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Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Blair's Long Goodbye Speech - Liveblog

Thanks Prezza for sticking New Labour down the throats of the party membership.

Class Cherie joke "At least I don't have to worry about her running off with the bloke next door".

Starts listing how brilliant things are now and how terrible they were in 1997.

Things are really, really brilliant.

Starts on the history of the Labour party. Points out that Council house sales were first proposed by Labour.

Says gossip is more newsworthy than real news. [Too right, check the traffic figures...]

"It is hard to let go" - legacy will be a fourth term victory.

I love you Gordon, I do.

India, China, Terror, Change, Globalisation, Open yet secure, secure but open, openly secure, securely open. Openness. Security. Partners in progress.

New Labour for ever. Ten more years. Thousand year reich.

Nukes now, biosciences, stem-cell research, global warming, clean technology, clean coal, clean up politics, Kyoto to the max.

Skools are brilliant, loads more teachers, Google generation.

NHS reform SMASH THE UNIONS for a fourth term.

Home Office, Civil liberties, lock em up. ID cards will protect you. PRAISES REID. Ooooh.

Terrorists are everywhere. War for Peace. ID cards for Freedom.

I sorted out Belfast, I'll sort out Palestine. I love Dubya.

Joke about the Blair boys canvassing, [See Gordon he connects with people, he can be funny, human, a leader]

No rules in politics. Get after David Cameron's Tories, takes the piss out of non-policies and hug-a-mugger. Accuses Cameron of pandering to anti-Americanism.

Praises Denis Skinner. [Audience ecstatic.] Starts getting misty eyed. Audience silent. We are the world. We saved Africa. Win one more time for me. "You are the future now, make the most of it."

He is just too good. They're going to miss him when he's gone.

203 comments:

«Oldest   ‹Older   1 – 200 of 203   Newer›   Newest»
Anonymous said...

Sounded to me like an admission she did say those four words yesterday

Gordon Brown said...

Why the hell hasn't he mentioned me yet?? I'll get him for this.

Anonymous said...

Well that's a lie

battle of vienna said...

brown looks fucking miserable.

battle of vienna said...

blair is up to about 5 or 6 jokes now. christ, what a contrast to Brownstuff.

brown tried to laugh, but his scowl got in the way... and prezza looks miserable as well.

Mr Eugenides said...

Cracking gag. However, as Anon points out, this is a tacit admission that No. 10's denials of the Cherie story have been complete bullshit from start to finish.

Vlad the Impala said...

The speech has echoes of the stupid short slogans of the last election. "Remember how bad things were? The dead unburied (whoops, sorry wrong history). The lame blinded. Trade unionists in chains. People working stabbed." etc. Compared with Gordo the Scowl. still a good performer. What a shame about the competence and honesty bits. I think I see a little tear...ahh. Bless. Gordon got his little imprimatur, not quite an endorsement tho.

news24watcher said...

Hillarious watching Brown nodding in agreement when Blair says he's "Gordon's a remarkable servant to the country... would not have won three terms without him etc."

machiavelli said...

Blair says Gordon Brown is "remarkable".

Well, how many ways can you read that?!

Gordon Brown said...

How can I ever believe anything you say again?

fruitcake said...

"remarkable brown"? Hmm methinks we could have a cult on our hands

Frank Fisher said...

"a remarkable servant"

Uhuh. In other words: "The guy is a great follower, not a great leader"

Lordy, he's on about collectivism now - next thing you know he'll be touting the Morning Star...

Amazing rhetorical tosh - constantly leading you in the direction of a presumed conclusion then..... shifting the argument on somewhere else. It's all buzzwords and no beef.

Err... now he's getting applause on nuclear power - how have they staged that? A labour conference applaud nukes? Huh?

Peter Hitchens said...

I know Im not supposed to say this
but...
WHAT A FUCKING CUNT!
Im trying to watch it but have to keep turning the TV off.
CUNT!!!!!!!!
Sometimes only that word will do.

Peter Hitchens said...

now the fucker is claiming to have solved the energy "crisis"

Stalking Horse said...

How exactly is Brown supposed to look happy during the speech?

When he is just doing a tv interview, he has people standing above him pulling invisible strings tied to each end of his jowly mouth, which makes him appear to smile at appropriate moments, like a marionette. Clearly, they would be too visible on the stage of a conference set.

Anonymous said...

Did I just see Minge Cambell in the front row at the conference.......ah no! it was Tony Booth (farter in law)

Peter Hitchens said...

the nhs is being "rebuilt"
haahhahah

fruitcake said...

