Lembit Lobbied for Cheeky Girls
Guido didn't bother running with the Lembit / Cheeky Girl story this week. The satire / reality continuum seemed to have warped too much.
However it appears that there is a political angle, Lembit has tried to fast-track the Romanian's visa process. The Cheeky Girls are in Britain illegally - that would make it illegal to hire
them as well. Which Guido understands has been possible in the past...UPDATE : Isn't it an offence to offer an inducement to an MP? Do they live in his constitutency?
UPDATE II : Machiavelli points out in the comments:
The Code of Conduct for Members of Parliament:"Holders of public office should not place themselves under any financial or other obligation to outside individuals or organisations that might influence them in the performance of their official duties."
"Holders of public office have a duty to declare any private interests relating to their public duties and to take steps to resolve any conflicts arising in a way that protects the public interest."
123 comments:
No favours, just slightly faster.
The weather girl- cheeky girl manoeuvre is gratifyingly exotic even for a Liberal Democrat. Worth a bit of fast-tracking I'd say. And why is he called Lembit? I think we should be told/
Two questions -
(1) Is it illegal to sleep with an illegal immigrant?
(2) How long after she gets her visa will she dump him?
(3) Thought of a third - will he crawl back to the weather girl?
(4) And a fourth - does he have a glass coffee table?
No he didn't.
Besides, give it a couple of months and they will be part of the EU and entitled to be here.
I still want the spare cheeky girl and I am prepared to move to Rye.
What's the point of raising this story if you're not going to publish pictures of the beautiful, talent-challenged publicity-seeker concerned?
I mean Gabriela, of course.
I published pictures!!!
The other one's apparently got her sights on David Blunkett.
Cmon men,
At least 'ees not an arse bandit
An alcoholic whore monger is far more to me votin' taste
Are the Lib Dems a political party or part of some ongoing comedy stunt for a reality TV programme. Doing a "Lembit" is just to test how far they can push the comedy before we suss out that it and the Lib Dems are an elaborate joke
how can these tv shows use the services of the cheeky girls if they are illegally here? i am perplexed (ain't difficult).
BTW I was hoping to see an all in tag-match between the Cheeky Girls and The Weather Girl...with Kent Walton on commentary. Pretty disappointed not to log into this thread and not see The Weather Girl in all-weather shiny black pvc and boots, whipping up a storm.
If they don't pay the Cheeky Girls for their appearances it tends to be ok. Surely the Cheeky girl would go for someone with some real power?
davidcracknellsonlymate As opposed to vice versa...
Someone in Lemsip Toothpick's office must fucking hate him to leak this to Guido...
I have the other cheeky girl in my impenetrable mountain hideaway.
She is being forced, at this moment, to comply with all my twisted needs - but she is a brave girl...She stayed perfectly calm until Claire Short came into her cell.
Muwwauauahahahah!
If they are self-employed - which many 'artists' are - they are entitled to work in the UK. In 11 days they will also be in the EU and so entitled to move freely although some work restrictions will remain
It's very different if you're a backbench MP writing letters through the correct channels, to if you are the Home Secretary abusing the inclination of the correct channels to do exactly what you say.
My eastern European sources tell me they are decent working girls.
Cheeky Girls - Touch My Bum. A first for lembit, no doubt. Good pull though matey - thumbs up!
Fatty2Shags wants to know if the other one wants to do some work in his office. It means she will have to use her head.
I reckon the relationship will last about as long into 2007 as Charles Kennedy's leadership lasted into 2006.
"Lembit saves Romanian girl from loose asteroid"
Morgan Le Fay hurls thunderbolts at weather map
Touch my bum!
Do it Lemsip! Now!
http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d59/Rick_1978/1332551044_l.jpg
Or as long as a bottle of scotch stays in Kennedy's cupboard
The Code of Conduct for Members of Parliament:
"Holders of public office should not place themselves under any financial or other obligation to outside individuals or organisations that might influence them in the performance of their official duties."
"Holders of public office have a duty to declare any private interests relating to their public duties and to take steps to resolve any conflicts arising in a way that protects the public interest."
Do these rules cover liaisons with ladies of an Ipswich persuasion?
Come on, I'll start it of...
