Gordon Can't Afford a Snap Election

We all know the Labour party is £27 million in the red. Labour's membership is at the lowest it has been for over half a century at a mere 178,889.* This means the Labour party has fewer members than the Women's Institute.

Effectively the Labour party needs to raise £150 from each and every member to pay off the debts. If the Labour party was a company on the stockmarket it would be a short sell because it is in what traders call a "death spiral". Rising debt, falling revenues and an unpopular brand have already forced drastic redundancies. This means less employees to generate revenue and improve the brand through campaigning. The party cannot even cover its outgoings as things stand never mind repay the "loans" which are now coming due under great scrutiny from the media and the police.

This all means that the unions will be called upon to bail out the Labour party, a new source of dodgy loans is being utilised in the form of the Unity Trust Bank. UTB is owned by the Co-Op and the unions. The unions are getting millions in bungs from government grants (see "How the Labour Party Washes Money from the Taxpayer Via the Unions") which is then recycled into donations from the unions themselves or through politically motivated loans from the UTB. The Co-Op bank's £3 billion of reserves are being eyed enviously by the Labour party. If Labour manages to get it hands on the Co-Op's money, however it is laundered, the government will be no better than a corrupt African kleptocracy. The likely public outcry that would follow any blatant looting of the Co-Op's reserves directly is the only explanation Guido can fathom for Labour inducing the smallish UTB to lend such a large amount of its capital base to replenish the party coffers - loans ultimately guaranteed by the Co-Op. So large were the loans relative to the size of the UTB that the FSA required the bank to make monthly returns detailing the risky loan's status.
It gets worse. Guido has been passed a report prepared by John Ralfe, the respected former head of corporate finance at Boots and a consultant to the UK Accounting Standards Board. In the report he dissects the Labour Party Superannuation Society (“LPSS”) for the party’s 300 employees. With £43m of liabilities and a £6.3m deficit, LPSS is only 85% funded. The pension deficit is an unsecured loan, making LPSS is the Labour Party’s largest unsecured creditor - shades of Robert Maxwell. The pensions regulator wants this deficit plugged over ten years, and put LPSS in a high risk category because the party has £27m negative reserves, an estimated £6m in off-balance sheet operating leases and has mortgaged its property assets. To plug the deficit the party will need to find £1 to £2m extra a year at a time when it is operating at loss. The report states "Although total member and employer contributions have already been increased from 16% to 19% in January 2004, the employer’s £1m annual contribution does not meet even the cost of new pension promises, let alone reduce the underlying deficit."

In the past in this situation the pensions regulator has "suggested" to pension funds that freehold property such as the headquarters be pledged to the pension scheme. Labour however has already mortgaged its property to the Co-Op to raise "commercial loans". Guido would describe those loans as political - no commercial bank would lend to such a financially depleted organisation bordering on insolvency.

If, as expected, Gordon becomes PM next year without a single vote from non-members of the Labour party or union blocs being cast for him, he will have no mandate to govern. The country and the opposition will expect and demand of him a snap general election. An election which the Labour party cannot afford to fight...

*This figure is derived from the number of ballot papers sent out in the 2006 NEC for the Constituency ballot. This reveals another sharp fall in membership since the end of 2005 when the official membership figure reported to the Electoral Commission was 198,026 and way down from the 407,000 in 1997.

How to do Negative Political Advertising

The Austrian elections are on Sunday, vote ÖVP if you want to keep the girl.

Hat-tip : Peter Ould

Turner Prize Special - Friday Caption Competition

Closer and Closer...

Here is a copy of Guido's email to Ruth Turner from the week before last sending her a copy of the Sleazy Sweepstakes game :

From: Guy Fawkes
Date: Sep 19, 2006 10:19 AM

Subject: Are you a player?

To: Ruth Turner

A game for everyone in your office.

--
Guido Fawkes Esq.

The Ruth Turner story archive.

Email Guido for a PDF file to print out, then cut out and play Sleazy Sweepstakes in your office (Peerages not included.)

A-listers Scramble for Seats

Tomorrow notice of the second tranche of seats is due to be e-mailed to Tory A-listers. Expect numerous mess ups and people left off the list by CCHQ, just like the previous times. No doubt ConservativeHome.com will publish the list of seats immediately. The deadline for the A-listers to apply for these seats is expected to be mid-October. As the polls improve competition is becoming ever more fierce.

No Live Blog of Prezza's Speech

There are limits.

