Friday Caption Competition
He is actually telling the lovely Anna Botting to shut up. What should he be saying?
Friday, October 13, 2006
He is actually telling the lovely Anna Botting to shut up. What should he be saying?
He is actually telling the lovely Anna Botting to shut up. What should he be saying?
154 comments:
Sean Ryder in last plea from prison cell. Chair at midnight.
Jack Straw announces veils for ugly Welsh bastards are OK.
http://bucket-of-shit-from-china.blogspot.com/
"The Prodigy - can't beat 'em mate. 'Smack My Bitch Up' - tuuuuunnnnne!"
Or... "Yeah they're nice ones mate - Mitzi's. Fiver each, yeah?"
Man with bum-parting impersonates cat's arsehole. Chav looks on in utter dismay.
http://bucket-of-shit-from-china.blogspot.com/
He looks like Andy Cairns from Therapy on the right
darwin issues apology apparently evolution doesnt work.
He should be saying, ''I apologise unreservedly for being such a stupid obnoxious cunt, and I resign forthwith''. Good Lord, is the British electorate so stupid, or just completely disengaged from politics to vote for people like this?
STAND-UP WALES! The best Ricky Gervais impersonator in the valleys gets own TV show.
http://bucket-of-shit-from-china.blogspot.com/
I'm sorry,I read a book of Gordon Brown's speeches.It affected my judgement,ok?
Mad schizo apologises: 'It's not my fault, I didn't ask to be Welsh'.
http://bucket-of-shit-from-china.blogspot.com/
Oh no! I'm touching cloth!
'I know I'm a Moon-Faced idiot.I haven't the hormones to grow a beard,so the hair was my only option.'
Welcome to Tonight, with me, Jay Leno my guests include a fucking idiot dressed a Dave Cameron
Gonzo porn hits new low. Welsh man with tits gets taken off web.
http://bucket-of-shit-from-china.blogspot.com/
Wales bid for Eurovision glory. Swansea's 'Pet Shop Boyos' big it up for the valleys.
http://bucket-of-shit-from-china.blogspot.com/
"I also impersonate an MP, but I'm even less convincing at that..."
'I wouldn't call my coming operation a sex-change.As you can see it's more of a sublimation.'
"Sorry, 'Chiltern Hundreds'? What's that then?"
'HUMBLE PIE--NEW CURE FOR HAIR LOSS'
Welsh half-wit has tits painted blue at pit-head. Lawyer demands government action.
http://bucket-of-shit-from-china.blogspot.com/
Goldie Looking Chain introduce new rapper - Shawny Shawn
Parents take current fad for dressing babys too far--Sky exclusive pictures.
"Shampoo and conditioner? Take tow bottles into the shower?"
Moment of madness/ suffering from clinical depression/ acted in good faith / I am not fit for purpose / the really really important thing is that we have invested xxxx billion pounds in the NHS since 1997/ this is only of interest to people in the Westminster village/ no one has asked me about this on the doorstep/ real people are not interested in this .....
I.e. Spouting out standard NuLabour excuses/ diversions
You complete tube!
"I wish I'd merely smeared myself with a rentboys shit"
NASA launch huge fat posh and chav inflatable weather ballons over atlantic.
"My favourite hobby? Chasing parked cars."
choice of Television programs on international space station really shit.
"Well, it went over big at bloggers4labour!"
"You see - politics really is show business for ugly people."
"DON'T YOU KNOW WHO I AM?"
Trinny and Susannah unveil their first total make-over failure
Noko, skati wena funa kuluma fanakalo, lo gama ka mina, yena "Madoda kalo Remittance"
Anna Botting: Sion, it true that you've claimed that your granddad was a Corsican who fought with the Free French.
Sion Simon: Oui, ma belle. C'est magnifique, non?
Anna Botting: C'est mighty odd, actually, mon ami.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but weren't your - Scots origin? - Simon ancestors in Wales for over 100 years up to 1901? They're on the censuses, aren't they?
Or perhaps I'm wrong and they migrated from Wales to Corsica and then to France?
Woops, first line should read:
Anna Botting: Sion, is it true that you've claimed that your granddad was a Corsican who fought with the Free French?
As we rely on envy of the rich and media manipulation to govern I'm certainly of a high enough standard to be an MP.
