Remember Fiona Jones' Indecent Proposal?

Fiona Jones, a former Labour MP, said last year that a senior Labour party politician, currently a cabinet minister, tried to seduce her by making her an age-old offer: "Do you know what I can do for you?"

Fiona Jones lost her seat in the 2001 general election. She has threatened to "blow the lid off New Labour's female-friendly image and tell all about the astonishing sex-for-jobs culture in the Commons".

So a former Labour party MP publicly claimed that a cabinet minister offered her promotion in return for sex. How many quietly accepted the proposition and in return were rewarded with promotion?

Four Shags (But Still Counting)

Sarah Bissett-Scott, says she had a two-year affair with Prezza twenty years ago. It did her career no harm, she stood a few years later (1992) as a Labour candidate and now she is a "planning consultant". An area of lobbying where it must be handy to have shagged the Minister with the power to ultimately determine the outcome for your clients. She has a special interest in "Affordable Housing", which falls under the remit of Prezza and is a government priority.

Her admission has provoked Prescott into whining "It is totally unacceptable for the Press to be trawling through lists of people, some of whom I hardly know, members of staff and family friends, offering large sums of money, making allegations without substance and major intrusions into their lives, which I totally reject."

Not sure what he means by that, but think it means he doesn't like it. Tough, looks like it is open season now, payback time for his years of hypocrisy.

Prezza Muddles Up Mistresses

There is a rumour going around in press circles that Prezza, alerted in advance by a journalist that he was going to be exposed, confessed to Pauline about the wrong mistress. He mangles the English language, so muddling up his mistresses would be no surprise.

Prezza Affair - Blow by Blow

• "Tracey also revealed how she performed oral sex on him Monica Lewinsky-style in his Whitehall office." "Sometimes they did it behind the desk, other times just inside the door."
• "The secret affair only ended in the LAST MONTH, not in 2004, as the Deputy Prime Minister claimed."
• Carried on having secret sex sessions with Prezza until just a few weeks ago. "Only stopped when they were rumbled."
• "He would grope her when she went into his office for diary meetings."
• Sex in the Admiralty boardroom, a government conference room. At it in his office at the Cabinet Office, at Admiralty House and at Dorneywood, his official country residence.
• Tracey says he has had other mistresses.
• Prezza lying when he claimed it ended two years ago.

Cherie's Papal Protocal Gaffe

The Queen is apparently amused by Cherie's stiff leg syndrome, which is obviously the reason she is unable to curtsey before her. Hilary Clinton, when First Lady, quite properly did not curtsey to the Queen either. Guido respects them for their republicanism. However, surely as a practising Catholic, Cherie is willing to show the proper respect to His Holiness?

Tradition requires Catholic woman to wear modest black. Pictured on the left is Queen Sophia of Spain exercising her Privilege du blanc as a Catholic monarch, a privilege conferred by the papacy on the historical Catholic monarchies, the Queens of Belgium and the Grand Duchesses of Luxembourg having been the other royalty granted the white privilege. Cherie appears to have seized for herself the privilege of Queens.

John Reid's Hash Hush-Up

They kept it quiet for a few days, but yet another Blairite has been politically and personally humiliated. It is becoming noticeable how it always seems to be Blairite loyalists that are making the (bad) news. Almost as if it was an organised dirty tricks operation...

A little bit of Afghan hash is hardly anything to get bothered about. Guido's good friend got 24 months for the posession of 23 grammes he brought back from Morocco, (for a first offence). So on that basis, time per grammes wise, Reid would only get a month. You know how it is, you go on holiday, backpacking in Afghanistan, or even visiting the troops, and bring back a little souvenir given to you by a local...

The excuses are:

• it was "minuscule", weighing less than one gram and with a street value of 85p.
• it could have been there for up to 20 years.
• he was not in the house at the time it was found and was said by sources to have "no idea" it was in a guest area."
• "hundreds" of people are said to have been in it over the years.

Mr Reid can not be accused of hypocrisy, he was the Cabinet's most ardent opponent of a smoking ban, man.