At the end when Tony, Cherie, Pauline and Prezza clasped hands and literally took a last bow, the camera cut to Gordon looking on. He would never make a poker player, his face transparently said "Mine, mine, soon the precioussss will be all mines..."

Punish MPs

UKIP Set to Target Battersea Marginal

Europhile Jane Ellison's selection for Battersea in the Open Primary has dismayed many mainstream Conservatives and has been greeted as an opportunity by UKIP. Which they plan to seize...

Crick Wins in Battersea

Jane Ellison won the Conservative Open Primary in Battersea on the third recount. It was obviously close and it has to be said that effectively the most left-wing candidate was selected to represent the Conservatives by a small margin of votes swung by non-Conservatives. The BBC's Michael Crick is reported to have voted for her.

The Open Primary idea is a good one, but letting your enemies select your candidate seems silly. In the U.S. you at least have to be registered with the party to vote in their primary. When Jane Ellison stood in the General Election in Pendle in May 2005 she achieved an against the trend swing to the LibDems of +9.4% and away from the Conservatives of -2.1% on what was not a good night for Labour. Fortunately for Jane the seat is a certain gain for the Tories at the next election.

Listen to the Today report here.

Deborah Summers is New Guardian Online Politics Editor

Ros Taylor didn't want the job - she wants "to focus on her writing" - and she is currently ghosting Chris Bryant's diary very well. Think she has it down perfectly, all though it is difficult to capture the arsiness of the man as well as Newsnight did on Tuesday.

Deborah Summers comes from the Scottish Herald. Word is that the Guardian is going to merge the online politics and Westminster Lobby team - so basically the online team will become glorified data entry operators and paid accordingly.

Blair Nostalgia : How Things Have Changed

Blair yesterday reminisced about the bad old 80s, how crap Labour used to be and how things have changed now. Guido dug out his old election leaflet from 1983. Check out that grin!

1. Prescription charges are up 21% since Blair got in, the tax burden is the highest it has ever been after an N.I. rise to pay for the NHS.
2. Blair has the British army garrisoned in Iraq and Afghanistan - costing us tens of billions of an overstretched military budget as the situation worsens.
3. New Labour.
4. £30 Billion.

How things have changed...

Levy's Consolation Prize

The was a touching scene the night before last in Albert Square, Manchester. Lord Levy was consoling a very worried man. Sleazy Levy had one hand on the man's shoulder and the other gripping his elbow as a taxi waited. They must have had the meter on the taxi running for ages since they were having a very animated discussion about something. Levy was quite chipper whereas his friend was disgruntled and worried. "Don't worry; it'll all be all right; don't worry" Levy assured the troubled man.

So far nothing that you have not read already on Iain Dale's blog earlier. Guido believes that the weepy man was none other than Nick Bowes, formerly the Labour Party's Head of High Value Fundraising. Nick is a reader of this blog from his desk at the metal bashers and widget makers trade association the EEF, he is up in Manchester on their behalf.

Guido has emailed Nick to corroborate this piece but has as yet no reply to his questions. Let us hope the detectives got more answers out of him...

See also here and here.

Conference Totty Report : Hucknall Makes His Move

Police : Prescott & Anschutz"Not Enough Evidence for a Prosecution for Corruption"

The Met has decided that their investigation following complaints made to Scotland Yard by Windsor-based businessman George Bathurst and the LibDem's Norman Baker has found "not sufficient basis" for criminal charges. Maybe Guido should send them a copy of the "The Little Red Book of New Labour Sleaze"?

Battersea X-Factor : Michael Crick is in the Building

Ring, Ring, Ring, Ring...
Guido Fawkes: Morning Michael
Michael Crick: Who is that?
GF: Guido
MC: Oh, crikey
GF: Who are you voting for tonight in Battersea?
MC: I don't know yet...
GF: You were at Oxford weren't you, aren't you contemporaneous with any of them? It is an Oxford slate.
MC: Don't think so. Well I have met Louise Bagshawe, she wrote to me outraged after my Jeffrey Archer book came out.
GF: Really?
MC: Yes, took me out to tea at a very grand hotel and told me I'd got it all wrong and how he had been very nice to her when she was starting out.
GF: Ha!
MC: I think she has seen the light now.

Crick lives in the constituency and told Guido he is probably going to take his daughter along. He is "not sure" if he is going to take a camera-crew along with him. He also told Guido that in July 1976 he wrote an article in the New Statesman advocating primaries. Sometimes policy takes time to implement Michael...

Hutton v Brown? What has he got to lose?