.... all this trouble and now I have a tiny stiffy on live TV!
Does Sion really think that haircut is fetching? Or does he realise what a twit it makes look like.
someone! please! shag my wife. i'm certainly not getting any...
"We have been joined at the hip for several years, trouble is hewanks all the time and I fart a lot....as a result, we have no friends"...
"I HATE you! It's so unfair! Why do I have to wear this stoopid suit? Where's Perry?"
"Look at me Look at me. Over here!!! No - stop looking at the General who wants to overthrow the government - over here - me the asshole! Over here!!!"
Buy one twat, get one free
I usually like to wear a hat to cover my stupid hair... but i can't really wear one with a suit and a tie.
Voice of the lovely Anna Botting: "Isn't that an Old Etonian tie? No, on second thoughts, it's much too thick."
And after they stopped shooting Shameless I couldn't even get bar work.
Prize so far has to go to Peter Hitchens - "Choice of Television programs on international space station really shit."
Although have to give George Street 10 out of 10 for effort...
I think he might be undergoing some sort of surreptitious sex change. He was wearing some very suspect jeans and boots at labour conference, and that hair is coiffeured!
Sian Simone, anyone?
"My Father was very fond of my Mother, he assisted at my birth. Later we had her for Sunday dinner with mint sauce"
MP on the Left Screen:
squirrels, squirrels, they're the ones to look out for Ann. They come at night...you'll see.
MP on the Right Screen:
And jelly, horrible, wobbly jelly that I can't stand..look, look there's one over there!!
Sky Exclusive--Only man in the world able to poke himself in both eyes with one finger.
It's a fallacy that you can count on a Welsh Labour MP to be a cunt.
The accepted practice is to weigh them.
Left screen - I'm not moving until you let me play on my X-BOX.
Right screen - That's not me. That's not Sion Simon. We look completely different. Wibble.
Botting - Guido, where's your bloody gunpowder when we need it?
Looks like a poor man's Wossy to me.
Anna Botting forced to search on hands and knees for dummy after interviewee spits it.
"I can't see clearly now which is why I look like a flaming twat. "
"Ali Campbell put me up to this. He said I would make a name for myself "
The Welsh can be verrrrry touchy. Guido can expect a call from the CRE on Monday. Some of the Welshism on here this afternoon has been appalling, truly appalling.
http://bucket-of-shit-from-china.blogspot.com/
Catherine Tate launches new series character: thick Welsh cunt.
http://bucket-of-shit-from-china.blogspot.com/
he actually does look abit like cameron on the right.
massive heeed, and a tiny little public school mouth, for bitty.
After LibDem MP, Mark Oaten blamed hair loss on his rent boy expose, Labour MP Sion Simon blamed exessive hair on attempts to look like a gay rent boy.
"This is my political suicide video."
"I see my self as politics answer to Mike Yarwood. Do a piss-poor impersonation, go bonkers and never work again."
My name's really spelt Sian. I'm Welsh, I've got lovely hair, and I appear on the telly. And soon I'm going to marry my lovely Lembit.
Here's two pictures of a fuckwit.
" You just wait till I'm Mayor of London - then you'll see how tough I am..."
with apologies to Ld. Jeffry Arehole
'Wife Swap' goes horribly wrong. Welsh nation to sue England.
Sion Simon strongly denies being "SuperChav" after Sky provide video evidence.
He is alledged to have been seen entering a pimped-up Clio in his suit and emerging as "SuperChav", before going on a crime spree to steal large screen televisions.
"I did not have sex with...anyone!"
I'm not entering until this site produces details of past prize winners.
No correspondence will be entered into.
"My next film is going to be SION OF THE DEAD."
I'm sorry, I'm not Sion Simon, I'm Miss Onion, you must have got your letters mixed up
Sion Simon as David Cameron (left) and Guido Fawkes (right).
"Ouch! I can feel yet another gunshot wound somewhere below my ankle."
I really enjoyed the interview he did with Nic Owen-
Twat: 'There was nothing offensive about it'
Owen: 'You were talking about having sex with his wife.'
Having been bitch-slapped by Owen, the lank-haired freak started hopping up and down in his seat, squealing that he had been interrupted. What an insufferable tool.