There was a Taff called Lembit,
Lembit's just confused. Is he Welsh? Irish? Estonian? Or just a plonker? And is he teaching her to play the mouth organ?
Who most people thought was a right tit
If he does crawl back to his weather girl, he'll no doubt be met by a severe cold front. Precipitation within sight!
javelin said...
(4) And a fourth - does he have a glass coffee table?
Do bears shit in the woods, do rentboys shit on LibDem MP's,has Mrs. Oaten really forgiven her husband, is he really considering standing at the next election?
He got off with a Cheeky
Which looked a bit sneaky
And landed himself in some deep shit
There.
Far more acceptable than the Queen of Rio importing his little samba rentboy. What exactly is his immigration status by the way? How's his studying going?
Is a girlfriend an obligation?
Sorry that might have been a typo of mine - should it have been "arising" or "arousing"?
"UPDATE : Isn't it an offence to offer an inducement to an MP? Do they live in his constitutency?"
No, they live in Hastings and Rye (represented by Michael Foster)
Graham E said...
Far more acceptable than the Queen of Rio importing his little samba rentboy. What exactly is his immigration status by the way? How's his studying going?
Like Mandy, my brothers a shit-stabber and has a Brazilian on the go. It's a con, Said student makes a fortune as a dancer, none of which the tax man sees.
I object to the term shit-stabber. I believe the gays prefer the term 'marmite miner'.
BIOGRAPHY
Arnold Baggins has been the Monster Raving Loony Party candidate for the Asteroid Belt since 1937 and is the party's spokesman on heavenly bodies.
He was born in error in March 1901, the son of three people, who all denied any connection with him. He attended the Bogatallclough Primary School, and once read a comic without moving his lips. While there he was president of the Pupils' Liberation Front and a member of the national executive thereof.
Arnold was elected to the Monster Raving Loony Party Federal Executive Committee in 1933 and to Batley City Council in 1936. He stood in Batley Central in the 1937 General Election and nearly got run over. In September 1941 he was chosen as candidate for Swaziland to replace the retiring MP, P. J. Insanity, and he was elected as MP for Swaziland at the General Election of May 1945.
On election he became the party spokeman on heavenly bodies.
Arnold works hard to raise issues affecting Swaziland in Parliament, including the future of his own pension. Locally he has pressed for long-term measures to combat risks of the country going bankrupt and leaving him poor. In the last Parliament Arnold was a member of the Insanity Select Committee in the House of Commons, raising issues such as flying saucers, flying sauces, and the sources of flying saucers. He has also tried to become better and better every day and in every way. In the debates on pensions, Arnold took a prominent part as a member of the "Give Us More" Group, whose proposals aimed to mortgage the future prospects of our children and grandchildren, anything, so long as MPs got plenty of money.
On April 13th 1951 Arnold came close to death when he mistakenly believed there might be a shortfall in his pension. This near-death experience has caused him to take a keen interest in the London Stock Exchange, of which he is a member. Despite the accident, he continues with his interest in pensions. Arnold also visits ladies of easy virtue and lobbies for higher MPs' pensions when occasion arises.
He is 106.
Rickytshirt said...
I object to the term shit-stabber. I believe the gays prefer the term 'marmite miner'.
I do apologise. I'll refer to the uphill farmers as marmite miners in future.
Shes ugly, but Christ I so would.
And twins , does it get any better?
ID bury my **** in that tight little *** then squirt super glue all over myself so that I was stuck and she couldnt shake me off.
the transylvanian minx , Im better looking that Lmbit (who isnt)and hung like a donkey , wheres my cheeky girl? Wheres the social justice?
Given the choice between a plumb-in-the-mouth-smooth-as-an-eel-in-a-bucket-of-snot forecaster and the chance of seeing if the curtain matches the red pelmet on this specimen, I'd take the latter every time, thanking God we don't yet have MRGC (multi-resistant gonnococcus [the clap]).
Lembie baby - just say "Ta!" to penicillin, and carry on.
DAVE HAS ANSWERED - no mention of who the lenders are.
Ahem. From the BBC:
"A Lib Dem spokesman said: "Lembit acted with total propriety with regard to this matter.
"He did what any MP would do, and referred the matter to the appropriate Member of Parliament.
