Battersea X-Factor : Michael Crick is in the Building
Ring, Ring, Ring, Ring...Guido Fawkes: Morning Michael
Michael Crick: Who is that?
GF: Guido
MC: Oh, crikey
GF: Who are you voting for tonight in Battersea?
MC: I don't know yet...
GF: You were at Oxford weren't you, aren't you contemporaneous with any of them? It is an Oxford slate.
MC: Don't think so. Well I have met Louise Bagshawe, she wrote to me outraged after my Jeffrey Archer book came out.
GF: Really?
MC: Yes, took me out to tea at a very grand hotel and told me I'd got it all wrong and how he had been very nice to her when she was starting out.
GF: Ha!
MC: I think she has seen the light now.
Crick lives in the constituency and told Guido he is probably going to take his daughter along. He is "not sure" if he is going to take a camera-crew along with him. He also told Guido that in July 1976 he wrote an article in the New Statesman advocating primaries. Sometimes policy takes time to implement Michael...
57 comments:
You missed the chance to keep asking him annoying questions without giving him a chance to answer, until he was slightly rude and ran for cover.
So Bagshawe is a devotee of Lord Archer. Enough said. I am sure the voters will be mightily impressed. I like David Cameron and I voted for him but this A-List affair has been a real low in his leadership.
All of them look pretty abysmal. Why is anyone interested in what goes on the capithole. The best thing for Battersea would surely be targeted air strikes. No sod that, carpet bombing. Same goes for most London boroughs as far as I can see.
What about Eric Forth. He get's my vote. He's clearly a nature lover and has been doing some fabulous things for the worms of late.
Bring me the head of Eric Forth ! It should be loose by now.
GF: Guido
MC: Oh, crikey
Well if that isn't an ego booster I don't know what is!
I dare say Eric Forth would be willing to do his bit in the service of party and country.
good to know that Guido is known to Mikey!
MC: ... I have met Louise Bagshawe, she wrote to me outraged after my Jeffrey Archer book came out.
GF: Really?
MC: Yes, took me out to tea at a very grand hotel
Who is Michael Crick - surely a Gentleman should have taken the Lady out for tea
I think you're right GC. The best conversatives are the dead ones in my experience. I often have that Milligan fella over to my celestial pad for a fruit salad. Surely it cannot be long before the Blessed Margaret will ascendeth into heaven likewise.
I understand that a secret coven inside the Monday Club are working with the Arch-Druid of Basildon to create a mystical hex to re-enchant her when the big date with the sickle guy finally arrives.
I can only wonder as to why Lord Snooty Macaroon the present incumbent on the fabulous hotseat stays silent about such things. He should be creating a team of all the talents - the dead as well as the living. It's criminal that such a figure as dead Derek Firth-of-Forth is being wasted just because he's now merely a rotting shell of his former embodied self.
It never held me back.
Crick also has (or had) a house in one of the prettier bits of Cameron's Witney constituency. The last time I spotted him mind was leaving Eastlands in tears after his beloved MUPLC had lost another Manchester derby :-)
The Blind-winger Jones,
I'd watch yourself if Milligan does pop round. He had some very strange ways and odd habits. Make sure no lighting fixtures are to be found over your kitchen table.
"Strange ways and odd habits" do not surprise me. They are an absolute prerequisite for becoming a Tory MP, but I'll shall take heed of your wise counsel in this matter.
I've always found the manner in which he eyed the dead Mrs Jones' coarse mill-girls hand-me-down hosiery slightly unsettling.
I think Ainsley Harriot and Gordon Ramsey might be Battersea residents too. I wonder if they could be persuaded to show?
Indeed, Mr. Jones. Who can forget Frank Dobson's words of tribute to his former parliamentary colleague... Milligan certainly met with a sticky end although even in his current state he would make for a better candidate than the shower contesting Battersea.
The Ainsley Harriot fellow would be an excellent choice. Not only does have a name which sounds like Harrogate, which is a splendid Northern Spa town beloved by Tories and Liberals alike he's also not a Scotchman like Ramsgate.
Many people are unaware that the celebrity chef named after the Kent home of the Sally Line is a Scotchman, so devilish are they at disguise these days.
The misty glens of the frozen north echo to the sound of ginger-hairy men, throwing their voices, turning out the bland, characterless, estaurine drawl of their Saxon nemesis. Only by this means can they succeed in turning Hertfordshire into a gigantic Tunnocks Tea Cake factory.