Cameron must be loving this... you can't buy this sort of publicity.
To Botting: Gordon made me do it.
'Listen, girl, pay attention. This is quality political satire. If you can't see that, its your problem, not mine.'
George Street
You've really got in for the Welsh, haven't you?
Sion Simon, Brummie Welshman, mummy's boy
Alright, alright. So I'm not David Cameron. And I'm not really Sion Simon, either.
I am Nadja off Big Brother. Now can you understand why I act like a twat?
George Robertson knew my mother.
Well, I came to Westminster because the village in Caernarfonshire I come from was blessed with two idiots you see....
George Street - don't feel guilty about insulting us Welsh. Our shoulders are broad (except for Siôn Simon's, obviously...)
I'm the only Villain in the garage!
Which one is Anna Botting? With the trucker's titfa or dressed as a guy on the right?
Sionny was a Welshman
Thick beyond belief
Sionny said of Dave's spouse:
Feel free to give her beef
I went to Sionny's house
Sionny was in bed
With a filthy little rent boy
Giving Sionny head
etc, etc....
http://ingeb.org/songs/taffywas.html
"I'm full of shit, and so's my party."
You want to see a party in decline?
Classic example there, Boyo
Stupid buggers falling over themselves to be more out of touch wih the reality than their leaders!
Christ, where's Paul Merton when you need him?
Congratulations Sion, Lord Mayor of the village of idiots.
'I did not slurp my drink, I did not...Mother you need to sit in a pile of puke...!
'Sion, sit down and behave...'
'I wanna bring Dad in here...'
'The drink was slurped'!
(sorry NTNo'clockNEWS favourite...)
Prat though! Hopleless for Nudgelab.
I'm the only idiot in the (Westminster) village.
"My job as a Labour MP is to support the Labour Government and to work for the re-election of another Labour Government"
roughly translated as,
"Erdington? who gives a fuck about Erdington? Or the dumb fucks who live there. Sad gits will vote for me anyway"
Oh dear god..I've been waiting all day to see this and it doesn't disappoint...
'I'm here to support the labour government and to get them re-elected'.
Hmm, nothing about serving the public, or representing your constituents?
At least say it, even if you don't mean it...Well I suppose he's being honest, if nothing else.
Odious Twat.....he's got the same hairstyle I had in 1991 when I was 11.
Oops, just realise it was the caption competion not rant hour....
'Sky Multiscreen means you can now see more than one program at the same time, for example Crimewatch, and one of those 100 greatest lists, presented by Jimmy Carr with a old mop on his head'
(It does actually look like him as well...either that or a Fat Jonathan Ross in a cheap suit)
Having met him, he is the - quite easily- the biggest cunt in UK politics. And I include NI politicians in that.
He is a high-and-mighty shit as well. Enjoy!
"before and after, the pros and cons of sex-change surgery..."
why am I playing this silly competition? I'm nearly bored enough to go watch his video again.
"Well, when I was at the Hurleygraph, I was... err.. unenlightened. But then I met Tony Parsons, and I watched Late Review one night and like I listened to Tom Paulin say the fatal words: the Stone Roses are the future! And in the purity of the moment I knew that like Tony Blair was the Messiah and my hair just did this thing, and like, then, I just went with it, and then I read Polly Toynbee about like a week later and I just had to do this piece about like the inner dialogue of a hoodie and like it was just so immanent, so pure, I just lived the moment, radical or what YOU FKN TORY B_____IAT.ch! You don't like me? OH, I'm gonna have a limp bizkit moment, and rant like my fathe off coz i'm like the only nulab bitch-boy in the village."
>off camera<
"My hair looked good yeah? You like the contax darling, yeah, I found some luvly marn at specsavers, he rustled them up with the magic of modern technology, like a fax or a pager but makes yer see better, innit!"
Blackburn Rovers. WMD. TB is God. Freemasons Rule. Dead in the Woods. Dannatt's head on a pike. And the Whore Liz. Give me more E my Preshus, oh how my heart murmurs... MAD-CHEST-ORRRRRRRRC!!!!!! God is Dead. Satan RULES! Ps. Where's Gordon-Beelzebub? He owes me a quarter. Tight bastad. I'll find him on the West Coast Line, I swears to yuz!
beavis and butthead
Sion in cap: You...you...! look what you've done to me...my hair, my beautiful hair...