"At no stage did he lobby anybody on this matter. He simply referred the issue through the relevant and proper channels."
Yet you somehow turn that into saying he did lobby?
He lobbied for his girlfriend.
Reinaldo, Queen Peter's personal cabana boy, must have a PhD by now.
Now this is what we want from Guido
political Sleeze and Eastern European trollops getting their kit off, I have a semi on from looking at that photo.
From what I can tell she has dyed her hair the same colour as Iain Dales...
Chernobyl red
A little NSFW...
Gargoyle-face Limprik has just been getting pulled apart over visas for cheeky slappers by John Pieenarse on BBC radio 5. Something to do with bending the rules a la Blindgit apparently.
Attention-seeking, arrogant fool Limprik's been taken for a ride methinks and will soon have to pay for it.
Ming may have to be merciless.
"Limprik's been taken for a ride"
Anon, you do not speak with forked tongue.
just before guido pulls it (fnar fnar)
Popbitch mentioned that a certain pair of singing twins were willing to entertain generous businessmen for a grand , full penetration ,no oral ,rubber must be worn.
I have to say I had considered it, not bad way to drop a grand.
That's a picture of the wrong twin!
kimberley quim said...
just before guido pulls it (fnar fnar) Popbitch mentioned that a certain pair of singing twins were willing to entertain generous businessmen for a grand , full penetration ,no oral ,rubber must be worn.
I like the Beverley Sisters, but think there was no need to reveal such behaviour at this stage of their lives.
The only thing Lembit lobbied for was a Legover. He is most correct and proper politician like all Lib Dems and their donors. Our cheeky girl has a touch of the Heather Mills McCartney and Pamela Bordes about her. Shag now and Pay Later.
"Far more acceptable than the Queen of Rio importing his little samba rentboy. What exactly is his immigration status by the way? How's his studying going?"
He got British citizenship last year (or earlier this year...I can't recall...it was in the papers).
As for his studying, I think to have read in the Mail that he had a career change and so after having studied oriental languages, he decided he wanted to become a nurse afterall!
You're all just jealous because Lembit's pouring the pork. Congratulations to him.
No more the trout-mouthed weatherwoman, he's got himself a prime slice of Euro-pert.
On the political side, he's managed to get his party back in the headlines. Maybe the other cheeky girl should shack up with Menzies Campbell?
Why didn't we see this story coming?
Cheeky Xmas everyone.
"ohh baby baby underneath missletoe
oop’s baby baby very sexy in the snow
yeah baby baby take the rains and hold on tight
this could be your lucky night
every body come together
it's a hot hot christmas night
make you magic last forever
have a cheeky christmas time
rum bum bum x2
oh ha oh ah
rum bum bum x2
oh ha oh ah hoo
come and get your christmas prese
close your eyes and make a wish
if you’ve been a really good boy
I will be your special dish
ohh baby baby underneath missletoe
oop’s baby baby very sexy in the snow
yeah baby baby take the rains and hold on tight
this could be your lucky night"
My esteemed colleague Dr Crackers,
As a medical professional you will no doubt have noted that the hardened slut in the photograph has two legs and therefore in no way has anything in common with monopod harlot Heather (I'll suck your cock for a grand Abdul ,why ay the lads) Mills McCartney.
Anymore of this shoddy Diagnosis and I am afraid I will have to report you to the GMC (yet again)
Mr Hitchens, in your post of 5.07 you reported what you misheard someone say.... I think the probable phrase was 'he sung like a donkey' ;-)
Oh don't be daft. Lembit is just a man. And kind of single too. Or at least he is now. He can't possibly be blamed for letting his "heart" rule his head when she is willing to wear pants like those.
Having it Away with a Minger,
No Visa for to Stay,
The Asteroid Exploder
is Having it his Way,
To perform here not legal
But Sian he not wed
So Mark Oaten's Minder
I allowing have his head.
Llembit hair, it not fall out
When with me, it more curl:
Who needs a Pole dancer
when you got Cheeky Girl?
Opik he totally hetero
This Lib Dem dig no shite,
In some regions, this Donkey
Sure aint no Microlite!
