Self Analysis
Things Guido has learnt from drilling down the site analytics:
- Tory Totty was the most popular story this month.
- Lembit Opik Has a Secret was the most popular story last month.
- Fifty Tory Applicants for New Seat was the most popular story this year.
- Last month the daily average number of page views was over 10,000.
- Two thirds of you still use Microsoft's IE versus a quarter using Firefox.
- Iain Dale (5.99%) followed by ConservativeHome (3.14%) are the top referring sites this year (excluding Google searches at 19.9%).
- Top search referrals this year (after variations on Guido) are "Sheridan" and "Ruth Turner".
- 30,900 co-conspirators have visited the site over 200 times this year.
- On average some 200,000 visitors come at least once a week.
- 124,000 came to the site once in 2006 and never returned.
43 comments:
Congrats. Well earned. Well learned.
I think you ought to hold a competition, Guido, as to what story might attract back the 124,000 lost souls. Can it be true that so many were put off for ever by their first visit?! Mind you, I meet an increasing number of PC types suffering from terminal sense of humour failure. I guess 5thnovember wouldn't appeal to them.
I see that the Independent Media Section had a wee go at you yesterday about the Barker story and how you really hadn't broken it. Perhaps they were some of the 124,000...
DK
How to bring back the lost 124,000?
If the stats can be believed (and who would ever doubt statistics?) probably a story about Sheridan having to draw up the seating plan for fifty Tory totties at the secret wedding of Ruth Turner and Lembit Opik.
Stranger things have happened.
125..click..126.....click...127...click...128.....
..... or they could all be coming back but won't accept your cookies in case they catch something horrible from you..... after all the internets are dangerous places.
Self Analysis
Things Guido has learnt from drilling down the site analytics:
1. Tory Totty was the most popular story this month.
2. Lembit Opik Has a Secret was the most popular story last month.
3. Fifty Tory Applicants for New Seat was the most popular story this year.
4. Last month the daily average number of page views was over 10,000.
5. Two thirds of you still use Microsoft's IE versus a quarter using Firefox.
6. Iain Dale (5.99%) followed by ConservativeHome (3.14%) are the top referring sites this year (excluding Google searches at 19.9%).
7. Top search referrals this year (after variations on Guido) are "Sheridan" and "Ruth Turner".
8. 30,900 co-conspirators have visited the site over 200 times this year.
9. On average some 200,000 visitors come at least once a week.
10. 124,000 came to the site once in 2006 and never returned.
11. My dick measured in at 2.4 inches last night.
I never returned
See the Mail is still running the Barker story, Dacre really must hate that guy!
What is Sheridan up to nowadays?
I see Londoner's Diary has revived your Ben Bradshaw claims today ("including, intriguingly, a pack of Rizla cigarette papers").
Does it mean people were actually searching for Tory Totty? I know there are some disturbing perverts on the web but this takes the biscuit. Are there no depths of depravity to which people will not sink?
11. My dick measured in at 2.4 inches last night.
Welcome John Prescott , I take it that was when it was angry?
Disturbingly low resolution on those Tory Totty pics.
Recess Monkey would never allow this to happen.
Fix this please...
"Peter Hitchens said...
11. My dick measured in at 2.4 inches last night.
Welcome John Prescott , I take it that was when it was angry? "
You should know, you where attached to it, you scum of the earth you.
'9. On average some 200,000 visitors come at least once a week.' - Lucky for some, then
'10. 124,000 came to the site once in 2006 and never returned.' - Was it something you said? Maybe it was just a matter of personal hygiene?
And as to Anonamong '11. My dick measured in at 2.4 inches last night.' - Been using the old 'Enlarger' again?
You should know, you where attached to it, you scum of the earth you.
"You where"
Try spellcheck ,its free and makes you look less of the cunt we already think you are.
things I learnt from "drilling down" the site today:
1. Number of posts congratulating yourself: 1
2. Number of posts advertising your appearance elsewhere: 1
3. Number of posts quoting the Order Paper: 1
4. Number of posts talking about something going on on another site: 1.
What happened to proper gossip? You're a victim of your own success. I hope you lobby pass comes soon.
I wish I'd never returned. I've wasted the best years of my life hanging around this site.
Hear hear Anon @ 3.31! Getting a lobby pass will be the final nail in this FAT BASTARD'S extra large coffin! ho ho ho
@ Hitchens - Yes, it was a typo you twat!
And while we're on spell checkers, I think you mean, 'Try spellcheck , "it's" free and makes you look less of the cunt we already think you are.'
not
'Try spellcheck ,"its" free and makes you look less of the cunt we already think you are.'
So perhaps mind your English when referring to other people as a "cunt" for their own 'usage and abusage' of the English language. You complete CUNT!
MUHAHAHAHAHAHA
Is this for real!!!!
Was the Tory Totty THE BOOB SCOOP??
50 Tory applicants after MY seat.
How revolting.
124,000 - suppose some might say that is not a great churn rate.
p.s. anonamong you muppet - the correct grammer is "it's" free (it's being short for "it is"
anonomong 4:15
I fucking walked into that, cnat deny it (+:
It still doesn't change the fact that you are a cunt.
I doubt you would say that to my face and if you did I would just hold my finger under your nose and invite you to smell your mother.
all very intereting. But are you making any money?
boys boys...now kiss and make up before Mark gets here.....
David Mills is a bent lawyer and will soon be sharing a cell with that fucking ex disc jockey white haired twat Cashpoint Levy.
Yeah Mr fancy pants Guido, you know so much about me - what colour underpants am I wearing?
Peter - was it you searching for Tory Totty?
"jon H said...
What is Sheridan up to nowadays? "
spanking prozzers? just a guess...
Self analysis? Self abuse, more like....
"Tory Totty was the most popular story this month."
Of course it was - the readership here is disproportionately Tory and it is well known, as Confucius say, that arses follow arses.
Likewise, since half our Tories 'lean the other way' and wear themselves (and each other) out then "Fifty Tory Applicants for New Seat" is no surprise either.
Anonymon(grel)...so far you have added 3 comments to this topic. Quite apart from being inane all 3 show a total lack of value, humour or relevance. Fuck off back under your stone will you, you moron.
William norton, re: your suggestion "Sheridan having to draw up the seating plan for fifty Tory totties". Tommy's plan for the seats of this Totty is already available (subject to Murdoch copyright issues) at Scotporn.co.sco
Graham E re: "Fuck off back under your stone will you, you moron." is this a sign of your values, your humour or your relevence?
The non-returners must have been looking for fireworks - but not the verbal kind
how do you get to 200,000 visitors per week if you only average 10,000 page views per day? I'm no mathematical genius, but isn't that 70,000?
Probably 200 000 hits.
nope. Each hit would be a page view.
"Filthy Tory Applicants for New Seat" was my fave
To be honest I only come here for the saucy adverts.
Doubtless Sheridan will be highly annoyed that he only came second to 'variations on Guido'.
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