Peter (whichever) Hitchens 3:07

You strike me as a man who's a tad upset, chill baby, put on a thong, have a beer and relax, this is Blair gone but not forgotten speech.

Anonymous said...

love the comment about how Labour would not have secured three election victories without Brown -- am I overinterpreting this as an implicit challenge: ' . . . but without me, what will you be able to achieve on your own?'

Peter Hitchens said...

"GOOGLE"generation
CUNT
come on mention the Ipod

battle of vienna said...

forward not back!
he's in full on soviet five year plan mode now 60,000 buildings , 40000 hospitals, 40 per cent rise, 10 per cent more, 300,000 work, blah blah fucking blah...

oh - he's switched to the internet now. "google generation".. "people wont accept a service handed down from on high" (dig at gordo?)

news24watcher said...

Gordon is looking bored now. Starting to roll his eyes a lot.

Anonymous said...

Google generation: this from a PM who famously couldn't use a computer!

leon said...

Ah more guff about the net...he said all this crap in 97, little good it did him. The fucker probably still can't send email...

Ribby said...

I noticed the bands played before he came on were (in order):

New Order
Take That

I was expecting the next one to be Jilted John ("Gordon is a mor-on, Gordon is a mor-on") But was sadly let down.

Peter Hitchens said...

transformed schools
that you have tony
transformed them into ong factorys

the cunt has just said "if we fail"
hahhahah

Peter Hitchens said...

crimes fallen and asylum seekers are being deported
really?

Anonymous said...

"I don't want to put any of our essential freedoms at jeopardy, but..."

Hmm...

Anonymous said...

Thousand year reich? Does that mean we need to be looking for this generations Count Von Stauffenburg? I'd nominate Claire Short because of the remarkable resemblance....

Anonymous said...

hitchens - calm down dear, it's only a speech.

Peter Hitchens said...

ive head it all
the jug eared twat is now saying how crap it is that we cant deport mad mullahs , this coming from the wanker who brought in the HRA
fuck
im turning into moko

Suburban Legend said...

I've gotta hand it to you - if you're not the real Peter Hitchens, then you're a fucking good impressionist.

"Guido Hitchens" said...

"google generation"?

Dude, you're out of touch - we're the 'myspace generation' now.

Frank Fisher said...

"We can only protect liberty by making it relevent to the modern world"

Tony, dear, what the FUCK does that mean? Oh I see - it means we need ID cards. So we can park at Disneyland?

what a cockhead

more criminal justice "reforms" on the way - out goes the jury, out go appeal court powers, in come the scotsmen in long leather coats and jackboots

Anonymous said...

Who's world is he living in? I waited 15 months for an endoscopy and this prat has said the waiting lists are down.....Liar Liar Liar!

SimonR said...

Bliar: "We need to remove your liberty to ensure you get liberty...errr"

Anonymous said...

thought we were the "Youtube" generation? Or was that last week

fruitcake said...

Hmm, but Reid hasn't been there long, that's a wetfish slap for jugears...wonder if he'll mention his old mucker flunkett?

Anonymous said...

ID cards will save us all! Just keep repeating "We are free, we are free"

The cards won't be though, they'll cost a bloody fortune!!

whiffler said...

I'm gonna get sainted for saving Israel & Palestine from themselves (& each other)


Cunt

Frank Fisher said...

oh somebody just shoot him, for fuck's sake..

"surely an african life..."

vomits blood

cynic said...

We should be the MySpace generation for Tony, if he wants to get his plugs in to earn the support of the Digger...

Peter Hitchens said...

anon 3:20
next time you need one contact me through Guido,
7 days wait and 10% guido discount

Nosmo said...

I'm part of the "please go now you bunch of crooks" generation.

SimonR said...

Bliar "I AM GOING TO SAVE THE WORLD!!! PRAISE ME!!!!!!!"...sorry got a bit carried away there! :)

"Guido Hitchens" said...

"We can only protect liberty by making it relevent to the modern world"

Oh I get it - by redefining the concept to mean serfdom.

Mr Eugenides said...

Wouldn't it be a lot better if Tony's speech was actually delivered in Guido-ese?

SimonR said...

Ahhh, isnt that nice, his son got abused.....better than what happend to his daughter I guess....

Peter Hitchens said...

he sorted out belfast?
there was me thinking it was just Adams and McGuiness deciding to try another tack.

fruitcake said...