UPDATE : Two months ago cannabis campaigner Jeffrey Ditchfield, was arrested and charged with sending drugs to defence minister John Reid. Coincidence? More here. Hat-tip : Onan

That Cook v Currie Cat-Fight

Woman's Hour was brilliant yesterday, Edwina Currie and Margaret Cook on political affairs. Edwina revealed that besides John Major, she was at it with a kinky slob. Edwina gave some old fashioned advice to Mrs Cook. Mrs Cook did not take it well. Listen here (mp3)

Blogging Nick Robinson AutoCorrects

Nick Robinson is a reader of this blog and took the hint and has clarified his "bombshell" comments. He doesn't link to this blog in his blog, yet quotes from it, a major breach of netiquette you might say, but Guido is forgiving. Since the Ashley Cole case the Dead Tree Press (and the broadcast media) have become nervous about referring to, or directly linking readers and listeners to writ-risky websites. Hence the vague references to "political websites" rather than Guido or Iain Dale. Journalists are actually ringing Guido up for quotes, which they then attribute to an unnamed "controversial political website".

We need a better legal precedent, media lawyers are scaring media executives into restricting journalists from referring to risk taking bloggers. Hence the ridiculous situation with so-called blogs being established by the old media which don't allow comments (Trevor) or don't allow links to other websites (Adam Boulton). The Telegraph and the Guardian at least have proper blogs. The former is as boring as hell (comments : 0), the latter is noisier (comments : mad).

And finally, as to the question most journos have called to ask: no, lawyers have not been in touch. So go on, do it...

Prescott Plays Hypocritical Happy Families

Guido hears that Prezza would be wise to hide this weekend's Mail on Sunday from Pauline. According to a usually reliable source, mistress #2 was approached by another tabloid newspaper about her relationship with hypocritical Prezza. She threatened to sue if they published...

Why Do Patricia Hewitt and Rosie Winterton Lie to Us?

In 1998 Labour celebrated the 50th anniversary of the creation of the NHS, it was a cause for national celebration and tax rises for all.

Such was the importance of this date that in 1998 New Labour even minted a new commemorative 50 pence piece for us to keep and treasure.

So why are these two health ministers holding a cake celebrating the 60th anniversary of the founding of the NHS 8 years later? The press release from last week accompanying this picture says "Rosie Winterton MP and Patricia Hewitt recently met in Westminster to celebrate the sixtieth anniversary of the NHS. " If they lie at this meeting, what else will they lie about? Clearly you can't believe a word they say.

Let Loose the Dogs of Law

The Search for Willie Horton

The Sunday papers are desperately searching for Britain's Willie Horton and they have over a thousand potential possibilities.

For those who don't know who Guido is talking about, Willie Horton was a murderer released by Michael Dukakis when he was the leftish governor of Massachusetts, he went on to rob and rape and was used by Dubya's daddy in TV adverts for his successful campaign for the Presidency. If the press find Britain's own Willie Horton, Clarke is finished. Bookies are not accepting bets on him going.

UPDATE : Guido mistakenly identified Indrit Krasniqi, as one of the 1,023 criminals allowed to roam free in Britain. He is to be jailed for life for murder and kidnap tomorrow at Reading Crown Court. He is a nasty piece of work, but not Britain's Willie Horton - as many better informed comment makers pointed out to Guido.

Second Prescott Mistress

Should Guido publish the name of the other mistress?

Publish and be damned. It is a private matter for him and Pauline. Only if he has abused his position. Only if she is a public figure like a politician.

View Result

Proud to be a Chameleon?

The ChameleonArmy.com was launched yesterday with a £2,000 prize fund to engage the creative minds of Britain's conservative movement (and anyone wanting to earn a few quid). They want ideas for mini-videos and viral email campaigns that can be used "against Labour or any other enemy of conservatism". They're looking for humour and bite. Guido reckons they should wear this rather cool T-shirt with pride. Available here.

John Prescott "Sex God"

Jokey badges produced for the Labour Party spring conference seem strangely prescient now don't they? According to The Mirror this morning his mistress Tracey Temple

... was rumbled by her trucker boyfriend when she began blurting out Two Jags’ name in her SLEEP.

Shocked Barrie Williams, 46, told how he heard her describe sex acts with the Deputy PM. He said: “My blood ran cold.”

