Friday Caption Contest
There could be trouble ahead...
Tory Candidate Arrested Over Hate Campaign - Watford Observer
PM Under Fire for Not Answering Sith Questions - FT
Labour Desperate to Reschedule £16m Debts - Indy
Darling: "We're Doomed" - Times
Sean Tevis for State Rep., the Internet Candidate via Tom Steinberg
Scrounging Tory MP Complains -
Brown' s Undeclared "Donation in Kind" - COP Blog
Think-Tank Roundup - Cassilis
116 comments:
"Tits no face?"
Guido starts student outreach programme.
All back to mine for a threesome - wait a minute my face has fallen off!
Guido pixellated off his face again.
Candidates for the Ian Dale face transplant offer gather. One stands out more than the other two.
The new software automatically pixellated illegal and banned materials...
FIRST CHARMING LADY: After what you said to me last time, I'm surprised you dare to shew your face around here any more.
Guido was secretly planning to eat the small white snail crawling down the girls cheek..
Spot the difference?
The one in the middle is a badger. The other two are as rough as a bardger's...
It's part of a government health awareness campaign, showing the dangers of an excessive coke habit.
Its either Dickie Davis or a fat Bryan Ferry.
One light one, one dark one and one with a bit of shite on
Hold on I was wrong
Its a japanese porn film , they always pixelate the c***!
Meanwhile, back at Guido Towers, Kennington...
Mrs Fawkes: Where the bloody hell have my velvet curtains gone?
Wow, Guido, your face looks really weird on these Mexican Cubensis! :¬)
Dickie Davis has let himself go since World of Sport finished, hasn't he?
Al Jazeera extends coverage to British social events?
"What me, the Fourteenth Duke of Guido, in a Ladies' Dorm, with myyy reputation?"
Tony Slattery loses his battle against sex addiction.
Is that my Dave with two young ladies not his wife?
No it can't be David "Crackers" Cracknell. Even in pixillation, that guy is clearly better looking than goofy Crackers who has never been seen in the company of an attractive woman. I think it's Tony Hadley- ex of Spandau Ballet and now a rather keen Tory.
Fawkes spoons.
Pensioner hit over head with Tippex bottle after student prank goes wrong.
Girl on the left: "Not too long before we rid ourselves of this Labour so-called 'government'..."
Girl on the right: "...and the Tories can finally give us our country back."
Cambridge Young Conservatives Club is notoriously boring.
Its full of squares.
Kevin Pietersen, cricketer who toils hard by day, and plays harder by night, finds a way to stay out of the newspapers..
Tubby Tiger in shameless attempt to convince younger views he's still a 'big hit with the girls'..
'Miranda Priestly dyes her hair and takes to wearing a tux'.
Blonde Lady - 'Don't fancy yours much...'
'Hey Eddie, how come you're such a big hit with the girls?...'
"perfect end to the week... Blair's going down and, so to speak, are these two."
Mental Health Bill launched to protect the public against nutters loose in the community
sharp jacket ... not
I think Guido should stand as a Monster Raving Loony candidate. I think it would suit.
Both women thinking, "That Liam Fox is a dark horse, isn't he?"
All three in unison: "wipe that piece of snot off the camer lens ... oops ... too late."
'guidos pixellated face'
anagrams to
'De luxe, podgiest facial.'
Pixellated man finds that heaven is short-sighted girls.
The lipstick smeared directly above your crotch matches the blonds pouting lips!
If the misses see that you’re fawked…
"Hello Darlings, do you want to try something new?"
"Why? What have you got - Leprosy?"
"The innovative winner of the Cambridge University Gurning Competition celebrates while the runners up practice their expressions in the background."
Jazz Crooner Tony Hadley Limbers up For Celebrity Fit Club.
Watchdogs are called in after censors hide face but leave horrific jacket untouched.
Lord Lucan - do you know where David Cracknell is?
There are photo's of you at samizdate or whatever those nutters are called.
4 tits and a maybe....
Lottery winner Saul Paines celebrates with two Ukranian hookers in Boujis Nightclub.
Britain's first face transplanr patient bravely attends a pre-op party.
Why has Guido got a big keyhole on his shirt? Is it to open his heart?
they both ming to high heaven.
and you've got a lot fatter since the FTP days.
Nothing so sad as an aging playboy
"...and finally, I won the 1983 UK Atari Video Games Championship!"
"That's nice. You've dribbled port down your front and I'll thank you to take your hand off my arse."
Margaret Beckett blow job goes wrong....innocent victim fucked!
It’s so nice to see ‘chintz’ making a comeback…
Shane Ritchie lives up to his 'Wanker of the Week' award..
Trinny and Susannah announce their retirement after coming across someone completely beyond help.
Which one of you two pissed on my face till it melted?
Guido: Gary,you're a socialist, would you take these two beauties off me and do the neccessary?
Gary: Certainly Guido. In return, I've e-mailed George Osborne who is breaking the land speed record to get here. His arrival will cater for your normal conservative leanings.
Guido: Thanks Gary, you're a pal.
Left lady - 'I thought you said we were going to get to switch on the christmas lights'.
Right lady - 'I'm afraid the waistcoat fairy's lights are the only thing you will be turning on tonight..'
Deluded socialist from cloud cuckoo land-on-trent talks to himself.
Matthew Taylor consults his speech-writing team prior to making his leaving speech.
