MiliBlogger Contorts
Haven't had time to today to properly blog the New Statesman New Media Awards, so will just mention the strange contortions of Miliband. He has a nervous energy about him. These are a few positions into which he managed to contort, some of them were a lot more weird and unfortunately Guido failed to capture them - on stage his facial expressions had the air of someone on amphetamines. As reported elsewhere he managed to have a go at Guido in his speech for "reycling Westminster rumours" (trans. telling the truth). He did a public reading of posts from Devil's Kitchen during his speech - just as well he didn't do a reading from his own yawn inducing blog of wonkery which costs the taxpayer a pound a word.Miliband, if I recall correctly, basically exhorted Guido to blog in the service of a higher noble purpose. Not a chance. The day when a government minister praises Guido is the day he thinks it might be time to quit
35 comments:
Was he grinding his teeth, twitching his facial muscles and jabbering nonsense?
Displaying a lack of appetite , an inabilty to get drunk no matter how much he drank combined with a raging hardon?
If so , as a Doctor I think I know what his problem may be.
Dear Guido
Being praised by this Government is certainly "Conduct unbecoming an Officer & a gentleman"
It would be rather reminiscent of a 19th Century Irish Judge, who dismissed an Irish Defendant (perhaps Guido's antecedent or would it be descendant) with the words:
"You leave this Court with only one stain on your Character, you have been acquitted by a Kerry Jury"
He looks like the sort of boy who was trouble when I was a prefect, the sort you have to stop from bullying the youngsters.
Dear Mr Fawkes
I wrote earlier today, concerning another post:
Dear Sir
You wrote:
the strange contortions of Miliband
I am very sorry, but I am at a loss to know what "Miliband" might be. I assume it is not a syncopation of the phrase "military band" (such syncopations are beloved of Americans and the like); but would I be wrong in guessing that it is a proprietary product used in the building trade? "Flashband" is a plastic strip coated on one side with bitumen. It is applied to brickwork, &c., instead of the more costly and traditional lead flashing, to effect a waterproof seal. Flashband has only limited elasticity: perhaps Miliband is a new variety which may more easily be twisted if need be.
The disadvantage of such products is that they soon begin to leak.
I await your reply with interest and remain
Yours faithfully
A. de Tocquaine
Thank you for the explanation.
Mr Miliband's posture is poor and I would recommend that he (a) sits up straight and (b) repairs at his earliest convenience to a teacher of the Alexander Technique.
I am, sir, and remain
Yours sincerely
A. de T.
Miliband's blog is very virtuous. But as with most politicians it spouts conservative crap, that won't offend anybody. What we need is a lot of radical policies that will propel this country into the future.
I have some wonderful ideas and have communicated them to Jeremy Clarkson and his soon to be formed Motorists Party, which will do everything that ninety percent wants, like free parking, cheap petrol and lots of motorways and bypasses.
It will be paid for by abolishing the Air Force, Army and Navy which just give Britain a bad name by allowing Blair to invade places like Iraq.
Guido, well said!
signed Johnny Prescott.
Does anyone really believe that this anaemic little twerp could fill the space left by John Prescott?
What's humiliating is that Mr Miliband's blog beat mine in the Elected Representative category. Imagine how shit that makes me feel....
James Miller
One can't be VERY virtuous any more than one can be SLIGHTLY virtuous. I don't know why I'm telling you this, but sometimes a man can only take so much.
Which Miliband is this? I get so confused.
aubrey - a miliband is a one-man band with a thousand feet, all going in different directions.
He does look rather like a bored kid waiting for his imaginary friend to turn up.
Maybe Prezza was given the horse and saddle as well, but hasn't got round to mentioning it yet. ('Can you sign for this, please, Minister? Just arrived by bike courier. Well, it'll certainly liven up the office. Oh no! What a naughty boy! All over your lovely new silk suit!...')
Miliband deserves to succeed in some respects. He is very bright, has taken note of the lie-low approach promulgated by the power set around tone (chiefly jonathan powell). but the central contradiction of his political make-up - a habermasian marxist with an elite marxist pedigree; someone who claims to represent the interests of the masses from a peep-hole in primrose hill - mean he will ultimately be doomed. the tories will be as generous with his types as new labour were to those who fit the tory sterotypes of the 90s. Sorry dave, game's almost up. Must be some nice jobs going at the world bank.
sheep farmer...
you are not funny.
annoy another blog please
Guido, now dont get a fat head, but.