Is there an opening at the UN he's after?

hatfield girl said...

he's touting his children for their turn at freeloading off the rest of us. otherwise we are really taking part in the lauding of the thousand year reich.

leon said...

I actually think I'm going to puke.

Frank Fisher said...

So, Tony, your sons went out canvassing for you. That's nice. Was Kathryn with them? No? I wonder why not?

Anonymous said...

Cherie to Nick(?) as Tony tells a story about his two sons canvassing "is that true?"

Even she doesn't believe a word he says

Andrea said...

" now he's getting applause on nuclear power - how have they staged that? A labour conference applaud nukes? Huh? "

They clap at everything at party conferences. Yesterday a delegate went on stage and she said "I'm (insert her name that I can't recall now) from Mitcham and Morden CLP" and the audience clapped

Peter Hitchens said...

More Methoxyflurane please Nurse.

SimonR said...

God, how much longer is this going to go on for...

rexie said...

Can't disagree with that bit about Cameron pandering to anti-Americanism

sero said...

First Brown, now Blair. The only thing that rouses the demoralised troops is Cameron-bashing. They're hypnotised by their fear of him.

big bryan said...

and praise for the odd handful of ex Ministers who were sacked without a whimper in reply.....

Scary Biscuits said...

Can somebody please moderate out this Peter Hitchens bore? Does he really think people are interested in reading him calling TBlair rude names over and over again?

SimonR said...

Yeah, Brown is really going to win THREE elections! HA!

Anonymous said...

oh I don't know, hitchens it isn't that bad. he speaks for a generation (of doctors).

Splashitallover said...

That praise for Gordon - "remarkable" - my dictionary defines "remarkable" as:

1. Worthy of notice.
2. Attracting notice as being unusual or extraordinary

Seems a bit equivocal to me.

BJ said...

But Rexie, Cameron pandered to anti-Bushism, not anti-Americanism. I think there's a difference, and I think that bit of TB's speech will be picked up for that....

SimonR said...

Well at least I didnt fall asleep, unlike the Brown speech....ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Thersites said...

I wonder what Dennis Skinner is really saying to the TV right now...

Blair truly is Thatcher - at least in the sense that his party needs him and won't hold together without him.

Or does that make him like Bill Clinton?

'Gentle Compassionate Principles' - what a fool. 'Losing' is all he hates - hence why the ends justify the means.

The 'millions' who depend on us - does he mean all the Diversity Officers and NHS bureaucrats?

'The Great Adventure Of Progress' - you pretentious little shyster...

'I'm with you!' Fuck, is that a threat or a curse???

Plenty of sycophants in the audience... Must have screened the crowd rigourously.

leon said...

LOL! I nearly fluffed the ending!

AntiCitizenOne said...

Tony Bliars main themes.

WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH

also

ungoodbehaviour is un-up
NHS rations are up!
Blairistan double-plus good since year zero (1997)
Airborne plant food now a poison.

Celebrate Nu-labours 22nd Birthday!

big bryan said...

yor are the future..... but no 'i am the pastt' A hint of a continuing role in the shadows

Average guy on the street said...

I'm in the "up to my eyeballs in debt before I can even get a proper job thanks to Labour's higher education policies" generation.

Anonymous said...

When does Kim Il Jung come out.

I am glad crime is down though as I thought I had my car radio stolen at the weekend now I realise I must have misplaced it.

Thersites said...

Self-congratulatory onanism of a kind usually seen only in Pyonyang...

SimonR said...

AntiCitizenOne you forgot "We have never been at war with privatisation, we have always supported privatisation"

big bryan said...

And the placards reminded me of the ones that you see at US TV wrestling shows...............

wrinkled weasel said...

He should get an Oscar.

dynamite said...

I'm in the "up to my eyeballs in debt before I can even get a proper job thanks to Labour's higher education policies" generation.

So am I, but I call it the "Tories are shits too and would have done the same generation".

Thersites said...

Where's footage of the 7/7 bombings? Or the bit where Twigg got turfed out of Portillo's old seat.

How much taxpayer's money was spent on the Wicked Whale's haircut? My local hair salon could have done it for £8.50. With a trainee.

SimonR said...

"I'm proud to have wasted billions on tax credits, lets waste a few billion more!"

Anonymous said...

No matter how much of a git Blair is, it was a crackingly-well delivered performance. He took them by the scruff off the neck and it was fantastic.

PS. I'm a life-long Tory!

Andrea said...

"He should get an Oscar. "

Glenda can give him one of her Oscars. Probably she was there in the hall ready to throw one at him

Anonymous said...