He has recently sorted out his contact lenses and started getting his hair done more fashionably. He hasn't endorsed Brown and he is careful in interviews not to do so using a word formula that is in itself revealing. He was challenged in an interview and repeatedly asked if he thought Brown needed a "cabinet-level" challenger. He basically did not say no. Evasive. Unlike Miliband he has not gone on bended knee before Brown and publicly repented for his Blairite sins. He is more Blairite than Blair.

He famously told Nick Robinson that "Brown would be a fucking disastrous PM".

As a result he is not going to feature in a Brown cabinet. After Reid and Johnson he is the next favourite, ahead of Miliband and Hilary Benn. He is surely worth a few quid on Betfair?

Blair's Long Goodbye Speech - Liveblog

Thanks Prezza for sticking New Labour down the throats of the party membership.

Class Cherie joke "At least I don't have to worry about her running off with the bloke next door".

Starts listing how brilliant things are now and how terrible they were in 1997.

Things are really, really brilliant.

Starts on the history of the Labour party. Points out that Council house sales were first proposed by Labour.

Says gossip is more newsworthy than real news. [Too right, check the traffic figures...]

"It is hard to let go" - legacy will be a fourth term victory.

I love you Gordon, I do.

India, China, Terror, Change, Globalisation, Open yet secure, secure but open, openly secure, securely open. Openness. Security. Partners in progress.

New Labour for ever. Ten more years. Thousand year reich.

Nukes now, biosciences, stem-cell research, global warming, clean technology, clean coal, clean up politics, Kyoto to the max.

Skools are brilliant, loads more teachers, Google generation.

NHS reform SMASH THE UNIONS for a fourth term.

Home Office, Civil liberties, lock em up. ID cards will protect you. PRAISES REID. Ooooh.

Terrorists are everywhere. War for Peace. ID cards for Freedom.

I sorted out Belfast, I'll sort out Palestine. I love Dubya.

Joke about the Blair boys canvassing, [See Gordon he connects with people, he can be funny, human, a leader]

No rules in politics. Get after David Cameron's Tories, takes the piss out of non-policies and hug-a-mugger. Accuses Cameron of pandering to anti-Americanism.

Praises Denis Skinner. [Audience ecstatic.] Starts getting misty eyed. Audience silent. We are the world. We saved Africa. Win one more time for me. "You are the future now, make the most of it."

He is just too good. They're going to miss him when he's gone.

Battersea Primary : "Anyone But Ellison"

Guido is fascinated by the line up for the X-factor style Battersea open primary where the voters will get to choose the candidate tomorrow night. It seems a thoroughly healthy democratic development, local people choosing their candidate in public. The choices are a wet, a smoothie, a cutie and Cleverly.

Jane Ellison, studied PPE at Oxford, where she was active in the TRG. Remains active in this ultra-factional and divisive europhile organisation outside the Tory mainstream. Has an expensive looking website where she proudly boasts the endorsement of Gordon Prentice (the Labour MP for Pendle).

Sam Gyimah is an ex-president of the Oxford Union, and centrist Bow Group bigwig. Smart, smooth, successful and a dream candidate for CCHQ .

Louise Bagshawe, novelist fan of Thatcher, went to Oxford. She admits to having joined New Labour and getting suckered by Blair pre-1997. Comes over well on telly.

James Cleverly, army background and works in publishing now. Born and bred Londoner. Was an A-list sceptic who ended up on the A-list.

So the A-list widening of the candidate pool has thrown up three Oxford graduates out of four. Can't help feeling Cleverly might be the best candidate to win the seat, he is after all a Londoner, he comes over as a nice guy and he didn't go to Oxford. He also holds more traditional Conservative views. Ellison could win if she got the votes of Labour supporters to go with the endorsement...

Battersea voters will choose, registration starts tomorrow at 7pm. Each of the candidates will be speaking, and will then be asked questions by Michael Portillo and those present. If you are on the electoral roll in the Battersea constituency you are entitled to attend – to pre-register call 020 8944 0378.

Lie-O-Meter : Cherie v Carolin

Carolin Lotter passes the Lie-O-Meter test so easily. Just check out her explanation here (the video is on the right) compared to Ms Blair's ""Honestly, guys, I hate to spoil your story, but I didn't say it and I don't believe it either.""

Why didn't Bloomberg put her on air immediately instead of hiding her in a hotel room? She is genuine, not quite an ingénue, but she compares very well to the duplicitous, scheming and venal Cherie. That every talking head put up by the Labour party is willing to call Carolin a liar tells us all we need to know about them. Guido hears that there is a second source for the comment who, unlike the security officers, has not signed the Official Secrets Act.