In my opinion, there is no higher cause to mankind then keeping national governments in their place. Hitler, Stalin, Pol-pot, Castro, Nasser, Mao Tse-tung, Idi Amin, Saddam Hussein, Ayatollah Khomeini, Tony Blair, to name just a few resent examples of what can happen, when we the people take our eye of their games.
It was maybe a little unfair to include "not so Teflon Tone" on the list, but who said life was fair?
Sheep farmer,
As much as I guess he would like to be, Iain Dale is not an MP, so why should he register?
PCF did done wrote this:
Was he grinding his teeth, twitching his facial muscles and jabbering nonsense?
Displaying a lack of appetite , an inabilty to get drunk no matter how much he drank combined with a raging hardon?
If so , as a Doctor I think I know what his problem may be.
If it wasn't for the raging hardon, my guess would be a come-down session after a night on pills... He looks to be of that age. Hmm...
Miliband is clearly showing early signs of osteoporosis. He should consider a back brace and drink more milk.
he's more dangerous than blair. he's as guilty as his boss. chief of policy in 1st term. blair recycled, not renewed. just think, what would blair of 95 be saying abotu blogs? 'You're all top chaps, but pelase, let's all be nice to each other and please, help me out here'. Milibland to a fault.
To give him his due, the seating at your typical corporate function usually comes from the "disability inducing, budget priced", section of the catalogue.
But just in case The New Statesman actually splashed out on some decent furniture, should we all club together and buy the Millipede a family sized tub of Preperation H?
As to blogging in the service of a higher noble purpose - isn't that what bloggers do? I thought exposing government mendacity and stupidity and reminding our "lords and masters" that they actually serve the public and not the other way around was a higher noble purpose.
By the way. When he read out examples of DK's posts did he exdel? Can't have been a long speech if he did.
RM
ps. Since you decided to write about the Millipede's contortionist routine does this mean there was no worthwhile tottie at the event?
RM
So Miliband's blog won the elected representative category. No MP deserved to come close. Local councillors have the best blogs.
Miliband is Blair. He looks like Blair, he sounds like Blair, he has the same facial tics as Blair, and just like the younger Blair of yesteryear he has the same weirdly nervous energy which causes him to appear slightly edgy and embarrassed, as it did with Blair.
Blair likes him because Blair's a narcissist. For Blair, looking at Miliband is like looking in the mirror and seeing a younger version of himself staring back. For Miliband, looking at Blair is like looking in the mirror and seeing an image of something that he aspires to be. Blair's the daddy wanting to be young again. Miliband is the adoring son, wanting to be the daddy.
So easier hiding as an anon 12:23. Why not contribute instead of moaning.
Politics isn't meant to be funny.
Come now, do you think that David looks like the sort of person who would ever do drugs? He looks more like the stool pigeon who would dob you into the fuzz (or, as they apparently and amusingly call them in Newcastle, "the shit")...
DK
Dave Chappel - what about the rest of the bloggers like Cameron?
"The day when a government minister praises Guido is the day he thinks it might be time to quit"
Careful what you offer; they are a cynical bunch...
machiavelli, re on a "come-down session after a night on the pills ", no, Guido would have recognised the symptoms and commented on it .
remember, the thicker the 'gold plating' on EU regulations, the less money defra have to pass on to our farmers, which leaves more to be diverted to paying for millimong's blog
If they had made "MiB" in the UK and 2005, Miliband would have been one of those individuals on the Alien Big Board.
Its the ghostly apple-white polypropalene skin over fleshless skull. It is the astroturf "hair" and most of all the oleaginous manner of someone who reallyreally knows they are "clever".
He was probably snorting line after line of coke off Kate moss' tits before turning up at the studio, not as unlikely as you may think.
interestingly enough my word verification begins with "yao"
Caption 1
Its about enquiring !
Its about thinking !
Its about ... what is it about ?
Caption 2
What is the difference between "command and control" and "enable and facilitate". Even Stalin could only manage 5 year plans, we can do 10 year NHS plans !
We still need the quangocracy,(NICE, HCC, GMC) just to avoid any difficult decisions, brain-dead, middle management to massacre any chance of improving anything, and, lets make 10,000 junior doctors redundant just to let them know we mean business !!!
Caption 3
Perhaps we should trust them to do the job ? Wow - that would be a revolution !
he needs a nosejob - well it's going to collapse anyway, and a teeth bleach - before someone knocks them out
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