Capless Sion: BE QUIET when I'm speaking...
Sion in cap: No, you BE QUIET when I'M speak...
Capless Sion: NO, I'M SPEAKING...!
Sion in cap: BE QUIE....aaaaaaAAAAggh, why do'you do THAT?...My nose, it's bleeding!
Capless Sion: BE QUIET!!! You DARE to interrupt ME...!
Sion with cap: No YOU Be QUIET...Look at my.....aaaaaaAAAAAAAAgggh, no, no, please don't pull my dose...
Capless Sion: That'll teach you to BE QUIET!!
Man in white coat: Ok, this must be him. OJ Sime - piss - on, you're under arrest.
Sion with cap: OJ Sime...? Oh, you mean OJ Simpson. Don't be absurd, man, we're SION SIMON.
Capless Sion: Look, there's only one OJ and there are two of us - you saw us arguing.
Man in white coat: Ha, ha, you almost had me believing you there, OJ. But you're not quite clever enough.
2nd man in white coat: The thing is, you see, there were always two OJs
Man in white coat: So, come along, Sime - piss - on!
Sion with cap: You can't do this, this is insane, I'm an MP, show me some respect
Man with white coat: Of course, sir, come along MR Sime - piss - on!
"It was that nasty old buggar Mr Brown wot made me do it, honest !"
Hi I'm Sion Simon and I'm the ugliest sod in Parliament.
Apart from that freak Lembit Opik, of course!
I only did it to get up Gordon's arse !!
"... 'Ere I 'ad that Tony Blair in the back of me constituency once ... like ... you know .. when I was sorta famous an' everything an supported Tony Blair like, you know?"
'Cause all different now like. Like now I can only get that Dave Cameron like, not that e'd wanna come to a shithole like Birmingham like. Know whadda mean .. like?"
"Spare some change to buy me kids some Sunny-D guv?"
THIS WEEK'S PRIZE COMPETITION
Labour MP Sion Simon has been in the news for making a controversial video. He claims it is satirical and amusing. Above are two stills taken from video footage featuring Sion. To win the prize you must identify which of the frames is from Sion's video.
Is it (A) the one on the left.
Or (B) the one on the right.
In case of a tie, please complete the following sentence: "Sion Simon is....." Your answer should not exceed 25 words.
Answers on the back of a postcard to:
Sion Simon MP
House of Commons
London SW1
The publics opinion will be final.
'Ere, that one on the right. Weren't 'e in all them carry On films?
Yer right, Bert. That's wossername. Run the camp-site in Carry On Camping. Peter Butterworth weren't it? Always lookin' up girls' skirts. Dirty ol' bugger. Fort 'e were dead.
Nah luv. S'pect 'e soon will be, though.
"Whatever you say doesn't matter.
I may well be a beetle-eyed, floppy haired fuckwit,
But I wear a Labour rosette, and that's good enough for the local voters.
Shut up and listen to MEEEEeeeee!"
"Of course my mouth looks like an arsehole...cos I'm a total arsehole innit?"
Is that really his hair? What a total tosser.
He's certainly no gentleman to talk about and to us laydees like that.
[And he should be asking where he can get a decent haircut.]
My ring piece was juxtaposed with my mouth. You can kiss my arse. Pass the Andrax first though.
Anon 2:37
Was that supposed to be a quote from the Welsh git's mouth?
If it were I might take exception and be forced to raise the clan and seek out somebody upon whom to wreak righteous vengeance.
To be mistaken for a politician is bad enough. For it to be suggested that this tit is The Remittance Man? That's a grievous insult. Or trade mark infringement.
As they are wont to say around these parts: "Pas op as jy spiel met 'n lieuw se ballas".
By the way, is it some sort of secret plan by the Welsh to send all their idiots to Westminster? Some sort of "mental cleansing" of the nation?
"Someone told me they can stick You Tube up their arses... I'd tried it myself with some tubing and out came an apology."
"If I'm found dead like David Kelly was, who will Chair the trail? The Muppets?"
Any one who wishes to complain should email mr.potatohead@parliamentuk.
"I look so cool in this haircut I should kiss myself!'
"I know how to use YouTunes...damn I am cool!"