The devilishness of it all....
Draft Harrogate ! Harrogate for Battersea !
Let that be the peoples chant.
more to the point Bob Geldof is a Battersea resident, do we think he'll make it back from speaking at the labour conference in time to attend the open primary?
Stephen Miligan did die in an unfortunate manner a few days after he'd asked a question in the Commons about plans for Sizewell B. Some time beforehand, a nuclear physicist from Aldermaston died the same way. So did a bloke from Bodmin who was forever writing to The Guardian about Sizewell B. A journalist at a weapons fair in Argentina died the say way. About the same time 2 nuclear physicists from Birmingham University went to work one m orning and were found dead on top of a Welsh mountain a few days later. These men were the Dr David Kelly's of their day and it seems a bit odd that Milligan's name has suddenly surfaced at this time when TB is ordered Trident and more n uclear power stations.
I think someone might have written a drama losely based on it all. Maybe Chris Mullins? If n ot, he should have done.
Milligan's death is no laughing matter.
F**k me! Danni Minogue lives in Battersea too. She'll probably go for Bagshawe.
At 10:56 AM, Anonymous said...
MC: ... I have met Louise Bagshawe, she wrote to me outraged after my Jeffrey Archer book came out.
GF: Really?
MC: Yes, took me out to tea at a very grand hotel
Who is Michael Crick - surely a Gentleman should have taken the Lady out for tea
----
anon forgets that it was Louise who was the buyer (of Michael Crick's "services").
no such thing as a free cuppa, I suppose!
Im reliably informed by people who have canvassed with him before that Sam Gyimah is not quite the dedicated campaigner he would like to make out.......... Plenty of local visibility but usually when he jumps out of a taxi, takes a little walk then jumps back in, Battersea choose him at your peril..........
'this A-List affair has been a real low in his leadership'
GC methinks history may well judge it the high point.
I heard different - she asked him why he had attacked Archer's mother who was not a public figure
Talking of seasoned campaigners I see that Ellison stood in the Labour seat of Pendle, the 79th Tory target in 2005. Here are a couple of election results she might like to explain:
2001 – Conservatives in Pendle = 33.9%
2005 – Conservatives in Pendle = 31.8%
Did you know its costing Battersea over £4000 to put tonight on ... according to info given at a meeting of agents yesterday ... if that is repeated throughout the country .. the tories will bankrupt in a year
Justme, and why do you think the £4,000 cost will be repeated throughout the country? It won't be, I can guarantee you that. In fact I bet you £4,000 multiplied by the number of Parliamentary seats that it won't be.
The majority of the cost was in the producing of leaflets for every house hold in the ward .. that is going to have to be repeated throughout the county .. so i will take your bet!
justme - but there isn't going to be a primary in every constituency is there? Non-priority seats won't be restricted to priority candidates and some seats will simply re-adopt incumbents. And even where there are they don't have to put a leaflet through every door - that's not a requirement of the rules as I understand them (the only requirement is local publicity and that can mean a decent local newspaper). Are you really sure you want to press on with this?
I wonder what happened to my suggestion for an all-lesbian shortlist?
Some of these people don't look like proper lesbians.
Do something!
Sviatoslava Richterova,
Obviously, Scotton Pinkney has a greater commitment to diversity in all its forms than the metropolitan types up in Battersea. You chaps are ahead of the times in many respects... With a Chair of the Parochial Church Council like miss Minnie Cottle, this is only to be expected. Where does Count Grapplecard stand on lesbians? I imagine he's all for it.
At 2:08 PM, JustMe said...
Did you know its costing Battersea over £4000 to put tonight on ... according to info given at a meeting of agents yesterday ... if that is repeated throughout the country .. the tories will bankrupt in a year
-------
I wonder how much it cost the Labour Party to put on Bill Clinton today.
The word is that £200,000 is the going rate!
They'll have to fire yet more people at Labour HQ to pay off BC.
Hello GC old chap!
My ears were burning. That Minnie Cottle is a cracker, but I fear Evil of Dron has plans for her.
As for Lesbians, I don't mind as long as I can watch. Grafienė Stacey Graplecard did a bit at night school, but it gave her terrible back ache and the carpet was ruined, even after the application of shake 'n' vac.
At 4:01 PM, peter hitchens' schlong said...
They'll have to fire yet more people at Labour HQ to pay off BC.