Mandleson suggests there is a fissure, in the relationship betwwen Brown and Blair, Given the way Brown has been shafted, we all know its an anal fissure,looking as uncomfortable as he does!

leon said...

I wonder how consciously they chose this tune to play him out.

“You’re dirty and sweet…”

!

Anonymous said...

The man is a c*nt but they will certainly miss him.

"Guido Hitchens" said...

Lets face it - he *is* a great orator (although not 100% a natural - the hand gestures and quivering voice are sooo contrived) and noone else in modern british politics comes close.

Brown will lose them the next election because he just doesn't have it.

Whiffler said...

Not since Julian Clary followed behind Norman Lamont have I since a Chancellor so royally fisted !.

Bliar had the fools roaring and cheering for their own demise. Marvellous stuff.

Anonymous said...

85 comments in 1 hour - Norris, is this a record?

Anonymous said...

Guido

Absolutely right. Gordo doesn't have it, but does Little Boy Blue?

I doubt it.

allan said...

Greatest Prime Minister since Macmillan.

istanbultory said...

It'll take a few years in opposition before they rechristen TB as Labour's greatest leader.

Guthrum said...

Stage managed to the end, loved the 'hand written spontaneous' posters being waved about, redefining Liberty eh! crime going down eh!not in my neck of the woods matey boy.

sero said...

Blair said he couldn't have won three elections without Gordon. The camera on Brown showed him saying "Yep, Yep".

Beyond analysis; just plain weird.

Anonymous said...

Of course New Labour is insincerity incarnate but Blair is a true master of politics whereas Brown is a lumbering, bullying fool.

Getting rid of Tony and replacing him with Blair must be the craziest move ever. It's like Virgin sacking Richard Branson and bringing in Basil Fawlty.

I'm gonna wait for the leadership election and, if it's Brown, put a very serious amount of money on Cameron for PM.

mutleythedog said...

What does fisted mean - and who is Julian Clary?

Anonymous said...

Blair is the master of politics. Cameron is a foppish oaf.

fuchsia groan said...

scary biscuits said:
Can somebody please moderate out this Peter Hitchens bore? Does he really think people are interested in reading him calling TBlair rude names over and over again?

I like to see TB being called rude names.

joty said...

A barnstorming speech by anyones standards. A smooth operator!

Hung Parliament anyone...

SimonR said...

Can't wait for the next Labour Conference....I'm guessing Labour will be at around 25% in the polls with Brown in charge!

Anonymous said...

Er, I meant Brown. Even contemplating the bloke turns me into a muppet.

istanbultory said...

I like to see TB being called rude names as well.

Anonymous said...

"Blair is the master of politics. Cameron is a foppish oaf." - This is some desperate shit from a NuLab loyalist. Cameron will wipe the floor with Brown if Labour is crazy enough to pick their weakest link as leader.

Advice to Labour - keep Blair. If he stayed who would bet against him pulling off another victory?

SimonR said...

Wow, "Others" hate him more than Tories....what the hell???!!!

Anonymous said...

"Can't wait for the next Labour Conference....I'm guessing Labour will be at around 25% in the polls with Brown in charge! "

next conference...new leader just elected and in his honeymoon...so Labour at more than 35%

Anonymous said...

Cameron is vaccous and hollow. Brown, despite the vilification from a load of Little Englanders on here whose prinicple reason for disliking him is that he happens to be Scottish, is a political heavyweight - ten years as Chancellor of the Exchequer.

As for Little Boy Blue, where's the beef?

istanbultory said...

England won't be voting for Gordo. The "foppish oaf" wins...

Anonymous said...

Blair = winner. Brown = loser.

That reality was set in stone the evening Brown was outmanouevred at Granita. The whole country knows Brown's a has-been (or never-will-be).

John Reid is the man.

Nosmo said...

"We can only protect liberty by making it relevent to the modern world".

Just like torture....

Anonymous said...

"Cameron is vaccous and hollow."

So's Blair and he's won three in a row.

Shit is Brown and Brown is shit. Get over it, New Labour crybaby.

Fruning Graplecard said...

At the risk of the wrath of Verity who appears to be an authority of these things the speech was an exercise in sentimentality, par excellence, and as Wilde said, "Sentimentality is the Bank Holiday of cynicism".

Anonymous said...

best of all, and this will stick in tory throats like cameron's sperm after the amount of servile felatio he'll receive next week - the Tories never beat him.

Andrew Young said...

Odds are too long on Reid.

How do I place a bet?

cynical sid said...