Comment Control

The comments are getting out of control again. Here is a reminder about the policy. Stop boring on. Guido will be deleting liberally and possibly putting comment moderation back on. The constant c**t calling is going to get deleted. We know that already.

The comments are supposed to be entertaining, not ranting witless drivel. Special attention to 'Moko' who complained that he was being "censored" - no you bored Guido senseless. Here is a snapshot of your comment log from yesterday:

So expect to be deleted. Now, where is my coffee?

GO! GO! GOING!

Phase One of the A. B. G. Media Plan is judged a success.

UPDATE : It was Bloomberg's Carolin Lotter who overheard and first reported Cherie's comments. Bloomberg has been given the Labour party media machine's full-on expletives-not-deleted attack in an attempt to force a retraction. None is forthcoming and Bloomberg are standing by their story despite denials from spokesmen. A second story clarifies the exact circumstances:

Mrs. Blair left the conference hall with her security detail as Brown was speaking to the Labour Party conference in Manchester, England. As she walked through a display area outside the auditorium, Brown was on television monitors, extolling the strength and achievements of his relationship with Blair. "Well, that's a lie,'' she said, apparently unaware that she was within earshot of a Bloomberg News journalist.

A spokesman for Blair said the account of his wife's comment "is completely untrue. Mrs. Blair was going round the stalls at the conference center when the chancellor began speaking, and she went immediately to the stall organizer's office to watch the remainder of the speech on TV. She certainly didn't say that.''

Yeah right. A BBC source emails to say that Mrs Blair's hotel is jammed with journos...

Cherie Calls Gordon a Liar

Both ITV and Bloomberg are reporting that Cherie Blair walked out of Brown's speech:

Tony Blair's wife, Cherie, walked out of a speech by U.K. Chancellor of the Exchequer Gordon Brown, accusing him of misleading the public about his relationship with the prime minister.

As Brown told the Labour Party conference in Manchester that it had been a "privilege for me to work for'' the premier, Mrs. Blair left the auditorium saying "well that's a lie.''

You go girl!

Brown Speech Live BlogOpen Comments

Praises Tony as a three times winner in tune with voters.

War-on-Terror, Backs Blair, "Liberty, Democracy and the American Way"

Economic Prudence. Everything is Brilliant we live in a near utopia.

Changing circumstances mean changing policy solutions.

The back story : my dad, "I don't romanticise my upbringing" then does that...

Partnership British Whatever Blah Blah Blah War on Terror Afghanistan Iraq Wherever Hearts and Minds

Yawn Globalisation Education Reforms Aspiration Education, "no child left behind". Education up to 18. 60% rise in spending promised "invest in education."

Energy-saving, green technology global crumbly candy bars job creation climate changing.

$20 billion foreign aid for climate change through World Bank.

Equality citizenship give me my preciousssss.

Minimum wage migration common language British "it is right".

Shared national purpose. Britishness. Proud to be Scottish. Britain Britishness Brit I'm British I am, I am, Roll Out the Barrel me old China

Young people, young idealism, British, I want the preciousssss, infants, maternity benefits, breast is best.

Labour is on your side, more money, more homes, more more, give me the preciousssss

STILL NO LAUGHS

I believe there is nothing we can't achieve as a country blah blah Beveridge blah blah society we the people partnership

Did you know I made the Bank of England independent? Nationalise the banks comrades!

Modernise NHS Best in the World modernise lead the world not standing still

Now about me me me me me

Not a celebrity, in it for the people

Arctic Circle not Artic Monkeys JOKE AT LAST

"I'd relish the opportunity to take on David Cameron and the Conservative party" Give me the precioussss....

Says in a revealing Freudian slip "Noble purses worth fighting for..."

Britain blah blah Great Society.

Blair Erased from Conference Programme?

Sunday Opening Session : Welcoming words from Sir Richard Leese, Leader of Manchester City Council, Renewing the Party for the Future, Party Chair Hazel Blears MP, Scottish Report : First Minister Jack McConnell MSP, Welsh Report : First Minister Rhodri Morgan AM

Monday Prosperity and Work : Secretary of State for Trade and Industry, Alistair Darling MP Warm up act for.. Chancellor of the Exchequer, Gordon Brown MP, Secretary of State for Work and Pensions, John Hutton MP (He who said Brown would be "a fucking disaster as PM"
The Future of Party Funding : NEC Submission to the Hayden Phillips Review GIVE US YOUR TAXES! WE ARE BROKE! LEVY IS GOING TO BE NICKED!