------
Clinton may have done it for free!
Anybody got the phobne number of the venue?
I would love to ring up and ask for Hugh Jarse
"Whom"
"oops sorry I meant Michael Portillo"
Poisonous bitter old queen who looks like God threw him together using a space hopper and one of micheal fabricants old wigs.
for goodness sake... if the labour party have any sense they will turn up in strength and vote for whoever is least likely to do well. Open primaries simply downgrade the local membership and they've little enough reason to stay on as members now.
The concept of an open primary only works in a country where people have to formally register themselves as partisans of a particular political party or as independents. It won't fly in Blighty. And even the dimmest of schlongs should realise it.
GC- Its good to see the word “schlong” being used more frequently in polite conversation. It warms the cockles of my heart.
any body know what has happened to mark coote the former candidate for Hastings and rye
Anyone at the venue?
Anything interesting been said?
I've just realised something. I have no idea what any of the candidates believe apart from that leftie Ellison.
Another fucking scandal about to brew.Conservative Home has reported the numbers on the general approved list along with the increased number of hopefuls awaiting a Parliamentary Assessment Board.
In early summer Candidates Dept were reporting that an approved list of about 500 was about right including some 150 on the Priority list.
With the demand from young hopefuls at the highest level ever the List is expected to top 1100-a record.Expectations of applicants will never be fulfilled and disappointment will be the order of the future.
The scandal is that a bright bee in CCHQ has discovered what a money spinning racket it is to hold PABs and enlarge the funds of the party.
Any news? Surely the meeting's over now?
Like Battersea tonight ref 10:09
Politics is about POWER -chi chi A list. SEX -Zac Goldsmith and some chi chis. Now MONEY extorted from the youth of the party.
I agree it is disgusting behaviour.
Jane Ellison won! Oh no....
My sources at the meeting tell me tell me that Ellison won
No news yet than about James the smart arse, as to whether he is going to be the Clever Dick of Battersea.
Yes the news is declared smart arse is out yippee
And smart arse Potibello did have his own agenda
A great result
The fact that Guido Fawkes was against Jane Ellison is a plus for her in my book. Guido is open thats he is not a tory afterall!
So a Yorkshire lass who fought a Lancashire seat and got a great result against the regional swing last May gets the seat. Indeed, someone with a real job who has shown total commitment to the Party over a long period.
Personally, I am just pleased that the nasty and personal attacks on her on this and other blogs proved totally irrelevant. Maybe those so keen on personal abuse will learn that you can simply go too far and so over the top as to become risable.
Well done the selectorate and well done Jane the next MP
Jane won and Bagshawe was second on a recount
Mark has posted *exactly* the same comment here, at Dale's and C Home. Wasn't he tempted to vary his prose even a little?
"Personally, I am just pleased that the nasty and personal attacks on her on this and other blogs proved totally irrelevant. Maybe those so keen on personal abuse will learn that you can simply go too far and so over the top as to become risable."
Oh dear. Another pompous po-faced and self-righteous post from someone who takes himself far too seriously.
Have you ever tried having a good time?
Michael Crick said he voted for Jane Ellison.
Speaks volumes...
Awful, awful result. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that such a sopping wet lefty gets selected in a party led by Heath-a-like Dave, but I'd hoped that the membership would have more sense.
Here's hoping she gets well and truly slaughtered - ideally, by an independent, and genuine, conservative.
In unrelated news, I'd bet anything that Bill Clinton didn't get paid money for his speech. I think what he got was Blair's endorsement for Secretary General of the UN. Blair realizes that if he does this, Clinton will support him when he steps down, which he will eventually do. Clinton likes his leisure time (and he knows damn well Hillary is never going to be Presiden).
A dreadful result. Absolutely dreadful. As a Conservative Party member, I would neither vote nor campaign for LE. Indeed, Cameron should not try our patience further on the selection of PPCs.
lerxst,
Those present were not allowed to explore her Euro-fanatic views, I'm afraid. Many of them would have had more sense than to vote for her if they'd have known.
Reagan fan
Fair comment, but not much of an excuse really. I'd hope that party activists might actually do a bit of research on candidates, if only to inform the questions they ask - not exactly an onerous task in this internet age. And if their digging throws up a past as damning as Ellison's, you'd hope the word would get passed around.
More migitating would be if - as some have suggested - this was engineered by TRG swamping the meeting.
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