How did the world survive before Emily arrived? Annihilation awaits us when he's gone!

Bliar for 'President of the World' forever!

Well until the mortgages are paid off!

eric the boy said...

I missed the speech, bah!

Did Blair at any stage mention the late John Smith or pay any form of tribute to him?

istanbultory said...

We never beat Bliar. We'll thrash Gordo.

Gordo luvs Mark said...

and this will stick in tory throats like

Not really - envy and revenge are for ingrate leftys.

SimonR said...

"next conference...new leader just elected and in his honeymoon...so Labour at more than 35%"

Sure, but once he makes his first snooze fest speech at the conference it will be the start of his decline.

All the polls show no one likes Brown, why the hell they are so keen on him!!!

fuchsia groan said...

Anonymous said:
Brown, despite the vilification from a load of Little Englanders on here whose prinicple reason for disliking him is that he happens to be Scottish, is a political heavyweight - ten years as Chancellor of the Exchequer.

Stop trying to turn this into a race issue. I am sick to death of hearing what a great Chancellor Brown is. Is that the same Brown who sold off our gold reserves at a knock-down price?

Gerry Anderson said...

Cherie looked like one of my Thunderbird puppets when made to applaud Gordon.

"Guido Hitchens" said...

@Anonymous 4:01pm

"Little Englanders"

Err - I'm Scottish. I dislike him because he has no charisma. pure and simple.

Simply being a political heavyweight does not cut it with the electorate.

Pillars said...

Great speech from the fuhrer. Must be oscar material.

I especially enjoyed the goose steppin in the hall at the end.

Hell, it's feel good stuff at it's finest....let's invade somebody. Aim our 6 minx helicopters and 14 ships at Iran.

raincoaster said...

Bloody hell, at least let me POST the comments before you blow them up. I had an epic post about Blair's political style and it went POOF! The servers must be straining.

In any case, it's a true joy to watch someone as good at this really stretch out. He knows this is going to be the speech the media will mine for clips in future years, and he made the most of it. Great politician, bad governor.

Alcatraz said...

Pillars perhaps we should take on someone more manageable like the Faroe Islands

the ghost of John Trenchard said...

they're going to miss him. i really dont know how he does it - a speech full of vacous blairisms, inane statements,half truths and downright lies.

and yet he still delivered a tour-de-force. fuck knows whats going on with the idiots in Labour who want him out. he'd win a 4th term, no doubt about it...
(and i'm a Tory by the way...)

Anonymous said...

Bring Bring-

Hi New vision design, fiona speaking how can i help.

Labour press office - Hi Fi, we need a poster that reads BEST PM EVER, we need it asap for Tones speech. One thing is though we need it to look like its homemade, like some ordinary supporter created it with a biro, in a fit of admiration. We've got a £20k budget, is this feasible?

Fi - Should just about cover it, why not just do one yourself though, it shouldnt be difficult!

LPO - No, we prefer to keep with our corporate arrangements, i mean whats £20k when you donated us £350,000 las year, must dash CHOW.

http://www.ghostofhumphrey.blogspot.com

Harry Basset said...

I don't object to Brown, Reid etc as PM because they are Scottish. It is because they are elected in Scotland and make policies for England which do not impinge on their voters. sorry not witty but want to set record straight.

Schoolboy Error said...

Robin Cook told us Blair KNEW there were no WMDs before the commons vote.Labour voters should get free copies of 'the little red book of Labour sleaze'.It's because of left wing infiltration of the media that no one believes anything a politician says.Blair will be cursed and forgotten as soon as he goes.The fact you brought us Campbell,Mandelson and the rest won't be.

Anonymous said...

"this will stick in tory throats"

Er, not really. This will all be forgotten next week. Who cares what yesterday's man said? Not Cameron, or Brown for that matter.

Anonymous said...

Don't mention the war!

Anonymous said...

Poor Brown. Sky had a BrownCam as a screen insert to watch his reactions. Not much random grinning.

Blair's speech was full of little digs, incl the one about politicians needing to be "fully paid up members of the human race"

Desperate Dan said...

Blair would NOT win a 4th term. The hand-picked morons in the Conference Hall might think so but they're outnumbered by millions who can't stand the sight or sound of the pancaked, pompadour coiffed warmonger. He's spent so much time out of the country during the past ten years he has no idea what sort of tin pot banana republic he's created.
I notice Cherie took her lard-arse daughter with her so she looked positively sylph-like by comparison.

fuchsia groan said...

Blair's speech was full of little digs