Simple Sion met 'Pork Pie' man
Said "I'll be your mole"
Says Pork Pie man to our Sion: I'll help you up the greasy pole.
Years gone by man, and our Sion Stuck in his own mire,
Pole ungreased, says "I've been fleeced!" and ponders his desire.
Feeling down man, Sion turned Brown, man,
Stuck in Blair the knife.
"Et tu Brute?" "Tuf shite fruity! Now, for Cammy's wife!"
There is only one caption
"Cunt and Cuntier"
Why am I still looking at a pic of this dipstick?
He's a loser, can we talk about someone else please?
Grafas Fruning Graplecard 1895 – 2006
Fruning Walpurgis Wenceslas Colin Frankopan Graplecard was born into one of the most influential and revered of families, on January 19th 1895 at his country estate just outside the regional capital Marijampolė. (Now His family can be traced back to medieval times and, indeed to king Mindaugas himself. Fruning’s ancestor, the Grand Hetman of Lithuania was responsible for introducing the concept of Schadenfreude to the populace of Sūduva / Suvalkija, today erroneously and recklessly attributed to the German language. A statue to Flatelall Graplecard has been erected in Bristol, by the local population, in recognition of their affinity with Schadenfreude.
In 1920, as a result of the Polish-Bolshevik war, Fruning fled to Belgium, then thought the better of it, and settled in London at Number 1 Ovington Square, SW3, and Number 9, The Ovaries, Scotton Pinkney until his death.
A keen frotteur, he spent many hours on the Bakerloo Line during rush hour and never missed Harrod’s sale, since it was just a short walk from his London residence.
During the Second World War, Fruning Graplecard trained spies and knitted balaclavas for the Women’s Land Army. In 1954 he was awarded the Order of the Lithuanian Grand Duke Gediminas (Commander’s Grand Cross) for services to naturism and the Hanseatic wool trade.
He wrote and published many articles and books, but is chiefly remembered for his collaboration with Hieronymous Gratenfliess on the The Incomplete History of the Art of the Funerary Violin.
In recent years, as his health declined due to an excess of wine and Macadamia nuts, he devoted himself to the occasional talk on semiotics, online tittle tattle and ill-considered tirades on dubious “blogs”. A bitter feud erupted between himself and an old associate, Sir Aubrey de Tocquaine, ending in de Tocquaine’s tragic death.
He entered hospital having succumbed to a surfeit of Lampreys but recovered, only to choke on a liquorice allsort. Despite passers by attempting the Heimlich manoeuvre (whom he fought off with the words “Get off me you despicable bugger”) he could not be resuscitated.
He is survived by his wife and erstwhile mistress the Grafienė Stacey Graplecard, the nude model, and his son, Jeremy Paxman, the broadcaster.
I can't think of a caption...all I'm thinking is "whatacuntwhatacuntwhatafuckingcuntwhatatwatarseholestupidhaircuntcunt"
Its my video and I can be an arse on it if I want too.
Did Gordon Brown know in advance about Sir Richard Dannatt's intention to speak against government policy on Iraq? It's unlikely Dannatt went ahead without ensuring he had backing from somewhere.
Brown's failed with Watson and Simon's various campaigns to see off his enemies including spoof videos. Maybe he backed Dannatt as his next card in the anti-Blair pack.
Sion-ara
My Voters may sigh "Poor Sion", but "Poor" I certainly am not (MP's salary, expenses ..... )
and just think of the inlfated MP's pension, if my B'ham voters ever wake up and sling me out of the House
imagine having that
twat for an MP..bet his constituants love the fact that he spends time making crap videos to post on U Tube
I'm a Shit,I can't help it
It's my fate and I've been dealt it
A baby's head,no neck nor talent too.
I'm slowly goin' blind,so why be so unkind.
I clutched at fame and surely wouldn't you?
AND always look on the bright side of life.......
Fruning Graplecard?? In 1954 Lithuania was part of the USSR and all titles lead to instant death - so he couldn't have been awarded the grand dukes order of the thingy then could he? Ha! Check your history next time and leave the funnies to experts like Tom Watson and old fatface Sion
Gordon made me do it......bigger boys!!!!!!!!!!! sob sob
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-SZsfk_56B4&NR
This is great - pass the link on