William, you appear to have missed the bowl, try one up.
Every muff-divers nightmare!
Misunderstanding the reason for Firework Night, Guido Fawkes attends a November 5 bash with Catherine Wheel and her sister Sparkler.
Micheal Jackson went down a storm at the Cambridge Young Conservatives Function (he misunderstood quite how young to expect).
Manufacturer orders recall as rubber fake nipples have terrifying consequences.
Manufacturer orders recall as rubber fake nipples have terrifying side effects.
Whose your daddy!!!
Blond to brunette, "Why does Mandy look so worried?"
Boris dyed his hair !........It doesn't match, I know
'Don't think I'll see him for much longer.He's too square.'
There could be trouble ahead? There certainly fucking could.
It's Spandau Ballet meets Flambards
If you look at a pixilated portrait through half-closed eyelids it comes sharply into focus.
no it doesn't!!
2 B.O.B.F.O.Cs and a C.U.N.T.
I think that's my wife on the left..you'll be hearing from me.
Binge drinking pikeys from Penge both throw up due to offensive jacket.
Mrs Fawkes sees picture: Guido sleeps on sofa.
With MessageSpace being less lucrative than anticipated, Guido resorts to "pimping his rides"...
DK
Two lipstick lesbians and The Spectator...
DK
Actually, the dark-haired one looks really familiar: she's not called Jo is she?
DK
Whose the fat drunk with the camera? My that is a big hard one..........sucker !
fair haired temptress, 'I think if you twiddle the joystick thingy below the jacket some more the face will come back into focus'
dusky vixen 'and why would we possibly want to do that dearie?'
Blonde one: I reckon this will end up as a caption contest.
Dark one: ..with all those juvenile muff jokes.
Blonde: Yes, and they criticise Cameron for not being funny!
Go on Guido, tell us that the pretty girl is the one in the middle!
Some Tory 'totty' gets more 'out of their face' than others.
Blonde: I reckon this will end up as a caption contest.
Brunette: Yeah, Paul always said he knew how to get oiks to work for him.
Blonde: Paul runs that Guido blog thingy.
Brunette: Mummy says it is alright as long as the ordinary people do not read it. They would never vote Conservative again.
Guido - I've got a new idea for a feature - minger of the month.
Blonde: I don't really want to be in a caption contest.
Brunette: Oh go on, He said he would give £5 to Children in Need for every funny one.
Guido: snigger
Nice teeth.
Girl on Left:"Do we have to do such preverted things to win Tory preselection these days?"
Girl on Right"Look on the bright side. Thank God we aren't in the Liberal Dems. That smell of that stuff never goes away you know."
Blonde: He told me they use his blog to target messages online to opinion formers and policy makers.
Brunette: Have you seen the posts in his caption contest ?
Brunette: He told me he is going to bring down the government.
Blonde: Good, they wanted to let that frightful oik Laura Spence come here.
Guido: That was Oxford.
Blonde: Oh, that's all right then.
Blonde: I think your site is great. It is actually entertaining.
Brunette: Yes, much more insidery than Boris Johnson.
Reg Varney said "they wanted to let... Laura Spence come here.
Guido: That was Oxford."
You do realise she is now a Cambridge medic, don't you...
Mark Oaten (behind camera): oh sorry, got something on the lense...
Mr Fawkes and friends at their audition for "I'm a Celebrity Tory A-Lister - Get Me Out Of Here"
Squint.............isn't that Borat ?
Lord Lucan
Do you want to take up Inspector Yates's offer of free meals at Subury Open P Restaurant
I have'nt got the £1million actually about my person, Tone, me old shag, but wot if I let matey Prescott take these 2 beauties upstairs for 20 minutes to do his "dog at hot chips" party trick? Baronet?
Ton Up?
Blonde "This place is full of faceless bureaucrats........"
Brunette "Yeah, I just snogged the face off one"
Guests and survivors of "The Chemical Peel Disaster Fund" pose for the cameras.
Blonde: This photo isn't very good.
Brunette: Its better than a picture of an empty football ground.
"Wow we are the best looking Tories in here..."
Nobody will read this but I will post anyway
"Iain dale sees the light"
I'll play Gordon and you can be Blears and you can be Hodge...I have fucking strange sexual fantasies...should be a Lib Dum.
Either one of those two would make for a pleasant hour or two after a quick rhohypnol martini...
More pictures from your party? I recognise the blonde girl from the Totty Report except this time she seems to be wearing a different dress. Must have been one hell of a night...
"Honestly Mavis, are there no lengths to which some people will go to fuck up Blair's I.D. Card scheme?".
"There maybe trouble ahead, but while there's moonlight, and song and romance, let's get hold of Guido, and dance...."
You lucky chap. Verrry nice indeed.
i think the one on the left is really rather attractive. anyone got her name and number?
Yes her name is Ms. L. Aymequick.
Tel 0709 201 2337
"I recognise the blonde girl from the Totty Report except this time she seems to be wearing a different dress. Must have been one hell of a night..."
And in the Totty Report she has been given a pearl necklace...
I think her name is Emma...
your names are all here http://www.cuca.org.uk/index.php?c=piccuca
Comely brunette:
"If I hold the old gentleman upright, you open the door, and we can get him into his wife's car. "
Comely blonde: "OK, Charlotte. It is just too sweet of her to drive him home don't you think...."
on ti
Is the guy at the back Milliband?
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