Apparently, Guido, the photo you have there is being rushed out all over the country with "Can you give what it takes to be a Lib Dem MP?" on the back. Recruitment is already into hundreds of thousands. Meanwhile, Montgomeryshire Lib Dems have issued a proclaimation: "Please, Cheeky girl hold our bum."
Dr Quim
Your comment on my diagnosis - Cheeky Girl does LegsOver whereas Lady Heather is restricted to LegOver is helpful and I shall be sending a note to Lancet on your observation. Many thanks. GMC cannot strike me from Register. Would not accept my degree issued by Lumumba School of Tropical Medicine in Stanleyville as it was then known.
Her face looks a bit peaky in that picture. Has she just learnt of the Lib Dems tax plans?
She should have her own sign
"Lib Dems quimming here"
My God Lemsip I didn't know your asteroids were that big!
Dear god in heaven.
Never mind her hair... the colour of her face doesn't match that of her body. And I bet those pants are very itchy.
Miaow.
and is that a nipple I see?
Margorie
she does rather have that sprayed on face look doesnt she?
The spray gun having been set to "whore"
The photo's from Theo Spark, a photoshop combo of Mark Oaten's body with a Cheeky Girl boat.
And what haircut did she ask for, exactly, at the salon? Fraggle?
"Lembit has tried to fast-track the Romanian's visa process."
What's the point? The Home Office are so ****in slowand useless that Romania will be a full member of the EC long before anyone gets to turf her out of bed with the dawn knock.
A not very good bit of photoshop. You can even see the joins where the head meets the body, it makes her look like she's got more chins than a chinese telephone directory. Either that or she's been sunbathing in a balaclava. My guess is it's Reinaldo from the neck down.
What if Lembit's cheeky girl was given a visa, but the other cheeky girl wasn't? They could hardly be expected to go their separate ways - no, it just can't happen. It would be a crime to split them up. Unless Lembit is expediting both visa applications.......
Will Limpit survive this scandal?
"Call me Dave" has replied to the question he wished Guido had asked him on WebCameron. How about a follow-up question asking why he won't give a straight answer to a straight question?
His large 'majority' is rising as wee speak!
If you continue to insult him, I gather he will 'Turn the other Cheeky'!
"he won't give a straight answer to a straight question?"
God not ANOTHER well-bearded Gay, surely?!?
Let's all be truthful about it, if it was offered to you, you'd give it a go.
Personally I'd rather be the meat in cheeky sandwich, or as they say in retail BOGOF
dr crackers sexologist(ret) said...
... Our cheeky girl has a touch of the Heather Mills McCartney and Pamela Bordes about her ...
She has removable legs and likes Ugandan affairs with Sunday Times' editors?
As an aside I wonder what the Labour 'Cheeky Girls' equivalent would be? For some dreadful reason I can't get the notion of Hazel Blears and Ruth Kelly in brief black underwear out of my mind. I need a large Hendricks G&T badly.
Julian, you need to be committed to Broadmoor.
Julian
Your case is beyond me. I shall have to refer you to Masters and Johnson (both decd)
Yours etc
Crackers t/a Sex Tips for the Elderly
Former Lord Advocat arrested
-Egg on face or has he flipped?
Scotland's former top law officer, Lord Fraser of Carmyllie, was arrested after an incident on board a flight. The former Lord Advocate, who led the inquiry into the construction of the Scottish Parliament, was questioned by Tayside Police officers on Tuesday night after the flight landed at Dundee Airport.
A statement from Tayside Police said: "A 61-year-old man has been reported to the procurator fiscal following an alleged incident on board a ScotAirways flight from London City to Dundee Airport."
It is understood that a complaint was made by a female flight attendant about a disruptive passenger."
Labour fingers caught elsewhere than in the till - must give them a little relief
Julian
I didn't know Pamela Bordes had removable legs. Probably where she hid Brillo's spare booze. It certainly explains why her favourite book is reputed to be Reach for the Doorknob by Douglas Bader.
It's a case of vage for visa's!!!
phweer - what a cheek!!!
"Reach for the Doorknob "
Eh 'knobhead' Brillo surely, the man with the political insight of bugo and zippy combined.
