Gordon Said Fiscal Rules Were Basis of Competence - Fraser Nelson
Tory Candidate Arrested Over Hate Campaign - Watford Observer
PM Under Fire for Not Answering Sith Questions - FT
Labour Desperate to Reschedule £16m Debts - Indy
Darling: "We're Doomed" - Times
Sean Tevis for State Rep., the Internet Candidate via Tom Steinberg
Scrounging Tory MP Complains -
Brown' s Undeclared "Donation in Kind" - COP Blog
Think-Tank Roundup - Cassilis
102 comments:
"Best. Conference. Ever. I never had my feet bathed like that before! Is Carol still here, by the way?"
"...so I've decided to nominate this dead sheep's head as my successor.."
Dear Senor Guido
I hesitate to criticise an Artist of Theo's penetration & sagacity but
Why do Blair's Babes not feature more prominently - surely the Ladies Blears und Hewitt merit a most obvious prominence ... and Mrs Mills
Your obedient servant
G Eagle
"Forgive them, Father, for they know not what they are about to do"
.
verdammt
Whoops .... how could Mr Eagle forget Mrs Dromey
Is that Carol peeping out from under the table just to the left of the dog
Perhaps a picture of the band playing as the Titanic sinks and the cabinet fighting to get onboard a lifeboat would be more appropiate.
That belongs in a Kunstmuseum.
Prescott: "Can I 'ave a go with Ruth when you've finished with her, Tony?"
"Conference? I thought this was a lodge meeting called to address the troublesome antics of brother Yates."
sans shoes, sans cushy job sans everything
Damn. Gordon's eaten the last piece of roast child again.
What no knives, will no one betray me?
Tony Blair musing on the words of Bertrand Russell - "Next to enjoying ourselves, the next greatest pleasure consists in preventing others from enjoying themselves, or, more generally, in the acquisition of power."
So...who's Judas then?
At yesterday's Cabinet Ministers decided to legalise skunk after Jack Straw complained that 'e was tired of hiding de stuff in 'is underpants so that Tony could 'ave a spliff.
Eursoc Two said...
That belongs in a Kunstmuseum.
Transpose two letters and it does.
Regen-Coaster
Language - Ladies & Children (& young Eagles) read this blog
G Eagle
Me: Bugger the devil, if Yates should cast his net...
Who's is the head on the plate? Hazel Blears or Lord Levy?
Is that Pete from Big Brother in front of Blair......."WANKERS!"
Prescott: "Eh up Tone! What 'as Jack done to 'is fecking 'air? Give him telephone number of our 'air tinter. Blue rinse is sooo last year."
Is that Hazel Blears curled up by the footbowl?
That vile munchkin has now said she thinks people want state funding for political parties. Her Reality Distortion Field (tm) must be on full power and makes it impossible for her to be carbon-neutral.
Blair: 'Prison sucks...but thank you all for visiting.'
Prescott: 'No fookin bother love - I'll bring a few tarts next time.'
Jack Straw -
"Brown, you tight-fisted tosser. It was only going to cost us thirty pieces of silver...thirty! Then we'd all have been rid of him...."
[7] There came unto him a Management Consultant having an alabaster box of very precious Social Investment, and poured it on his head, as he sat at tofu.
[8] But when his disciples saw it, they had indignation, saying, To what purpose is this waste?
[9] For this Social Investment might have been taxed for much, and given to the Socially Deprived.
[10] When Blair understood it, he said unto them, Why trouble ye the Consultant? for she hath wrought a good work upon me.
[11] For ye have the Marginalised always voting for you; but me ye have not always.
[12] For in that she hath poured this ointment on my body, she did it for my Pension Fund.
[13] Verily I say unto you, Wheresoever this New Labour gospel shall be preached in the whole world, there shall also this cost over-run, that this woman hath done, be told for a memorial of her and the New Labour Project.
Prestwat: Burppppp. Ee up that 'uckin' dog's fartin more then me!
Fear no more the frown of the great
"A bit of bread, a bit of wine, and we're all hungry. C'mon Tony, you said you could do it."
Who would play Mary Magdalene?
And verily the Blessed Tone turned the water into wine, cured the Prezza of his wanton erectile tendencies, bestowed unto Gordo a heart and a soul, to the Hain a pallid complexion at one with that of his benighted constituents and to Mags Beckett a lovely set of gnashers...
I am the one true Blair, Thou shalt have no other Blairs before me!
For Blair so loved New Labour he took with him all his cabinet because whosoever belived in him was left to perrish in the scrubs.
fuck the silver, id stitch him up for that sheeps head
'Lord, is it I?'
'No Gordon, definitely not.'