Barrie went on: “I’d be woken up by Tracey’s ecstatic remarks about Prescott’s abilities between the sheets.”

Guido understands the words "big boy" were often used.

Oaten Has Been Dumped on Enough

Thumbing through my copy of Hello magazine my attention is drawn to Belinda Oaten's interview. My first thought is why? Then, how much?

Guido thinks it was inadvisable, the Oatens need to put all that behind them and move forward in private not on the pages of Hello.

Guido will not be making any tasteless jokes at Mark Oaten's expense.

Guido's Advice to Newbie Blogger

Chatted with bloggers last night at the Adam Smith Institute's Dead Trees and Pyjama Kids bash. Gave some advice to newbie blogger Trevor, explained to him that proper bloggers have comments and links. "Links?" he asked quizically. Guido thinks Trevor could probably make a success of it, forinstance he seemed pretty well informed about Prescott's mistresses. Did tell him that now he is blogging, my plan was to set up a mass market tabloid with tits. It is only fair.

Afterwards Tim Worstall bought a round for everyone, Guido ungratefully said "that will give you enough material for a new book" and got bitch-slapped down by the man single-handedly leading the seventies fashion revival. All in all, the creme de la creme of the British blogging world were there to hear the Fink outline his fears for the Dead Tree Slaughterers. Mike Smithson of politicalbetting.com swapped tips with Tim Montgomerie of ConservativeHome.com whilst Perry de Havilland of Samizdata and Brian Micklethwait talked of podcasts and armed insurrection. Zack Exley's nightmares were gathered in that room.

C'mon Nick, What Bombshell?

Nick Robinson blogs that Prescott's mistress was "a bombshell" to his family and colleagues. Bullshit Nick. It was hardly a bombshell to the lobby or his colleagues. Trevor Kavanagh admits he knew of Prezza's serial adultery, half the less connected Westminster village from the lowliest research assistant and up knew.

If the political editor of the BBC finds this a bombshell, he is either being disingenuous or is in the wrong job.

The Whole Truth and Nothing But...

Named Day Written question to: Prime Minister for answer on 02/05/2006:

To ask the Prime Minister how many members of his private office have been interviewed by the Metropolitan Police Specialist Crimes Directorate in connection with investigations relating to the Honours (Prevention of Abuses) Act 1925 and will he make a statement?

The quietly industrious Stewart Jackson MP is asking interesting questions, Growling Chris Grayling and Nigel Evans also keep at it. The PM just says "no running commentary". What he means is "no one is on the run", yet.

Dave the Chameleon II is Available!

It is mostly a repeat. It also again re-inforces the "Change" meme that is Cameron's central message. Half of it could have been produced by CCHQ. Exactly as Guido predicted in February.

Go here to watch.

UPDATE : Look out Labour, The Chameleon Army is online and on the march.

Podcast with John Bercow MP

Uploaded over at GuidoandtheMonkey.

Murdoch's Sun Abandons Blair

Guido said some time ago that it is axiomatic that Murdoch only likes to back winners. Sun reader Tim Ireland has noticed the tit-tonic plates of page 3 political commentary are slowly moving. Page 3 is, believe it or not, a key place where the Murdoch message is transmitted and the message clearly is not good for Blair, or Blairites like Charles Clarke.

Gordon is still getting the personality cult treatment - for now. Cameron is not liked by Irwin Stelzer (Murdoch's emmissary), but the drip-drip of news slanting is neutral for Dave. Andrew Neil reckons that this is the crunch year for The Sun, either it backs Dave this year or sticks with Gordon. We shall see...

Who Said This?

"They are up to their necks in sleaze. The best slogan he could think up for their conference next week is Life's better under the Tories. Sounds to me like one of Steven Norris's chat up lines. Can you believe that this lot is in charge? Not for long, eh? Then after 17 years of this Tory government, they have the audacity to talk about morality. Did you hear John Major on the Today programme? - calling for ethics to come back into the political debate? I'm told some Tory MPs think ethics is a county near Middlesex. It's a bit hard to take: John Major - ethics man. ... For too many Tories, morality means not getting caught. Morality is measured in more than just money. It's about right and wrong. We are a party of principle. We will earn the trust of the British people. We've had enough lies. Enough sleaze."