Since "call me Dave" Cameron didn't properly answer Guidos question, I have submitted the same question for him to answer again this week. Spare me the shitty excuses this time, and get voting on Webcameron to clean up British politics on both sides of the aisle.
Fuller
Have you come across (oh dear)
a Ms Sarah Bjnawanga on your travels?
Like yourself she is a darkie and again like yourself is looking for love.
Maybe the two of you could make some sweet jungle music together, she works for Adcaster social services and has recently (3 hours ago) been badly exploited by a bounder in pin stripe pants.
I would be happy to pass on her telephone number.
Bernadette
I do not know de lady, and I do not wish to know de lady. I am betrothed to another.
Fuller
How did he pick one?
Did she put those knickers on backwards?
Just goes to prove .... passports are one of the greatest crimes against humanity.
Julian, I was going to have an 'early night' until you put that hideous image in my head...
Not sure that Lembit is going to cop for it - Blunkett was an authoritarian Home Secretary who believed his own hype. And just as he was getting too big for his boots he sh@t on his colleagues via the Stephen Pollard book.
By comparison Lembit can't do too much damage and will be chalked up to the 'Pantomime Politics' season. But then again, I said 'cash for honours' was going nowhere near Gordon Brown...
p.s. I am also a tad disappointed at the non-appearance of an EU Enlargement joke. I also think Guido owes Sian an apology for that 'caption competition' as this clearly gave Lemsip ideas..
Another great thread.
But, Davetheslave, you've wandered on to the wrong site. Try ConservativeHome.
Could someone persuade this hot lady to stand for Tory leader? She probably would have smarter views than Windmiller Dave.
Anonymous (8.31) said...
Scotland's former top law officer, Lord Fraser of Carmyllie...
Jesus Christ, small world. I lived in 'cold' Carmyllie as a kid in the 70's. One of Lord Carmyllie's 'folk' was a George Medal holder for gallantry in NI, later to die of his wounds.
That useless cunt did fuck all, when representation was made to him for one reason or another.
Rumour in the area was his was a sexual pervert. I wonder whether his past has come home to haunt him?
Newmania, I don't think he did pick one. I think the cheeky girls had to draw straws, and Gabrielle (as I believe she is called) came off worse.
Imagine the relief of the other one.
You are all beating around the bush (so to speak guys!) The truth is that if you turn up with 2,000 of the ready stuff the cheeky girls will let you be very cheeky!
I do hope Limpbit is aware or maybe he's a pimping the ho's to supplement his meger parliamentary income....
Fucking Lib Dems what a shower of cunts.
From the forehead upwards, looks like the Military Police to me....
From the forehead down, looks like an assistant chief constable from the Metropolitan Police, Brixton Division.
I'm determined to turn my blog over to Eastern European totty for one weekend just for PHitch's benefit.
Anonymous said...
I do hope Limpbit is aware or maybe he's a pimping the ho's....
Are you saying old piss-artist Limpdick the gargoyle lookalike is a ponce?
Shurely shome mishtake!!
Lady Idle assures me that the shy retiring redhead is wearing the shreddies the right way round.
I suggested that they might be the type of underwear that goes back to front as well, for extra longevity between washes, just like us chaps turn the boxer inside out for that extra week of wear, but the look she gave me was haunting, and answer came there none....
Consider the following statements from a Lib Dem spokesman-
1 - Mr Opik mentioned the matter to Immigration minister Liam Byrne when they met in a corridor, reiterating that he knew the women in a personal capacity, the spokesman added
2 - But he had shown "total propriety" and had not lobbied on their behalf, a Liberal Democrat spokesman said
3 - "At no stage did he lobby anybody on this matter. He simply referred the issue through the relevant and proper channels."
So mentioning the matter to the immigratiom minister when they met in a corridor counts as the relevant and proper channels, and does not count as lobbying on their behalf.
Yeah but Anonymous 11.42, did Limpdick offer the Immigration minister a discount with one of his ho's. Perhaps an overnighter for a grand rather than the usual 2
Now Limpdick O'Prik the gargoyle impersonator has obtained a visa for one cheeky girl is there any truth in the rumour that Sion "ugly cunt" Simon is sorting out the other twin or is "ugly cunt" a step too far even for a desperate Romanian asylum seeker?
