
Cassandra
If The shoes were both suede and lace ups and worn in the British isles (or Ireland) then the father of your brother in law was indeed justified in sending the scoundrel to Coventry.
Suede loafers are acceptable in hot climates or indeed England, wales or Ireland during the summer months, but never lace ups.
Suede shoes must never be worn in scotland.
Laced up suede boots are acceptable if one is engaged in the business of killing foreigners in a hot dry climate.
I hope this was of help.
Charlie Muffin wore lace up suede shoes. And he was a hard bastard.Ken Clark weras lace up suede shoes. And he's a bastard.
"Our juries – also known as Peoples’ Panels and Citizens’ Councils – are a truly deliberative, educative and empowering process. We bring between 16 and 20 people together over a number of days to take evidence, examine the issues and make recommendations on the topic being investigated."
Look up "Delphic Technique".
"Ruth's ex-partner, Matt Finnegan (hey, the Irish mafia do around a bit, eh Guido?)"
Mattie is a scouser, not a fenian. He was a Catholic with a nice little wife in Whitefield (Bury/Manchester) when I knew him. What has happened to him? Is the Pope involved in all of this?
"Which category do you fit into sweet cheeks?"
and which sweet cheeks do YOU fit into, Peter Hitchens?
"Mattie is a scouser, not a fenian. He was a Catholic with a nice little wife in Whitefield (Bury/Manchester) when I knew him. What has happened to him? Is the Pope involved in all of this?"
couldnt care less. i'm irish, so i'm probably in a better position to see the irish mafia types at work.... they arent reporting to the pope or sinn fein - they mostly report to themselves.
and not only are they cunts -they are traitors to the irish nation. that is the kind of people you folks are dealing with.
hence - new niebore.
(and to ignore irish history and to serve the british government despite all that history , tells you a lot about those irish new labour types.. here's a clue - they dont give a fuck about anyone but themselves while cloaking that in a self serving "socialist" blanket.
utter cunts who wouldnt survive 5 minutes in the irish political scene.
Looks like we may all be Ruthless very soon, unless the BBC is just wasting licence fee payers money again.
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