Our Leader: "One of thee will betray me."
Zanu Labour Disciples (in unison): "Only One!?!?"
my neck hurts.
St Anthony of Connaught Square:
The goat's head and pig's trotter is an old Sedgefield message. It says that Gordon Brown can only be Prime Minister once he has a wife who can get both items in her mouth at the same time, like mine can.
Where's me tea and kippers Rosie?
I always thought Blair had a bit of a God complex...
After reading todays gruniad lead story, the cabinet 'power breakfast' , felt a little flat.
"Dress down Friday"
"Pontius Pilate wants a word with you about the 'cash for sainthood' thing Tony, Centurion Yates is waiting outside..."
Four years into their life sentences for war crimes, and as the escape committee look on, wee Ian McCartney demonstrates how he will clamber into Straw via his arse, as his Glaswegian-to-English translator explains that the former Blackburn MP has a better chance of masquerading as a pregnant woman and fooling the prison guards, than Patricia Hewshit; no matter how much make up she slaps on.
What have you all been eating?
You must all go on a strict diet with immediate effect before any more of these pictures are leaked out of the prison..
GB: "We all once thought you were great Tone. And we know you got these suckers to pay more for the carry-out than anyone else. But now you've got a skinfull of that cheap wine inside you, your patter is awful. You'll never convince Knacker of the Yard now."
Prezza (for it is he):
"When tha's finished with Rosie, give 'er back to me. I want to be the last up 'er"
Well what was the winning entry for LAST Friday?
"Sodom and Gomorrah are having their best ever year. They are moving forward not back"
"Yea, verrily, I say unto ye, that it is easier for a rich man to enter the House of Lords than it is for a camel with a red rosette to be elected in Sedgefield."
"In real terms, the number of camels passing through the eye of a needle has increased massively than we saw under the last Conservative Government."
"We are now able to answer the lawyer's question. The Home Office will shortly be implementing a massive programme of CCTV, Id cards, biometric databasing so that the authorities will know exactly who your neighbour is, where he lives, what his credit rating is...."
GB naw, Jack, Nair's no bettur thun Immac, Immac's pricier but no regrowth fur 4 months
Blair says...
"But Gordon and I ordered pollenta and rabbit not this fucking sheeps head."
Candi-gram for Mongo.
"If we pull this off Gordon I`ll be Messiah for a few years then stand down and it`s your turn,trust me on this"
"Cuntstable saved for the natioin"
Voter`s suspect a Scottish bias within New Labour when "Donald Where`s yer Troosers?" replaces the Red Flag at the close of the Labour Conference.(Sign Language for the mercifully deaf courtesy of Prezza)
"Jamie Oliver was right. These turkey twizzlers taste like shit."
or
"You are Peter and on you I build my rock ....oops, after the mortgage debacle you'd beter go off to Brussels instead."
Blair: "Look, I said I'd be gone by Easter, didn't I?"
Blair - one of you will betray me.
Can you see what it is yet?
And then he went into the chip shop and asked for Gaucamole ...
Hain "I wicked me, in with da kids, look at the devil symbol I can make with me hand"
"wheres the gravy?"
"Rickytshirt said...
Our Leader: "One of thee will betray me."
Zanu Labour Disciples (in unison): "Only One!?!?""
Hurry Cain (not very Abel) G Broon roon (for it is he):
"Thou Cannae coont!!"
anyone for the second sitting?
Bliar "I'll be back"
Humphrey The Cat reincarnates as a dog to piss over the feet of the NuLab nomenclature.
Prestwat: "I don't care 'ow party flower it up Tone, Baroness Scotland were only black member 'ere. That will look bad to some. She were tasty though, if a bit over cooked."
Tony began to think that organising this little get-together at the Granita Restaurant in Islington had been a bad idea.
Tony looks on as Reid shafts Brown in front of the other beleivers.
Gospel of St Mark, Chapter 14:12. Now the first day of the new cabinet, when it was customary to sacrifice unto the reshuffle the Home Secretary, Tony's disciples said unto him 'where wilt thou that we go and prepare that thou mayest handover to Gordon?' 13. And Tony sendeth forth two of his disciples, and saith unto them 'Go ye into the conference, and there shall be a scotch man bearing a grudge: follow him."
And Gordon did say "and where the hell am I going to find thirty pieces of silver at this time of night?"And Pressa the Hutt spake "It's because of the dinner bill we inherited from the Tories".
and for my next trick - nothing up my sleeves......
Or even better, Gospel of St Luke 22.