Yeah buy Sion "fucking ugly cunt and 70's barnet" Simon couldn't afford one of the girls on his meagre parlimentary income other than for a quick handjob in the bogs for 50.
Maybe the other one is in a bi-S&M relationship with that ugly bitch and god botherer Ruth Kelly. They'd both be a strappin on the cilices and feeling the pain.
Limpdick O'Prick might be a total wanker but at least he's not picking the sweetcorns out of his teeth after being seen to by some rent boy Oaten style
Maybe Chris "what a total and utter cunt" Bryant has stopped pillow biting and is shagging the other one. He could pay her fees with his legal winnings from spanking the Gruniad for printing his spoof conference diary illustrating his cuntness
The cheeky girls are actually Estonian, born in Romania however.
LO is of course of Estonian parentage - so they do have something in common.
The Cheeky girls are of course hopelessly broke, their management company is bankrupt adn they owe tax, national insurance, for which they are being chased.
World awaits Three other Horsemen of the Apocalypse
"The Vatican confirmed, late Sunday night, that scholars are searching the ancient texts for clues as to where and when the three remaining horsemen of the apocalypse might appear after it was confirmed that Take That have returned to the top spot of the UK charts." The Spine
http://www.the-spine.com/archives/431
NOW the lembit cheeky conjunction of horror? I'm worried.
The Cheeky Girls seem to have been around the Lib Dem circuit..someone called "Ben for Bromley" got a handful, see pick
http://www.ben4bromley.org.uk/photos/24.html?PHPSESSID=e454df258cb9c2b899507a67bdfeedee
(A very nice cheeky pic, you buy pick Meester? Good poses, all legal)
ps who is "Ben for Bromley"?
If you'd ever seen the rest of the girls in Romania, you'll understand why the Cheeky Girls had to come to Britain. They couldn't even get work in the Drug Addled Street Walker business over there.
Man, I just love it when an MP wrecks himself rather than the rest of us! Given the judgement he's shown, who the hell but a roadkilled badger would vote for this twat ever again?
Lembit, dear, if you're reading this, why do you think she seems to find you attractive? Could it be your chiselled profile or your dashing mien? Your stylish dress-sense or scintillating conversation?
Be careful of those antibiotics the GUM clinic will prescribe for your urethritis. They're very powerful and will probably destroy your gut flora; you might even end up being poisoned by Clostridium difficile. Just a word to the unwise.
P. S. How old is her dad?
Lord Fraser of Carmyllie ... Labour fingers caught elsewhere than in the till
Uhhhh... he's a Tory.
He should marry them both in an Muslim Ceremony and show how LibDem he really is..............
"Three In A Bed Lembit Chooses FFM combination in brwak with LibDem policy"
"in brwak with LibDem policy"
is that Brwak Osama?
!!!!
dear god - she can fast-track her visa anytime.
My take on the matter
http://rightlinks.co.uk/linked/modules/wordpress/index.php?p=124
This, presumably, being where they met:
http://www.mndassociation.org/news_and_events/news_room/press_releases/ball_celebrates.html
Over to you, gentlemen...
Guido said: "He lobbied for his girlfriend.
Guido, I know it's pantomime season and everything, but you're going to have to do a bit better than "Oh yes he did".
Lemsip is just a large walking prick...just like Mark is a large heap of mobile poo and Charles a walking Scotch bottle...that just leaves lovely Simon who, as its Thusrday, must be bi today...joy to the Lib Dems..and a happy Christmas...
wrinkled
Ben from Bromley is lib Dem councillor Ben Abbotts. Cllr for clockhoues, Bromley Borough. Also candidate atht eBromley by-election this summer.
A complete twat!
"Limpdick O'Prik"
Bloody hell, that's just awful.
By the way, did anyone notice any similarity between the pic and the Cherie painting from a few days ago?
Anonymous said...
"Limpdick O'Prik"
Bloody hell, that's just awful.
Is that you Limpdick?
Fuller wrote,
I didn't know Pamela Bordes had removable legs. Probably where she hid Brillo's spare booze. It certainly explains why her favourite book is reputed to be Reach for the Doorknob by Douglas Bader.
I was referring to that paragon of minefield clearance and worldwide paparazzi domination - Heather Mills.