Tuesday Britain in the World : Foreign Secretary, Margaret Beckett MP, Secretary of State for Defence, Des Browne MP
Creating Sustainable Communities : Cabinet Office Minister for Social Exclusion, Hilary Armstrong MP
The Future for Britain’s Communities : Secretary of State for Communities and Local Government, Ruth Kelly MP, Leader of the House of Lords, Valerie Amos

Wednesday : Tackling global poverty : Q&A with international guest speakers - (Clinton is the surprise. Err, was...)
Sustainable Communities : Secretary of State for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs, David Miliband MP, Secretary of State for Transport and Secretary of State for Scotland, Douglas Alexander MP
Improving Health & Education : Secretary of State for Education and Skills MP, Alan Johnson MP, Secretary of State for Health, Patricia Hewitt MP

Thursday Northern Ireland Report : Secretary of State for Northern Ireland, Peter Hain MP
Sustainable Communities : Secretary of State for Culture, Media and Sport, Tessa Jowell MP
Crime & Justice : Home Secretary, Dr John Reid MP
Closing Session : Deputy Prime Minister, John Prescott MP

Wot no Blair? See for yourself.

Hat-tip : Marc Shoffman

Blair's Plue Peter Badge is Coming!

Remember the leaked Gould memo and its suggestion that Blair should do Blue Peter on his farewell tour? How we laughed.

This morning No. 10 and the BBC's Blue Peter launch a contest asking children to suggest film ideas to illustrate what it means to grow up in the UK, with three winners to attend a Downing Street reception.

This gives Guido a chance to invite co - conspirators to play spot- the- Blue- Peter- badge on Zöe Salmon, the show's newest Totty. Valerie Singleton was never this good...

EXCLUSIVE :Luntz to Labour : Reid is the Best Hope

Newsnight's pollster Frank Luntz will have a shock result tonight for Labour contenders. The controversial pollster's findings propelled Cameron's candidacy on the eve of the last Tory conference. BBC editors find out the results in two hours and the viewers tonight.

Gordon Brown's own pollsters will not be surprised - he is deeply disliked by the British people who see his character as fundamentally malign. Luntz's findings back that up.

The shock will be that Alan Johnson, who is seeking to project himself as the smiling housewife's choice, the ex-postie who is a real human, has had no impact with voters. Luntz will show that is John Reid who is by far the voters preference.

UPDATE : Not so exclusive. The Times has the story as well.

UPDATE II : Reid's prices on Betfair have been slashed from 20/1 last night to 6/1 this morning. He is now second favourite.

Shhhh, Don't Mention the Leadership

Every newspaper, broadcaster, blogger and pub bore is discussing the Labour leadership. Every Labour party hack at their conference this week is doing the same in the bars. The conference itself won't be discussing the matter. The Conference Arrangements Committee (CAC) has ruled out of order 17 motions from CLPs on the leadership election. Over at LabourHome they say rightly "If this decision stands, Labour Conference will be the only place in the UK where the issue of the leadership is NOT being discussed".

How Open are Open Primaries?

The previous comments about the Battersea Tory's Portillo-chaired "Open Primary" on Wednesday brought out into the open the widely held belief that they are a fix. Associations can select any candidates they like so long as they are Cameroonie. There is also the repeated allegation that the process is being hidden away from the scrutiny of the media. Why?

Transparency seems the essence of an Open Primary. The process in itself should draw people in to activism. What is going on?

Difficult to price odds on the result because it may succeed in drawing in non-party members. Which means it could depend on the performance on the day. There is always the possibility that Labour or LibDem supporters could organise themselves and vote in support of the dripping wet Jane Ellison. However she may be a bit too left-wing for New Labour supporters.

CCHQ "Concerned", C4 News Bemused

You have to laugh when Channel 4 News describes the not yet launched anti-establishment web-TV channel 18DoughtyStreet.com as "right-wing" (see video report here). It is all relative isn't it?

More 4 News is presented by the daughter of a former Labour party leader, anchorman John Snow was in the 80s a committed supporter of the Marxist Sandinista regime in Nicaragua and his manifest anti-Americanism still persists in all his reporting of the Middle East. C4 News is like an on-air version of the Guardian.

That the traditional broadcasters are sceptical is no surprise, that CCHQ is nervous might bemuse some, in truth they are "concerned" (trans. terrified) that they will permanently and completely lose control of the media message and become unable to easily manipulate their own activists.