1. Now the feast of October drew nigh, which is called the Labour Party conference. 2. And the backbenchers and trade unionists sought how they might dethrone Tony, for they feared the general election. 3. Then entered Satan into Gordon surnamed Brown, being of the number of the cabinet. 4. And he went his way, and communed with the backbenchers and junior ministers, how he might betray Tony unto them. 5. And they were glad, and covenanted to deliver him votes. 6. And he promised, and sought opportunity to betray Tony unto them. 7. Then came the day of the conference when the members votes must be won. 8. And Tony sent Peter and John, saying go and prepare us for the conference, that we may serve a full third term.
Desperately trying to revive their shattered political careers overseas after the military coup in Britain New Taliban wait patiently for the turbans to arrive.
And the voice said: this is the hand, the hand that takes...
Where is the hand?
What time did you say the crucifixion's booked Gordon?
So it's the tub of lard then for the leadership?
Tis was the night before Christmas and all around, they hoped for a new leader.
So what time is the lap dancer booked for?
Who ate all the pies?
[Everyone looks at Prescott...]
With apologies to Monty Python:
The Pope: Look, Bassano, there is no negotiation here. I want a traditional last supper with bread, wine, The Lord Jesus, 11 disciples and one Judas.
Bassano:....ONE?
Pass the vitreol
Does the picture have an extra "13th" Disciple, in addition to our Dear Leader ?
There seems to be an extra, supernumery Disciple ... or is that guy (apparently) trying to grab the sheep's head a Thief ?
How many Blair babes are hiding in the Darkness under the table ?
Does the real Peter Hitchens have a view
'
Dear Anon 9:50am
Spelling ... Ladies & children (& young eagles + a libster, a stoat &other small deer) read this blog
.... Supernumerary !!@£$%^&*()_
Your obedient servant
G Eagle
St Jackdus: '...Eeek! I've forgotten how we do for St Anthonius'
St Reidus: 'No wonder they call you St Jackdus Isidiot.'
St Georgus: 'Listen, fool. The pellet with the poison's in the vessel with the pestle, the challice from the palace is the brew that's true.'
St David: '...I broke the chalice from the palace defenging me wiki from attack...'
St Georgus: 'As I said, the pellet with the poison's in the vessel with the pestle, but the flagon near the dragon is the brew that's true'
St Margaretus: 'Look's like the dragon's already been at the vessel. Eee, it's murder in 'ere..never comin' in 't 'ouse of Commons canteen again.'
St John Two Barm Baps: Wrong, Margaretus, I'VE done for Babe Ruth wi' me cowboy knife, now, all look normal while I do for St Anthonius...
Sheep's Head: 'All those in the canteen, put down your weapons and manifestos. You are surrounded. Come out with your hands up.
St Georgus & St Anthonius: 'Quick, run for it, it's Yatus of the Yard!
So why did Oaten sell us this table so cheaply anyway?
Brown "I ordered duck a l'orange!"
Straw to MacCartney "You should wax your legs, like I do..."
The trials and tribulations of being Prime Minister:
Prescott, put that knife NOW I say, and stop pushing little Peter Hain’s arm up every time I say “who wants to be deputy leader after John at the conference?”. While we’re at it Johnson, please do stop pulling nasty faces at Hain – you know he wants to be Gordon’s deputy and not yours.
Reid, I don’t know what it is you are doing to Gordon but please do stop it. It looks revolting whatever it is, and Miliband Senior please DO stop encouraging him – you know it only makes him make more stupid speeches to Muslim radicals.
McCartney and Straw, we played “dressing up in Cherie’s castoffs” yesterday, so please go and change, and Jack, who told you you were grown up enough to drink wine?
Margaret, before we go any further can you please stick this sheep’s head on before the official photographer gets here …
You've all been waving your arms and shouting for 2 days now! Which of you is Peter Hitchens?
Little more than a tiny blur and a brown smudge in history.
Twojags Hischariots
Anne Robinson (left of picture)'You are the weakest link,Hello.'
'No good,Tony.After the England job no one'll vote for Kevin Keegan.'
Mum to Dad at art gallery,referring to little Joey:'You know his counting's not too good.Tell him to count toes,not boobies.'
Gordon Brown: One of you will betray me.
'..And my successor shall be--He who can produce the most ectoplasm.Well done David.Lovely shoulders boy,show 'em off,show 'em off.'
Hain and Prescott share a story about their threesome with a pygmy woman.
Tony,by now so far up his own arse,had to employ Kevin Keegan to get him about by means of a harness arrangement.
Gordon,having exhausted all bile and venom with which to throw at Tony.Asks Hoon,Reid et al to search the other end for fresh ammo.
Straw,sans contacts,seeing McCartney: 'MOTHER!?'
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