He was on the moral high ground once. Perhaps Pauline will quote it to him.

Hat-tip : Iain Dale

Question of Timing

As the NHS stumbles from one funding disaster to another sacking thousands of nurses, a rather ill-timed press release arrives in Guido's email from Rosie Winterton MP (Minister of State for Health Services) and Patricia Hewitt, the Secretary of State for Health. This week sees the 60th Birthday for the NHS and they have baked a cake. Hope it tastes better than the usual hospital food.

Is it really a good time to be celebrating and sending out smiling pictures, with the current news? You would think that they would want to keep a low profile.

Two Jags Has Two Three Shags

The Humberside Humper has been exposed for having a two-year affair with a secretary, Tracey Temple. Guido knows that where there is one blousy mistress, there is often another...

Inquiring minds should be looking for a local grammar school girl (this would be prior to him becoming DPM). The girl has since done very well for herself.

More revelations to follow...

Hemming Can Save NHS £500m

Guido interviewed John Hemming and came away impressed with the sharper than average MP. So it comes as no surprise that he has spotted a way to save the NHS £500 million and balance the books at a stroke.

The LibDem MP has noticed that when drugs go off patent the generic alternatives become available for a fraction of the old rip-off price. Looking at only three drugs, he has identified savings of £500m, but there are plenty more Big Pharma rip-offs. If the NHS is looking to save money, sourcing drugs more cheaply is a good place to start.

Coincidentally, Pfizer, the most rapacious profitable pharmaceutical corporation in the world, recently gave £40,000 to Progress, the ultra-Blairite faction organising operation. That should help keep this eminently sensible policy off Blair's reform agenda.

Euan Pissed Again

Euan is having fun in Washington and Guido is growing in respect for Tony's playboy son. However, when out drinking this weekend he had to apologise to staff after being caught trying to set fire to the underside of his bar-table with candles. "Look, I'm a straight kinda boy"... Do they have ASBOs in Washington?

He was in Washington's Madam's Organ bar (rated one of the best in America by Playboy magazine). He spent the evening ogling cowgirl-costumed girls dancing on the bar-top Coyote Ugly style. Euan stumbled into a taxi later having failed to pull.

Domestic Disaster

Guido quaffed pink champagne at the launch party for Madsen Pirie's new book How to Win Every Argument: The Use and Abuse of Logic.

When the champagne ran out Guido went on for a few Guinesses before winding his way back home. Mrs Fawkes was not best pleased. Mercilessly unamused she kicked a hungover husband out of bed at 5.30am to deal with a teething, screaming baby Fawkes. Mrs Fawkes then continued to berate Guido (before breakfast) for snoring, failing to sleep on the sofa and I think (though it is a little unclear) my role in the Middle East peace process or something. Generally adding to Guido's throbbing headache.

As she was going out the door she picked up the book, looked at me and put it in her handbag. As if she bloody well needed it...

Educational Failure

The frankly shocking discovery that this blog is being used as an educational aid for A-Level politics students is proof, if proof were ever needed, that state education is failing our children.

Hat-tip : Beau Bo D’Or

"Conservative Cameron" versus "Cameron's Conservatives"

Mike Smithson over at politicalbetting.com has some insightful advice for Labour on Cameron. Basically they should attack Cameron for being a Conservative, not Cameron's Conservatives. "Brand Cameron" is actually quite popular with the public, generating by association a 1% to 5% uplift in polls for the Tories. The bike riding, cuddly blue/green chameleon reinforces his image, emphasising how different he is from the past - a poll published in the Mail on Sunday suggested the video made 1 in 7 people more likely to vote for him and only 1 in 20 less likely to vote for him - disastrous for those who conceived the plan.

"Dave the Chameleon" is Gordon Brown's idea, and it looks like a dud. It is widely accepted that the negative campaign is reminiscent of Demon Eyes, clever, but resonating only with activists. In retrospect the attempt to demonise Blair reinforced the perception that the Tories were out of touch, particularly as the public perception was that Blair was in fact young, optimistic and idealistic, family man - not some socialist devil.