Guido predicts that the station will be mocked in the early days as the inevitable technical glitches happen and the production values get established. Then it will become accepted, and finally respected. Remember how the dead-tree-press commentariat sneered at bloggers - before that is they all got themselves blogs? Remember too that More 4 News only gets 60,000 viewers. Guido will wager John Snow that this internet start-up channel will beat that in its first year.

*That C4 News Special on Political Blogging from last week that amused so many of you is here. (Launches only from IE not Firefox, doh!).

UPDATE : Zoe-Anne Phillips is the show's totty - she is no Anne Coulter - she is not even a Tory. Her previous work includes appearing in "Bad Girls".

October Revolution : Broadcast Media Monopoly Dies in 28 Days

Tim Montgomerie's prophecy is coming true. Guido warned them that "The News" will no longer be defined by Big Media. "The News" is whatever is disseminated to a wide audience, Big Media is going to be disintermediated when it falls down because technology has drastically reduced the cost of dissemination. Currently an establishment value-set dominates the broadcast media and consequently political discourse. This is going to be easier to overturn as technology gives citizens the means to challenge the state-controlled media. The dead-tree-press too is getting nervous and testy. You ain't seen nothing yet...

Why Did Oaten go to Bangkok?

Picture credit : Jamie D

If you have unresolved sexual identity problems it is an interesting choice as a place to spend your wedding anniversary. "Just nipping out for a minute darling..."

Please do not discuss Thai politics in the comments, that is what Comment is Free is for, here we seek entertainment at the expense of politicians...

Labour's Last Supper : Friday Caption Competition

Picture Credit : Theo Spark and The Spine Click to enlarge.

Peter Hitchens Complains About "Peter Hitchens"

One of the most amusing (and irritating) comment makers on this blog uses the name Peter Hitchens, he writes from a sometimes witty, sometimes demented hard right-wing position. As does the comment maker. The real other Peter Hitchens has been in touch to complain.* So can the impersonator change his user name, so we can avoid getting into a "no, I am Spartacus" bun fight. In fact Guido would like to invite the impersonator to publicly announce his name change in a post where he can also outline his world-view. Email to sort this out.

UPDATE : Hitchens has a blog! Not a very busy blog, maybe "Peter Hitchens" should go and comment over there....

UPDATE II : Have had second thoughts about getting "Peter Hitchens" to change his user name, can he just put his name in ironic quotation marks at least?

UPDATE III : Peter Hitchens has just emailed from the Mail on Sunday to confirm he really is himself. He thought it all very funny until people began thinking it really was him. Is that clear?

*Presumably from the original Peter Hitchens "Would the person who is abusing my name on this blog please cease doing so? It seems to me to be unoriginal, dishonest and rather cowardly to hide your own opinions behind the name of somebody else. I have written this message because I am beginning to receive messages from people asking if I am connected with the person who calls himself 'Peter Hitchens' on this blog."

Mark Townsend - Fancy a Bet?

Is Mark Townsend a patsy, a liar or an idiot? Is he fit for purpose? You decide. Guido (and his source) would like a little wager Mark...

See also.

UPDATE : Just got off the phone with Mark Townsend and he has bet £20.

Police Confirm Sir Christopher Evans Arrested

Multi-millionaire donor Christopher Evans is a long time Tony Crony. Sir Christopher is already under investigation by the Serious Fraud Office, which is looking into claims about the misappropriation of £2.5 million of company funds. ++ Developing ++

TIP TO PHOTO-EDITORS : Sir Chris unveiled Labour's science manifesto in April during last year's general election campaign standing next to Tony.

Battersea X-Factor Candidates for Open Primary

If Guido understands this right, anyone who lives in Battersea, will be able to go along and help choose the local Tory candidate, including Martin Linton the Labour MP.

Jane Ellison, Sam Gyimah, Louise Bagshawe, James Cleverly - you choose who you want - it is (as you can see) an all Cameroonie choice.

Kennedy's Speech Rehearsal

On balance his speech yesterday went down well. Journalists were amused to see that in an apposite schedule clash, Ming had chosen to visit a non-alcoholic juice bar when the speech was to be delivered. This was scheduled after Charlie had indicated that he would not be willing to shake hands or embrace Ming on stage for a "we're all friends now" photo-op.

Fearing "Ming Snubs Kennedy Speech" stories, Ming's juice trip was re-arranged and Ming was propped up in the front row to be seen cheering enthusiastically by the assembled photographers and cameramen.

To hear a covert recording from the night before of Charlie's speech rehearsal click