Labour need to tarnish Cameron with the Tory's baggage and history. Before they succeed in that Cameron needs to rebrand his party as Cameron's Conservatives, changed, shiny and new. Labour's chameleon campaign to some extent (the latest polling reinforces this) plays to that agenda. The Tories on the other hand need to blame Brown for everything that has gone wrong in Britain since 1997 - particularly higher taxes and unreformed public services.

Incidentally, Guido has reversed his bet on Blair going in September (Betfair's Blair Switch Project). Euan Blair telling George Osborne at the Washington Embassy that his father was going to stay until the end, is as close to the horse's mouth as it gets. Guido reckons Gordon hasn't got the balls to take Blair head on.

Access to What?

Tonight, at the Travellers Club, the Boy George will host a dinner for Tory donors. A bit of schmoozing before they get hit-up for some cash. Nothing unusual. Except Labour spin merchants were shopping this story around Fleet Street on Friday trying to spin it as proof that the Tories are guilty of influence peddling and cash for access. Marie Woolf at the Indy on Sunday bit and the Sunday Times' Atticus column filled an inch with it.

They are getting desperate in Old Queen Street if a chicken supper with Osborne is being spun us a scandal. Influence peddling? Squeaky George Osborne? What bloody influence does the boy have? Access to what? He can't even access decent coke nowadays.

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Preview of Labour's Next "Dave the Chameleon" Video

Eclectech has hacked into the Labour party's server and downloaded this footage from their next hard-hitting party political broadcast.

As you can see it once again focuses on their popular policies and enriches our democracy through reasoned debate of the highest order. Or maybe not.

Polly Hypocrisy

From: Guy Fawkes guido.fawkes@order-order.com
To: polly.toynbee@guardian.co.uk
Date: Apr 21, 2006 10:42 AM
Subject: How much do you earn per annum?

From: polly.toynbee@guardian.co.uk
To: Guy Fawkes
Date: Apr 21, 2006 12:41 PM
Subject: Re: How much do you earn per annum?

Why should I tell you, who don't even give your true name or address? An organisation has to go public all together.

From: Guy Fawkes guido.fawkes@order-order.com
Date: Apr 21, 2006 12:52 PM
Subject: Re: How much do you earn per annum?
To: "polly.toynbee@guardian.co.uk"

Err, because you wrote an article headlined "Throw open the books so
that we can see what everyone earns" stating that "trust and social
glue are corroded by pay secrecy".

And because, as you wrote, "the highly paid command the citadels of
public debate, they grossly distort the true picture of the way most
people live now. Making sense of reward is difficult - but the
debate has to begin by throwing open the books. It wouldn't hurt much if everyone had to do it together."

Polly Toynbee is, Guido understands, on the books for £140,000 a year at The Guardian.

UPDATE : The Sunday Telegraph is after her as well.

Lord Levy's Tragic Fire Loss

Peter Oborne in the Spectator tells us of a tragedy that has befallen the Sleaze Master General:

...it emerges that the Marylebone offices of the New Labour treasurer, Lord Levy, have been devastated by a mysterious fire. This took place last November, well before the police investigation began and around the time the House of Lords Appointments Commission raised the first queries concerning Tony Blair’s list. When I rang Downing Street for a reassurance that no papers relevant to the police investigation had been destroyed, I was informed that ‘that is a matter for Lord Levy’.

What a tragic loss that must be for Lord Levy, no doubt losing important documents will complicate things for those trying to piece together his dealings. Guido thinks that the fire stinks, and that the smell isn't smoke.

LibDem's Biggest Donor Arrested

As Iain Dale and Yellow Peril flagged up three hours ago, the Press Association is now confirming that Michael Brown, who gave a dodgy £2.4 million donation to the LibDems, has been arrested in Spain to face extradition on fraud charges. These mugshots date back to when he skipped bail in Florida.

So that explains the LibDems failure to make capital out of the Loans for Lordships scandal.

The Dead Tree Press is getting beat by bloggers time and time again, it has taken a newspaper two weeks to catch up on the Airmiles bullshit spin highlighted by Guido here and here as well as on Blairwatch. Are political journalists getting lazier?